If That's What It Takes
by GCatsPjs
Summary: How a little girl stole everyone's heart M/D
1. Just Derek

**Intro-**

**Alright Folks... This is a Grey's Anatomy fic that I actually wrote... *gasp* June of 2008. It's not in canon in any way... so basically it is my story with the Grey's characters injected. I'll be posting it in long chapters, and I just ask that you bear with me as I do so. The story does contain some physical abuse, but (as far as I can remember) It's only mentioned, and never described... (I'm not into that kind of writing.) I hope that you all enjoy the story... and... there is a sequel to it as well... so if i'm brave, I'll post that too. Enjoy!**

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><p>Tiny feet swing back and forth, hanging delicately from the big chair as the sparkles on the little girl's shoes twinkle in the lights of the airport terminal. Two gray eyes watch as each shoe swings up into her view as her feet move back and forth. A soft, sweet song was gently humming from her lips as her feet continued to dance back and forth lazily, her mouth opening as she released a long, deep yawn that changed her hum for a moment to a gentle sigh as she continued to stare at her shoes.<p>

_"Now Zoey, sweetheart. The flight attendants are going to help you get onto the plane and they'll be there to help you if you need anything. You listen to what they have to say, and your sister will be right outside the door to pick you up when your plane arrives."_

_"How am I going to know who she is?" The little girl asked as her face turned up toward the woman who had been fostering her since her mother had died two weeks prior. Her grey eyes sparkled with unshed tears as she swallowed hard._

_"She knows what you look like, she'll be looking for you… I have to go… You sit here on the chair in the terminal near the big desk, and the flight attendants will make sure that you get on the plane alright. Just look at your shoes, and don't make eye contact with anyone on the plane. Don't talk to strangers… and be safe."_

_"But I don't want to go, Miss Rory."_

_"You'll be just fine… be a brave little girl, and I'll write letters. I have your address where you'll be staying… Be a good girl…" She whispered as she crouched down and let the little girl wrap her arms around her neck, feeling her tight grip on her body as she wrapped her arms around the little girl and kissed her cheek softly. "You be a good girl." She whispered as she looked up at the flight attendant as her warm embrace slowly disappeared and the little girl took a step back, taking the flight attendant's hand. She watched the little girl look up at the flight attendant, an intense fear held deep within her eyes as she stood up and watched the little girl walk away with the flight attendant, her eyes flashing back at the woman as she held tightly to her doll, and carried on her back the little pink backpack with toys for the plane as she slowly waved as she disappeared out of sight._

She sighed wistfully once again as she continued to stare at her feet, tears slowly filled her eyes as she watched the little pink shoes pop into view time and time again.

* * *

><p>The flight was late.<p>

There were severe storms wracking the east coast and planes were not moving anywhere. The little girl continued to sit, staring at her shoes, the sparkles dulled by the shadow of other travelers who were crowding around waiting for their flights. Her tears had stopped, though her eyes never wavered from the pink sparkly shoes. Several people had come and gone, sitting beside her talking to her as she continued to hum, blocking out their attempts at conversation, her pink shoes the focus of her mind.

The flight attendant kept a close watch on the little girl, watching curiously as the little girl ignored person after person who sat beside her, gripping her doll tightly in her arms as she refused to talk to anyone. Her eyes were focused, her brow furrowed as she tried to remain brave. She walked to the front of the little girl, crouching down to try to get her attention. "Zoey?" She said softly, knowing the little girl's name from her boarding pass and special boarding instructions. "Zoey, are you alright? Are you hungry?" She asked, watching as the little girl refused to look up at her, her focus remaining strong on her toes. "Zoey, it's alright to talk to me… I'm not a stranger. I'm your friend."

The little girl's eyes remained on her toes. The soft curls in her hair bobbed slightly as she kicked her feet back and forth again, her eyes remaining on her shoes. "Sweetheart, are you hungry?" She asked again, watching as the little girl shook her head, her eyes never leaving her shoes. "If you're hungry… will you tell me?" The flight attendant asked, watching as the little girl shook her head again, her humming becoming a little louder as her bottom lip stuck out. Her face was turning red slowly as tears began to flow down her cheeks. "Do you want me to leave you here and go back to work?" She asked, watching as the girl nodded quickly, her eyes still on her shoes. "I'll be right there, okay?" She whispered as she calmed down as the flight attendant backed off.

Zoey continued to sit her seat, as the flight attendant moved away from her, her kicking legs slowly stopped as she watched the shadow of someone much taller than her sit down beside her. The man made a grunting sound as he settled in his chair, a bit of agitation in his voice as he flipped his phone open and dialed a number, listening carefully for someone to pick up, he sighed as he flipped the phone closed and shoved it in his pocket. His eyes passed to the little girl in the pink sweater sitting on the chair beside him. She wore blue jeans and her shoes were pink and sparkly. Her hair was long and blonde, cascading down her tiny shoulders with bits of curl here and there, hanging from the tiny butterfly barrette in her hair. She looked to be about six or seven years old, and she appeared to be concentrating very hard on her toes. Her eyes were determined, though he could see a bit of fear laced within her expression, and her knuckles were nearly white as she gripped the seat of the chair, sensing that he was watching her.

"Hey…" He said softly, watching as her feet began to kick a little harder, her eyes still focused on her feet as more and more travelers crowded around them, he reached forward and pulled his carryon bag a little closer. "Hey, is anyone sitting here?" He asked, noting that she was not with an adult, but sitting very much on her own, as still as could be except for her swinging feet, which seemed to be moving faster. His eyes went to hers as he noticed the intense stare she had on her feet. "Those are some nice shoes you have there." He said, watching as she kicked harder, her eyes staring more intensely than ever. "Sparkly…" He pointed out as he nodded as she began to breath deeply, trying not to cry as she listened to the man's low, soft voice as he spoke to her. "Yep…" He said as he settled back in his chair and looked to the ceiling. "I have a pair just like them…" He said, wondering if she'd understand his joke. He listened carefully and noted that the sound of the little pounding feet had stopped suddenly. They had stopped and among all of the loud cell phone conversations and frustrated customers. Among the screaming babies and screeching children, and yelling parents right behind them, all he heard was silence.

Slowly, he turned his head in the direction of the little girl's chair, only to find a pair of grey-blue eyes staring back at him. He was only being friendly, noticing that she seemed so lost and alone in the big, loud airport, her tiny frame seemingly lost in the chair that she was sitting in. Her eyes held a deep, sorrowful sadness. Her tiny pink lips were slightly parted as she looked into the sad blue eyes of the stranger sitting beside her. She watched him with a strange curiosity, unsure of exactly what to do, what to say, how to react.

She had been sitting in that chair for a very long time, and all anyone ever asked her was if she was alright. They always asked her if she needed anything, wanted anything. They noted the sad, sullen look on her face, in her eyes, in her expression and assumed that she was in need of cheering up. The man sitting beside her now, however had caught her off guard. He didn't ask her how she was feeling, if she needed anything or if she was lost. He didn't offer to help her or do something for her. He was simply making conversation. Her eyes had remained on his for a moment as his eyes showed a bit of amusement in his words, making her feel slightly warmer as her eyes slid down his long frame to his feet. He was currently wearing a pair of black dress shoes, nothing fancy as her eyes passed back up to his eyes. "Oh… you thought I was wearing them today? Oh, I only wear them for special occasions…" He nodded. "You know… tea parties, dance recitals, and stuff like that." He nodded, listening carefully as he thought that he heard a slight giggle emitted from the little girl's throat. Her eyes narrowed lightly as her lips pursed and she tried so hard to hold it back, but she couldn't help it as the corner of her lips rolled upwards, a gentle smile on her lips as she giggled. "See... this was all a ploy for me to see if you had teeth." He nodded as she giggled a little more. "Yep… you've got teeth…" He said as he turned his head and leaned back in his chair as he listened carefully to her giggle, as he listened to her feet kicking a bit lighter as she giggled and watched her toes once again as the man beside her settled into his seat for his long wait for the airplane.

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><p>The plane was delayed another half hour, and another as the man watched the little girl closely. Her eyelids were drooping, her feet long since stopped wiggling as she tried to keep her head up. He looked to the clock on the wall and noted the late hour, his eyes traveling to the little girl once again as her head dipped and lifted quickly once again as she tried desperately to stay awake.<p>

"Excuse me." He said quickly as he reached a hand toward one of the flight attendants. The flight attendant stopped and looked into the man's eyes as his eyes dropped down to the little girl just as her head drooped and lifted again. "Do you have a blanket or a pillow that she can use?" He asked in a soft voice as the woman looked to Derek and to the girl.

"She won't accept it, sir. She's our responsibility right now, not yours."

"Yes… but when she falls off that chair in an exhausted heap onto my briefcase, I'd like to know that she won't damage it." He said with a sarcastic growl, his point brought across to her very clearly. "I'd appreciate it if you could please bring me a blanket and a pillow for her."

"She will not accept it, sir."

"I will talk to her." He said with a soft nod as he watched the flight attendant walk to the counter. She pulled a small pillow and blanket similar to those that they have on the airplane and walked to him. She carefully placed the items in his hands and watched as he walked over to the little girl.

He knelt before her slowly, her eyes rolling back as she tried to steady herself, her backpack pulling her back as she tried to retain a sleepy balance. "Hey there…" He said as he knelt before her, the pillow and blanket in one hand as he ran his fingertips through his dark locks. He was positive that the flight attendant was watching his every move, and he had no qualms about it whatsoever. It made him feel glad that someone, somewhere was watching over the little girl. "Aren't you cold?" Derek asked as he watched her shake her head, refusing the blanket.

"I bet that you're tired?" He said as he watched her shake her head again, her body wobbling as she yawned a great big yawn, her hand moving to her mouth as she refused to speak. "Are you tired?" He asked, watching as her eyes stared into his as she shook her head softly. "What about if I leave this blanket here… next to you, just in case you get sleepy… will that be okay?" He asked softly.

Her grey eyes lightened slightly as she looked up at him, her cheeks were blushed with sleepiness as she opened her mouth just a little and he listened as a little squeak slipped from her lips.

"What is it, sweetheart?" He asked softly as he watched her carefully. He watched as she moved her lips, whispering something so softly that he couldn't hear it. "What was that, sweetheart?" He whispered as she swallowed hard and tilted her head as he leaned his head toward her and listened carefully.

"What is your name?" Her voice was sweet and angelic, falling softly across his ears as her breath tickled his ear as he leaned back and looked into her eyes.

"Derek." He said as he held out his hand to her. "My name is Derek." He said softly as he watched her nod her head softly.

"I…" She whimpered, her voice a little stronger as she reached her tiny hand to his. It slowly slid into his much larger hand as he tenderly gripped her hand, shaking it softly as her lip began to tremble. "I…I…"

"What's wrong?"

"I have to pee pee, Derek." She whispered, leaning closer to Derek as she pulled her hand from his.

"Oh… oh, you have to go to the bathroom?" Derek said softly as she nodded her head in affirmation. He turned his head and glanced to the flight attendant as she watched him carefully place the blanket on the chair arm. He nodded slightly at her as she walked toward them, crouching down to their level.

"What is it, sweetheart?" The flight attendant asked softly as she glanced to Derek.

"She needs to go to the ladies room." Derek said with a half smile as he watched the flight attendant nod.

"Oh… you have to go potty?" The flight attendant asked as the little girl nodded, reaching her hand toward Derek, she grabbed hold of his sleeve.

"Derek can take me." She whispered as she looked into his eyes pleading as the flight attendant shook her head softly.

"I think it'd be best if I take you, sweetheart. No boys are allowed in the little girl's room."

"I'll hold her place." Derek said softly as he nodded as the little girl's grip slowly loosened. "Go on, go with the nice lady to the potty." Derek said as he watched her gray eyes lift to the flight attendant.

"Would you mind holding her bag?" The flight attendant asked as she helped the little girl pull her pink backpack from her back.

"I wouldn't mind at all." Derek said as he carefully took the backpack and watched the little girl slide from the seat. She grasped tightly to the flight attendant's hand as he watched her turn around and give him a half smile. "Bye, Derek." She said as she waved her hand, walking away quickly with the flight attendant.

He waved his hand, watching the little girl disappear through the crowd with the flight attendant as he sat for a moment holding her bag. He looked at the little tag on the backpack, where neatly it was written.

Zoey Grey  
>342 West Manhattan St.<br>Brooklyn, NY

He smiled sadly at the little girl's name, swallowing hard for a moment as he tipped his head back for a minute or two. He closed his eyes as he tried to block out the sounds surrounding him as people bustled and shouted, yelled and grunted in dissatisfaction. The longer he sat there, the more he dreaded the ultimate flight to Seattle. A five hour flight in an enclosed area with all of these people was bound to be dreadful. He sighed deeply as suddenly he felt a slight pressure on his leg and looked down just in time to see the little blonde headed girl in motion, her hand on his leg as she pulled herself into his lap in her own accord, settling with her back against his arm and her head against his chest before he could say a word. "Hey, what do you think you're doing?" Derek asked as she reached forward and grabbed the blanket from the arm chair, pulling it over herself, she pushed her head into his chest.

"Shh…" She whispered, as she closed her eyes against the stranger. Derek shook his head and watched the curious little being in his arms as she breathed one long deep sigh, and immediately drifted off.

The flight attendant stood above them for a moment, watching the entire exchange as she watched the perplexed look on Derek's face. She reached out to lift the little girl from his lap, and was stopped by Derek's gentle fingertips on her hand. "No…" he whispered as he nodded toward her. "Just let her sleep." He whispered, as he held the tiny stranger in his arms, as she nodded softly and stood up, as everything around them continued to move.

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><p>With a loud snort and a head jerk, Derek was awake. His vision was blurry for a moment as he felt the sharp pain in his neck from having it in one place for so long, and it took him a moment to realize that someone was tapping on his shoulder. "Sir?" The flight attendant said as he realized that his arms were holding something protectively, he looked up at her blankly. "Sir…I need to put her on the plane…" She whispered as she nodded toward the little bundle.<p>

He looked down into his arms at the tiny curled up creature, her hand grasping tightly to his shirt as her lips moved amid a tender, sweet dream, her lips curled up just slightly. "The plane is boarding?" Derek asked in a husky, sleepy tone as he shifted the tiny girl and sat up, carefully standing with her still in his arms.

"Sir, the plane is full… were you on standby?"

"I was… I was bumped from and earlier flight and they put me on standby for this one. Please, please tell me that the plane isn't full." He shook his head as he continued to hold the little girl.

"I'm sorry sir, but if you didn't answer the page when you were called, you missed your opportunity." She said softly as she reached across and carefully lifted the little girl from his arms.

"You're kidding me…" Derek shook his head as he reluctantly gave up the warm body that had been resting against him. "Please, please tell me that you're kidding…" He said as he ran his hand through his hair and shook his head.

"Another flight is leaving in an hour… I can make sure that you're on it…" She nodded as she turned toward the door to carry the little girl toward the gate, disappearing through the door as Derek stood and stared as it closed behind her. He sighed a frustrated sigh as he walked back toward the seat, his head in the air as he paced back and forth for a moment, his head dropping as his gaze stopped at the seat.

"Shit…" he whispered to himself as he reached forward and grabbed hold of the little pink backpack, turning swiftly as he grabbed his briefcase, as not to leave it unattended.

"Excuse me…" He said to the woman at the counter by the door. "Excuse me, this bag… this bag belongs to that little girl that…"

"I'm sorry sir, do you have a ticket for this flight?" The woman asked in an agitated tone as she watched him hold the pink backpack in his hand tightly.

"No… no, but the little girl… Zoey… the little girl that the flight attendant just brought to the…" Derek said as the woman held her hand out to him rudely and shook her head.

"Sir, you're going to have to take a step back… the plane is almost ready for take off, and you can't be shoving bags in our faces… I'm going to have to call security if you don't calm…" As she finished her sentence, the phone at the desk rang and the woman lifted he receiver while giving Derek an angry stare. "What is going on down there…?" She asked into the receiver as Derek continued to hold the bag out to her. "Kay… are you…? Bring her back down then… she can go on the next flight if she's that worked up… Call her contact and let them know that she's having a fit. Her information is up here at the desk… Besides, there's a man here that claims that she forgot her… Oh… so she did forget her bag…" The woman muttered as she reached forward and grabbed it from Derek before she said another word. "Just bring her down here…" She said as the door to the gate opened and the harried flight attendant walked through the door, only preceded by the screeching and howling of the little girl in her arms. Her face was bright red, her tiny fists pounding into the flight attendant's chest as she struggled and screamed to get out of her arms.

As soon as she stepped onto the other side of the door, she let the little girl down, watching as she started to run, she reached out to grab her arm as Derek's arm reached down and wrapped his arm around the little girl, scooping her off the ground before she got too far. Her feet stopped kicking as she rolled around in his arms, reaching her own arms up to encircle his neck. "No… don't let them take me…" She sobbed against Derek's neck. "Don't let them take me, Mister Derek… Don't let them take me!" She sobbed as he held her, looking at the perplexed look on the flight attendant's face. "Please… please… I want my mommy… I want my mommy…" She sobbed as she held him tightly around the neck, her fingernails digging deeply into his skin as he let her hold him.

"Listen." Derek said as he pulled out his wallet with one hand as he supported her with his other. He pulled an identification card from his wallet and handed it over to the flight attendant. "I'm a doctor… that's my ID card… see… If… it wouldn't be too much trouble… I can… I can watch her…" He said as he held her tightly as she cried into his shirt. "I've got four sisters… tons of nieces and nephews… I'll just… I'll just walk her around a little and try to calm her down…"

"Sir… we can't let you take her from our custody…" The flight attendant said with a sigh as she reached for the little girl, only to receive a loud, heart racing scream from the little girl as she gripped Derek's skin even tighter.

"NO! NO!" She screamed louder as people stared and watched the entire scene.

"Please… please, the flight doesn't leave for an hour… have security follow me around… I don't care… she's breaking my goddamned heart." Derek said as he repositioned her a little, feeling her arms tighten even more around his neck.

The flight attendant watched him for a moment as he rubbed the little girl's back gently, his eyes tender and sweet as he rocked her back and forth. He was trying so hard to get her to calm down, her tiny body so tightly attached to him, he looked so comfortable holding her. "Let me call a security officer… and we'll see what we can do." She said as she walked toward the desk as Derek followed her. "While I'm at it, I'll secure your seat on the next flight." She said as Derek nodded gratefully and kissed the little girl's head as he tried desperately to calm her heart breaking sobs.

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><p>Derek held the little girl in his arms and rocked her gently as she cried. The flight attendant called security and arranged for a security guard to keep an eye on Derek as he tried to calm the little one in his arms. Derek cradled her softly in his arms as he gently rubbed her back, her breathing slowing, her hand moving to her mouth as her thumb slipped between her lips. Her other hand gripped Derek's shirt tightly as her head rested on his shoulder as her crying slowly stopped.<p>

Derek started out pacing slightly. His feet wearing themselves into the carpet of the waiting area near the gate that they were going to be leaving from. He walked back and forth gently rocking the tiny girl with full knowledge that the security guard in the corner was watching them closely. He began to bounce her just slightly in his arms as she continued to suck her thumb quietly, every now and again letting a sniffle out. He walked and bounced her slightly in his arms, every now and then bouncing just a little higher as he shifted or moved her a bit. After a couple of minutes, the extra little bounce in his step would elicit a small gasp from the little girl, and after the third or fourth one, he was sure that he had heard a slight giggle.

The first time he heard it, he wasn't sure if his ears had deceived him. She was still gripping his shirt quite hard, though she appeared to be slowly releasing it. He bounced again and couldn't miss the high, rippling sound of the little girl's giggle. He did it again and her giggle rang out around her thumb as her head lifted slightly. He gazed into her gray eyes as they narrowed slightly and smiled before her lips moved as he bounced again, her smile following her eyes as her gentle, melodic giggle tickled his ears as he smiled at her. As he smiled, he watched as her eyes sparkled at his and her smile brightened at the sight of his.

"You're being silly…" He said as he bounced again, finally breaking the shy giggle into a full laugh as he bounced again and again, reveling in the sound of her laughter as her thumb fell from her mouth.

"I'm not silly… you're silly…" She said as he bounced again, listening to her laugh once more. Derek stopped for a moment as she watched him, her eyes following his as he gave her a sad smile. "Did you do that to see my teeth again?" She asked, remembering what he had said to her earlier.

"No…" He said as he shook his head gently. "I did it because I like to hear pretty sounds… and your laugh is very pretty."

"Ha ha…" She said as she pretended to laugh.

"Not that laugh… silly…" He shook his head as he bounced her, listening to her real laugh as it danced off her lips. "That one…" He said as she giggled, covering her mouth with her hand as she watched Derek for a moment, leaning forward to rest her head on his shoulder once more as he held her tightly.

Derek sighed slightly as he walked with Zoey, bouncing her now and again as she giggled. He turned toward the newsstand store and walked inside. He turned his head and watched the security guard for a moment as he innocently perused the racks of objects. Zoey lifted her head and looked at the stuffed animals in the racks on the wall and Derek lifted a little pink bear. "He's pink." She pointed out.

"He is…" Derek nodded. "Wouldn't that make it a 'she'?" Derek asked as he realized he was talking to a child, he watched her shrug as she reached for it. "Do you want me to get it for you?" Derek asked as the little girl nodded her head. "Are you sure?" He asked as she nodded her head harder and Derek handed her the bear as they neared the counter.

"I'm going to name her Mister Derek." She said as she nodded her head, holding the bear at arms length, glancing to Derek as she wiped her tear streaked face with her sleeve.

"I thought my name was Mister Derek…"

"Um…" She said as she poked her chin and looked between Derek and the bear and back to Derek. "Um… no… her name is Mister Derek… you can pick a new name."

Derek chuckled at her logic, watching as she smiled proudly at her answer because of his reaction. "A new name, huh?" He asked as she nodded at him. "How about just Derek…" He asked with a shrug.

"Mm…" She said as she poked her chin again, watching his kind eyes as he tilted his head. "Mmmokay…" She nodded as she leaned forward into his shoulder and cuddled her new found bear friend, as Derek walked to the counter to pay for it.

* * *

><p>Derek lifted Zoey to the ground as they stepped out of the store. She held his hand tightly as she gripped her new teddy bear in her other arm. "Mister Derek is hungry." She said softly as she looked up at Derek.<p>

"He is?" Derek said as she looked up at him and sighed. "I mean, she is?" He corrected himself as he smiled down at her. "What would she like to eat?"

"Um…" She sighed as she watched Derek. "A cheeseburger?" She asked as she tilted her head at him.

"A cheeseburger…" Derek repeated as he looked around at the different food vendors in the airport. He checked his watch and walked with her toward the McDonald's down the hallway. "I had no idea that pink bears liked cheeseburgers."

"Little girls likes cheeseburgers too. I'm going to help her eat it." She nodded as Derek chuckled as he stepped up to the counter and ordered the cheeseburger. They walked over to the bright red chairs beside the yellow tables and Derek pulled the chair out for Zoey so that she could climb up onto it as he put the yellow wrapped cheeseburger in front of her. She looked up at Derek and tilted her head. "Aren't you hungry too, Just Derek?" She asked as Derek looked at her for a moment with an amused expression as she unwrapped her cheeseburger.

"What did you call me?" He asked with a laugh.

"Just Derek." She said as she lifted the cheeseburger to her mouth and took a big bite. "That's what you said to call you." She said with a full mouth as she watched him laugh.

"I suppose I did say that." He said as he jumped a little in his chair at the shrill sound of his pager going off on his belt loop. "Darn it…" He said as he pulled the pager off his belt and looked at it.

"You have a peeper!" She exclaimed as she pointed at the pager in his hand.

"A peeper?" He asked, watching the wide eyed expression on her face as she continued to point at it.

"Yes! Mommy had a peeper! And it would go 'peep, peep, peep' and she had to go to the hospital to rescue people."

"Your mommy is a doctor?" Derek asked as he looked at the number on the pager and shook his head with a sigh.

"Mommy was a doctor… she's in heaven now." She said as she took another big bite of her cheeseburger as she watched Derek look up very slowly from his pager.

"Heaven…?" Derek said in a whisper, not connecting everything at once. He was exhausted and as soon as it dawned on him what she meant, he immediately felt bad.

"Yes…" She nodded as she swallowed her mouthful. "Mommy's peeper went off and she went to the hospital and then went to heaven." She said as she watched Derek's Adam's apple bob up and down as he swallowed hard. "How old are you, Just Derek?" She asked, tilting her head as she watched him continue to watch her. "Just Derek?"

"Hm?" Derek muttered as he shook his head for a moment.

"How old are you?" She asked as she changed the subject by just asking the first question that popped into her head.

"Twenty six." Derek replied as he turned his phone on and flipped it open.

"Oh… that's a lot older than me. I'm six… who are you calling?"

"I need to call the hospital… that's what this is for…" He said as he smiled softly and showed her the pager.

"Don't go to heaven, okay?"

"I'll try not to." Derek swallowed hard as he dialed the number on the pager. He watched the little girl as she watched him very closely. "Mark?" Derek said as he sighed. "I'm still in New York and probably will not be around until tonight… can you schedule that for tomorrow afternoon? Thanks… Was that all you needed? Okay… I'll call when I get in… thanks." He said as he sighed, watching as the little girl held her hand out to him. He closed the phone and looked at her curiously. "What?"

"Can I see that?"

"The phone?"

"The peeper." She said, wiggling her fingers as she tried to get him to hand it over.

"Oh, you don't need the silly peeper…" He shook his head as he snapped the pager back on his belt and watched her wiggle her fingers at him.

"No heaven, Peeper!" She said sternly to the inanimate object, wiggling her finger at the pager as she looked up at Derek and smiled, crumpling the paper from her cheeseburger up. "Oops!" She exclaimed.

"What?" Derek asked with a bemused expression.

"I forgot to share my cheeseburger with Mister Derek! He must be so hungry still!" She said as she held the bear up in her arms.

"Why do I get the feeling that you're using him as a scapegoat?" Derek asked flippantly as he chuckled.

"Bear, Just Derek. He's a bear… not a goat." She sighed as she giggled, listening to Derek laugh as they sat together waiting for their flight to be called.

* * *

><p>While sitting together at the table, Derek heard the flight to Seattle being called for boarding. He smiled at his tiny friend and nodded toward the gate. "Are you ready to get on the plane?" He asked as he started to stand up.<p>

"No, thank you." Zoey replied as she played with the bow on her bear's neck.

"No thank you? I thought you wanted to go to Seattle…"

"No. I want to stay here in New York. I like New York." She said sadly as she sighed.

"Alright…" He shrugged as he grabbed his briefcase. "But I have to go to Seattle…I'll see you later…" He shrugged as he started to turn around.

"Wait! Just Derek, where are you going?" She asked as she jumped from the chair and grabbed his hand as she pulled hard on it.

"I have to go to Seattle…" He said as he watched the little girl grip his hand tightly. "You said you didn't want to go…"

"But… but… but… I…" She exclaimed as she started to panic.

"What are you so afraid of?" Derek asked as he crouched down and faced her, looking into her eyes as she bounced in frustration, sighing loudly.

"I don't know my sister…" She shrugged. "My mommy didn't tell me I had a sister… and now I have to go live with her? I don't want to go…" She whimpered. "I don't want to go…can't I stay with you?" She asked as she sighed.

"I don't think you'd like that." Derek said as he reached for her hand as she leaned forward into him.

"Why?" She asked softly.

"Well… um…I snore… and… I'm allergic to dogs… and I like to um…I don't like pink things… " Derek said as he watched the sincere expression on her face.

Her mouth opened wide in shock as she pulled her hand away from him and squeezed her bear tightly. "I thought you said you had pink sparkly shoes!" She exclaimed as she glowered at him.

"I didn't say that I liked them…" Derek replied, trying so hard to keep a straight face.

"Where's your mommy?" She asked as she sighed, rocking the teddy bear in her arms as Derek glanced to the gate, relieved that they hadn't quite started boarding passengers.

"My mommy is in heaven too." Derek replied, watching her eyes widen. "I have four sisters though… but they live here in New York… I live really far away from my family…" He said as he shrugged. "They all live here in New York… I live in Seattle."

"I don't got a family…" Zoey mumbled as she held his hand tightly.

"You have a sister." Derek replied as he leaned forward slightly. "You have a sister, and I'm sure that she loves you… even if she has never met you. You're pretty, and sweet… and come on, you like cheeseburgers…how can someone not love a little girl who loves cheeseburgers. I bet… that your sister is just as nervous about meeting you, as you are meeting her." He said as he reached over and poked her nose lightly with his finger.

"You really think so?" She whispered as she watched the sincerity in Derek's eyes.

"I do…" He nodded as he smiled at her. "I think it might make her sad if you never show up… if you'd rather live here all alone in New York and not go to Seattle to at least meet her." Derek said.

"I have never been on an airplane before." She said quickly as she looked at him nervously.

"Oh, I've been on a million airplanes…" He said, pushing his hand to make it seem like it isn't a big deal.

"A million?" She exclaimed.

"At least!" Derek said as he shrugged. "And since you're staying here in New York, I'm not going to have anyone to talk to on the airplane…" Derek shrugged. "It's going to be so boring…I'll have to eat all of the little pretzels by myself…"

"I'll go! I'll go!" She jumped up and down as she watched Derek's smile appear on his face.

"Well then, we had better hurry… I think they're getting everyone on the plane."

"Then hurry, hurry Just Derek… we have to get to Seattle!" Zoey exclaimed as she pulled his arm, grasping her teddy bear tightly as Derek chuckled and let her pull him along toward the gate for the plane.

* * *

><p>Derek held the little girl's hand as they walked up to the gate. He glanced to the security guard as they walked to the desk. Derek pulled his boarding pass from his pocket and they nodded for him to pass as they accepted Zoey's boarding pass as well.<p>

"It looks like you two are sitting next to one another." The flight attendant said with a smile as Derek nodded slightly.

"She promised to entertain me." Derek said as Zoey held Derek's hand tightly.

"I think you two are going to be troublemakers…" The flight attendant laughed as she followed the two of them down the hallway to the seats that they were assigned. Derek allowed Zoey to slide in to the seat close to the window and he buckled her in as the flight attendant watched on, ensuring that she was happy and comfortable on the flight. "Alright… if she needs anything, Mr. Shepherd, please let me know." She said as she handed Derek Zoey's bag, which he slid beneath the seat in front of her.

"I will." Derek nodded as the flight attendant turned to help other passengers as Derek rested for a moment in his seat. He turned his head to see Zoey staring out the window as the airport people placed the bags into the cargo hold. "What's so exciting out there?" Derek asked as he watched her wide eyes staring out of the small window.

"What are they doing?" She asked, looking up at Derek and then out the window again.

"They're losing luggage." Derek said as he watched them drop a bag onto the ground and then swing it back up and slam it onto the top of the pile. "Probably breaking stuff…"

"Huh?" She asked as she turned her head.

"They're putting the bags in the plane so that everyone will have their clothes when they get to Seattle." Derek explained.

"Oh." She nodded as she continued to watch, pulling her bear tighter into her arms.

Derek chuckled as she watched, her eyes entranced on the actions of the workers. He turned his head and closed his eyes, leaning his head back on the seat, he rested for a moment. He sat there for several minutes, his eyes closed as he suddenly felt like he was being stared at. He turned his head slowly and watched Zoey for a moment as her eyes stared not at his face, but at his side. Her eyes moved up to his eyes and she looked away quickly. "What is it?" He asked as she continued to look out the window, holding her bear tighter.

"Nothing." She whimpered as she now stared at her reflection in the window, seeing Derek's eyes looking directly at her.

"Come on… you can tell me… what's wrong? Are you worried about the plane?" He asked, fairly sure that it wasn't what she was thinking.

"No." She replied in a soft voice, her fingers running over the bear's soft pink fur.

"Were you looking at my pager?" He asked as she continued to stare out the window. She didn't answer him, but could feel him watching her. After a few moments, she nodded slowly. "Hey… what are you so worried about?"

"Peepers are bad." She whispered as she turned her eyes to Derek. Her gray eyes were soulful and concerned, her voice was whispery and anxious as her eyes moved to the pager and then back up to Derek's eyes. "They're very bad." She said as she swallowed hard.

"Do you want me to put it away?" He asked, watching her eyes close tightly and look up at him again, she opened her mouth and then closed it quickly as she shook her head.

"No… no, it's okay." She said as she gave him a quick smile.

"I can put it away if you want me to."

"No, just don't go to heaven." She whispered.

"You're really going to have to stop it with that… it's creepy." Derek admitted as the little girl smirked at him. "I'm not going to heaven… I promise."

"If your mommy is in heaven, and my mommy is in heaven… do you think they know that is who they are?"

"You want to know if my mom would meet your mom in heaven?" Derek asked, surprised by her question as he watched her nod. "I think they might… your mommy was a doctor, right?"

"Uh huh…" She nodded.

"My mom was a nurse… see… I bet they met in heaven…"

"Miss Rory says she is watching me from heaven… do you think she can see me in this airplane?"

"Oh, I bet she can… I bet she can see you everywhere you go."

"That's weird." She said as she gave Derek a humored smile. "So she can see me when I'm sleeping…"

"And when you're awake… she knows you've been… wait… that's Santa…" Derek muttered to himself as he listened to the little girl giggle. He turned his head and smiled softly at her as he reached a hand out and touched the top of her head. "Don't you worry about it, alright? We're going to get you to Seattle… and you're going to have tons of fun with your sister… you won't even remember being sad."

"Will you remember me?" She asked, her grip loosening on the teddy bear as she watched Derek smile tenderly.

"How can I forget a face like that?" He asked as he watched her blush and smile shyly, tilting her head as she giggled. They looked up as the safety announcement began, and they prepared for the plane to take flight.

* * *

><p>When the safety demonstration was over, Zoey glanced to Derek and sighed. "Why did they show us those mask things?" She asked as she put her hand over her mouth and pointed at the flight attendant.<p>

"Just in case something happens with the plane…" Derek muttered tiredly, not thinking about what he was saying.

"Just in case something happens with the plane!" She exclaimed as she opened her mouth wide. "I have to go…" She said as she pulled at the seatbelt across her lap.

"Oh, no… you're not going anywhere…" Derek said as he put his hand on the buckle. "Nothing bad is going to happen…"

"It could!"

"But it won't… I promise." Derek nodded.

"We could fall and get boo boos." She said as she sighed.

"No one is going to fall." Derek reassured as he shook his head and laughed at her.

"You promise…"

"I promise…" Derek said as suddenly, the plane started to move.

"Oh my gosh! The plane is moving!" She exclaimed as she looked out the window, a small smile finding its way to her lips as she trembled in excitement.

"Well, that's how we are going to fly… we have to move if we want to get there…" Derek shrugged. "Now you have to hold on and not be nervous… because the plane will know if you're scared…" Derek said with a laugh as he watched the little girl give him a confused look.

"The plane doesn't know I'm scared…"

"Now it does! You just told it!" Derek said as she covered her mouth with her hand and giggled. "Now what happens?" She asked as they started to roll down the runway.

"Now… it's going to go really, really fast… and you're going to feel it push you against your seat a little and it's going lift up!" Derek exclaimed excitedly as he watched her listen to him.

"Like this?" She asked as she held her teddy bear in front of her and lifted him off quickly, flying him around in front of her for a moment as she looked up at Derek.

"Yep, just like that…" Derek said as he chuckled. "Though I'm not sure how much the plane's pink bow drags on the ground." He said as he listened to the little girl's giggle.

"The plane has a pink bow?" She asked excitedly, teasing Derek as she watched him laugh, shaking his head. Suddenly, the plane started to pick up speed, rolling quickly down the runway as Zoey's mouth widened in surprise, followed by her closing her eyes and gritting her teeth as the plane finally lifted, pushing them smoothly into the air. Her eyes remained tightly closed as she hugged her teddy bear tightly.

"You can open your eyes now." Derek whispered as he watched one eye open, looking directly at him. "We're in the air now… you can open your eyes."

"I'm still here?" She whispered.

"You're still here."

"No booboos?"

"Nope." Derek replied as he watched her open her other eye, her face turning for the window, she leaned forward and looked out. He watched her stare out the window for a long while as she held her bear close to her, straining to see out the window. The plane lifted into the clouds and after a moment, the seatbelt sign made a noise.

"Oh! Oh my gosh!" Zoey exclaimed.

"That's just the seatbelt sign…" He laughed as the intercom announced that they were at cruising altitude. He watched Zoey relax and sit back, her eyes periodically looking out the window.

She turned her head toward Derek and smiled. "Are we there yet?" She asked, a smile spreading over her face as Derek laughed out loud.

* * *

><p>"…And then we went to the zoo… and there were lots of animals at the zoo but they were pretty tired and warm. Mommy said that they don't like to come out when its warm so they always go inside and cool off. The zoo was fun because it has a swing set and a jungle gym and a spray splash place where you can put your bathing suit on and go splash in the water. Mommy always said that young ladies shouldn't splash in the water, but there was one time where she let me do it because it was my birthday. We invited all of my friends from daycare to go to the zoo. There was Ralph and Martha and Sarah… we went to the zoo and splashed in the water in our bathing suits and had a real good time… have you ever done that before, Just Derek? Have you ever been to the zoo there before? Did you splash in the…" Zoey stopped talking as she looked over at Derek. His head was back slightly and his mouth was wide open as he sit up sleeping. His eyes were closed and he was snoring softly as he snorted slightly and shifted. She watched him for a moment and sighed as she turned her face toward the window.<p>

She turned her face back at Derek and noticed his cell phone in the front pocket of his brief case sticking out. She reached for her waist and carefully unbuckled her seatbelt as she climbed to the floor and grabbed the blue phone from its hiding spot. She turned and climbed back into her seat, watching Derek carefully as she smiled and flipped open his phone. She pushed a button or two, playing with the lighted numbers as she glanced to Derek every now and again. "Hi, this is Zoey Grey calling… get me a operatey room now…" She giggled as she glanced to Derek and played with the phone a little more.

One or two more button pushes and she found the camera on the phone, snapping pictures of various things unknowingly, she giggled as she saw Derek's snoring face, a bit of drool sliding down his chin through the little viewfinder as she pushed the button to hear the little click. "Silly, Just Derek…" She giggled as Derek snorted loudly again, making her jump slightly as she flipped the phone closed. She slid off the seat and pushed the phone into his briefcase as she watched his eyes slowly open. He shifted slightly and lifted his face up, wiping the drool from his chin with the back of his hand he found himself looking into the eyes of a very guilty looking six year old.

"Hi!" She exclaimed happily beside him as she wiggled her fingers in a tiny wave.

"What are you up to?" He asked in a gruff, playful voice as he cleared his throat.

"Nothin'." She said as she smiled and climbed back up into her seat, turned around and buckled her seatbelt.

"Why don't I believe you?" Derek asked as he looked around to see if anything had been moved.

"I dunno…" She shrugged as she held her teddy in her arms. "Did you have a nice nappy?" She asked as she tilted her head with a sweet smile.

"Yes… thank you for asking…" He said as he continued to look at her with a scrutinizing look. "You're a slippery little one, aren't you?"

"I'm a sweet princess, Just Derek… that's all I am." She shrugged as she yawned.

"You're getting sleepy…" Derek pointed out as she shook her head, trying to deny it. "Oh yes you are…" He said as she shook her head.

"No, you're sleepy…" She said as she pointed at him.

"I bet if you lay your head down on me right now, you'll be asleep in five minutes…"

"Nope…" She giggled.

"Well, I dare you to try…" Derek said as he reached over and poked the tiny nose as she crossed her eyes to see his finger, giggling.

"Okay…" She said as she yawned again, leaning her head down slightly, she rested her golden locks into his side as she tucked her tiny hand under her cheek and closed her eyes. Derek wasn't very surprised… and he was wrong about the five minutes, because as soon as her eyes closed, within two minutes, she was already dreaming peacefully.

"There's nothing quite like making a deal with the devil…" Derek said with a chuckle as he gently rubbed the little girl's arm as he comforted her in her sleep.

* * *

><p>Derek rested with the tiny girl pressed against his side. He found his finger running through her long blonde hair as he watched her sleep peacefully against him. The thought occurred to him that he didn't even know who this tiny little girl was, and that the connection she had made to him was almost magical. One minute, he was watching this withdrawn, sad, absolutely precious little girl sitting alone in the airport, and now she was pressed up against him, holding him as if he were the only thing keeping her together. He has nieces and nephews, and he loves each and every one of them. He had spent time with them, played with them, talked with them, seen them grow, learn, and love. He had been their uncle and their friend. However, he had never had this chest tightening feeling every time his name was uttered from their lips. Perhaps he felt bad for this little girl with the gray eyes and pink sparkly shoes, perhaps that was all it was. Perhaps he felt connected to her because he too felt so alone and withdrawn. Perhaps it was because she was just so concentrated on those pink sparkly shoes that she looked like she needed someone to tell her story to, just like any adult would. But it could be just her voice, her sweet angelic voice and how she would look at him and smile and her smile would light his own face up, would warm his heart like nothing ever had. She certainly was a special little girl, and her situation broke his heart.<p>

"Just Derek?" A tiny voice emitted from his side as he leaned forward to see her gray eyes staring up at him.

"Hmm?" He asked softly as he watched her sigh a little.

"What happens if I get to Seattle and I'm scared?" She whimpered as she watched him. "What happens if there isn't anyone to read me a story?" She asked as she sat up a little. "What happens if there's no one to get me a cup of water in the middle of the night… what happens if my sister doesn't like me… where do I go? I want to go home." She whimpered as her lip began to tremble.

"You mean you've been laying here, comfy and safe and you've been worrying all this time?" He asked, watching her lip stick out a little more as she nodded. "You don't have anything to worry about." Derek said softly as he watched her sigh as a tear escaped her eye. "I'll be in Seattle… I'm your friend, right?"

"Uh huh…" She nodded.

"Maybe we can get together sometime with your sister… go to the zoo… I can check on Mister Derek here…" He nodded toward the bear.

"I would like that." She smiled as she wiped her tears.

"Why do you like me so much?" Derek asked as she watched his eyes carefully, a small smile spreading over her lips.

"Cuz you're nice… and you… you rescued me…" She said with a giggle as she snuggled her bear. "And you got me my favorite bear…"

"You know… I'm sure that your doll is feeling very jealous right about now, hearing you tell that bear you love her so much."

"Oh, Molly is okay with it… she can share." The little girl giggled. "Mommy said that I've had Molly since I was a little baby."

"Well, Molly is a very special doll then, so don't you go and replace her with that ole Mister Derek." He said as he listened to the little girl giggle.

"Mister Derek is going to be a very good friend to me." She said as she cuddled her head into him and rested.

It wasn't long after she had woken up before the flight attendant announced over the intercom that the plane would be landing shortly. Zoey sat up and watched out the window as the plane glided delicately over the sun rising sky as morning broke in Seattle. She was sleepy, as it were early afternoon in New York City, but the sunshine sliding delicately through the windows of the plane draped them in pinks, oranges and purples of the early morning. "Aren't you sleepy?" Derek asked as the little girl looked up into his eyes for a moment, her head turning to face the clouds they were descending into.

"No." She replied as she cuddled his arm a little. "I don't want to be asleep when you have to say goodbye." She smiled as he shook his head and watched her continue to stare out the window as the plane slipped through the clouds and drifted down toward the runway and Seattle, where the two strangers would part ways.

* * *

><p>Zoey grabbed hold of Derek's arm and closed her eyes tightly as the plane landed. She squeezed him tightly as he held her securely beside him and reassured her that it would be fine. As the plane slowed and her eyes opened just slightly, she glanced to Derek. "I made it!" She said with a laugh as Derek laughed at how excited she was for surviving the whole plane trip. "Wowee, we made it!" She said happily as she released Derek's arm and smiled as she hugged her teddy bear closely. "We made it, Just Derek… did you see that?"<p>

"I did…" Derek chuckled. "We made it…" he said as the plane slowed by the gate and stopped as the lights turned on and everyone started to move around.

"What do we do now? What do we do now? Do I get off the plane now? Am I going to meet my sister now? I'm scared, Just Derek… I'm very scared… What if she doesn't like me? What if she…"

"For such a tiny little girl, you sure do have a ton of worries." Derek teased as he touched her hand. "Just relax… and be you… and don't worry… your sister is going to love you." Derek said as he felt a pang of sadness in his heart at the worried tone in the little girl's voice and the way that she clung to him.

"Zoey." The flight attendant said as she looked over at the little girl before they opened the door of the plane. "You stay seated and we'll bring you to your sister." She nodded as the little girl glanced to Derek. "Mr. Shepherd, you can go if you'd like."

"Actually… if you don't mind, I'll walk with you and Zoey to her sister." He said as the flight attendant smiled.

"You've really gone above and beyond, sir."

"Well, she's made a pretty bad situation into something much better… and I'd like to say goodbye properly." He said as she nodded and turned as they opened the door of the plane and the other passengers left the plane.

They sat and watched as the passengers walked past them on their way out of the plane, and after a moment, Derek felt a tiny hand beside him as it grabbed hold of his sleeve and pulled as a tiny butt deposited itself in his lap. She looked up at him and smiled as she grinned at him, her grey eyes shining happily as she leaned her head on his chest as they waited together. "You're a little flirt, you know that?"

"I don't even know what that means…" She shrugged as she shook her head, her smile soft and sweet as they waited for all of the other passengers to walk off the plane. As the last passenger passed them, Derek lifted the little girl up and stood before his seat as he grabbed his briefcase and her bag in one hand. She smiled as she held onto his shirt, leaning her head on his shoulder as he stepped into the aisle. The flight attendant smiled at the two of them as Derek walked forward in the plane and she walked out in front of them as Derek held her securely in his arms.

"Her sister should be at the gate waiting for her." She said softly as Derek nodded, walking down the hallway slowly as he didn't think he was quite ready to let go of his tiny friend just yet. Zoey held Derek tightly as they stepped through the door, the crowded airport was filled with people waiting for their chance to board the plane to its next destination and the flight attendant stepped up to the counter and talked to one of the women behind it as Derek held tightly to the little girl in his arms. Derek watched as she looked up at a young woman sitting in one of the chairs who stood up as soon as they stepped off the plane and glanced to the flight attendant as the woman at the counter pointed toward her. The flight attendant nodded and signed a form as she glanced back to Derek as Zoey wrapped her arms around his neck, holding him tightly.

"Don't let me go, Just Derek." She whispered into his ear. "I'm not ready yet."

"I'm not ready either…" Derek whispered back as he held her tightly as he continued to watch the exchange as the young woman stepped to the counter. The flight attendant talked with her for a moment and Derek watched her carefully. She was of average height, thin with short, dark hair. She looked nothing like the little girl and he hoped for just a moment that her sister hadn't showed up, that this woman was there waiting for someone else. "What am I thinking?" He whispered out loud as he tried to figure out what exactly he was hoping for and why he would be thinking such things. "Your sister is here, Zoey…" He whispered as they started to walk over toward them. "She looks nice…" He said softly.

"Mr. Shepherd, This is Lexie Grey… Zoey's sister." She said as she introduced Derek to the woman who was standing before them. "Zoey?"

"I don't want to go." She whimpered.

Lexie looked very confused as to why the little girl was holding onto the man before her. He looked like just a run of the mill passenger, and she was supposed to be traveling alone. "She's a little nervous." Derek spoke up as he held out his hand. "I'm Derek Shepherd." He said as he held his hand out and shook Lexie's hand. The flight attendant turned and walked away, saying goodbye to allow Lexie to take her sister into custody. "I'm very sorry to hear about your mother's death." Derek said softly as the young woman nodded.

"She actually isn't my mother." Lexie replied a bit coldly. "Zoey is only my… half… sister." She paused as she said it quickly as she tried to pull the little girl from Derek's arms. "Let's go, Zoey…" She said sternly as she tugged her again.

"No!" Zoey exclaimed as she squealed loudly, gripping Derek's shirt tightly as he watched the desperate look in her eyes.

"Zoey…" Derek said softly as he glanced to Lexie, who released her and watched as Derek looked at the little girl lovingly. "Hey…"

"Mr. Shepherd, I really appreciate you making sure that she got here alright." Lexie said quickly as she tried to figure out how she'd disconnect the little girl from the man's neck. "Come on Zoey… we're going to have a lot of fun… I can show you your new room… and I have some people that are really interested in meeting you…"

"I don't want to meet no one…" Zoey said stubbornly as she gripped Derek harder.

"Zoey…" Derek said softly as he pulled her fingertips from his skin and shirt as he crouched down, placing her feet on the ground as she tried to pull them back up, attempting to wrap them around him and climb back into his arms. "Come on… come on, let go… it's alright… it's alright…" He said soothingly as finally, the little girl relented and stood on her own, letting Derek crouch before her.

"No… please… please…" She stomped her feet as he watched tears roll down her cheeks. "Please… please…" She hiccupped as he shook his head, trying to keep his own tears from falling.

"Look… look at me, Zoey… look at me…" he said softly as he looked up at Lexie, who appeared to be losing her patience. She smiled a quick smile, and Derek could feel the uncomfortable air about her. He chocked it up to her picking up a child who had never met her before, a scared and lonely child, and for a split second wondered if she had any idea how to handle the tiny soul. "Look at me… this is your sister, Lexie… see… she looks friendly and nice… and I'm sure she's going to take very good care of you…" he said softly as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a business card. He looked up at Lexie and handed one to her. "Here…" He said softly. "This is my card… if she's lonely or something… if she needs anything…please, please call me…" Derek said as she reluctantly took the card. He carefully set Zoey's bag down onto the floor and slipped a card into her bag without either girl's noticing as he turned it around and held out the strap. "Here… put your backpack on… you don't want to lose Molly…" He said softly as he watched her nod and hold her hand out as she sniffled and whimpered.

"Mister Derek is going to miss you." She whimpered as she reached out and held the bear to Derek.

"I'm going to miss Mister Derek… in all her pink and fuzziness…" Derek said as he kissed the bear on top of its head.

"I thought you didn't like pink." She sniffled.

"What can I say… you've changed my mind." Derek winked. "Now you be a good girl… And don't you forget me…" He said with a half smile.

"I won't…" she whimpered. "Can I tell you a secret?" She whispered as she held her finger out and beckoned him closer.

"Of course…" he whispered as he leaned in. With that split second, she leaned in to whisper in his ear and instead left a sweet, soft peck on his cheek. "I love you, Just Derek." She said with a smile, tilting her head as she smiled such a sad, solemn smile. "Please don't go to heaven." She whispered.

"I love you too, little princess." Derek whispered. "And I promise." He said as she looked up at Lexie and swallowed hard.

"Bye…" She said as she wiped her eye and held her bear tightly.

"See you later, alligator." He said as he winked, her soft giggle tickling his ears one more time before she reluctantly took Lexie's hand and let her lead her away from Derek, periodically turning to see him still crouching where she had left him, waving sadly at her with a lone tear rolling down his cheek. 

* * *

><p>Derek brushed away the tear that had made his way down his cheek after Zoey had long since disappeared down the terminal hallway. He swallowed hard as he grabbed his briefcase and bow his head as he walked through the airport like a zombie, making his way down the crowded hallway as he walked toward the baggage claim. He got to baggage claim and after a good half hour of waiting, he grabbed his bag and made his way to his car. He walked through the dimly lit garage, his heart heavy and sad as he tried to shake off the feeling of dread that was invading his every step. He stepped up to his dark colored car, sitting alone between two empty parking spaces and he sighed heavily. He pushed the button on his key, sending the trunk lid opening quickly as he swung his bag hard into the back of the car. He lifted his briefcase up and reached into the front pocket to grab his phone as he tossed the briefcase into the trunk as well and slammed it closed.<p>

He pressed the button for the lock of his car, hearing the beep from it as he swung open the door and slumped inside the car. He slammed the door closed and sat, staring out of the windshield for a few moments, his mind whirling and spinning as he tried to ward off the heavy feeling in his heart, mind and soul. His stomach was twisting in knots as Zoey's cries echoed in his head, that feeling of dread still refusing to leave his mind as he tried to focus on the task at hand.

He flipped open his phone, giving it a strange look as he noticed that it was on already, fairly sure that he had turned it off before the flight, he shrugged it off as he dialed a familiar number.

"Sloan." The voice was gruff on the other end of the line as Derek sighed.

"You're still at my house, aren't you?"

"You needed a house sitter…" Mark said with a sigh.

"No… I needed you to check on it once in a while… I didn't need a lazy ass surgeon using it as a bachelor pad." Derek said into the line, his voice coming through as angrier than he had intended.

"Geez… Airport food must not be agreeing with you… what's your problem?"

"You're there with a woman, aren't you?"

"Derek… now why would I…?"

"Please get her out before I get home… I just got into the car… I'm leaving in a minute."

"Hey, you're not really pissed off because I stayed at your place this week, are you? Your place is so much better than…"

"Mark… I don't really give a shit… I'll see you in a half hour." Derek said as he pressed the button on his phone. As he did that, he noticed that the picture on his phone had changed and instead of just the blank blue background that he usually had, there was an extreme close up of a very familiar pink bear. "What is…?" He mumbled as he found himself smiling slightly, shaking his head as he maneuvered his attention to the other pictures on his camera. He smiled brighter with each one. Along with the picture of the teddy bear, he found a picture of a pair of familiar pink sparkly shoes, a picture of a tray table. He chuckled when he saw the picture of himself sleeping as he shook his head. "Sneaky, sneaky…" He chuckled as he switched to the last picture, a perfect shot of a certain little girl smiled back at him. Her eyes held a sparkle of innocent mischief as he felt the lump in his throat growing. "You little thief." He whispered as he looked at the picture of the little girl. "You stole my heart." He whispered as he began to cry softly.


	2. The Bad Feeling

Lexie drove in silence as the little girl continued to stare out the window, her eyes sad and her sigh soft and withdrawn. "Aren't you excited?" Lexie asked, trying to sound happy as the little girl shrugged. "Oh, come on… you're going to have fun." She said as the little girl continued to remain quiet. The silence in the back seat was suddenly broken by the shrill beeping of something within Zoey's bag. "What is that sound?" Lexie asked, glancing back at the little girl, whose eyebrows raised at the sound. "Zoey?"

"That's Just Derek's peeper…" She said as she swallowed hard. "Now he can't go to heaven." She whispered, as she felt herself start to cry, letting the tears she had been holding back slide delicately down her tiny cheeks. 

* * *

><p>Lexie pulled into the driveway of the townhouse and parked the car as Zoey wiggled in her seat. "Is this where I live now?"<p>

"Yes." Lexie said, not explaining any further as she climbed out of the car and opened the back door. "Hold my hand." She said sternly as she watched the little girl gingerly take her hand as she pulled on it to help her out.

"Ow… don't pull…" She whimpered as Lexie rolled her eyes and grabbed the little girl's backpack from the back seat, every now and then the screech of the pager could be heard.

"Why did you steal that man's pager? Why would you do something so stupid?" Lexie asked as she pulled the little girl with her as she headed toward the door. "It was so stupid…"

"I… but… but he… I…"

"Just hush… you have to be quiet in the house. No screaming, no yelling, no running… and I don't like crybabies…" She muttered as she opened the front door and walked inside, letting the little girl's hand go. She walked into the house and was immediately stopped by Lexie's voice. "Stop." She said as she reached and turned the little girl around. "I'm going to show you up to your room and around the house. There are certain rules in this house and I expect them to be followed. Do you understand?" She asked, watching the little girl stare into her eyes nervously. "Did you hear me?"

"Yes." She whimpered.

"What did I say about cry babies?"

"I'm sorry…" She whimpered.

"Quiet." Lexie growled. "You are only allowed to play in your room… no toys are allowed in any other room of the house, and when my boyfriend comes over, you will stay in your room and if you don't behave, you'll be locked inside." Lexie said as she took her hand and led her upstairs. She stood at the top of the stairs with the little girl and pointed down the hallway to the last room. "That room right there… with the green door… it is off limits… you are absolutely, positively never allowed to go in there. If you're caught in there, you'll be punished." She said as she turned and opened a door. They walked into the tiny room with the little bed and a doll lying on the bed. The rest of the room was empty, if you could call it a room, it had some of the qualities of a closet and the lack of a window only confirmed that idea. "This is your room." She said as she dropped the little girl's bag on the bed. "The bathroom is the next room over… do you have any questions?"

"Um… no." She whimpered as she held her bear tightly in her arms as she pushed the little girl lightly into the room. "Make yourself comfortable." She said as she turned and left the little girl alone in the room, closed the door behind her and walked down the stairs. 

* * *

><p>Derek pulled into the driveway of his house, rolling his eyes as he noted the car in the driveway, he parked beside it and climbed out. He opened the trunk and pulled out his suitcase and his briefcase and made his way toward the front door. Just as he was about to put the key in the lock, the door opened. "Welcome home!" Mark exclaimed as Derek scowled and pushed past him. "Someone has their panties in a bunch."<p>

"Quiet, Mark… did you tell her to leave?"

"She left about ten minutes ago… what's your problem?" He asked as he watched the concentrated look on his friend's face.

"I just have a lot on my mind…" Derek muttered as he pulled his phone out of his pocket and set it on the table by the stairs, put his briefcase down and reached for his. "Where's my peeper?" He asked out loud, subconsciously. He didn't even notice the strange look Mark had given him.

"What?"

"My peeper… it was on my… it was on my waist, and now it's gone."

"Your peeper? Man… they have medicine for that, you know… most people stop calling their penis by pet names when they're twelve…"

Derek scowled at his friend. "Oh, give me a break, Mark… first… you know that I'm looking for my pager… and second of all… you have had a pet name for your penis for years… I mean… give me a break, just a couple of weeks ago you said th…"

"Alright… alright, I get it… you're in a shitty mood… you're in a shitty mood and you're going to take it out on everyone you possibly can."

"Mostly you, it's rude to take it out on patients…"

"How was your trip?"

"It was just as much fun as any trip to New York for a consult can be…"

"You took the week off so that you could shake off this stupid depression… so she said no… so you built a huge freaking house, you asked the girl you thought was the 'one'… to marry you and she said no and broke your heart… it's about freaking time you got over it."

"Mark…" Derek sighed. "Just get your crap out of my house…"

"Why?" Mark asked as he watched Derek look through his briefcase.

"Because I need to get everything out so that I can sell it."

"Sell it? You're kidding, right? You just built it, and now you want to sell it?"

"I have to sell it, Mark. I'm not going to live in a six bedroom house by myself…I need to move on."

"Come on, Derek…"

"Mark… just… nevermind…" Derek grunted as he walked quickly through the house with his suitcase and his briefcase as he made his way up the stairs. Just as he reached the top, his phone rang. He grabbed the phone from his pocket and flipped it open. "Shepherd…" He muttered into the line as he sighed.

"Mister Shepherd, This is Lexie Grey."

"Lexie." Derek sighed as he thought of his small cherubic faced friend.

"It appears that Zoey stole your pager."

"Oh, thank goodness I didn't lose it…"

"Do you need it this evening, or…"

"Actually, I probably won't need it until tomorrow… would you be able to bring it to Seattle Grace Hospital… you're in the city, right?"

"Um… um… yeah, I can do that." Lexie said as she nodded.

"Alright… how about two in the afternoon… it'll give me time to settle in at work… and you can drop it off on the second floor… I'd like to see Zoey."

"Oh." Lexie said with a sigh. "Fine, then. Tomorrow at two. Bye." She said as she hung up, before Derek could say another word. He paused for a moment as he stared at his phone, the knot in his stomach tightening even more.

* * *

><p>Zoey sat on the bed in her new bedroom, her eyes downcast and withdrawn as she swallowed hard and tried not to cry. "No crybabies…" She whispered to herself as she tried to remain strong. "No crybabies…" She lifted her head when she thought she heard someone out in the hall, but quickly dipped her head back down. She lifted her teddy bear into hear arms and looked into its dark colored eyes and its friendly smile.<p>

"Mister Derek." She whispered to the bear. "I'm scared." She whimpered. "I don't think she likes me… I think Just Derek was wrong…" She shook her head. She lifted her bag up onto her bed and glanced toward the door as she slowly unzipped its contents. She pulled Molly from within the bag and placed her on the bed, putting Mister Derek beside her as she reached into the bag again and pulled a small picture frame.

In the frame was a picture of her mother, holding her tenderly in her arms when she was just a few hours old. Her mother was so young in the picture, so young and innocent, and it didn't look possible for her to be the same person that had held her in her arms just three weeks earlier. She held back her tears as she stared at the picture, sniffling slightly as she tried to form a word. "Mommy…" She whimpered as she felt a tear roll down her cheek. "Mommy… please… please come get me… please…" She whimpered as she watched a teardrop fall tenderly down, splattering on the glass of the picture. "Please, mommy…" She sniffled. 

* * *

><p>Derek walked up into his bedroom and tossed his suitcase on the bed. He tossed his briefcase atop it and he sighed as he listened to the sound of Mark's car making its way down the driveway. "Great… not only am I an asshole, but I'm pushing away the only person that will talk to me." Derek grumbled as he lay down on the bed for a moment. He pulled his cell phone from his pocket and flipped it open, pushing buttons to find the one with the gray eyed little girl. "I hope you're doing better than I am." Derek whispered as he smiled sadly and flipped the phone closed, resting it on his chest as he drifted off to sleep.<p>

* * *

><p>Zoey sat in her bedroom, her tummy growling loudly as she stared at the wall across from her bed. She was trembling as she lay there, the sounds of bumps and booms coming from downstairs kept her from venturing out into the hallway. Lexie had given her a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for dinner with a cup of water and that was it. She listened as her tummy growled again, wincing at the pain in her stomach as she sat up slightly in the bed.<p>

She could hear the sound of thunder outside, though the bedroom didn't have a window, she was thankful that she couldn't see the lightning. Thunderstorms had always given her a stomach ache, always given her a queasy feeling, and her mother had always been there to comfort her. She tiptoed to the door and listened carefully, hearing the sound of two people downstairs talking, she figured that one of them was Lexie's boyfriend. Lexie had talked about her boyfriend, Joe, and told Zoey that he didn't really like kids all that much, that he wasn't pleased that Lexie had to take care of her. She told Zoey that the best thing she could do would be to stay out of his way.

Zoey trembled at the thought of a person who could sound so mean and heartless. She opened the door slowly and listened again. Her foot had just touched the floor of the hallway when a crash of thunder startled her, making her squeal loudly as she ran back into the room and slammed the door. She covered her mouth with her hand, absolutely frightened that she had made her presence known as she listened to hear the sound of pounding feet on the stairs. It only took a moment for the door to be swung open, sending Zoey running to the other side of the room. She leapt onto the bed and covered herself with her blankets as she heard Lexie's angry voice invade the room.

"What the hell is your problem?" She exclaimed as she stepped into the room, watching the blanket on the bed tremble with fear. "What did I say about screaming?" She exclaimed as she stepped over to the bed as she pulled the blanket off Zoey and threw it to the ground, she watched the little girl cower in the corner as she trembled. "Cut it out right now, you little shit… I'm serious. I'll just as soon send you to live on the streets than have you mess with my life, do you understand?" She asked as she kicked the bed, sending the girl into a high squeal. "Did you hear me?"

"Yes…" She whimpered. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry…"

"You damned well better be…"

"I want my mommy…" She whimpered.

"Your mommy is dead, Zoey… I'm your mommy now." Lexie growled.

"No…" She whimpered as she shook her head into her arms.

"Well, it's true… there's no one else that wants to take care of you, so I guess I'm stuck… now stay in this room and be quiet. If I hear another word out of you, there is no way that I am taking you to see Derek." She growled as Zoey's eyes looked up at her at the sound of Derek's name as she growled down at her. "I am serious." She snapped.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry… I'll be good, I promise…" She whimpered. "I'm sorry…" She said as she tried to hold back her tears as.

"Now be quiet and go to sleep." Lexie muttered as she turned and stepped out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

Zoey gasped as she tried to hold back the tears, trying to be brave as she closed her eyes and took a deep breath, relaxing her body slightly as she listened to the pounding thunderstorm. She swallowed hard as she slid to the floor, tiptoeing gently for the door, she listened against it as she heard Lexie pound down the stairs. She breathed a sigh of relief as she reached for the doorknob again.

She very slowly opened the door, keeping her hand over her mouth as she cringed at each flash of lightning and rumble of thunder. She wanted to get out of the house, she needed to find someplace that didn't make her tremble. She needed to find something to eat. She listened to Lexie's obnoxious laugh downstairs and knew she was safe as she took another step out of the room, turning to close the door very carefully, she listened to the sound of the rain pouring down on the roof as she looked toward the stairs, and her eyes shifted to the green door at the end of the hallway.

She could hear Lexie's voice in her head, telling her that if she went in there that she'd be punished, but at the same time she thought that if Lexie didn't want her, and she went into that room, she'd probably get rid of her… send her somewhere else, maybe leave her with Derek.

She took a step forward toward the room.

She would rather live with a stranger than stay with Lexie one more moment.

She took another step.

Derek wouldn't hurt her, yell at her, he gave her a cheeseburger, he gave her Mister Derek, he held her when she cried.

She took three more steps toward the room as she reached the green door, she swung it open quickly and her jaw dropped immediately. She wanted to run, but she couldn't run. She wanted to scream, but it wouldn't come. She wanted to step into the room, but she couldn't move. Her eyes widened as she found herself walking into the room almost involuntarily, her eyes never leaving the figure lying in the bed within the room.

She swallowed hard as she looked around the room, bags of fluids hung from the side of the bed as tubes disappeared beneath the woman's blankets. She was young and frail, blonde and in the eyes of the young child, she was beautiful.

"Hello?" Zoey whispered to the young woman, whose eyes were closed as if she were sleeping soundly. She seemed thin and delicate, and she made no movement, she didn't flinch when the lightning flashed or the thunder boomed. "Hello? Are you sleeping?" She whispered to the young woman.

* * *

><p>Derek sat up quickly in bed, his pulse was racing, his mouth dry as he stared into the darkness of the room. He was alone, as he had been every night since his girlfriend, Rachel had left. She was a selfish woman, an attractive woman, but a selfish woman, and Derek thought he could look over that fact. He had met her at a hospital function, she worked in the finance department at the hospital and she was just starting there as well. She was a little older than Derek, a bit more experienced in many ways, and as he reminded himself time and again, selfish.<p>

His first indication should have been that Mark didn't like her very much. He thought her attitude was stuffy, her voice grated on his nerves, and she chewed gum. If there was anything in this world that Mark Sloan hated, it was a habitual gum chewer. Mark tried to convince Derek that she must have been a smoker, because anyone who chewed that much gum has to have a very unhealthy oral fixation. Derek claimed that there was nothing unhealthy about her fixation.

He had fallen in love with her quickly, in his first year as an intern. He was now starting his third year residency and was finding it very difficult to not think about her any longer. He had taken a two week vacation to cool off, relax, find some semblance of normalcy in his hectic life. He had spent one of the weeks sulking alone at home, the only people that visited him were people from the hospital including Mark and the occasional nurse from the hospital that he'd bring over for dinner and dessert, leaving Derek alone and sulking in front of the television. It was after the first week that he received a phone call from one of his sisters.

His youngest sister was in the hospital the last time that he had been at home, giving birth to their fourth child, and Derek hadn't had a chance to see much of her. She invited him over for the week, promising him that he could see everyone, rest, relax and receive little sympathy if needed. He had laughed at his sister's offer, the lack of sympathy was what he needed, he needed to stop feeling sorry for himself, so he had traveled to New York and visited his family. He had found love and happiness within the walls of his sister's house, and they had talked him through the breakup and came to the conclusion that Rachel was nothing but a bitchy old hag who wanted nothing more to jump his bones and wear him so thin that he disappeared. (Their words, not his.)

Derek sighed as he rolled onto his side, surprised and happy that Rachel wasn't the thought on his mind, but perplexed as to why each time he closed his eyes he saw those two big blue-grey eyes staring up at him, that tender sweet voice of the tiny girl that had captured his heart, and feel the little kiss that she had left on his cheek, her tender, sly smile on her lips as she watched the surprise on his face. Rachel couldn't be farther away from his mind… It was Zoey Grey, the tiny pink shoed, teddy toting, peeper picking pixie that he couldn't get out of his mind, and he just couldn't figure out why.

He sighed as he rolled to his side, his head pressing into the pillow as he closed his eyes. Tomorrow would be starting soon, and tomorrow he would see her again. He smiled in rest as his body relaxed and his mind wandered delicately as the low rumble of thunder set the background for his less than peaceful dreams. 

* * *

><p>The sound of the thunder made Zoey jump back a little, making sure not to make a sound as she stared down at the sleeping woman. Her face looked so familiar, her profile was thin and bony, though there was something so familiar, so entrancing about this woman that lay before her that Zoey couldn't quite move. She was so entranced that she didn't even notice the person sitting in the corner on a chair, quietly reading a book.<p>

"Something tells me that you're not supposed to be in here…" The whispering voice said as Zoey leaped backwards nearly slamming herself into the bed as she sucked in a sharp breath at the sight of the person in the room. Her mouth was wide with surprise as she tried desperately to get her feet to move her out of the room, noticing that her mind wouldn't allow for it.

"I…"

"Hush…" the woman said kindly as she stood up and walked toward the little girl. She crouched down quietly and smiled softly. "You must be Zoey…" She whispered, watching as the little girl nodded her head, her gray eyes were filled with unbridled fear.

"I'm Isobel… this is Meredith…" She said as she touched the woman's hand. "She's sick… and I take care of her for Ms. Grey…Lexie… Meredith is her sister…"

"Who…?" Zoey whispered.

"It's not important… don't worry about it, sweetheart… but you had better get back to your room before you get in trouble… I don't want you to get into trouble." Zoey nodded and swallowed hard, hurrying down the hallway quickly as she watched Isobel close the door, she walked into her room and closed the door quietly behind her.

She ran to the bed and climbed atop it, wrapping her arms around her teddy bear, she squeezed her eyes tightly. "Mister Derek… please make the thunder stop… please… please make the thunder stop…" She whispered as she held the bear tightly in her arms as she fell into a fitful slumber.

* * *

><p>"Hey… get up…" A man's voice startled Zoey out of her sleep. "Hey…" She felt a hard smack on her arm and she screeched as she pulled the blanket off her head. "Get the fuck up!" The man shouted as he kicked her bed, making her and the bed jump as she climbed into the corner of the bed.<p>

"Joe?" Lexie's voice came from the hallway as he turned his head. "Joe, don't scare her… just tell her to get up."

"Get out of bed you little maggot." The scruffy looking man with the white undershirt growled at the little girl as she stared into his cold, black eyes.

"I'm getting up..." She whimpered as she watched him stomp out of the room angrily. She trembled slightly as she climbed out of bed, slipping onto the floor, she grabbed her bag and unzipped it, finding some clothes as she walked to the doorway and watched the man walk to the top of the stairs. She took off running toward the bathroom, swinging inside, she slammed the door closed as she stood with her back against it, trying to calm her racing heart. 

* * *

><p>Derek walked into the hospital as quietly and as covertly as possibly. His third year of residency wasn't going to be easy, but it wouldn't be nearly as busy as his first two years, or so he thought. The first thing he heard as he stepped off the elevator onto the surgical floor was three interns coming toward him. "Doctor Shepherd, Doctor Shepherd… we have a question…"<p>

"What? No… hey, Doctor Shepherd, how was your vacation?" Derek asked. "No… Hey Doc… how was the family?"

"Hey doc, how was the family?" One of the interns asked as he gave Derek a sarcastic grin.

"Fantastic, Dr. Farwin, thank you for asking." Derek said as he grabbed the chart from their hands. "What do we have here?"

The interns followed Derek down the hallway as they explained the symptoms that the patient had and their quandary that they were being faced with. Derek looked over the chart and gave his opinion, telling them to check with the attending on call before making any final decisions and he watched as they skittered down the hallway quickly. Derek was turning to face the nurse's station when he saw a familiar smirk approaching him. He smiled slightly and shook his head as he turned and grabbed a chart that was in his box.

"And someone looks a lot happier today than they were yesterday…" Mark said with a chuckle as he stepped up beside his friend.

"I am doing a little better… "

"It does appear that you are, though your eyes are a bit bloodshot… did you have a little too much to drink last night?"

"First of all, that's none of your business and second of all… I was having trouble sleeping, that's all. I'm not an alcoholic, Mark. I'm not going to drown my sorrows in liquor."

"Chick flicks and ice cream?" Mark teased.

"I'm not a woman either… ass…" Derek replied as he shook his head and flipped through the chart in his hands.

"So what's with the smirk, at least?"

"I'm having a visitor over this afternoon at the hospital, and I'm looking forward to her visit."

"Oh! 'HER' visit… someone you met in New York?"

"Well… yes, actually." Derek teased, loving when Mark thought he knew exactly what was going on when he in fact had no clue.

"Is she hot?"

"She's very cute." Derek said as he lifted the chart from the desk. "And that's all I'm going to say about it." He said as he shook his head and pushed past Mark, feeling his wide eyed stare as it followed him down the hallway as he chuckled.

* * *

><p>Derek stood in the lobby of the hospital pacing slightly as he glanced at the door now and then. He seemed nervous, he felt slightly nervous, he didn't want to be nervous, but there was just something that was making his head spin. He looked up again as the doors opened and someone entered, he sighed and rolled his eyes as he turned to face the counter for a moment.<p>

"Waiting for your chick?" The sound of Mark's voice interrupted his anxious parade as he rolled his eyes.

"I'm waiting… yes." Derek replied as he shook his head at Mark.

"For your chick." Mark replied.

"Mark… you really have to listen better." Derek said as he looked up to see a tiny little sprite of a child struggling against an older girl as she held tightly to a very familiar pink bear. "There she is…" Derek said loud enough as the little girl's attention went directly to Derek. Mark's attention went to the older girl.

"Woah… she is cute…" Mark said, his eyes on Lexie as the little girl wrenched her hand away from her sister and she squealed in excitement.

"JUST DEREK!" She squealed loudly as her tiny legs carried her across the lobby much to the frustration of Lexie who tried to keep up.

"Zoey!" Derek said excitedly as he held his arms out, his heart pounding in his chest as he watched the happy grin on the little girl's face as she nearly leapt into his arms at a full leap, his body twirling around as she kissed his cheek.

"Howya doin?" She asked as she grinned into his face as Derek looked to Mark, who was suddenly looking at him with a look of astonishment.

"I'm doing much better now that I saw you…" Derek said with a laugh as Lexie caught up to them. She couldn't help but smile shyly at the man who held Zoey so lovingly in his arms, though she was wary of how the connection had occurred.

"Doctor Shepherd…" Lexie said as she tried to keep their exchange professional as Zoey wrapped her arms around his neck, insisting that it was anything but that.

Derek rocked her back and forth as he reached for the pager in Lexie's hand, clipping it to his belt as he nodded in thanks. "Thank you very much for returning that…" Derek nodded. "I had no idea that I was sitting next to a peeper napper…" He said as he listened to the little girl's giggle. "Oh…" He said with a quick laugh, noting his friend's still astonished look. "Mark, this is Lexie Grey… Lexie, this is my friend Dr. Mark Sloan… and this… this is my friend Zoey… the cute girl from New York." Derek winked at his friend who just shook his head.

Zoey lifted her head and held her pink bear tightly in her arms as she held onto Derek firmly, very much not ready to let go of him just yet. "Hi Mister Mark." She said as she held her hand out to the man, glancing to Derek for reassurance, she smiled brighter as he nodded.

Mark reached his hand out and shook Zoey's, his eyes still on his friend, whom he had never seen interact with children, besides the occasional patient. He had also never seen the grin on his friend's face before and the soft and subtle sparkle in his eye when the little girl reached over and kissed his cheek. "This is Mister Derek." She said as she held up her teddy bear. "Would you like to give him a kiss?" She asked with a soft giggle as Mark raised his eyebrows.

"It's a long, convoluted story…" Derek replied as he glanced to Lexie, who seemed much more relaxed than when they had first arrived.

"Well, let's hear the story over lunch… I'm sure you haven't heard it. Ms. Grey… would you be interested in lunch?" Mark asked with a sly grin as he glanced to Lexie, and looked up at Zoey as he tilted his head.

Lexie's face flashed one of concern for a split second before she took a deep breath. Derek noticed Zoey hold her breath as she gripped his shirt tighter as they all waited for Lexie's answer. He also noticed the deep anxiety in her dark grey eyes. "Um… well, I had… I…" Lexie floundered for a moment.

"It won't take long." Derek said as he nodded. "I insist… I'm sure you ladies have never had the likes of hospital food like this before." Derek rolled his eyes as he started walking toward the elevator with Zoey, boldly insisting that he wasn't quite ready to give up his tiny partner in crime just yet. "I know where there's a cheeseburger with your name on it!" Derek said as he poked the little girl's tummy lightly as she let out a delighted squeal as she gripped him tightly and giggled wildly as Derek led the way. 

* * *

><p>Mark watched carefully as Derek led the way as he held his tiny friend in his arms. His smile was wide as he talked to the little girl, and Mark turned to watch Lexie as she also kept her eyes on the man holding the little girl. "Did you miss me?" Derek asked teasingly as he tickled the little girl as they stepped up to the elevator.<p>

"Of course I missed you!" She said excitedly as she hugged him again, wrapping her arms around him as she set her head on his shoulder.

"I missed you too." Derek said as he bounced her a little, making her giggle.

"So… you and Derek know one another?" Mark asked Lexie as she shook her head.

"I just met him yesterday… so did she… is he usually this… 'friendly' with children?"

"I've known him for a very long time… and I've never seen him like this." Mark whispered back. They walked into the elevator and Derek continued talking to Zoey, completely oblivious to the other two people that were in the elevator, he watched as her eyes sparkled as she held her teddy bear in her arms and talked to him.

"It's good to know you were a good girl… I told you that your sister would love you." Derek said softly, watching her eyes darken slightly as her genuine smile slipped into a more forced, fake smile.

'Uh huh…" She nodded quickly as she turned her head from Derek. "Can I push the button?" She asked quickly as she reached her hand down.

"Sure…" Derek said softly as he tried to pretend that everything was fine, though sensing that something was very much wrong with the little girl. "Number three." He said as the little girl pushed the button and swung back up, grinning brightly again. "Good job." He said as she glanced to Mark and Lexie, her smile disappearing when she noticed that Lexie wasn't smiling. Derek noticed her change immediately, her wiggling body stiffening slightly as she turned and faced him again as the elevator arrived at its destination. "Who wants a cheeseburger?"

"Me!" Zoey exclaimed as Derek swung her down onto her feet and grabbed her hand as he led her through the hallway toward the cafeteria.

Lexie and Mark kept up with the two of them as Derek walked to the line and immediately ordered two cheeseburgers and a plate of fries as he glanced to Lexie. "What would you like, Lexie?"

"I'm not hungry… it's fine…"

"Come on… have something…" Derek nodded. "I'm buying." He said as he watched Zoey bounce up and down as she tried to watch them cook the cheeseburgers on the grill. He lifted her into his arms effortlessly and she melted within them as she watched them make her lunch.

"I want cat soup on it too!" She exclaimed.

"Cat soup?" Derek asked as he gave her a funny look as she laughed out loud.

"That's what mommy called it!" She laughed. "Cat soup! The red yummy stuff…"

"Oh! Ketchup!" Derek exclaimed.

"Why? I'm right here with you!" She giggled as Derek looked at her with a surprised look as she opened her mouth wide and threw her head back in an uproarious laugh.

"Isn't that the best sound in the whole world?" Derek asked as he turned to Mark, who continued to stand next to him with his eyebrow arched as he watched the two of them. "Eh, what does he know." Derek shrugged as he nodded thanks to the cook who handed him the tray with the two cheeseburgers and fries and turned to go find a table as Lexie decided to order something and waited as Derek sat down with Zoey at a table and placed the cheeseburger in front of her as she grinned as he talked with her.

"So are you going to tell me what's gotten you so nervous about your sister?" Derek asked the little girl as he tried to hide his concern with his smile, trying his best not to upset the little girl.

"Um… nothing… I like um… Lexie…" She said as she watched Derek put ketchup on her cheeseburger as he glanced to see Lexie waiting for her lunch.

"Hey… fibbing isn't going to get you anywhere… are you alright?"

"Uh huh…" She nodded, watching Derek as he watched her. She swallowed hard. She didn't want to disappoint him. She didn't want him to think he had done something wrong by leaving her with Lexie. She didn't want to see him frown. "Lexie is nice." She nodded as she took a big bite of her cheeseburger and looked up at Derek.

"I don't believe you." He whispered as Lexie walked over toward them, with Mark behind her. "Do you really like her? Is she being good to you?" He whispered quickly as he felt his heart sink when she shook her head just slightly as her eyes turned a dark shade of gray and stared intensely into his as he read her message, loud and clear as Lexie and Mark joined them at the table. 

* * *

><p>Derek tried to keep the conversation at lunch going as long as he could. He tried to assess exactly how Lexie acted toward her, to see if he could figure out what was going on with them. He understood that Lexie was young, nearly twenty six herself and was working her way through school on her own. She had a lot of stress in her life, and taking care of a six year old on top of all of that had to be trying. He glanced to Zoey, who was watching him carefully as he eyed Lexie and she reached for his hand and placed her tiny hand atop it.<p>

"See… you're being sweet right now, and I'm just sitting here waiting for you to steal my peeper again… or take mysterious pictures with my telephone." He said as she opened her mouth in surprise.

"I was… um… I was um…"

"It's alright…" Derek said with a chuckle as he flipped his phone open, he navigated quickly to the picture of him on the plane, sleeping and drooling. "See the beauty she captured with my camera?" He laughed as Lexie took a look at the picture and laughed as Mark snickered at his friend.

"That's hilarious!" Lexie exclaimed as she shook her head and glanced to Zoey. "You're a very good photographer." She said, nearly the nicest thing she had said to Zoey since she had met her.

"Thanks!" The little girl said happily as she squeezed Derek's hand.

Derek watched the exchange and could see Lexie becoming increasingly more comfortable with Zoey being there and conversing with others, learning more and more about the little girl and how Derek acted with her, helped to realize that she may not be such a good companion after all, and not so much of a burden as she had originally thought she'd be.

Derek was still concerned as his pager sounded to send him away, and he sighed heavily as he glanced to the little girl who was showing signs of anxiety. "I'm going to have to take this…" He cringed as he looked across the table to Mark, who nodded and Lexie, who seemed to be enjoying herself.

"No… no, Just Derek… you have to stay here…"

"But I have to go save someone's life… that's my job." He said as he kissed her forehead softly. He looked deeply into her eyes as he asked her so many questions with his own as she nodded lightly at him. "Lexie…" Derek said with a quick glance to her. "You say you guys live in a place just outside downtown?"

"Uh… yeah… yeah… 345 West Roosevelt Street." She nodded. "Here's the number…" She said as she quickly scrawled a phone number down and smiled softly at him. "You can give Zoey a call now and then if you'd like… it'll be nice of her to have someone that is thinking about her… to talk to or whatever." Lexie nodded as Derek seemed content with the information.

"Does that sound good? I have your phone number?" Derek asked Zoey as she nodded and he took the piece of paper from Lexie. "I promise I'll call…" he said softly to the little girl as he leaned down and kissed her cheek. "Be a good girl for Lexie."

"I will, Just Derek, I promise." She nodded happily as she kissed his cheek and watched him smile. "I'll see you later, alligator."

"After a while crocodile!" Derek exclaimed as he made his way quickly through the cafeteria toward the door.

Lexie, Mark and Zoey watched as Derek disappeared around the corner and Zoey continued watching as Lexie and Mark watched her stare off at the empty doorway. "That is just the weirdest thing I have ever seen." Mark whispered.

"What is that?" Lexie asked, watching the amused look on his face.

"Derek Shepherd… happy…huh…" He said as he shook his head.

* * *

><p>Derek slipped the key into the lock of his house, glancing one more time at the setting sun as he pushed the glass door open and entered the foyer of the empty house. He stepped inside and closed the door behind him as he tossed his key into the bowl beside the door, listening to the hollow clang as it slipped to the bottom, clanging loudly as he watched the last drops of sunlight gliding through the house across the wooden floors of the hallway and dispersing as it raked into the stone entryway. He set his briefcase on the floor and took a step forward, removing his shoes for no particular reason other than habit as he moved his feet in the direction of the sunlight.<p>

He walked through the breakfast room to the bay window and pressed his hands against the glass as he took a deep breath and sighed loudly, listening to the deafening silence of the house as he turned swiftly and stepped around the small breakfast table to the sliding glass doors. He put his hand on the handle and slid it open hard as he listened to it smack against the metal frame, he cringed slightly and stepped out onto the covered porch.

He walked over to the hanging bench that he had installed by himself and listened to the soft wood creak slightly as he put his weight upon it, his sigh sending him deeper into the wooden bench as he settled down.

It was officially October and there was a biting chill in the air that stung his cheeks as the wind blew delicately over the expanse of his property, rising from the valley, swirling across his features as he swallowed hard and settled into his nightly ritual.

His mind was clear and constant, work had been difficult that morning, and had become increasingly difficult since his third year had begun. His boss was seemingly driving him into the ground with her demands and rounds and requirements and rules. She was tough to please, but he was always up to the challenge. He was turning into a brilliant surgeon and was loving every minute of every day at work, but it was tiring at times and it was times like this, coming home to a large, empty home, tired and worn from a long day.

He watched out in the valley for a long time, his mind drifting nowhere as it had gone somewhere that it hadn't been in a couple of weeks. He grabbed his phone from his pocket and flipped open the cover. The picture within had been replaced within the weeks and months that he had last seen his little friend, and though he had called her frequently on the phone at first, they had slowly drifted. He came to his senses, thinking it odd for a grown man to be calling a six year old girl for comfort and to comfort her. It was odd, he was an adult, and it may not have been appropriate of him to be so close to a little girl that had no ties to him. He needed real friends, real changes, real happiness, but it was October now… nearly three months since he had left the cafeteria and his small friend behind and made his way to another emergency.

Without thinking of the late hour, he pressed the button on the phone marked for Zoey, and patiently waited for someone to answer.

One ring.

Two.

Three.

He was about to hang up when someone answered the phone.

"Hello?" The voice growled over the receiver. Derek shivered at the anger in the man's voice as he swallowed hard.

"Um…Hi, I'm Derek Shepherd… I am a friend of Lexie's… could I talk to Zoey please?"

"Zoey?" The man asked as he coughed into the phone, not making an attempt to cover his mouth. "Shit, she's sleeping or whatever… why don't you fucking get lost, you perv… are you one of Lexie's fucking boyfriends…are you the fucker that she's cheating on me with? ARE YOU? YOU MOTHER FUCKING…" He snarled as Derek closed his phone quickly, his eyes widening in shock.

Derek could feel the bile rising in his stomach as the line went dead, the dizziness and sickness in his body was impossible to ignore as he felt an intense sense of urgency to just see those gray eyes one more time.

* * *

><p>Derek sat staring at his phone for the longest time, the anger in the man's voice had sent a chill down his spine and made his stomach wrench in discontent. He swallowed hard as the man's voice repeated again and again in his mind. In all of the times that he had called the house, not once had a man answered the phone, and not once was he even mentioned by Zoey. Derek was suddenly very concerned for the little girl's safety, not to mention Lexie's.<p>

For a moment he tried to convince himself that he was just being irrational and worrying… that maybe the man was just in a bad mood, a… very bad mood… a very bad person…? Derek didn't know what to think. On the one hand, it wasn't his place to be barging in on the life of what ultimately was a stranger, but on the other hand. She was a little girl, a lonely little girl who was so scared and so frightened when he met her. A little girl whose mother was in heaven while she sit down here dealing with a tyrant. He looked up, swallowed hard and took a deep breath as he though of the little girl's words. How she had so innocently whispered that she loved him in her ear. How she clung to him when she was frightened, how she called his name when she had seen him that last time.

Without another thought, Derek made his way to his car. 

* * *

><p>Derek drove down the darkened street of the address that Lexie had given him, the streetlights were dim as he drive down the quiet, urban street with various houses nestled together. He drove his car down toward the number that he had been given and stopped the car in front of a large bluish gray house. He climbed from the car and stared at the house for a moment, listening to see if there were any disturbances going on. There was a car in the driveway, and the lights appeared to be mostly off in the house as he noted a shadow in the kitchen window. The curtain was pulled slightly and he recognized it as Lexie, washing dishes as she smiled a little and spoke to someone behind her.<p>

The longer he stood there, the more lecherous he felt. He had no right being there, he had no right peering in their window, and he had no right bursting in on what actually looked to be a fairly calm and possibly even happy family. It was late, and he was standing outside a stranger's home with no other reason to be there other than an angry man on the phone. He watched Lexie for one more minute as he turned and walked for his car.

If he had only known what would happen that night, the secrets that the peaceful night was holding back, he would have never have left that window, and his pager would not be going off in the middle of the night, waking him from a peaceful slumber. 

* * *

><p>The emergency room was like a circus. There were people running this way and that, it looked like there had been some kind of natural disaster, the sheer volume of people that were milling around the waiting rooms and ambulance bay as ambulance from four different emergency calls rolled in. There were people screaming, crying, babies wailing and the sound of several different doctors shouting orders to one another as they moved the most important surgeries and issues down the hallway to exam rooms and operating rooms on other floors.<p>

Derek stepped into the locker room quickly and opened his locker. He tossed his car keys inside and pulled out a fresh pair of scrubs. He pulled off his t-shirt and slipped on the scrub shirt as his pager sounded out again. "Damn it, I'm coming…" He mumbled as he slipped his scrub pants on and kicked on his sneakers as he made his way quickly down the hallway. He stepped into the emergency room and was immediately surrounded with the sounds, the carnage, the shouting, screeching, crying.

Everything was muted to him as he immediately slipped into doctor mode. Cristina stepped out behind him and pushed him slightly. "Get to work, Shepherd, these people aren't going to just heal themselves."

"You got it, boss." Derek said with a glance as he stepped right in the middle of the debacle. He started to tend to a young man with a gash on his leg from a car accident and was talking him through the procedure when he heard another ambulance pull up. "Jesus Christ… is this fucking Grand Central Station or something?" Derek muttered as he turned back to his patient and continued to talk to him. He half listened to the call for Neuro as they announced a domestic violence and gunshot wound coming in. He glanced to Mark, who raised his eyebrows as he moved toward the elevator. Derek scowled. "He gets the goddamned gunshot wound, and I have a kid with a booboo…" He muttered, seeing the kid look up at him with hurt eyes. "Kidding… I was kidding…" Derek said as he heard the sudden screaming wail of a child pierce its way through the loud, crowded emergency room.

His eyes shot up at the sound as he became instantly enraptured in the goings on at the ambulance bay as the screaming continued, seemingly blocking out all other sounds to Derek as Mark walked in holding a small child, her nightgown covered and dripping with blood, her tiny body trembling against him as her hands gripped his skin with such force that his neck was turning white. The baby howled so loudly that Derek nearly fell to his knees as her head turned, and he instantly recognized her. Mark's eyes met Derek's, and as if in slow motion, he dropped the chart in his hands and rushed blindly toward them. 

* * *

><p>It was if sound or colors didn't exist, it was if it were going to take Derek a year to get to his friend as the small blonde child in his arms screamed so loudly, that nothing else existed. Mark's face was panicked. He had reached the ambulance to find the gunshot victim in one ambulance and as soon as the second ambulance arrived, they pulled the gurney off the back and this screaming urchin sit crumpled against her unconscious sister, howling as if it were the only thing keeping her alive.<p>

The situation was chaotic and the EMT needed to work on Lexie, but the screaming child was in the way. Mark immediately recognized the small soul and shouted to ask if she had been hurt, finding that she had only discovered the grisly scene in the silence that followed an intense argument between the two adults.

Mark then had grabbed the small child, peeling her fingers from her sister's arm as she screamed and kicked wordless frustrated grunts and cries and turned her face to see Mark. She didn't recognize him, and he didn't expect her to, having only met her that one time, but he tried to reassure her. He tried to let her know that she needed to let go so that the doctors could take care of Lexie, eventually she released her arm and went to Mark, crawling up his body and wrapping her tiny arms around his neck as she howled angry into his ear.

As soon as he stepped into the ER, he knew that Derek's attention would be brought to her, his heart broke when a child cried like this, and he knew Derek would be by his side, wrenching the small child from his arms. He knew Derek loved this child, and he needed to protect his friend, he needed for him to understand immediately that…

His hands touched her sides as Mark's eyes widened as Derek reached them. "What did that mother fucker do to her!" Derek shouted as the little girl's screaming became even more erratic, her fingers pulsing as she dug them into Mark's skin. The sound of a man yelling making her ever more frightened as Mark grabbed Derek's arm.

"She's alright… she's not hurt! She's not hurt, the sister… Let me check on the sister…" Mark said as he tried to get the little girl to let go of him, her hands tightening. She didn't know where she was or who Mark was talking to, but she wasn't about to let go of him. "Derek, please take her!" Mark exclaimed and with that name, she turned her head to see a familiar face, tears streaming down his face, reaching for her. Mark felt her grip relax as Derek quickly grabbed her into his arms, wrapping his own arms protectively around her as he listened to her screaming cries, cradling her, shielding her, wrapping himself in her terror so that she wouldn't have to feel it as he made his way through the emergency room with the squalling child.

"Where do you think you're going, Shepherd?" Cristina's voice was just another sound that he blocked out as he immersed himself and all he had into finding somewhere that he could calm the tiny girl down. With that, he stepped out of the surreal chaos, into the reality of his own guilt, and Zoey's pain. 

* * *

><p>She gripped him tightly as he rocked her, her screams turned into sobs as she trembled in his arms. He whispered to her as he rocked her, feeling the sticky blood rubbing off onto his scrubs and his fingers, the dampness was still in her clothes and there were streaks of blood covering her face. He couldn't tell if she was hurt, he couldn't concentrate over the howling screams of the little girl. He stepped into an empty exam room and held her to him as tightly as he could, rocking her back and forth as her face pressed into his hand, her screams muffled by his shirt.<p>

"Shh… It's alright… it's alright…" He whispered in a very low, gentle voice. "It's alright… shh…" He whispered, his words lost in the continuing cries of the little girl as he rocked her and bounced her in his arms, her tiny fingers digging into his shirt, into his skin, his face buried in her blonde hair as he kissed her head and listened to her heartbreaking sobs. "Just Derek is here…" He whispered, even unsure at this point if she had any idea if she knew where she was or who was holding her. "Oh… baby, you're breaking my heart…" He whispered as he rocked her gently, her sobs turning into hiccups as she turned her head and looked up at him, her grey eyes filled with unshed tears, bloodshot and broken, her face bright red as he held her tightly with one arm and slowly moved his hand toward her face.

She flinched as his fingers touched her face, and he gently let his fingers rest on her skin as he slowly moved her hair behind her ear. She closed her eyes tightly as she felt the contact, her hand releasing from his shirt as she reached up and grabbed his hand from her face, gripping his fingers with her hand, she started to hiccup, trying to catch her breath as she held his hand tightly. "I'm here… I'm here…" He shook his hand as she pulled his hand to touch her cheek, and he gently slid his hand to the back of her head, where she very carefully pulled her into is chest as she released his hand and gripped his shirt, holding him tightly to her as she realized who was holding her, she breathed in his closeness and continued to cry, if not for the mere terror of what she had witnessed, but for the thankfulness of being saved.

He held her for such a very long time, rocking her back and forth in that room as her screams turned to sobs, her sobs to cries, her cries to sighs, and eventually, her thumb found its way to her mouth, pacifying this tiny being into a frighteningly eerie silence. Her silence filled the room with nothing more than the sound of her tiny thumb being sucked into her mouth, and Derek's gentle humming and words of reassurance.

His pager sounded, and it was the first foreign sound he had heard since he had taken the girl from Mark, though he was fairly sure it wasn't the first time it had gone off since had left the emergency room. He held this blood covered beauty, this tender and frightened creature in his arms until his arms ached, until the sounds of her gentle sucking stopped and her hot tears had dried on her cheeks, as she fell into an exhausted slumber within his arms, the pager's sound screeching out once again for an answer.

* * *

><p>When his pager sounded again, he looked down to the sleeping girl and knew he couldn't hide any longer. Mark knew that he had her, Mark knew that he was busy, Mark was probably looking for him. As soon as he stepped out of the room, he saw Mark searching the rooms. He looked up and saw his friend, his eyes widening as he jogged toward him. He grabbed his friend's arm lightly, looking down at the sleeping girl as he pulled him back into the empty exam room. "Jesus Christ, Derek… where the hell have you been? We've been paging you for almost an hour…" He whispered fiercely. "How is she?"<p>

"She's terrified." Derek said with a sigh. "She's terrified and she needs a bath… if she wakes up like this, she's going to freak out again. She needs an exam… I want to make sure that I don't have to kill this piece of shit with my bare hands." Derek said with an angry growl.

"He's dead." Mark whispered.

"He's…"

"Dead… gunshot wounds… apparently there was a domestic dispute… judging by her injuries, he was beating her pretty hard… frying pan or something… I don't know… and somehow she got her hands on a gun… I don't know if he brought it in… if she had it for protection or what." Mark whispered. "But she shot him…"

"And Zoey?" Derek whispered.

"As far as we can tell… unless she tells us otherwise, she was in her bedroom sleeping and heard the fighting… when it was over, she went downstairs and found both of them… Lexie was unconscious…she called 911… the dispatcher said she told her what she found… she kept asking for you… when the ambulance arrived, the EMT said she was hysterical, screaming into the phone."

"Calling for me…" Derek whispered.

"Yes." Mark nodded.

"Mark…" Derek whispered as he shook his head as he swallowed, holding Zoey tighter. "Lexie… is she…?"

"She's in surgery right now…" Mark whispered. "The police are downstairs… and they called social services."

"What did you tell Cristina?"

"I told her that you knew the family… that you had Zoey and you were taking care of her. She said she knows the family… She knows Lexie… and she wanted an update on Zoey as soon as possible." Mark said, watching as his friend refused to take his eyes off the little girl in his arms. "Derek…" he whispered as Derek looked up at him. "She… they're going to… want to talk to her."

"She can't talk to anyone like this." Derek whispered. "She is just… she's so broken, Mark. She was fragile enough as it was, and she is so broken now… Mark…" Derek said as tears rolled down his cheeks. "I failed her, Mark. I failed her." He whispered with a heartbreaking nod as he pulled her closer and kissed the top of her sleeping head. "I am such a bad friend… I…"

"Derek, you had no idea this was going to happen…"

"I tried to call last night." Derek choked out. "I tried to call her because I just… I had this feeling. I even went to the house, but I stopped myself from going in, Mark. I stopped myself and I went home and went to bed. Now this happens and what the fuck kind of friend am I, Mark? She's only a little girl." He whispered desperately to his friend as his arms trembled.

"Derek, are you going to be alright?" Mark asked, watching his friend seemingly fall apart before his very eyes.

"No." He admitted, his eyes lifting to meet his friend's. "I will not be alright until she's safe for good." He said with a definitive whisper.

"Derek." Mark whispered.

"Let me get her cleaned up. Let me check her over to make sure that she's alright. Tell Cristina to hold her fucking horses, and if this goddamned pager goes off one more time, I'm going to shove it down her throat."

"I'm sure she'll love that." Mark said with a slight smirk as Derek nodded.

"I figure it's her style…" Derek said with an extremely nervous laugh. "Just… take it with you, if you don't mind… I don't want her to wake up to that sound."

Mark grabbed the pager from his friend's hand and nodded. "Take good care of her." Mark said as he touched the little girl's cheek, looking down on her with a sorrowful smile.

"Oh, you have nothing to worry about there." Derek whispered as Mark nodded, patting Derek on the shoulder slightly as he turned and walked out of the room. Derek looked down at the sleeping girl as her tiny thumb slipped from within the confines of the safety of her mouth, her tiny fingertips flexing as her head turned slightly into him. As her nose brushed the material of his scrubs, he couldn't help but notice the soft contented smile that rose on her lips. "There is nothing that will keep me from taking care of you… I love you, Zoey." He whispered. 


	3. Lost Friends Found

Derek took a deep breath as he stepped out into the hallway, holding the little girl to his body, he walked briskly down toward the staff elevator. Holding her close, he pressed the button and waited patiently for it to arrive, his heart beating rapidly as he tried to make it through the hallways without being asked too many questions, or interrupted from his ultimate goal. He could feel the sticky blood on his fingertips as he stepped into the elevator and cringed at the blood soaked garments that the little girl was still wearing, and knew ultimately that this was probably not the right way to go about this. Her clothes, her bruises, her state of mind are all considered evidence, and all he could think of was that he had to get it off of her.

He stepped down the hallway as the elevator door opened on the pediatric floor, noticing the eyes of doctors, nurses and patients as he carried the child through the hospital. "Doctor Shepherd…" He heard a voice from behind as he passed a counter, he turned and saw a familiar doctor.

"Dr. Karev."

"Who… is… is this a surgical case? Is she…" His voice was almost panicked as he walked up to the doctor and looked down at the little girl.

"She just came in from emergency… I was finally able to calm her down… I need… a camera, I need a small tub with warm soapy water, and I need a hospital gown… towels, and an exam room… and if you're not busy, your help…" Derek said as he glanced down to Zoey and back up at Alex.

"I'll get you the room… and I'll have the nurse bring you everything you need…" He said as he nodded and made his way down the hallway quickly to find an empty exam room. Derek stepped up to the counter and smiled at the nurse.

"Can you hand me the phone, please?" He said as she nodded, handing him the receiver. "Dial…5643, please." He said as she nodded and pressed the buttons, as Derek thanked her and listened for the person on the other end of the line to pick up.

"Yang."

"Dr. Yang, I'm in pedes…" He said as he listened to a loud sigh.

"Looking for your lost childhood, Shepherd?" She said quickly as Derek prepared himself to reply. "How is she?"

"She's not screaming." Derek said as he rocked her. "I have a doctor up here in Pediatrics helping me to clean her up… we'll take evidence photos if needed, and then I'll bring her down."

"Social services will be waiting downstairs… they and the police are going to want to ask her some questions… She may have to stay for observation." Cristina said, not missing for a second the sigh of relief from Derek. "Derek, how do you know the Grey girls?" Cristina asked quickly as she waited for his reply.

"I met them after my break in the summer…I had been in contact with them now and again since then… When Zoey came to live with her sister, I befriended…"

"Derek." Cristina interrupted.

"What?"

"Maybe you don't know the Grey girls as well as you think you do. Zoey Grey is not Alexandra's sister, she's her niece. Get her cleaned up and down here, Derek… You're a surgeon, not a babysitter." She said quickly as she hung up the phone.

"Niece?" Derek whispered as his eyes went down to the tiny sleeping figure in his arms as Alex arrived to bring them to their exam room. 

* * *

><p>Derek stepped to the table in the room, gently placing the little girl atop it, she curled up into a ball as she began to tremble, her eyes opening slowly as her thumb instinctively made its way to her mouth. Her eyes widened as she stared straight ahead for a moment. "Zoey…" Derek whispered as he knelt down, lifting his hand as he ran his finger over her cheek, pushing her hair from her ear as he watched her gray eyes dart in his direction.<p>

"Just Derek…" She whimpered, the first soft words that she had spoken since she had come in. Her voice was gravely, her eyes were quickly filling with tears.

"Zoey…" Derek whispered as he ran his finger across her cheek over and over. Her head darted up as soon as she noticed someone else was in the room and she pushed her body into Derek's immediately. "No… it's okay… it's okay…" He whispered as he looked to Alex standing beside the bed. "It is going to be just fine… Zoey, this is Dr. Alex… can you say hi to Dr. Alex?" Derek whispered. She shook her head as she kept her head in his shoulder, refusing to look up. "Zoey, Alex is going to help me make sure you're alright… can you look at me, sweetheart?" Derek whispered, feeling her shake her head into his shoulder, she was whimpering as Derek looked up to Alex.

"Zoey…" Alex whispered, taking Derek's cue as he crouched down toward the bed. He could tell that she was very frightened and he didn't want to do any more damage than had already been done to the little girl. "Zoey… I'm a doctor just like Derek." He said softly. "I… Derek asked me to come in and ask you a couple of questions… is that alright?" He whispered, watching the little girl shake her head.

Derek sighed softly as he very carefully pulled her arms from around his neck. "Zoey, sweetheart… you can trust Alex… he's my friend… I promise… you can trust him…" He whispered as she trembled slightly as she loosened her grip slightly. "He wants to ask you a couple of questions, sweetheart." Derek said softly… and we're going to clean you up… and put some clean clothes on you, is that alright?" She paused for a moment, her trembling was heartbreaking as she whimpered slightly and nodded.

"Okay…" Alex said softly as he crouched beside Derek. "Zoey… you don't have to talk to me if you don't feel comfortable, but I need for you to answer a few questions, alright?" She nodded softly into Derek, pushing softly against him as she moved her gaze to Alex, keeping her eyes on his, her hands still gripping Derek. "Good girl…" Alex smiled slightly as he watched her watch him. "Zoey, are you hurt anywhere?" He asked softly as he watched her stare at him blankly. "Do you have a booboo, sweetheart? Does it hurt anywhere?" He asked softly as she swallowed hard. She nodded softly as she whimpered against Derek.

Derek could feel his breathing becoming uneven, his heart beating harder in his chest. "Shh…" He whispered as he tried to keep her from trembling, and keep himself from trembling as well.

"Can you count to ten, Zoey?" Alex asked as the little girl nodded softly and watched him carefully as she felt Derek tremble slightly. "Good girl… now… if one was… kind of tickly… and ten was… owie oww owww' what number would your boo boo be?" He asked softly as he watched her carefully. She continued to watch Alex carefully, trying to understand what he was asking.

"How much does it hurt, sweetheart?" Derek asked as he held her, watching as she looked up at him.

"Four…" She whispered, shrugging slightly.

"Now can you tell me where it hurts?" He asked as she nodded carefully, the feeling of trust was becoming infectious in the air as she turned in Derek's arms and lay down on her back carefully. She breathed in deeply as Derek and Alex could see her very clearly as she pointed to her arm. "Is that all?" He asked softly as she shook her head, she touched her shoulder. "Anywhere else?" He asked as she shook her head. "No where else?" Alex asked, watching her shake her head again. "No more boo boos?" Alex asked as he smiled slightly as he said it with a silly voice, waiting for her reaction.

"No…" She said aloud, her voice was higher than before, and slightly amused by this doctor's attempt to make her feel better.

"You're a very good girl, Zoey." Alex said with a soft smile as he reached his hand out to her. She looked up at Derek and back to Alex, and up to Derek again as he nodded.

"See… I told you that Alex is a good guy…" Derek winked as he felt her relax a lot more. She reached out slowly and slapped Alex's hand, her nose scrunching up slightly as she giggled at his grin. "Alright… let's get you cleaned up…" Derek said softly as he lifted her to sit up, her hands still clinging to him as he held onto her and reached for the tub with the cloth. He glanced to Alex, and peered to the hospital gown that he had grabbed on his way down. "Hey, Alex…" Derek said softly as his friend's eyebrows shot up. "Why don't you go on and see if we have any of those pretty pink hospital gowns…"

"Pink?" Alex asked as he nodded, glancing to Zoey. "You like pink?" He asked as the little girl glanced to Derek and back to Alex as she nodded.

"Why didn't I think of that before…" He rolled his eyes and made a silly face. "I'll be right back…" He nodded as Alex stood up. He handed Derek a chart and Derek nodded. "Any marks, bruises… anything, put in this chart…"

"Got it." Derek nodded. "Thanks." Derek said softly as Alex smiled softly and waved as he slipped out of the room quietly. 

* * *

><p>As the door closed and Alex left the room, Derek turned his head and looked at the little girl directly in the eyes. She was watching him with interest, unsure of what he was thinking or feeling, only that she knew that she felt safe in his arms. "I'm sorry." He whispered, his eyes filling with tears as he shook his head softly, his eyes not wavering from hers as he just stared at her and tried not to burst into a fit of tears. "I am so… so sorry…" He whispered as she opened her mouth as if she were going to say something, closing it slowly again as she just reached for his hand as it touched her cheek. She placed her hand, palm side down on his and closed her eyes, feeling the warmth of his touch, the security, the love that he was trying to convey.<p>

"Don't cry, Just Derek…" She whispered, her face filling with concern as she opened her eyes to look into his. He was shaking his head as he tried to hold back his tears.

"Don't you dare feel sorry for me, you little princess…" Derek said as he stood up and turned, lifting the tub with the water, he placed it on the tray table and pulled it closer. He shifted and slid his way onto the exam table beside her as he reached for the cloth. She watched his hand squeeze the water from the cloth, the water dripping from between his fingers as he lifted it and looked into her eyes as he touched her cheek with the warm cloth. She smiled as she reached up and took the cloth from him, dipping her face into the warmth of it. He watched her clean her face, handing the cloth to him as he dipped it into the warm water. He wanted to ask her if she wanted to talk about it, he wanted to ask her if he had hurt her in any way. He wanted to ask her so many questions, but her silence was peaceful, and there was no sense in shifting the mood, there was no sense in bringing any more sadness into the room. She was safe, this was a place of peace. "Are you thirsty?" Derek asked softly as he watched her eyes lift to his as he took her hand and carefully cleaned her arm.

"Yes." She whispered, nodding her head, she averted her gaze toward the water as Derek squeezed the excess water out again.

"We'll make sure you get some water as soon as we get you prettied up…" He said as he continued to clean the blood from her skin, watching the water turn a dirty brown color with each dip of the cloth. "Maybe some juice or something like that…" Derek said, trying to keep his voice soft and light as she nodded and looked up at him, flinching as he brought the cloth to her arm, he noticed the dark purple bruise beneath his fingertips and moved his hand away. He could see that they were finger marks, bruises from someone grabbing her, dragging her along and he surprised himself with the sense that the feelings growing in his stomach were not ones of sorrow, guilt, or sadness, but feelings of anger. Not just any type of anger, but a strong, deep, hellish anger that made him want to punch something, someone, anything. He wanted to scream, to choke the life out of the person that did this, he wanted them dead, and though he knew who had done it, and he knew that person was no longer alive, it didn't stop those feelings, and it didn't make him feel any better.

"Just Derek…?" She whispered, looking up into his eyes, she could sense his change, she could feel the anger radiating off him, she watched his eyes and how they had darkened when she had pulled her arm back. "I'm sorry…" She whispered as she held her arm to him as he continued to clean her, his eyes darting to hers as the words left her lips and he knew that she could feel his anger.

"You don't have to apologize to anyone." He whispered, his voice was sincere and strong and she watched as his eyes lightened at hers, his lips slowly curling as she jumped when someone knocked at the door.

"It's just me…" Alex said as he slipped into the room.

"It's alright…" Derek said as he smiled at his friend and came in holding something in his hands. "Look at what I found…" He said as he held up a pink hospital gown in his hand, his other hand hidden behind his back. "And… I also found this little guy…" He said as he pulled a small hand made toy mouse from behind his back, he watched as her eyes widened slightly as she smiled. "He was looking for a home…and I thought you might be interested…" He said as he walked up to her. She reached for him and then pulled her hand back quickly.

"I don't want him to get dirty." She said as she smiled and glanced to Derek.

"Well, I'll set him right over here next to your hospital gown… we'll get you all cleaned up, and you can give him a big hug…" Alex said with a smile as he tried to remain as positive as he could. He could tell that Derek was angry, that he had found a bruise or a cut, or some sort of imperfection on the little girl, and he could tell that he was becoming emotional about it. "Derek… why don't you let me take over… do the exam… talk to her a bit… you look like you need to take a step back."

"I'm not going to leave her, Alex." Derek said, his eyes darkening as he turned his head from the little girl.

"You don't have to leave… just… let me do the hard part… and you can do the hugging afterwards." Alex said reassuringly, watching as his friend contemplated it, standing up, he leaned over and kissed the little girl's head as he moved around her, letting Alex take his spot as he continued to clean her and take notes.

Derek sat in the chair across from them, watching as she reacted to the doctor, trusting him, her eyes flashing to Derek as he watched her, his eyes filled with love and concern as Alex did his job.

* * *

><p>Zoey was cleaned gently and her injuries were noted in her chart as Derek watched on. Alex and Derek gave her some privacy to slip off her nightgown and slide the hospital gown on over her shoulders. They waited for her with the curtain pulled and Derek went through the chart that he had practically memorized every bump, bruise, scratch or scrape and her description of how it had gotten there. He was trying so hard not to let it affect him, but with each new discovery, his stomach had knotted harder. They waited patiently as they listened to her moving around behind the curtain as Alex glanced to Derek, he could see the anxiety in his eyes. He put his hand on his friend's shoulder and watched as their eyes met. He gave Alex a thankful nod as he saw a tiny blond head pop out from behind the curtain.<p>

Her eyes appeared to be brighter, despite the exhaustion that was hiding behind them, and she looked from Alex to Derek as she smiled a soft smile. "Just Derek?" She whispered as Derek tilted his head at her. "Will you tie the back for me?"

"Why of course…" Derek said softly as he stood up, pulling the curtain, he lifted her onto the table and carefully tied the back of her hospital gown. "Well look at that, pretty in pink." He said as she smiled softly.

"Pink is my favorite color." She said with a half smile as she watched Derek's eyes, and glanced down at his shoes. She looked up at him and saw the look of surprise on his face.

"I said, I only wear them for special occasions." He winked as she giggled slightly, her apprehension was still visible, but she appeared to be stronger and happier. He watched as she took a step forward as suddenly a look of panic came over her face. "What's wrong, sweetheart?"

"Lexie… where's Lexie…?" She asked as the reality of the whole morning slammed full force into her. "I need to go find Lexie!" She exclaimed as she ran for the door.

"Wait, wait, wait!" Derek exclaimed as he scooped her up into his arms as she kicked and struggled slightly.

"No, Just Derek… I need to find Lexie, I need to find Lexie!"

"Wait, wait…" Derek said as he held her carefully. "Hang on… trust me…" Derek said as her struggling slowed and eventually stopped as she heaved a great sigh as tears rolled down her cheeks.

"But I need to find her…" She whimpered as he continued to hold her. "I need to find her…"

"Sweetheart…" Derek said as he lifted her onto the bed and crouched in front of her. She reached forward and pressed her forehead against his, her hands on his shoulders as she shook her head. "Sweetie… Lexie is in surgery… she was hurt pretty badly, and…"

"Is she in heaven with mommy?" She sobbed. "Is she in heaven, don't let her go to heaven, Just Derek… please… please, she's my family… please…" She said as she sobbed, her face bright red with tears as she begged for Lexie to be alright.

Derek wrapped his arms around the little girl and held her close as Alex watched on for a few moments. The little girl trusted Derek so much, and all the man could do was hug her and try to reassure her. Derek held her and kissed her head as her crying slowed and her thumb made its way to her mouth again. "Listen…" Derek said softly as he sat down on the exam table with the little girl in his arms. "We're going to go and see how Lexie is, alright? But I want you to know… that no matter what happens… I'm going to be here for you, sweetheart… I'll always be here for you." He kissed her head again, feeling her melt into his arms as she rested her head on his shoulder. Derek looked up at Alex, giving him a sad smile as Alex nodded. "Did she tell you everything?" Derek asked softly as he rocked the little girl in his arms.

"She did." Alex nodded softly as he watched Derek's mind work.

"I… the suspect… the um… boyfriend, he…" Derek said as he tried to frame his words carefully knowing that every word he said was being listened to carefully by little ears.

"They're going to want to talk to her." Alex said, knowingly.

"Yes."

"And you want me to stall them a little…"

"If you don't mind." Derek said softly. "I have to find the status on her sister…" He said, swallowing the word for Zoey as he sighed. "And Cristina wants to check on her status…"

"I'll talk with them." Alex said as he nodded to his friend.

"Thank you Alex… I owe you…"

"Nah…" Alex said with a kind smile. "I'm just doing my job." He said as he lifted the little mouse that he had gotten for Zoey and watched as she reached for it, her eyes gently thanking Alex as she held the toy in her arms and pushed her body back against Derek, her thumb in her mouth the entire time. "Alright, I'll go downstairs… you find Cristina… I'll meet you downstairs when you're done. Alex reached his hand out to the little girl as she watched him carefully. "It was very nice to meet you, Zoey Grey." He said with a sincere smile.

She smiled softly as she pulled her thumb from her mouth. "It was nice to meet you, Dr. Alex." She said as she pulled her other hand out from around Derek and slapped the doctor's hand, his kind eyes making her feel comfortable and warm as he turned and walked out of the room with a smile.

Derek bounced her slightly in his arms as he took a deep breath. "Are you ready?" He asked as she pushed her body into his again, her hands firmly around the small toy.

"Uh huh…" She nodded delicately.

"Alright, here we go…" Derek said softly as he opened the door and stepped out into the hallway with the little girl. 

* * *

><p>Derek held the tiny girl in his arms as he made his way down toward the elevator. She clung to him tightly as he kissed the top of her head, her body warm and perfect in his arms as he could hardly feel the strain of his back and the pull of his muscles as he held her. He didn't need a break, and he didn't need to put her down, he needed her to be safe, and at this point the only place that he imagined that possible was if she were under his watch.<p>

He couldn't think of the exact moment that he had started loving the little girl in his arms, but he also couldn't imagine his life without her. He pushed his feelings of guilt and regret to the back of his mind as he stepped into the elevator.

"Where are we going?" She whispered delicately against his body as her gray eyes slid up to his, her lip trembling slightly as she sniffled slightly.

"Well… we'll check on Lexie… and there are a couple of people that would like to meet you." He whispered as he kissed her forehead.

"People that want to meet me?" She asked with a confused sigh. "Why?"

"Oh, they're friends of mine… they're doctors too, like Dr. Alex… they want to make sure that you're okay." Derek said softly as they arrived on the next floor up. He shifted the little girl slightly in his arms as he reached for his phone. He dialed Mark's number quickly. "Hey."

"Hey, is she alright?" Mark asked immediately as he stood staring down into an operating room, his voice lowered as he watched the surgery below.

"She's perfect." Derek said softly. "How is Lexie?"

"She is… still in surgery, she's stable… she's got some broken bones, some bleeding in the brain… Derek, they're not sure if she's going to wake up from this."

"Thanks." Derek said quickly.

"Derek." Mark said, his voice serious and concerned as Derek flipped the phone shut. "Son of a bitch…" Mark grumbled.

Derek walked down the hallway with the little girl in his arms, cuddling her tightly as he knocked on the conference room door where he knew Cristina would be waiting.

"Come in." She said, her voice sounded cold and stern as Derek poked his head into the room.

"Hey…"

"I said come in…" She said as she stood up from her paperwork that she had been dealing with as she sat there waiting, she saw the tiny girl in Derek's arms and immediately, her eyes softened. "Derek…" She said softly as she watched the little girl bury her face farther into Derek's arms.

"Zoey…" Derek said softly as he kissed her forehead. "Zoey, sweetheart… there's someone I want you to meet." He said softly.

"Zoey…" Cristina whispered as she listened to the little girl's sad, terrified grunts as she clung to Derek. "Zoey, I'm… I'm Cristina…" She said softly. "I… knew your mommy…" She whispered. "I was there when you were born…"

Derek watched Cristina carefully as she spoke, his eyes showing confusion as he watched her approach. "Cristina." Derek said, his voice was full of warning as he took a step back. "Ask her who Lexie is… before you say anything more…"

"Shepherd…" Cristina said, her voice again filled with warning as Zoey tightened her grip at the sound.

"Oh, don't mind her, Zoey… she is a grump sometimes…" He said softly as he looked over at Cristina who gave him a mock angry look. He shrugged as he continued to stand in the same place. "Would you like to say hi to Cristina?" Derek whispered to Zoey as she paused for a moment. "She knows your family… she knows Lexie… the least you could do is say hello…" he said as she nodded carefully. Derek watched Cristina's face, stern and cold as the child turned. As soon as Cristina's eyes met the little girl's, Derek watched her resolve crumble. He watched the ever stoic Cristina Yang break into a million pieces as she stood in shock.

"Holy… mother of… fu…Holy crap…" she mumbled as she looked to Derek. "I can't believe how much she looks like her mother." Cristina said as she took a step forward. When Zoey didn't hide her face from Cristina, Derek smiled. Cristina stepped forward and reached for the little girl, watching as she allowed this new doctor to touch her face, look into her eyes, feel her soft blonde hair in her fingertips. "I just can't believe how much she looks like her mother. It's just… it's amazing… Meredith would be so proud of you… so amazed…I just…" Cristina whispered as tears began to fall down her cheeks, the little girl looked up to Derek and back to the sobbing woman.

Derek had never, ever seen Cristina break down before, he had never seen her show this kind of emotion, so it was overwhelming for the both of them. "Cris, are you alright?"

"Of course I'm alright!" She snapped as Zoey jumped back slightly into Derek's arms. "I'm sorry sweetheart… I'm sorry… Derek… he just… oh, he just gets on my nerves…" She winked as the little girl held tightly to Derek.

"Here is her chart." Derek said as he held out the chart from Alex. Dr. Karev did a full exam… the pictures are included. She's much more calm now, but I think she needs…" Derek started as Cristina grabbed the chart and looked through it as she paced the room slightly as she read.

Derek stood watching her, her eyes passing to the little girl continually as she paced, as if she wasn't reading the words on the paper, but just trying to find the right words to express her conflicting feelings. "How do you know them, Derek?"

"Lexie and Zoey?"

"Yes." She said, not lifting her eyes from the paper.

"I told you, I was coming home from New York… and… she was coming to live with Lexie."

"Her…"

"Sister." Derek said, nodding.

"I see…" Cristina said as she nodded, looking up at Derek. "Well, that's all we needed then…" She nodded walking toward Derek. "I'm going to have to take her to social services now." She said as she reached for the little girl.

"Cristina." Derek said as he wrapped his arms around the little girl and took a step back.

"Doctor Shepherd!"

"Don't call me Doctor Shepherd… you only call me Doctor Shepherd when you want to talk down to me… this is crap and you know it, Cris… she's in no shape to talk to Social Services."

"And you're in no shape to be her caretaker, Derek. You're a surgeon… you have a job to do, you're not a babysitter, and you're not her father!"

"And you're not going to be the one deciding that!" Derek growled as he turned and walked out of the room with Zoey in his arms, with Cristina right behind him. 

* * *

><p>Derek walked angrily out the door, stomping his way down the hallway with the little girl in his arms as he heard Cristina stomp into the hallway after him. "Derek Shepherd, get back here!" She exclaimed as she stomped after him. "Derek! Stop!" She exclaimed as he continued down the hallway and turned a corner just as she reached for him, grabbing his shirt. "Derek, you can't kidnap her!"<p>

"Let go of him! Let go of him!" Zoey exclaimed suddenly as Cristina pulled her hand from his shirt as he turned swiftly.

"Derek… She's not your responsibility… she's not your child…" Cristina said breathlessly as she watched Derek shaking his head at her, his breathing erratic as he tried to hush the little girl peacefully. "She's not a stray dog that you can just pick up off the street and take home, Derek… there are procedures, rules! She's a little girl, Derek… she belongs…"

"She belongs where, Cristina? She belongs where? She belongs on a plane by herself? She belongs in a house where her 'sister' locks her in the bedroom for hours at a time and shouts at her as if she was a dirty filthy dog that pissed on the floor?" Derek growled as he stepped toward her. "She belongs in a bedroom the size of a closet with no window, no hugs, no love, no one to tell her that they care about her? Is that where she belongs? She belongs in a house with a loser of a sister who brings trash into her home and ends up in the middle of a damn gun battle in the middle of the dining room? Does she belong there, Cristina? Does she belong on the floor of the kitchen crying into the blood of her sister? Is that where she belongs? Or does she belong here… with me… in my arms, with my love, with my hugs and my care and thoughtfulness put into every thought of her? Does she not belong here in my arms, Cristina? Where she WANTS to stay… where she will NEVER hear an ill word of anything and she will not be called names or pulled around like a mangy dog! But now… now she belongs in the arms of a goddamned stranger that doesn't know her name, will probably assign her a number and send her to live some sappy dappy family that doesn't know a hug from a hole in the wall… she doesn't deserve that, Cristina… she's the daughter of your friend… don't you care? She's the little girl of your friend… and you want to send her away! You want to send her with some strangers that…" Derek shouted angrily as suddenly Cristina grabbed him by the arm. "Cristina! What the hell are you doing?" He shouted as he let her drag him down the hallway toward the elevator.

"Shut up, Shepherd!" She exclaimed as she pushed the button of the elevator and pushed him inside.

"Cristina…" Derek asked as Zoey clung to him tightly as he watched her with an angry glare, the tirade inside of him was less than finished as she flashed him a glare that could have peeled the paint off the walls. He closed his mouth as the door opened on the desired floor. "Cris, this is the psych floor…" He whispered as she grabbed his arm again and started to pull him. She walked down the hallway with his arm in her hand as she reached the end, where a lot of the long term patients were and swung open the door of one of the rooms, pushing him and Zoey inside.

As soon as he stepped into the room, he was aware of the woman in the bed. She was lying beneath the blankets, tubes running into her body, the sound of a heart monitor lowered, a saline bag over her body, bringing fluids into her body. He was surprised by her beauty despite the state of her health and the thinness of her body. She looked so fragile, so peaceful, a porcelain doll of sorts, motionless and gorgeous as Derek's eyes flashed to Cristina. "Cris…?" He whispered.

"Derek Shepherd… Zoey… I'd like you to meet…"

"Sleeping Beauty! Oh my Gosh!" Zoey exclaimed as she held her hands out to the sleeping woman.

"Sleeping Beauty?" Derek whispered, his eyes never leaving the woman lying on the bed.

"Meredith Grey." Cristina said as she turned to face Derek. "This… is my friend, Derek." She said as his eyes widened.

With that, Derek looked to the woman and back to Cristina, suddenly realizing why the woman looked so incredibly familiar to him. "Cris… She's…Zoey's…?" He whispered as he stared down at her.

"She is." Cristina nodded.

"She's so prettyful, isn't she, Just Derek?" Zoey asked as she smiled down at the woman, unaware of the shock of her friend as he stood holding her. "Just Derek?" She whispered as she watched his eyes not leave the woman lying in the bed. "Just…"

"She is prettyful…" Derek whispered as he hugged the little girl closer, their eyes on the woman on the bed.

* * *

><p>Derek's hearing focused on the sound of the heart monitor for a moment, his eyes were focused on the bed and the girl that lie within it, and his hands were holding the little girl in his arms securely. Derek stepped up to the bed, standing opposite of Cristina as they stood over the woman. She appeared to be sleeping, quiet and peaceful and Derek's eyes lifted to Cristina's. "What's wrong with her?" Derek whispered as he reached for her hand. "What's… what happened to her?" He whispered, his voice catching slightly as he watched Cristina looked up at him.<p>

"Meredith wasn't always like this… obviously…" Cristina said, gesturing toward Zoey, who had no idea where the conversation was going, but held Derek as Cristina talked. "A little over six years ago, Meredith had a pretty serious boyfriend… and at some point, she became pregnant… and… around… the third month, the boyfriend was in a pretty nasty car accident." Cristina sighed. "He died." She swallowed. "Meredith… went into… a serious depression." Cristina explained.

"So…"

"So yeah… things were looking pretty dismal from the start." Cristina said softly. "She wasn't always this bad either… I mean… when the baby was born, she was having good days and bad days… Her mother and father were already on the rocks… Lexie is her father's child from his first marriage… and so after the baby was born, Meredith's mother took her to New York with her, separating from her husband, she raised the child as her own." Cristina explained as she held her friend's hand. "When the baby was taken away… Meredith slipped further away… into a catatonic stupor, like she is now… we don't know if she can hear us or when her eyes are open, if she can see us… but we talk to her and take care of her."

"Where is her father?"

"He actually died about a month before her mother died…Lexie took on responsibility for her. She has a trust fund that pays for her medical costs, and her mother had a payment plan set up through her lawyer to keep Meredith alive as long as possible." Cristina explained. "She was at Lexie's house until about two weeks ago, which is probably how Zoey came to find out about her.… she developed a cold and was having difficulty breathing so they brought her in for antibiotics and fluids. If something happens to Lexie…" Cristina shook her head as she looked down at her friend. "I don't know what's going to happen to her."

"Her mother left no instructions?" Derek asked, his eyes still never leaving the woman as he held Zoey's sleepy body against him.

"Her mother thought there would always be someone to take care of her. She has no immediate family… and no one to make decisions if something happens to Lexie, technically the next in line would be her daughter."

"Cristina." Derek said as he shook his head.

"She'd end up becoming a ward of the state until she's old enough to look after her… if she's still alive by then…" Cristina swallowed hard. "… and probably be put up in some long term hospital until the money ran out…Derek… I… can't talk about this anymore." Cristina said as she shook her head, her voice becoming higher as she struggled with her emotions, struggled to stay strong.

"Has she ever had an MRI done?"

"Yes… back when she first slipped into this state… but the findings were inconclusive… her mother has requested that no unnecessary tests be done. There are a list of changes that she included that would constitute for particular tests… and that was all… her file is about three inches thick, Derek… she had originally had every test under the sun done on her… but her mother didn't want her to suffer, so she put a stop to the tests." Cristina nodded.

"Cris, I've known you for three years, and not once have you mentioned her." Derek sighed as he gently rubbed his thumb over Meredith's hand.

"Derek… as you can see… there wasn't much to mention… I'm just glad she's close by now…" Cristina sighed. "I used to visit her on the occasional day off, and when her father died, Lexie kind of stowed her away… hired a nurse to look after her at the house… and wouldn't allow visitors. I'm glad she's here now… there are a lot of people in this hospital that love her." Cristina whispered as she watched her friend for several moments as Derek watched her emotional reaction to what she was saying. Normally Cristina was stoic and strong, and he had noticed that the moment that she had stepped into this room, her complete demeanor had changed. "She and I were best friends." Cristina whispered. "And although I know that her mother was just thinking that she needed to provide for her daughter… she took away the one thing that I think could have made her better." She swallowed hard as she let a tear escape her eye. "And now… I think it's too late for anything to bring her back…"

Derek watched her as she began to break down, he moved quickly around the bed and pulled her body into his. She wrapped her arms around him and Zoey, her tears now flowing as this normally exceptionally strong woman fell to pieces in his arms. 

* * *

><p>Cristina allowed herself time to break down and cry for a moment, Derek's arms were securely around her when the door to the room opened and a younger blonde walked in, a nurse. Zoey was the first to notice her and smiled a sleepy smile. "Isobel." She said as the nurse smiled slightly, though frowned when she saw Cristina upset.<p>

"Cris?" She said softly as she walked up to Derek and Cristina, she put her hand on Cristina's arm.

"Oh… oh, God, Izzie…" Cristina sobbed as she wiped her tears and tried to compose herself. "Izzie… I…"

"What are you guys doing in here?" Izzie asked softly, looking suspiciously at Derek. "Why is he in here?"

"He's one of my residents." Cristina sighed. "He's… I… Lexie has been in an accident."

"It wasn't an accident." Derek said with a stern growl. His anger at Lexie had been building through the early morning hours and calling it an accident only seemed to increase the anger that he felt.

"An accident?" Izzie whispered, watching Cristina move toward her as Derek moved closer to the bed, watching them carefully as they conversed.

"Joe and Lexie… they…" Cristina swallowed hard as she watched Izzie nod in understanding.

"Cris…" She whispered as she pulled her friend into a hug, unsure if it would be accepted, though knowing that she needed it. "Those two have had some really bad arguments lately…" She whispered.

"This time it was bad." Cristina swallowed as she pulled from her friend's arms. "She's in critical condition… Joe is…" She leaned in to Izzie and her face became serious as she switched into doctor mode. "She shot Joe…he's dead." She whispered, watching Izzie gasp as she covered her mouth.

"Cristina!" Izzie said as she pulled Cristina into the farthest corner of the room, to try to talk in as much privacy as she could.

"It was really bad…it had to be in self defense, and if she survives this thing she's going to be a wreck, Izzie…" Cristina whispered.

"Zoey found them?" Izzie whispered.

"Yes."

"Is she alright?" Izzie replied glancing to Derek and the little girl. "I don't understand why he's here…"

"He's just… he's got a lot invested in this right now… he is… he's Zoey's friend. He's just protecting her."

"If he wanted to protect her, he'd get her out of this room." Izzie said, glancing to Meredith.

"We can't hide it from her anymore, Izzie. It's not fair. She's old enough to know the truth, I told Derek the story, it's not like she's not going to ask questions as she gets older."

"So she should find out that her mother is a fucking vegetable?" Izzie whispered fiercely.

"Don't you dare talk about Meredith like that!" Cristina exclaimed a little louder than she should, her emotions working into overdrive as she grabbed Izzie's shoulder. "This is no time to turn on one another, Iz. She needs us, Zoey needs us… and Lexie needs us too. Derek's in this, he's not going anywhere… just try to get rid of him, I dare you. Social Services is going to take her, Iz."

"They can't." She whispered, glancing to Zoey.

"She doesn't have anyone else!"

"She has a Godmother." Izzie whispered, watching the slow realization slide over her friend's features, very slowly as her mouth was left slightly open. 

* * *

><p>Cristina suddenly grabbed Izzie by the arm and turned toward Derek. His eyebrows raised as Zoey simply rested her head on his shoulder, her gray eyes drooping in sleepiness as she clung to her friend. "We'll be just outside." She said as she yanked Izzie hard out the door.<p>

"Ow!" Izzie exclaimed as the door closed and Cristina pushed her toward the wall. "Cut it out, Cris… or I'll tell them to get you a room up here!" 

* * *

><p>Derek rocked the little girl slightly in his arms as he gently rubbed her back. "Why don't we sit down here with Meredith." He whispered as he kicked the chair beside the bed slightly and lifted his arm beneath the little girl's legs as he sat down, slipping his hand into Meredith's.<p>

"Sleeping beauty." She whispered as she continued to watch the sleeping woman, her fingers tugging on Derek's scrubs as she looked up at him.

"What is that look for?" He whispered watching her watch him.

"Don't let them take me, Just Derek…" She whispered. "I don't want them to take me…" She whimpered as she held him tightly, tears welling in her eyes.

"I'm doing everything I can, sweetheart…" He whispered as he kissed the top of her head and rested her against him. "I am going to do everything I can so they don't take you." He whispered as he held her in his arms, closed his eyes, and rocked her gently as they rested.

* * *

><p>"Now explain to me why you're yanking me around the damned hallway like a ragdoll!" Izzie exclaimed as she smacked Cristina's hands off her.<p>

"Godmother? Why would you bring that up, Izzie? Why would you bring that up?"

"Because that's what a Godmother is there for, Cristina! To pick up when the mother can't take care of her child! It's the responsibility! It's not some honor bestowed upon someone just because they're friends! She trusted you! She trusted you and she put you down as the guardian… now it's not your fault that her mother had those rights revoked… but there is documentation out there, Cristina with Meredith's handwriting that says that YOU are the guardian of that little girl if something happens to her… YOU are her guardian and you're just going to give her up to social services? Do you see what she looks like, Cris? Do you see who she looks like? She's Meredith's little girl, Cristina! She's a tiny version of your best friend in the goddamned world and you're going to give up on her?"

"Izzie!"

"Cristina!" Izzie shouted back.

"Stop being a goddamned martyr!"

"She is your responsibility, Cristina! Just because you don't want to hear it, doesn't make it untrue!"

"Izzie, stop it… do you see what I do for a living? Do you see my daily life? How often do I leave this hospital, Iz? How often do I go home and relax and not sleep in an on call room? Never… never, ever! I love this place! This is what I love! I am not a mother… I am not a guardian… in fact, I have the mothering capabilities of a hamster… you know, the kind that eat their babies just because their pissed off? I would make a horrible mother! The only thing I'm good at, is being a doctor, Izzie… that is the only thing that I'm…"

"No one is asking you to be her mother, Cristina." Izzie said angrily as she grabbed hold of her friend's shoulders. "She has a mother…"

"She has a mother…" Cristina said, using airquotes… "That died in a car crash on her way to the hospital to save someone's life… and she has a Mother…" Cristina exclaimed, pointing toward the room. "Who is dead to almost everyone except for you and I and a handful of people that know she exists!"

"What about Derek?" Izzie asked, watching Cristina give her a confused look.

"What about Derek?" She asked, very confused by her sudden switch to her resident.

"How does he know her? How does he know Zoey? They seem to…"

"Izzie, don't be ridiculous! He's a surgeon! He's not a babysitter… he met Zoey a few months ago and she kind of attached herself to him…I'm not going to hand off my responsibility to him. He has enough to worry about without having to adjust his schedule to look after a…"

"Are you stupid?" Izzie asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Izzie." Cristina growled.

"You must be stupid…" Izzie shook her head.

"Shut up, Izzie… I have things to get done…" Cristina said as she turned on her heel to walk away, feeling Izzie's hand on her shoulder.

"Cristina, you can't run away from this… and you can't leave that girl to rot with another set of strangers… She's your responsibility… you have to either step up to the challenge, or you have to hand off the responsibility to someone you trust. Don't do this to her, Cristina…She's Meredith's baby."

"Shut up, Izzie!" Cristina exclaimed as she wrenched her arm from Izzie's hold and glared at her. "This is my life, do you understand? I've gone through enough without having to look at that face every single day for the rest of my life! Meredith depends on me enough… and it would be torture to have to take care of that child! It would just be best for all of us if we just found her a nice home where she doesn't have to deal with a comatose or dead mother, a broken aunt and a dead man that treated her worse than gum on the bottom of his shoes! She needs someone who will love her for the rest of her life, and never, ever desert her, and I cannot promise that! I can't promise that I can always be there, Izzie! She needs, deserves… someone who will bend over backwards to give her what she needs, someone who will never let her go." She exclaimed as she grabbed the doorknob to the room and pushed herself inside, stopping cold in the doorway. Izzie nearly ran into her as she stopped as well.

"What? What is it?" Izzie asked as she stopped just short of slamming into Cristina as her eyes widened as well. Their eyes followed to the scene. Derek sit on the chair, his left arm gently cradling the tiny girl, wrapped securely around her as she slept. His own eyes closed, his head leaning on hers as he held her so securely, his right arm stretched across the little girl, leaning slightly toward the bed as his hand remain in Meredith's as very slightly, very stiffly, her thumb moved over his palm, the only movement from Meredith that either Cristina or Izzie had seen in nearly a year. 

* * *

><p>Cristina stood and watched in shock as Meredith's finger moved back and forth across Derek's skin, her eyes closed, her breathing normal. Cristina stepped to the monitor that was measuring brain activity and glanced to Izzie with a wide eyed expression. "Izzie…" She whispered.<p>

"It's just the stimulation in the room… of someone new being here…" Izzie said softly as she approached the monitor.

"This isn't residual output, Izzie, this is real brain activity." She said as she watched the output of the machine.

"She's always had real brain activity, Cristina." Izzie replied.

"What's going on?" A soft voice came from the other side of the bed as Derek looked up at them curiously, his hand still in Meredith's, though her movement had stopped. He pulled his hand out of hers and watched Cristina watch his hand.

"Meredith was moving her hand." Cristina said quickly as she stepped over to him. "Hold her hand again."

"Cristina." Derek shook his head.

"Just do it, please? I want to see if there's any change in brain activity when you touch her hand…" Cristina replied as Derek sighed tiredly and reached for Meredith's hand. Izzie and Cristina watched the machine carefully and noted there was no change at all as he held her hand in his.

"Anything?" Derek asked.

"No." Cristina sighed, staring at the machine for a moment. "Goddamn it…" Cristina growled as she turned suddenly and stormed from the room, swinging the door open, she stomped into the hallway.

"Cristina, get back here!" Izzie exclaimed as she ran after her into the hallway. She followed Cristina and grabbed her arm again, watching her swing around quickly.

"You grab me one more fucking time and I swear to God, I'll slap you so hard that those blonde highlights will land on the hair on your ass…" She growled as she glared at Izzie angrily.

"Cristina, we both saw it."

"We both saw what? I didn't see anything… Izzie… I just… I have to get to my office."

"Why do you have to get to your office, what's so damn important in your office that you can't stay here for five more minutes?"

"The will." Cristina said, feeling Izzie's hands drop from her arm, her voice became softer as she watched Izzie step back. "The will is in my office, and I need it as documentation for Social services." She whispered. "Get Meredith's file… and tell Derek to meet me downstairs in Conference room three with Zoey in a half hour… we need to get this over with tonight." She said sadly as she watched Izzie nod slowly. "I don't want this hanging over our heads… and I don't want that little girl to be sleeping on a cot in some orphanage." She whispered as she turned around and made her way quickly down the hallway toward the elevators. 

* * *

><p>Derek held Zoey in his arms as they walked down the hallway slowly. He felt like he was preparing to go through a gauntlet as the tiny girl held his shirt so tightly, he could only imagine that it had to hurt her demure little fingers, clasping onto his scrub shirt like a vice as she pushed into his chest as he stopped in front of the door. He could hear her whimpering slightly as her bottom lip trembled and her gray eyes filled with ever more fear. "What are you so afraid of, little girl?" Derek whispered as he felt her head rest on his shoulder, her body trembling in fear as he shook his head. "I'm going to kill Cristina for making you go through this…" He whispered to himself as he opened the door.<p>

He felt her grip tighten on his shirt, as if it were possible and watched as Cristina talked with the pair of social workers that were sitting across the table from her. "Here they are." Cristina said as she smiled. Derek could tell that it was a very fake smile, though it appeared to appease the social workers. "Doctor Shepherd… this is Ms. Phillips and Mr. Flynn from the Department of Social services. I'd like you both to meet Doctor Derek Shepherd." She said as she watched Derek cling to the little girl strongly while he reached his hand out to shake their hands. "Derek is one of our top up incoming surgeons. His specialty is Neuro, which works out well since we'll probably be in need of a Neuro attending soon… he's in his third year of his residency and…"

"Dr. Yang." Derek interrupted as he held the little girl tightly, his eyes flashing to Cristina. "Why does this sound like an interview?" He whispered.

"Because it is." Cristina said as she slid the copy of Meredith's living will across the table.

"What is this?" Derek asked as he sat down, bouncing the little girl slightly as she clung to him and refused to look at the other people in the room.

"It's Meredith's living will… after Brian died and before she was out of it, we… her friends, talked to her without her mother and father around. We were concerned that if something happened to her, that her daughter would be put in…"

"Wait." Derek said as he started to stand up.

"Derek, where are you going?"

"I need to talk to Mark."

"Mark? Why do you…?"

"Mark Sloan… I need to talk to Mark Sloan…"

"Derek, what are you talking about?"

"I need Mark to watch her… for a moment while we talk about this." He said as he started to stand up. "She trusts Mark, and I don't want to be talking about this stuff as if it's not going to influence her… as if she's not right here listening to every single word we speak. She's been traumatized enough." He said in a gentle tone, though his apprehension was obvious.

"Derek, she'll be fine."

"No, no she won't." Derek said as he started to walk toward the door. "I'm sorry, Ms. Philips, Mr. Flynn… I understand you're here to talk to her, but this matter." He said, pointing toward the paper. "This matter will only upset her further, and we don't need to talk about it while she's in the room right now. It's not even six o'clock in the morning… she should be in a bed sleeping, not discussing her future."

"Derek, you don't understand." Cristina said as she sat up.

"No, I understand…" He nodded. "I understand completely… and I just won't stand here while you hand this child over to them. I won't let her be in the room when you…"

"Derek, stop it…" Cristina said as she shook her head and started to stand up.

"No, Cristina…" Derek said, his tone was becoming agitated while Cristina pulled him over into the corner as he held the little girl securely.

"Derek, don't screw this up."

"Don't screw what up? You're trying to give her up… did you think I couldn't hear your argument with Izzie in the hallway, Cris?"

"Derek!" She growled in a low voice as she glanced to the social services workers. "I am her only hope at this moment… and yeah… I'm trying to give her up… you're right… and it sounds horrible, and I sound like a horrible person… but I'm trying to give her up to you… if you want that responsibility, I will allow her into your custody… Do you need time to think about this?"

"No." Derek replied immediately, his eyes determined as he looked into her eyes.

Good… now if you don't get your … butt over there…" She said as she watched Derek's eyes light up as he watched her growling face. "I'll make sure you don't see the inside of an OR for a month…" She whispered fiercely.

"Cristina…"

"Sit."

"Cris."

"Down!"

"But…"

"Now!" She exclaimed as she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Let's continue with the interview, Derek… because they're going to want to talk to her… about this, and about what she saw last night…about her stay with Lexie…Her feelings about a lot of things, and if you want this to go right, you're going to have to sit down and be a big boy for a couple of minutes instead of trying to shield her from the evils of this room… because trust me, Derek… there is a lot less crap going on in this room then there will be if we don't get these papers signed right now." Cristina growled. "Please, Derek…" She whispered.

"Cristina… I just… Can we please use discretion while we talk about this?" Derek asked softly.

"That's fine." Cristina nodded as she sighed and walked toward the table, and sat down, waiting patiently for Derek to join them.

* * *

><p>Derek sat down and smiled curtly at the two people across the table. They appeared to be friendly enough, and Derek knew that they were only there for the safety and well being of the little girl. Derek lifted Zoey into his lap and held her tightly, he glanced across the table again and nodded. "I'd let her walk, but she doesn't have any shoes." He mumbled softly as Cristina touched his arm to calm him. She could tell he was nervous and she didn't want him to think he was being attacked, or was under fire. Neither one of them had gone through questioning like this, so they were both pretty nervous.<p>

"Doctor Shepherd." Ms. Philips said softly as she watched him nod softly. "I trust that you understand what happened in the Grey household this evening?" She asked softly as she watched Derek's eye contact not waver.

"Yes, Ma'am." He said softly as he nodded again.

"We spoke with Doctor Karev, he said that he was the doctor to perform the exam on Zoey?" She asked as Derek nodded again. "He indicated that there was some bruising, some indications of abuse, mishandling of the child. In his statement, he also indicated several items in his report that the child had stated had occurred that could and would be described as neglect."

"Yes, Ma'am. I was present when she made those statements." Derek replied as he felt Zoey's hand stretch and touch his hand as he shook it slightly as he tried to maintain his cool, amidst his intense anxiety. He looked down at the little girl and watched her smile slightly as she patted his hand slightly, his eyes brightened slightly as he looked up at the two social workers.

"Were you aware at any time that the child was living in this type of environment, Doctor Shepherd?"

"No." Derek said softly as he turned his hand and took hers in his. "If I had heard any indication of abuse in the home, I would have been at the door immediately." He replied, leaving out the fact that he had been by the house earlier in the evening. He felt his stomach twist at the memory of seeing Lexie standing at the window, of the peace, quiet and strange silence that appeared to hang in the air, it felt like it was such a long time ago. "I met Lexie and Zoey a couple of months ago, when she came to live with Lexie. I had been in contact with Lexie, with Zoey… but neither ever mentioned the boyfriend. Neither had shown any indication of there ever being a problem in the home." Derek said honestly as he swallowed hard, the little girl watching his hand as she played with his fingertips, his eyes passed down to the little girl as her gray eyes looked up into his and she smiled nervously as he took a slow deep breath. "She's very special to me." He said as he watched the man and woman watch him.

"Doctor Shepherd." Mr. Flynn said softly. "I am sure that you're aware of the circumstances of Zoey's situation. Have you been briefed on the condition of her sister."

"Yes, Sir. Doctor Sloan has kept me abreast to the goings on with her surgery and has kept me informed on her progress."

"Then you know the situation that this child has been put into, the circumstances surrounding her admittance to this hospital?" He asked.

"Yes, Sir. I am aware of the condition of Lexie's boyfriend, and Lexie, and the circumstances of which they were found in. We have yet to speak to the police on the matter, but I felt that in the best interest of the child, it could wait. I felt that she had been through enough trauma and disturbing thoughts and feelings, that she didn't need to relive it. There will be time to speak to the police, but I don't want her to be afraid. I don't want her to cry… I don't want her to cry anymore." Derek whispered as he watched them watch him carefully.

"Then you understand the possible psychological impacts that this situation will have on her, now and in the future? You understand the circumstances surrounding Meredith Grey's will and the conditions stated therein?" Ms. Philips said softly as she pushed the paper close to Derek. It was a copy of Meredith's living will, highlighted was a passage stating that Cristina Yang was to take custody of her child in the event that there are no family members to take her in.

"Why didn't you take her in, in the first place?" Derek asked, turning to Cristina.

"Her mother took responsibility. She had a lawyer interpret and a judge make a decision, and it took all of my rights to her unless all family members were deceased or incapable of caring for her." Cristina whispered.

"And… you don't want her?" Derek whispered.

"I want her, Derek… I want her to be happy…I can't promise her, Derek." Cristina replied. "Can you?" She asked as she swallowed hard. "Because if you can't, I can always…"

"No." Derek said, his voice emitted seriously as he looked up at Cristina's sad eyes. "I'm not going to let her go through this by herself." Derek whispered as he looked up at the social workers.

"Since Dr. Yang is the official guardian of the girl, she has the right to hand off guardianship. Zoey's statements will need to be taken for the police because of the sensitivity of the situation. In order to ensure that your home is fit for a child, you will be visited by a social worker in the morning at your home tomorrow morning, to determine whether or not it is suitable. Zoey is to stay in the hospital overnight for observation, and due to the endangerment of the child in the home of Lexie Grey, and the situation that she has now found herself in based on her actions last night, she will not be allowed to claim guardianship of Zoey. Cristina is the official guardian, and wishes to hand over guardianship to you, Doctor Shepherd." Mr. Flynn said softly. "If you accept the responsibilities that go with guardianship, Doctor Shepherd and agree to the home visits and reports of our department, please sign on this line." He said as he slipped a paper to his side of the table.

Derek hopped Zoey slightly on his knee as he reached for the paper, reading the writing on it as she giggled slightly. Quickly, effortlessly and without so much as a second thought, Derek Shepherd signed the papers, making his guardianship of the little girl official.

* * *

><p>The rest of the interview, the paperwork, the conversations, the discussions went by so quickly that Derek hardly even had a chance to take a breath. There was so much to read, so much to hear and learn. He had to discuss his past, his lifestyle, his history, medical and personal. The social workers covered all of the bases, having Cristina leave for some of the more personal matters, they reconvened and Derek released a slow steady breath as he looked down at the little girl who was by now, sleeping once again against his chest.<p>

"Well, Doctor Shepherd, it was a pleasure talking with you." Ms. Philips said with a nod as she shook Derek's hand without him getting up. He nodded and smiled as he shook hands with Mr. Flynn as well, watching Cristina walk them to the door and say goodbye as he turned his head to face the pile of papers on the table in front of him.

He stared down at the piles of paper, dizzy from all the paperwork that was involved in the process, he could feel his exhaustion starting to weigh on him. He listened carefully to the sound of Cristina walking toward the chair he was seated in, and could feel her looming over him. "Derek?" She said softly, her voice was as tender and soft as her voice could get, the tone was apparent, but she was trying so hard to be supportive. "Derek, are you alright?" She whispered as she stepped forward, leaning slightly on the table, she tried to get him to focus on her, but his eyes were staring straight ahead. "Derek, look at me, are you alright?" She said again, her voice had a tinge of panic within it, when his head turned slightly and his eyes settled on hers, unfocused and slightly confused. "Derek?"

Derek's eyes dipped down to his arms, the little girl lay cuddled against his chest, her mouth slightly open as she breathed in soft, gentle breaths. Her nose twitched slightly as she made a sleepy groan against his shirt, her hand resting on his chest, instead of her thumb in her mouth as she sighed in her sleep. "What did I do?" He whispered as his eyes slowly raised to Cristina's as a look of panic came over her face.

"Derek… don't you dare…"

"Wow…" He whispered as he felt a very slow, steady smile spreading across his face.

"Derek? Are you alright?"

"I am… just fine." He said as he swallowed hard and dipped his hand to the little girl's cheek. "I am… I just… I need a minute." He said as he looked up at Cristina, his eyes seemingly brighter as he looked back down at the little girl. "Could you just give me a couple of minutes?" He asked as he watched Cristina nod and turn for the door.

Cristina stepped out into the hallway and closed the door behind her, taking a deep breath as she leaned on the closed door. She released the breath as if it were a sigh of relief and closed her eyes as she looked to the ceiling for a moment. "Hey!" Her thoughts were interrupted by a strong hand grabbing her arm as she wrenched her arm from the man who had grabbed it.

"Jesus Christ, Mark… hands off…"

"Where's Derek?" Mark asked as he pulled his hand away and gave Cristina a dirty look.

"He's in there." She said, pointing her thumb toward the room as she sighed.

"Good." He said as he walked toward the door.

"Mark, no… Mark, leave him alone." Cristina said, running in front of him as she stood in his way.

"What the hell, I need to talk to him."

"What do you need to talk to him about, that can't wait five minutes?"

"I wanted to tell him Lexie's status…" He said as he reached for the door handle as she grabbed his hand.

"He'll find you when he wants to know Lexie's status, Mark." Cristina argued as she dug her fingernails into his hand. He pulled his arm back and winced as he gave Cristina a dirty look.

"What the hell was that for?"

"That was for not listening to me, you twit… now go find something to do."

"I need to talk to Derek…"

"What you need is to get out of my face so that you don't end up mopping the floors of the OR for the rest of the week." She said with her eyebrows raised as Mark shook his head with a sly smirk.

"You're hiding something…" He said as she shook her head.

"Mark, get lost." She grunted as he reached for the door again. She slammed the heel of her shoe hard into his toe sending Mark into a wild howl that seemingly rattled the walls of the hospital.

"Cristina!" Mark exclaimed as suddenly the door opened, revealing Derek standing with Zoey in his arms. The little girl cuddling into him.

"I thought I heard you…" Derek said with a confused glance as he saw the self satisfied grin on Cristina's face.

"She just crushed my toes!" Mark whined loudly as he bounced slightly.

"I need you to do something." Derek said as he grabbed Mark's hand, ignoring his whining as he pulled him into the conference room, watching Cristina follow.

"What do you need?" Mark asked, holding his breath for a moment as he tried to will the pain in his foot to go away.

"I need you to go with to the police to the…house and get a few things…"

"House? Lexie's house? Why do you…? Derek, you didn't…" Mark shook his head.

"He did… now leave him alone and listen to him." Cristina said with a grunt. "She's staying the day, Shepherd, for observation… you can discharge her tonight…You're off the clock for the rest of the week… if you need someone to get you something outside the hospital today, Mark's your errand boy, I think he'd be perfect for the job… since he won't be involved in any surgeries today…"

"Cristina!" Mark whined as she shook her head and sighed.

"I don't want to hear another word out of you… and it's Dr. Yang… and you…" Cristina said as she grabbed the extra pager from her belt as Derek shifted his weight and held out his hand. "Here's your pager back… Mark told me what you told him to tell me…" She said with raised eyebrows.

"Yes, Ma'am." Derek said seriously as he nodded.

"If you ever tell him that you're going to shove something up anyone's ass, it better be his, and I had better not hear about it. Some things are better left in the privacy of ones own home." She said as she smacked the pager down into his hand. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have things that have to get done here… in case you haven't realized… this is a hospital…" She said as she started to walk away. "We heal people here…" She said as she turned and walked away from them as Derek looked down tenderly at the sleeping girl in his arms.

"So I've noticed…" He whispered, as he shifted her slightly, as he kept his eyes on her for another moment.

* * *

><p>Zoey lay curled in a ball, her head was resting softly on a pillow as she moved her feet beneath a soft blanket that was covering her. A picture flashed in her mind that made her eyes open wide, and she immediately realized she was in a strange place. She sat up with a start, her eyes closing as she opened her mouth and released a blood curdling scream.<p>

It took only a moment and a pair of strong arms were encircling her, though she didn't care to find out whose they were. "Help! No! No! Let go! Let go of me! Let go of me!" She screamed, panicking as she pulled at the arms that were holding her.

"Zoey… Zoey, calm down… Zoey, it's just Derek…" His voice was soft and soothing, not overly coddling, but gentle and caring as she stopped pulling at his arm and tried to catch her breath. "It's alright… it's alright…" Derek said softly as he rocked her back and forth.

"I want my mama!" She exclaimed as she burst into tears, shoving her face into Derek's shoulder as she clung to him, her fear and anxiety pouring from her body, soaking Derek's shoulder with her tears. "I want my mama!" She sobbed as she clung to him, his arms gently rocking her as he kissed her head and whispered to her, her tears continuing as she held him, her thumb eventually finding its way to her mouth as she grunted and sucked at it, trying to find some comfort.

"Shh… little one, it's alright…" Derek whispered as he held her, her wracking sobs slowly drifting into sniffles as she calmed herself from the immediate fear of waking up in a strange place. She looked around, finding herself in a dimly lit room, mostly because the curtains had been drawn and the lights turned down. The room smelled strangely familiar, yet she couldn't quite place why. Derek was holding her in his arms, and it felt right, it felt good to have someone there when she woke up, it had been such a long time since that had happened, that she wanted to revel in it just a little more.

"Where are we?" She whispered as she leaned forward slightly, slipping her thumb back into her mouth.

"We're still at the hospital…" He whispered as he started to pull her from his shirt and lay her back on the bed.

"No…" She whined as she tried to cling to him, looking up at him, she watched the exhausted look in his eye and reluctantly let go of his shirt.

"It's alright, sweetheart." Derek said softly.

"Don't let them take me, Just Derek…" She whispered.

"Would you rather… come home with me tonight?" Derek asked as he watched her eyes dart to him. "I don't have any little girl things, or a swing set or anything fun… but I have a couple extra rooms…" he shrugged.

"You want me to come stay with you, Just Derek?" She asked as she sat up, crossing her legs in front of her on the bed as she faced Derek, her smile radiating now, a sharp contrast to the look of fear only minutes before.

"If you want to… you can stay there as long as you want to." Derek shrugged.

"Oh! Oh yes! That would be so great!" She exclaimed as she tried to push herself to the edge of the bed.

"Woah… woah… not so fast there…" He said as he put his hand around her belly and pulled her back onto the bed. "Not for a few hours…"

"Few hours? That's forever!"

"No, it's just a few hours… we need to get your clothes… and a booster seat for my car… and groceries…" He said as he watched her become visibly excited, her bottom wiggling on the bed gave him a smile as she tilted her head. Just as he finished speaking, the door opened and the two of them watched as Mark walked in with his hands full of things. Derek jumped from the bed beside Zoey to help him, grabbing several bags and the booster seat from Mark's arms. "Geez, Mark… you could have left these things in your car…" Mark said as he glanced to Zoey, who watched them curiously. "Zoey, you remember Mark, right?"

"Hi, Zoey." Mark said with a soft, friendly tone as she waved slightly at him.

"Hi, Mister Mark." She said very softly, her smile sideways as she raised her eyebrows at the items that had been brought into the room. "What did you bring?"

"Well…" Mark said as he grabbed one of the bags. "She didn't have a lot of clothes." Mark said as he opened the bag. "And she didn't have much of a room." He said with a frustrated sigh.

"Mark, we don't need to talk about it now." Derek said as he opened one of the bags and looked through it.

"It was a closet, Derek… like seriously… with a tiny little mattress and a…"

"Mark." Derek said as he looked his friend in the eyes. "Did you hear what I said? Don't discuss it now." He said as he glanced to Zoey and back to his friend.

"Oh…yeah, got it." Mark nodded as he pulled out a small pink t-shirt and a pair of jeans.

He looked up to find Zoey going through one of the bags beside him. He looked up to Derek. "She's quick." Mark said as Derek nodded.

"She is." Derek nodded as he smiled, opening up the backpack in his hands. "Look what I found." Derek said as he pulled the little girl's doll from the bag, her eyes lit up as she held up her arms.

"MOLLY!" She exclaimed as she grabbed the doll into her arms and pulled her into her chest, hugging her doll tightly in her arms as she grabbed Derek's leg with her arm and hugged it as well.

"I found that bag hidden in one of the cupboards in the kitchen."

"Hidden?" Derek asked.

"Molly! I thought you were gone forever…" She exclaimed as she started to sob. "Molly, oh Molly…" She exclaimed as she hugged Derek's leg as she chanted her doll's name and cried.

"What's wrong with her?" Mark whispered.

"What do you think is wrong with her?" Derek asked as he lifted the girl into his arms as she cried, clinging to her doll tightly as she cried.

* * *

><p>Derek set Zoey onto the bed, her sobbing slowing as she started to hiccup. He looked into her eyes as she tried to calm herself down. "Zoey, come on… no more of that… no more crying…I'm right here… and you have Molly… she missed you…"<p>

"But, but… Just Derek…." She whimpered as she held Molly tightly in her arms. "I thought Molly was gone like Mister Derek… Lexie took Molly and said she'd put her somewhere safe for me… she said that she didn't want what happened to Mister Derek to happen to her…Mister Derek is in heaven…" She said as she looked into his eyes, shaking her head. "I'm sorry… I'm sorry…" She said as she clung to him once again as Derek looked up at Mark. "I'm so sorry, Just Derek… I'm so sorry!" She exclaimed as she held onto him.

"What do you mean Mister Derek is in heaven?" Derek asked softly. "Sweetheart, what do you mean?"

"Sir… sir hurt him…"

"Sir?" Mark asked, looking at Derek with a confused glance.

"He must have had her call him Sir…" Derek whispered to Mark. "What do you mean he hurt Mister Derek?"

"I… I… was scared… he was yelling at me and I didn't want to come out of my room… and he said that if I didn't come out then he was going to hurt one of my toys… and I was holding Mister Derek… and he pulled him from me, and I tried to save him, Just Derek! I tried! I tried to save him… He took a scissors and…." She started to sob uncontrollably as she leapt at Derek, her arms wrapping around him tightly as he held her.

"Derek…" Mark whispered as he stood slack jawed listening to the little girl's confession, happy that she didn't continue the story, happy that she had Derek to hold her through it, though he could see in Derek's eyes that he was more than livid.

"Mark…" Derek whispered as he gritted his teeth and held the little girl as she sobbed and apologized, her tiny body trembling as she cried. "I need… you to watch her…"

"Where are you going to go, Derek… the guy's already dead… you can't kill him again."

"Mark, I need you to watch her…"

"Derek, I don't know what to do with her… she's so upset… she's not going to let go of you." Mark said softly as Derek whispered something to Zoey. Her sobs quickly subsided as she loosened her grip on Derek. "Derek… where are you going to go?" Mark asked as Derek looked up and glared at him.

"I'll be right back, okay, sweetheart… Mister Mark is going to be here… he'll be right here with you the whole time, you don't even have to worry…" Derek whispered as he lifted the little girl to Mark, he was happy when she reached her arms out for Mark and clung to his neck tightly as she held Molly in her hand.

"You promise you're coming back, Just Derek?" She asked in a whimper as he nodded.

"I promise that I will be right back." Derek said softly as he leaned forward and kissed her cheek and took a step back.

"Derek…" Mark said as Derek stepped toward the door. "How did you get her to…?"

"I told her that you'd take us to the zoo soon…" Derek said with a smirk as he stepped out the door.

"The zoo? I hate the zoo!" He called after Derek as his eyes turned to meet up with Zoey's. "Hi." He said with a smirk as she wiped her tears with her hand.

"Hi." She whimpered, as she took a deep breath and released it slowly, trying desperately to remain brave.

* * *

><p>Derek stomped angrily down the hallway. He had no idea where he was going, but he knew that he had to get out of that room before he screamed, shouted, or punched something in the angry rage that he was finding himself in. His hands were balled up into tight fists and his teeth were grinding as he paced back and forth beside the elevator. He could feel the heat and anger boiling over in his mind as he slammed down on the elevator button again with his palm.<p>

The door finally opened and he shoved himself into the elevator, moving aside for a person who was taking it down to the next floor, Derek stared at his feet as he pressed the button for the intensive care unit, his eyes focusing on the numbers above the door as he waited for his turn to get off the elevator. 

* * *

><p>"So…" Mark said, sitting down on the bed as the little girl climbed out of his arms and crawled toward the pillow on the bed, curling onto it with Molly in her arms.<p>

"When is Just Derek coming back?" She asked, glancing to the door and back to Mark.

"Oh, he'll be back soon… why do you call him 'Just' Derek?" Mark asked softly. "If you don't mind me asking."

"Cuz he said that was his name, silly… he said call me 'Just Derek'… are you telling me that's not his name?" She asked innocently as she looked at Mark with a curious stare.

"No, no… that's his name…." Mark nodded with a chuckle as he tried to reassure her. "So… that's Molly there, huh?"

"Mister Mark?" She said softly as her eyes drooped slightly, a small yawn coming to her lips as she snuggled into her doll.

"Hmm…?"

"Tell me a story… please?" She said softly as she looked over at him with sleepy eyes as Mark moved toward the chair beside the bed.

"A story, huh?" He asked as he settled in and leaned toward the bed, bringing his chin to the mattress so they were eye to eye. He watched her nod sadly as she watched him, and he reached his hand over to pull the blanket up onto her tiny body as he began his story. 

* * *

><p>The elevator doors opened and he walked down the hallway briskly to the nurse's station. "Hey, Doctor Shepherd, you're not on now, are you? Dr. Yang said that if we see you here, we're supposed to send you back upstairs."<p>

"I need to see the chart for Lexie Grey." Derek said, ignoring the nurse for a moment as he held his hand out. The nurse looked up at him blankly, and was taken aback by the intense look in his eyes. "Lexie Grey… chart…" He said, his voice was low, curt, and angry. The nurse grabbed the chart and handed it off to Derek, who nodded in thanks as he flipped it open and walked quickly down the hallway. 

* * *

><p>"Once there was this…"<p>

"Once upon a time…" Zoey said softly.

"Huh?"

"Once upon a time… that's how you start a story…" Zoey replied, pointing at Mark. "You start it with once upon a time…"

"Oh… yeah... sorry…" Mark nodded. "Once upon a time, there was a little girl… she…"

"She was a princess." Zoey sighed.

"What?" Mark asked as he watched her nod her head.

"The little girl… she's a princess, right?"

"Yes… she's a princess…who is telling the story here?" Mark asked as he smirked at the little girl's little grin.

"I think I am… do you want to lay down?" Zoey asked as she lifted her head from the pillow.

"Oh, you think you're funny now?" Mark laughed as he nodded his head.

"What was the princess' name?" Zoey asked as she lay her head down on the pillow.

"Floyd…"

"Haha! Floyd?" Zoey giggled.

"Hey, are you making fun of her name?" Mark teased as the little girl shook her head and laughed.

"No…" She giggled as she yawned and listened. 

* * *

><p>Derek flipped through the chart full of notes and directions, medications and other assorted items as he pushed the door open to the hospital room. Mark had told him earlier that Lexie was resting comfortably on the intensive care unit, but he had no desire to see her at that point. The things that Zoey had experienced were too fresh, too raw, too unbelievably cruel, that he couldn't see how seeing Lexie was going to make things any better. He had rescued her. He had saved that poor little girl from the abuse that she had battled, and even though the man was dead, his actions lived on.<p>

Derek looked down at the beaten woman, her face bruised and swollen, barely recognizable, her head bandaged. Her leg was in a cast, her breathing tube still buried in her throat as the heart monitor chimed in the background. "Lexie…" Derek whispered as he shook his head. "Lexie… you… I wish I knew… I wish I knew before, I wish I had knocked on that door…" Derek whispered, feeling tears coming to his eyes. "If I had knocked on the door, then I wouldn't have left… I could have rescued you, why didn't you want rescuing… why did you let that animal into your house?" He sighed.

"You knew… that man… was like a ticking time bomb… and you should have known it, Lexie… you should have fucking knew it…and that little girl had to suffer for it, Lexie… she had to suffer because you were too stupid to keep that crazy son of a bitch away from her, away from you. You had to suffer for it… and now you and Zoey will have to live with that stigma for the rest of your life. You have the bruises and cuts and scrapes from the battle… you have to live with the knowledge that you killed a man that you knowingly let into your house, Lexie… you're never going to be the same… you're never… ever…" Derek coughed as he tried to compose himself, feeling his body becoming more tense as he tried to keep his emotions at bay, knowing that if he overstepped his anger, there would be a broken wrist and several stitches involved, not to mention his guardian role being compromised. He knew that he had to keep it cool, he knew that he had to hold those emotions in check.

"It's bad enough, Lexie… that you're going to have to live with knowing that you killed a man, knowing that you took someone's life and squashed it from beneath them… but I think you should be more concerned with the innocence that you stole from your own flesh and blood." Derek growled. "You don't have to worry about her, Lexie… You don't have to worry about her ever again…I have her… and there is no way in hell that I would ever hurt a hair on her head… or take a smile from that face…I hope you survive this, Lexie… so that you can live, and apologize to that little girl who can't get the vision of you lying half dead on the floor, out of her head." Derek said slightly calmer, as he turned and walked out of the room, turning sharply, he closed the door behind him and he walked briskly down the hallway and tossed the chart onto the counter as he passed. He took another turn and walked directly into a linen closet, where he dropped to his knees and began to cry. 

* * *

><p>"And Princess Floyd said… 'Oh, save me, save me!'"<p>

"Why does the princess always need to be saved?" Zoey asked as she watched Mark tell his story, his hands had been flailing as he told a particular part, and he stopped for a moment to tilt his head.

"What?"

"Princess Floyd… why can't Princess Floyd save the prince?"

"Because that's not how the story goes…" Mark shrugged.

"Maybe it should." Zoey shrugged.

"Why don't they save one another?" Mark asked. "They can just help one another and they'll live happily ever after… and neither one is the hero…" Mark shrugged.

"Because you need a hero, Mister Mark…" Zoey explained as she looked up at the opening door. A familiar face poked on.

"How is my favorite patient?" Alex asked as he smiled at the little girl.

"Me?" Mark asked. "I haven't gone to see you since you refused to give me a SpongeBob band aid."

"As I recall… you said… Sponge 'boob'… Alex whispered… as he walked toward the bed. He held his hand out for the little girl and she smiled. "Again…" He said with a smirk to the little girl. "How is my favorite patient?" He asked with a kind smile as he leaned over the little girl.

"I'm okay…" She said with a smile as she rolled onto her back. "Oh! Doctor Alex! My mouse! You gave me a mouse… where…?" She asked as she started looking around the room, she noticed the little mouse across the room on the counter. "I need to go get him…" She said as she scooted to the edge of the bed.

"Not so fast… I'll go get it for you…" Alex said with a soft smile as he walked to the counter and picked up the stuffed animal. He walked over to her as he set it in her arms, watching her wrap her arms around the mouse as she smiled up at Alex.

"Thank you." She said softly as she hugged both Molly and the mouse to her.

"Well, who is that?" Alex asked as he pointed toward the doll in her arms, her eyes flashed to Mark as she then looked to Alex.

"Her name is Molly." Zoey said softly as she reached Molly's hand out to Alex. "Molly, this is Doctor Alex." She said softly.

"Well, it's nice to meet you, Molly." Alex said with a smile as he shook the doll's hand and looked to Mark. "So what have you two been up to? Where's Doctor Shepherd?"

"Derek had some things he needed to do." Mark said, knowing how angry Derek was, and that he had left purely to get a breath of air before facing the reality of this situation again. "He's going to be right back." Mark said, reassuring Zoey as Alex nodded. "Miss Grey and I were telling a story." Mark said softly.

"I was telling the story." Zoey confirmed. "Mister Mark was messing the story up." She said as she watched Mark's lower lip stick out. "Don't worry, Mister Mark… we'll work on it until you get it right." She said sincerely as Mark smiled, as Alex laughed.

* * *

><p>Derek sobbed into his hands for several moments, the shock and reality of the situation hitting him full force as he tried to catch his breath. He looked to the ceiling for a moment, trying to find some sort of solace in his quiet place, but every time he closed his eyes, he could see that little girl covered in Lexie's blood. He could hear the howling scream of her voice ringing in his ears, he could feel her tiny fingers digging deep into his chest, through his shirt and pinching the skin of his body. He could smell the blood on her, taste the blood, the sweat, the fear that he could only imagine was hiding itself in that tiny little body of hers.<p>

He sobbed into his hands for several minutes, without noticing the door to the linen closet opening, or closing behind the person who had entered. He hiccupped and sucked in his breath as he tried so desperately to control his tears, the fear and uncertainty in his belly sending him into wave after wave of desperate sobs.

"Are you done?" The voice cut through his crying like a slap in the face, his tears stopping immediately as he took a deep breath holding the next sob at bay, just barely.

"Cris…" He said, allowing the sucked in breath to push out of his mouth as the tears still continued to flow down his face.

"Yeah… Cris…" She said as he felt someone sit hard on the floor beside him, pushing him slightly as he listened to her breathing softly.

"I'm sorry…" He was able to grunt out, releasing a held back sob as he caught it midway from his throat, coughing out the words as he took another deep breath. "I'm not unstable." He whispered fiercely.

"No one said you were unstable." Cristina whispered, touching his arm for a moment before pulling back.

"I'm sitting in a linen closet crying my eyes out, Cris… it sounds pretty goddamned unstable to me."

"No…" She whispered. "Outbursts in public… peeing in parking lots… um… cutting your hair into a Mohawk… pretty unstable… crying in a linen closet, while it could be described as womanly, is not an unstable move at all." She replied, nudging him as she heard the air expelled from his mouth in the sound of a laugh. "You're not unstable, Derek… You're angry, you're surprised, you were blindsided and you are now a little shell-shocked…"

"I'm a guardian…" Derek choked out.

"Of a little girl that thinks the world of you… I don't know how you did it, Derek… but you got a kid to love you… actually love you… and it seems to me that the feeling is pretty mutual." Cristina said calmly.

"I don't even know her that well." Derek said, looking at Cristina, her silhouette barely visible in the darkened closet.

"And she doesn't know you very well." Cristina said softly. "And when she does, she'll know that you're the most compassionate, loving, caring people that she's ever met."

"And that came from…"

"Me, I know… let's not let this conversation get around the hospital, I have a reputation to uphold." Cristina said curtly as she nudged him. "You're not unstable… you're just angry and scared." Cristina said softly.

"I should have called her more often." Derek whispered.

"And been described by Lexie as the crazy older man that calls her niece frequently… Derek, you didn't do anything wrong."

"I could have prevented this." Derek whispered.

"You preventing the eventual demise of that asshole that did this to Lexie and Zoey would have only avoided the inevitable for so long, Derek. You weren't going to be there last night, whether you were calling her on a regular basis or not. It happened, Derek."

"But I would have known about how he was treating her, Cristina…" He whimpered.

"She wouldn't tell you, Derek… Lexie was probably just as afraid of him as Zoey… and Zoey… she wouldn't want to disappoint you… she would have kept quiet… she wouldn't want to make you worry about her. In that respect, she's just like her mother… she's an avoider… if she avoids the truth, it doesn't exist… but it is there, and it bothers her… but she loves you too much to want to disappoint you." Cristina whispered.

* * *

><p>"Alright, so the story we were telling… where were we?" Mark asked as he watched Zoey lay comfortably on the bed as she watched the both of them.<p>

"Doctor Alex is going to tell a story now…" Zoey said, pointing to Alex.

"Okay…" Alex grinned.

"Hey, I wasn't done with mine." Mark teased as Zoey rolled her eyes.

"There's plenty of time later, Mister Mark." Zoey said as she watched Alex.

"Alright…" Alex said with a smirk. "Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess named…Meredith…" Alex said as he watched Zoey's grin widen.

"Sleeping Beauty! Keep going!" She said excitedly as Alex laughed at Mark shaking his head.

* * *

><p>Derek had remained silent for several moments after Cristina stopped talking, the thoughts rolling around in his head as he weighed in on what Cristina had said. He rubbed his face with his hands and tried to find his words as he felt her nudge him slightly. "I thought about going downstairs to the morgue to ask the medical examiner if there was a heart in that man." Derek whispered as he listened to Cristina chuckle slightly.<p>

"There's no question about it, Derek… it doesn't matter…"

"I bought her a teddy bear… when I first met her." Derek whispered, feeling the onslaught of tears coming once again. "Do you know… that he cut it up with scissors?" Derek swallowed. "The son of a bitch took scissors to a six year old girl's teddy bear… because she was afraid of him."

"Kind of makes you feel like you're the teddy bear, doesn't it?" Cristina whispered.

"That's putting it lightly." Derek whispered.

"Well, the fuck with it…" Cristina said suddenly as she stood up.

"What?"

"Just… the bastard's dead, Derek… get her a new bear and get on with your life."

"Cristina." Derek said, his voice was a slight warning tone as he shook his head lightly.

"I'm sorry, Derek… but you know something? Meredith isn't going anywhere anytime soon… but her daughter has a chance to live life to it's fullest… let's just… forget that the bastard even existed… and I'll be a surgeon with a vegetable for a friend, and you be a resident with the most beautiful little girl in the world to take care of… and we'll both be happy… except for the vegetable part… but you know what I mean." She shook her head as she held out her hand to Derek.

"You want me to just… forget the stress and get on with my life…?"

"Yes." She said as he grabbed her hand and stood up, looking down at her for a moment he sighed.

"It's not going to be easy." Derek replied.

"No one said it would be." Cristina replied. "Now can we get out of this linen closet before someone starts to think that I'm giving you 'special treatment'?" Cristina said as she nodded toward the door.

"Oh, don't be ridiculous…" Derek said as he nudged her and opened the linen closet door. "Everyone knows you bite." He said as he walked out, hearing Cristina's huff as he walked down the hallway with a slight chuckle in his voice.

* * *

><p>"And princess Meredith and prince Derek lived happily ever after!" Alex exclaimed as he watched Zoey giggle as she hugged her doll tightly.<p>

"That was a super, duper story…" Zoey said as she looked to Mark as he sat smiling. "See, Mister Mark… that's how you tell a story." She said with a giggle.

"Well, I'll try harder next time." Mark admitted with a laugh. "Geez… she's a picky one."

"Good…" Derek's voice could be heard from the doorway as he stepped through. "I don't want her to fall for guys like you…" He chuckled as he entered the room with Cristina right behind him.

"Well look at this… a room full of men…" Cristina nodded. "All doctors… quite impressive." She laughed.

"Doctor Alex was telling me a story!" Zoey exclaimed as she touched Mark's hand. "Mister Mark made all the noises when we needed them…"

"I do one mean horse clomp…" Mark nodded.

"I bet you do…" Cristina said as she shook her head.

"He's stayed at my house… it is one mean horse clomp… trust me…" Derek laughed, as they all sat down to continue to visit with the little girl that had stolen their hearts.

* * *

><p>Zoey was released from the hospital at nearly six in the evening, Derek signed the last paper for her release and walked back toward her room to get her. As he made it to the door, it opened before he could reach for the doorknob and Mark's head poked from the room. "Is she all set?" Mark asked as Derek nodded.<p>

"She's all ready…" Derek nodded as he looked down to see a little face looking up at him. "Do you have everything?" He asked as he looked up at Mark.

"I put everything in the car… she has Molly and the mouse, and…"

"Her name is Floyd." Zoey interrupted, squeezing them tighter as she pushed through the door and grabbed hold of Derek's hand, pushing herself into his leg.

"Are you ready to go to my house?" Derek asked as he felt her tiny fingers wiggling in his hand as she watched Mark.

"I'm ready to go home." She said softly as she looked up at Derek.

Derek smiled down at her, she had changed into a pair of jeans and a little pink shirt. Her socks were white with little pink hearts around the cuff, and she was wearing the sparkly pink shoes that she had worn on the first day Derek had met her. He watched as her gray eyes looked up in apprehension as she gripped his hand tighter as she bit her lower lip slightly as Derek took a step and watched as she took two to keep up with him.

Mark followed behind them, talking about something, though Derek couldn't hear a thing, his mind was racing so quickly. He had so much to think of, so many things that he had to get in order to prepare himself for this. It had happened so fast, that he hardly even had time to breathe, and since he didn't see the changes stopping any time soon, he forced himself to breathe now and then, to take a break for just a second.

"So you'll have to get her a jacket tomorrow and probably… Derek, are you even listening to me?" Mark asked as he put his hand on Derek's shoulder.

"You're clucking like a chicken, Mark." Derek replied as he looked down at Zoey as she giggled at Derek's remark. "Don't worry about it… if she's cold, she'll tell me… if she wants something to eat, she'll tell me… She's not a mute, Mark, and she's not a newborn."

"I'm a little girl Mister Mark." Zoey replied, sensing Derek's slight agitation at Mark's constant talking.

Derek walked to the elevator with Zoey attached to his hand, he pushed the button as he turned around to face Mark. "Thank you, Mark." Derek nodded. "Thank you very much for your help."

"It's no problem… but… am I still allowed to hang out at your house?"

"Of course you can come visit… alone… no women…" Derek said sternly as Mark smirked. "I'm absolutely serious." Derek said with a shake of his head. "The social workers will be at the house tomorrow afternoon… so when I get home, I'm going to make a list of all of the things that we're going to need." Derek said as he held Zoey's hand as they walked into the elevator with Mark following. "And we're going to go shopping a little tomorrow evening." He said as he looked down at the little girl. "It's going to be fun."

"Are you looking forward to staying with Just Derek, Zoey?" Mark asked as he crouched down to her level and smiled at her as she held tightly to Derek.

"Oh yes." She nodded. "I just can't wait until Just Derek shows me his sparkly pink shoes." She said with a smile as she looked up at Derek.

"Sparkly pink shoes?" Mark laughed.

"They're in the shop…" Derek chuckled as Mark stood up, watching Derek's face turn bright red as he laughed. "It's a long story…" Derek said as the elevator doors opened and they all stepped off into the lobby together. "So we'll see you around…" Derek said with a half smile to his friend, who nodded.

"Derek, if you need anything… and I mean anything… just let me know… and don't worry, I think she's going to take better care of you than you are of her." He winked.

"I wouldn't put money on that, Mark…" He said with a laugh as Zoey watched Mark.

"You're not coming with us, Mister Mark?" She asked softly as she glanced to Derek.

"Mister Mark has to stay here at the hospital and work, sweetheart." Derek said softly.

"Oh…" She said as she sighed. "Can I give you a hug?" She asked softly as she squeezed her doll and mouse in her arms.

"Of course…" Mark said softly as he crouched down and let her wrap her arms around him.

"Thank you for the story, Mister Mark." She whispered softly In his ear.

"Thank 'you' for the story, Ms. Grey." Mark said softly as he squeezed her back, kissing her cheek as she pulled from the hug and grasped Derek's hand again.

"Thanks again, man." Derek said holding his hand to Mark, who grabbed it and pulled him into a hug. "I'll see you later."

"See you guys later." Mark said as he pulled from the hug as Derek turned to walk out the door with Zoey holding his hand.

"Bye Mister Mark!" Zoey exclaimed as she walked with Derek.

"Bye, Zoey… bye Molly… Bye Floyd…" he said with a laugh as Derek shook his head, and the two of them made their way silently out the door and toward the car.

* * *

><p>Derek walked with Zoey toward the car. The evening was settling and he could feel the little girl shiver slightly as they approached the car. "We need to get you a jacket." Derek said softly as he reached for his keys and unlocked the car door, shaking his head at the bunch of balloons that had been shoved into his backseat.<p>

"Balloons!" She giggled, pointing at the them as they stuck to the ceiling of the car, Derek shook his head.

"That Mister Mark… always getting things that I never asked for."

"I like balloons, Just Derek…" She smiled as she climbed into the car seat, she jumped when she nearly sat on something in the seat and she leapt from the car when she saw what was in the seat.

"What? What's wrong?" Derek asked as he saw the shocked look on the little girl's face as she pointed into the car.

"That's Mister Derek!" She squealed as she pointed at the pink bear with the little bow seated and buckled in her car seat. "THAT IS MISTER DEREK! HOLY COW!"

"What is Mister Derek?" Derek asked as he tried to hide his smile as she climbed back into the car and stared at the bear.

"In there! In my car seat! Look! Look, Just Derek! Look!" She exclaimed as she leapt into the car and pulled at the seatbelt, pulling the bear from the car seat, she hugged the bear as tears started rolling down her cheeks. "Oh! I thought I lost you! I thought you were gone forever! Just Derek! Where did you find him?" She exclaimed as she hugged the bear as the happy tears continued to flow down her cheeks.

"He must have been waiting for you in the car this whole time!" Derek exclaimed.

"I don't believe it! How did he know that I was going to come home with you?"

"He must be a pretty smart bear…" Derek nodded as she held him at arms length and looked up at Derek with a suspicious look and then looked back at the bear.

"I don't care how he got here… he's with me now and he's not going anywhere!" She exclaimed as she hugged the bear again and turned in the seat, allowing Derek to pull the seatbelt over her lap, he buckled her in.

"Are you all set?" Derek asked as he kissed her nose as she wiggled it and giggled slightly.

"I'm all set now, Just Derek…" She said with a smile as she leaned forward and kissed his nose too, cuddling Mister Derek tightly in her arms as if everything were to fall apart if she let him go.

Derek closed her door and walked around to the driver's side. He opened the door and climbed in, looking into the rearview mirror, he watched the little girl's eyes close as she hugged the bear into her tightly. "I have a theory…" He said as he watched her look up.

"I think that other bear was a Mister Derek stand in…like… a stunt double…"

"A what?"

"I think the real Mister Derek was right here all along…" Derek nodded.

"You really think so?" She whispered as she kissed the bear and cuddled it.

"Yes I do…" Derek nodded.

"How do I know that this Mister Derek isn't going to disappear?" She whispered as she looked up at him with a worried look.

"This Mister Derek is in it for the long haul, little girl… This Mister Derek will never give up…he's the real thing, Zoey… and I'm sure that he'll do anything to make you happy." Derek replied with a smile.

"Will he get me a cheeseburger?" She asked with a smile, watching Derek grin.

"I think he can work on that." Derek said with a chuckle as he started the car and pulled out of the parking lot. He smiled as he looked down at his phone, the picture of the little pink bear that Zoey had taken when they had first met was plastered across the front as the tone indicated a text message. He looked down at the phone and chuckled slightly as he drove. The message from Mark blinked across the screen.

'I nearly had to go all the way to Portland for that bear, Derek... keep it safe.'

"I don't think that have anything to worry about." Derek whispered, as he looked into the back seat quickly, watching the little girl close her eyes, as she hugged the bear as tightly as possible.


	4. Sleeping Beauty

Derek drove towards his house, he glanced into the back seat now and then as Zoey sighed, burying her face in the teddy bear as they drove, her eyes now and then catching his as she settled comfortably in her seat. "How about we go to the house and I'll show you around… and I'll make you a cheeseburger there?"

"Okay." She said softly as she smiled, unsure of what kind of say she had in the situation anyway, she simply agreed with Derek, trusting that he would take good care of her. She wasn't sure why, but when he spoke to her, she always felt warm inside her heart. His smile never failed to bring one to her own lips, and she liked that.

"How are you feeling?" Derek asked, glancing back at her as her eyes met his.

"Okay." She said with a slight giggle as she cuddled the bear.

"Good." Derek smiled, as he watched her look into his eyes as he continued on his way home.

Derek drove down the road to where the ferries lead from, driving slowly to stop behind the car in front of him as they waited. Zoey stretched her neck to look out the window, her eyes watching the ferry boat back in, preparing to unload and load the cars. "We're going on a boat?" She asked, her voice squeaked slightly as she watched out of the window.

"Yes we are…" Derek said as he turned his head to look at the little girl. "This is a boat for cars… because there are no bridges to get to where I live." Derek explained.

"Really?" She asked, her eyes wide with wonder as they lifted the barricade for the cars to start loading onto the ferry. "Wow!" She exclaimed as she watched some of the cars drive onto the ferry boat.

"When we get onto the boat and park the car, we can walk around if you'd like…" He said softly. "I'll let you wrap my coat around you so that you don't get cold, it gets pretty chilly out there."

"Chilly…" She whispered as she watched the cars load onto the ferry.

"Alright, here we go…" Derek said as he slipped the car into drive and followed the car in front of him onto the ferry boat. Zoey's eyes remained out the window, the sun was setting, but the bright lights of the ferry and the lights of the dock kept everything bright as Derek watched the little girl stare out the window in wonder. As soon as he parked the car, she grabbed for her seatbelt.

"Let's go out there!" She exclaimed as she yanked the seatbelt off her lap and climbed down to grab the door of the car.

"Hang on, hang on… let the car behind us and next to us park and then we can get out." Derek said as she watched him carefully. She looked out the window and waited for the two cars Derek had mentioned parked as she looked back to him. "Alright…" He said softly. "I'll get out and open your door. It's pretty tight here, we don't want to hit anyone's car with the door.

"Okay." She said as she waited for Derek to climb from his seat. He pulled his jacket from around his shoulders and walked to her door, opening it slowly to let her climb out, he wrapped his jacket around her from the back. She slipped her arms into the armholes and giggled as she looked up at him.

"It's too big, Just Derek…" She giggled, standing there with the sleeves hanging down as she held her arms straight out.

"Don't you worry about that…" He laughed as he reached down and slid the sleeves up so he could see her hands. "You don't need those for anything." He said as she giggled and let him pick her up as he carried her toward the front of the ferry boat.

"Oh… Mister Derek…" She said as she pointed to the bear in the car seat as she looked up at Derek.

"Don't worry about him, he's not going anywhere…" Derek replied as he hit the button for the lock. "We'll lock it just in case he decides he wants to take a walk around the boat or something." He said as she giggled and held him tightly.

Derek walked toward the front of the ferry holding tightly to the little girl as they made their way to one of the observation decks. He sat down on one of the benches on one of the higher decks and let her sit in his lap as they waited patiently for the ferry boat to start moving. "This kind of boat is called a 'ferry boat'." Derek explained as Zoey watched him and then looked out to the darkening sky.

"A ferry boat?" She asked. "Like… a fairy godmother?"

"Um… a little different…" Derek nodded.

"Oh…" She nodded. "That's silly." She giggled.

"You're silly…" Derek replied as he held her tightly to keep her warm as they waited. The two of them remained silent for quite a while, until very gradually, the ferry began to push from the docks. Zoey hadn't noticed that they were moving yet, she continued to hold tightly to Derek. "Look at that… we're already away from the dock."

"We are?" She asked as she looked up and noticed the twinkling lights of the dock becoming smaller and smaller. "We are!" She exclaimed with a surprised smile as she continued to watch the lights. Her eyes twinkled as she watched, her hands never loosening their hold on Derek's arm as she held him tightly. He snuggled her close as he felt the cool October wind brush over him. He kissed the little girl's hair as he waited, his mind simply racing from the intense changes that his life had gone through in the past twenty four hours. He rocked the little girl carefully as they felt the ferryboat moving toward its destination and Zoey rested in his arms, slowly falling asleep in Derek's arms as they waited to reach their destination.

* * *

><p>As the ferry neared its destination, Derek stood up with Zoey in his arms. Her head was rested on his shoulder as he walked across the deck toward the car. She lifted her head slightly as he walked. "I'm so hungry…" She whimpered as she pulled on his shirt.<p>

"We'll get you something to eat as soon as we get home, sweetheart." Derek whispered as he felt her cringe slightly. "Are you alright?"

"My tummy hurts…" She whimpered as he cuddled her closer.

"Don't worry, we're almost there…" He whispered. He got to the car and opened the door, carefully sliding her into the car seat, he reached across and buckled her seatbelt for her, lifting Mister Derek into her arms. She leaned her head against the side of the car seat and looked up at Derek, her eyes were a cloudy gray as she tried her best to seem content. He could see her struggle and tried hard to reassure her that she could let down her guard. He didn't want her to exhaust herself. "Just rest… Just Derek will take care of everything else." He whispered as he closed the car door and climbed into his seat, glancing back at her as he watched the cars in front of him for a moment and prepared to drive from the ferry.

The drive from the docks toward Derek's house was relatively quiet. He pulled into his driveway and drove down the gravel road silently as he followed the headlights down the wooded path. He saw the lights of the house waiting for him at the end of the driveway and parked in front of the garage, where he always parked. He climbed from his seat and opened Zoey's door, watching the little girl looking up at him with pleading eyes. "We're home…" He shrugged.

"Home…" She whispered hesitantly as she reached for her seatbelt and pulled it off, gathering Mister Derek in her arms as she wiggled from the seat to the door. She reached her hand for Derek's and hopped from the car, looking up at the silhouette of the large house looming before her against the darkening sky. "This house is big…" She said as her jaw dropped as she looked at it.

"I think it's just right." Derek said as he reached for her hand, leading her toward the steps. "We'll get your bags and things after we eat, how does that sound?"

"Okay." She whispered, not asking any questions, unsure of exactly what to say at this point. Derek led her up the stairs of the porch to the front door, slipped the key into the lock and took a seemingly deep breath as he opened the door to the house. He flipped the switch on the light as he carefully led the little girl inside. She walked into the house hesitantly, her eyes widening at the newness of the house the enormousness of it as he led her through the foyer into the hallway.

"This is the hallway toward the kitchen…" He said as he flipped switches on as he walked, her steady steps were indications of how overwhelmed she was as she walked with him. "The downstairs bathroom is right there." He pointed to a door. "The living room is down that hallway, the family room and den are over there." He pointed as her head turned to the other direction. "This is the kitchen… dining room is over there…" he pointed to the table. Everything seemed so clean, so perfectly placed, Zoey had never seen anything like it before.

Her mother had always been too busy to deal with cleaning herself, hiring a maid service to come in twice a week. There was always something to clean up. The counters were usually covered with journal articles or research materials, her bedroom was always filled with toys and there was always one or two dolls or something sitting around. Lexie's house had been neat, but not necessarily clean. The sink usually had a couple dirty dishes and the counter always had something on it. She wasn't allowed to have toys downstairs at Lexie's house, so there was never any indication that a little girl was there. There wasn't even an indication that anyone other than Joe or Lexie ever lived there. There were no pictures on the walls, no warm colors of paint.

Derek's house, however was almost sterile clean. The moment they walked into the house she could smell the wood of the woodwork, the pine cleaner of the floors. The windows were clean and sparkly, the counters were clear and empty. It looked almost as if no one lived there, as if it were just a model home or a picture from a magazine. She looked around the pristine house and began to feel nervous.

"Hey, are you okay?" He whispered, seeing the slight look of panic in the little girl's eyes as she looked to him and stared at him for several moments. "Zoey?" She just stared at him for a moment, her mouth was slightly open, but she watched as his patience level just simply increased. He knew it was a new house, a new environment for her and he didn't want to put any pressure on her. He could tell that she was growing in anxiety. It was in her eyes, it was in the stiffness of her body. It was in the way that her tiny fingers pulsed as they gripped his hand, her bottom lip slipping into her mouth as she slowly chewed on it, her other finger lifting to her tiny chin. "Why don't we get something to eat… and we can talk a little." He said softly as she nodded, swallowing hard as she continued to look at him.

Between the ferry and the house, she seemed to have lost her voice, her bravery, her happiness and Derek could feel the anxiety that she was expressing quite obviously. It was a raw feeling that seemed to clench his heart with every beat and he was determined to quell it as soon as possible. He walked to the breakfast table beside the bay window and pulled a chair out, smiling down at her as she climbed up into it, holding Mister Derek in her hands, she looked up at him, her eyes staying with him as he gave her a sad smile. Derek crouched down beside her for a moment and watched her look at him sadly.

"What else do you lke to eat besides cheeseburgers?" He whispered as she shrugged. "Do you like… corn? Peas? Do you like… applesauce?"

"I dunno…" She whispered.

"Oh, you're going to test out my culinary talents, I see…" He said as she watched his eyes sparkle as he spoke to her in that teasing voice. "We'll start with the cheeseburger, and we'll work our way to veggies and dessert…" He said with wink as she smiled a little despite her anxiety. He stood up and kissed her forehead softly as he walked into the kitchen area. He wasn't far from her as he prepared their dinner, and she watched him carefully as he pulled the frying pan from the cupboard and prepared the cheeseburgers, smiling over at her now and then as she watched him. "You know…" He said as she listened closely to his words. "I have five nephews and nine nieces…well, of course you don't know that… but I have an idea of what little girls like or need… but I'm going to need some help…" He said as he watched her listen. "Are you up to the challenge?"

She was silent as she interpreted what he was saying, unsure of what her job was in this situation, she simply watched him. He asked again with his eyes and she just continued to stare at him.

"Do you think I'll be good at this?" He asked as he walked to the table and placed a plate in front of her as she continued watching him. He walked into the kitchen and pulled out the ketchup from the refrigerator. "Because… I want to make sure that you're happy… you know, that you get whatever you need or want, Zoey…that's important to me. I would like to know about all of the things you like." He said as he set the ketchup on the table as he looked over at her as she opened her mouth. "Cat's soup." He said with a smirk as she watched the mischief in his eyes. Her eyes lit up slightly as a smile slowly made it's way across her face.

"Cat's soup." She said with a smile as the fear in her eyes slowly began to disappear. "I…like cat's soup."

"That's a start…" Derek said with a grin as he watched her smile at him softly. "We'll work on it little by little…" He said as he walked over to finish up preparing the cheeseburgers. "But never, ever be afraid to ask me a question." He nodded as he smiled over at her, she nodded back and waited patiently for their dinner.

Derek brought the cheeseburgers to the table and talked quietly with Zoey as he prepared it the way she liked it. He watched her glance to him as she grabbed the cheeseburger with both hands and greedily munched on it, her grip was tight as if she thought he was going to rip it from her fingers.

"Woah there…" Derek said softly as he shook his head. "Don't eat so fast, you're going to get a tummy ache…" He warned as she pulled the cheeseburger from her lips and looked at him blankly. "Small bites… enjoy it…" He said as she took a tiny bite from the cheeseburger and munched it while she watched him. "There you go…" He said. His voice was soothing and soft, and she watched him as she ate slower. "You don't want a tummy ache, right?" He asked as she shook her head slowly. Her eyes were wide and worry filled as she ate the cheeseburger, her grip remaining tight on it, her fingers punching holes in the roll as she held so tightly to it.

She continued to watch him as she ate the cheeseburger, her eyes going to the remaining cheeseburger on the plate. Derek had made himself two and her one, thinking that it'd be enough to satisfy her hunger, but by the look on her face, he could see that she wanted that second cheeseburger just as much as she had wanted the first. "You're still hungry?" He asked as she looked up at him and nodded. Her tiny tongue ran its way across her top lip as she looked back at the third cheeseburger. "You want that last one, huh?" He asked, watching her nod her head. "Why don't I… cut it in half, and you can have one, and I'll have the other. Her eyes looked up at him as he said this, and he could see that she wanted the whole thing. "I don't want you to get a tummy ache."

"I'm so hungry…" She whimpered as she stared at the cheeseburger. He was surprised by her admission, the sad, solemn way in which she spoke, as if she hadn't eaten in weeks. He reached across and pushed the cheeseburger toward her, watching as she smiled softly and grabbed it quickly from the plate, taking a big bite out of it. She looked up at Derek and smiled through the bun and burger. "Fanks you…" She mumbled as the crumbs of the roll slid down her face onto the plate, her lips making a satisfying sound as she ate. He watched her curiously as she ate, and he finished his own cheeseburger.

When they were both through eating, Derek watched as she stood up directly and grabbed her plate, walking toward the sink. "Where are you going, Zoey?"

"I have to put this plate in the sink and wash it." She said, glancing back to Derek.

"You don't have to wash your plate." Derek said, standing up, he lifted his own plate and his cup and walked toward the sink.

"Yes, I have to wash it and dry it and put it away." She nodded as she looked around near the sink. "Don't you have a step up?"

"A step up? Sweetheart… don't worry about it…"

"No… no, I have to…" She whimpered. "If I don't clean my plate, then I don't get dinner tomorrow…" She whined as she tried desperately to reach the faucet. "I have to do it, Just Derek… please…. Please let me wash my plate, I want to have dinner tomorrow… I need to have dinner tomorrow!" She exclaimed as she started to cry, jumping and trying desperately to reach the sink. "Please!"

"Zoey…" Derek exclaimed as he lifted her up. He took the plate from her hand and set it in the sink as he carried her away from the sink.

"No! No, Just Derek! I need to do it!"

"Zoey… Zoey, stop... just stop for a minute… come on…" Derek whispered as she tried to struggle away from him. "Zoey, please?" He pleaded as she eventually stopped wiggling in his arms, though held her arm out toward the sink. "You are going to eat dinner whether or not that plate gets cleaned today, tomorrow or next week, Zoey…" Derek whispered. "You're never going to have to go without dinner." He whispered into her hair. "Do you understand me?" He asked. She paused as he waited. "I want you to repeat after me… okay? I want you to say… 'Just Derek loves me…' He said to her as he held her.

Her weight was heavy in his arms as he held her tightly, her eyes still on the sink as she refused to move. "Zoey… say it…please? Say 'Just Derek loves me…'" He whispered. "Just say it once…"

"Just…Derklvsme…" She mumbled together as he held her.

"Just Derek loves you, Zoey…" Derek whispered. "Just Derek loves you and he's going to make sure that you eat dinner every night… and that you have breakfast every morning… and he wants you to smile… every day… and hear your laugh, because it makes him happy…Zoey…I love you." He whispered as he kissed her hair again.

"Ilveyewjustdrk…" She mumbled as she lifted her head to look into his eyes. He swung her down to the floor and crouched down to look into her eyes.

"Are you okay?" He whispered. He watched her nod as she sighed. "Do you know what Just Derek likes to do when he's feeling sad, or worried, or lonely?" He whispered. She shook her head no as she watched his eyes. "He likes to go outside… after his dinner… and sit out on his swinging bench… cover up in a warm blanket and wait for the stars to come out…" He said softly. "Are you feeling sad… or worried… or lonely?" He asked softly as he watched her eyes stare worriedly into his.

"Yes." She whispered.

"Would you like to… sit out on the swinging bench with me?" He asked, nodding toward the back porch as he watched her chew her bottom lip.

"Can we bring a blanket?" She whispered.

"Of course…" He shook his head. "Would you like to sit out there with me?" He asked, watching her nod. "Alright…" He said softly as he reached his arms out. She stepped forward into them and hugged him tightly, letting him lift her up as she cuddled into his neck. Her eyes looked toward the sink one more time as Derek started walking toward the sliding glass doors. "Don't worry about those dishes…" He whispered as he kissed her cheek and grabbed the small blanket that was on the bench beside the door. He shook it out and wrapped it around her as he stepped out onto the porch and carried her with him, sliding it closed as he held her to him trying his damnedest to reassure her that everything had changed for the better.

* * *

><p>Derek carried the little girl in his arms to the deck, sliding the door closed to keep the warmth of the house inside. The deafening silence of the outdoors hit them hard as he cradled Zoey in his arms, wrapping her securely in the blanket, he leaned back on the bench swing, lifting his feet playfully as he allowed it to swing forward with both of them on it, his feet in the air as she looked over his arms to see that they had made it to the bench. She watched Derek's face as the movement of the swing soothed her, the blanket that was wrapped around her keeping her warm with the help of his arms.<p>

"This is my most favorite spot in my whole house…" He whispered as he looked down at her curious eyes. "It's quiet… and peaceful. It's far away from everything that makes me sad, everything that makes me lonely, everything that makes me scared." He whispered. "It can be your place to, if you want… a safe place to go when things are on your mind… if you want to get away from anything, this is the best place." He said softly as she watched him. "Do you like my place?" He whispered as she smiled softly.

"Yes." She whispered, her head nodding as she turned her head and pushed it into Derek's chest. She could feel his arms tightening around her as he gently rocked them both on the swing.

"Can I tell you what scares me?" He whispered. She turned her head and looked up at him curiously again. She nodded her head slightly in interest. "I'm scared… that… I'm not going to be able to take care of you exactly the way you need." He whispered. "I'm scared that there is going to be one thing, one… tiny thing that I'm going to forget to do, to say, to act on… that will mess things up… I'm afraid that I have the ability to make you laugh, smile, giggle… and that also means that I have the ability to make you cry… that scares me. I'm a little scared that I might spoil you too much… that in my effort to make things right… that I'm going to take a wrong turn… and give you too much, and give you unreasonable expectations…" He sighed. "I'm scared that you're not going to tell me when you need things… that you won't tell me that you're cold… you wont tell me that you're hungry or thirsty… that you have to go to the bathroom, or simply that you are scared too. I'm afraid of those things… and maybe you understand…. Or maybe you don't… but I don't want to mess this up… you up… I don't want to be in that long list of people that made you feel less than special." He whispered.

They were silent for a long time as Derek held her to him and gently rocked her on the swing. He listened to her breathing, feeling her warm body through the blanket as she just lay silently. They remained so quiet and so peaceful, that when she finally did speak up, her voice startled him a bit. "I'm afraid of thunder." She whispered.

"Thunder?" He whispered.

"Uh huh…" She nodded against him. "Thunder and lightning…"

"Oh, those can seem pretty scary…" Derek agreed as he rocked her softly, enjoying the thought of her sharing her fears with him, no matter how big or how small. "I'm scared of…creepy crawly spiders…" Derek whispered.

"Ew… me too…" She said, looking up at him to see the grimace on his face, she made an 'ick' face and shifted to look back out into the darkness of the backyard. "I'm scared of… um… the dark…"

"You're scared of the dark?" Derek asked, watching her look up at him as if she wasn't sure if he believed her or not. She nodded at him and watched his eyes as they softened. "I don't like the dark either…" He said softly. "I like the sunshine…"

"I do too…" She said softly. "The sunshine is warm."

"It sure is…" Derek nodded. "It's a good thing that the bedroom that I picked out for you has a nice big window in it…" He said softly as he watched her look back up at him. "All of the sunshine you could ever ask for is going to keep you nice and warm in your very own bedroom…" He smiled.

"I get my own bedroom?"

"You can have two if you want… but I don't think you can sleep in more than one at a time…" Derek chuckled.

"It has a window?" She asked, her eyes lighting up.

"A nice big one… and you can help me decorate it if you want… remember… I don't know much about little girl things… I think you have a lot to teach me." He said softly.

"Can we go see it now?" She asked, looking into his eyes as he watched her excitement growing with each second.

"We can go see it if you'd like…" He said as she nodded her head quickly, sliding from his lap, he chuckled as she nearly took the blanket with her.

"Let's go see it…" She said as she reached up for the handle to the door, she looked to Derek, who nodded, watching her slide it open as she stepped into the house eagerly. He followed her inside and draped the blanket over a chair as he walked inside and closed the door and locked it as she grabbed his hand and tugged on it. "Hurry, let's go… hurry, let's go…"

"What are we in such a hurry for?" He asked as he chuckled, letting her pull him down the hallway as he pointed for the stairs. "Up there…" He said as she released his hand and climbed the stairs quickly, turning to hop on her toes at the very top as Derek caught up with her.

"Hurry up, slowpoke…" She said as she felt the excitement of this new room building inside her belly, this new beginning, this new happiness. It felt strange to her to be this happy. To be this happy after being so horribly sad the night before felt so strange, but so good as she felt her ears burning in excitement, her tummy was doing flip flops as Derek approached her.

"That room right there…" He said as he pointed toward a door halfway down the hallway. "That's the room I picked out for you…"

"Wait!" She exclaimed as she put her hand out to stop him, looking up into his eyes she tilted her head in suspicion. "How did you know that I was going to live here with you?" She asked as she raised her eyebrow at him.

"I didn't…" He said in a teasing voice as he crouched down. She moved closer to him and put her hands on her hips. "But you know… I live here… and I know all of the best rooms in this whole house… and the minute I signed that paper that let me take you home with me… I knew which room you'd like best… I'm just good like that." He said, poking her nose lightly with his finger. "And what's with this Miss Attitude pose right here?" He asked, pointing out the way she was standing there looking at him. She giggled and put her arms down, turning toward the room, she moved quickly and reached for the doorknob. She looked back over at him with a curious look and waited for him to nod as he stood up, she turned the doorknob and stepped inside the dark room. It was only a second before Derek stepped in behind her, flipping the switch on the wall beside the door, and the entire room was filled with light. Her mouth opened wide at the sheer size of the room. In one end of the room lay a large queen size bed, covered with white linens. The walls were a soft cream color with white accents along the floorboards and window. The window itself was large, taking up nearly the whole wall as the soft white curtains lay delicately across its panes.

"Wowee, wow, wow!" She exclaimed.

"This is your room…" Derek said softly as he watched her walk around the bare, clean, seemingly untouched room. "Unless you don't like it." He shrugged.

"This isn't my room!" She exclaimed.

"It is… there are a couple of smaller rooms… and of course my room… but I thought you'd like this one best?"

"That's my bed?" She asked, moving quickly toward the large queen sized bed that sit in the middle of the room, she grabbed hold of the comforter and pulled herself atop it.

"We can get you a smaller bed, I think…" Derek laughed. "It'd give you a little more room to put all your toys and other things…"

"You got me toys?" She asked in wonderment, her eyes wide, her smile matching.

"Not yet… not yet…" Derek laughed. "Tomorrow… tomorrow we'll go shopping for furniture and toys, and clothes…"

"Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh, oh my gosh!" She exclaimed, flopping backwards on the bed.

"Here…" Derek said as he reached for her hand. She grasped his hand tightly and sat up. "Here, stand up…"

"On the bed?" She whispered incredulously.

"Yes… silly… stand on the bed…"

"No, I can't stand on the bed… I'll get in trouble…" She whispered.

"Who is going to yell at you?" Derek asked as she pulled herself up. "Come on… bounce…" He said as he watched her stand there on the bed stiffly, watching Derek curiously.

"Bounce?" She whispered.

"Yes… jump…" He said with a laugh. "Jump…"

"Jump?"

"Jump!" He exclaimed as he lifted her up and let her bounce. She nearly fell over onto the bed as she started to giggle when Derek caught her.

She bounced a little bit, up and down, she held tightly to Derek's hands as he held her from falling as she bounced on the bed, jumping higher and higher. "There you go!" He said as she bounced.

"I'm bouncing! I'm bouncing!" She exclaimed as she giggled and laughed as Derek laughed at her excitement.

"You are!" He exclaimed as she jumped really hard, she pulled her hands from him and bounced in a circle, bounding down hard on her bottom as she giggled and laughed.

"Oh my gosh! That was the silliest thing in the world!" She exclaimed as she rolled around on the bed laughing.

"It was, wasn't it?" He chuckled as he watched her from the side of the bed as she looked up at him and smiled. "I love that smile, you know…?" He said as she smiled brighter.

"I think I'm going to like it here in my really big room." She giggled.

"Good…" Derek said with a chuckle. "That's what I like to hear. Why don't we go downstairs and get your things… and bring them up here to your room." He said as he watched her.

"Okay…" She said as she wiggled her way off the bed. She latched onto his hand as he walked with her out the door. He switched off the light and smiled as he looked down at her.

"I only ask one thing… so far…" He said as he looked down at her as she stiffened up slightly as she looked up at him. "Never jump on the bed when I'm not around, okay?" He said with a reassuring smile. "The reason is… I don't want you to fall off and get hurt…alright?" He asked. "If you want to be silly… make sure that I'm around, okay?"

"Okay…" She nodded as she started to relax, gripping his hand tightly as they walked together downstairs to get her things.

* * *

><p>Derek and Zoey worked together in getting her things that Mark had packed in the car for her. Derek had said he could handle it, but Zoey insisted on helping, not wanting to be a burden on him already. She smiled as she held Molly and Floyd in her arms as she carried them to the house, watching Derek holding the three bags that Mark had gathered full of clothing and other items. Zoey held the door open for Derek and as he stepped into the house, she closed it behind him. He turned and smiled at her, the balloons from the car hanging from his wrist.<p>

"Thank you." He said with a smile as she grinned brightly at him.

"It's no problem, Just Derek." She said as she watched him set the bags on the ground. "We should bring them upstairs…. I don't want to make your pretty house all messy." She said as she looked around at the cleanliness of the house. She glanced to Derek and noticed he tilted his head.

"You think my house is too clean?" He asked, watching her nod her head as he smirked at her. "I never thought of it that way…"

"Well you're not around too many kids, huh, Just Derek?" She asked as she cuddled Molly in her arms.

"No, I can't say that I am around many kids… at least not at my house… work, and back in New York, but not so much here in my house… so you think I should mess it up a little, huh?"

"I think so." She nodded as she looked around.

"You think I should have more fun things?" He asked. "More toys…?"

She poked her chin with her finger as she looked around the room. "Hm… toys would be a good idea…" She nodded. How about a swing set in the kitchen?"

Derek laughed out loud as she grinned. "A swing set in the kitchen?" He asked.

"Yes! It could make cooking a lot more fun!"

"Oh you are a silly one, aren't you?" Derek asked as she giggled. "But you're right… I think my house is too clean... too clean for a kid… I mean, we don't want those social services people to come here and think I'm an old fuddy duddy…" He nodded.

"A fuddy duddy?" She giggled.

"Yeah… an old fuddy duddy that doesn't know how to have fun…" He chuckled as he laughed, watching her yawn as she covered her mouth, rubbing her eye with her hand as she looked up at Derek. "Well look at that…it looks like someone is tired…"

"No…" She said softly.

Derek smiled as he shook his head. He looked to his watch and smiled over at her. "My watch is ticking that it's almost nine thirty…" He nodded. "We should probably get you to bed…"

"But… No…" She whimpered as she watched Derek and looked worriedly toward the stairs. "I don't want to go to bed…" She whimpered.

"What's wrong with bed?" He whispered as he tilted his head as she looked up at him. "What's so wrong with bed?"

"Bed is… um… I can't go to bed…" She said stubbornly.

"Why not?"

"I… don't want… to… I um… don't lock my door…" She whimpered.

"Don't lock your door? Why would I lock your door?"

"So I won't sneak out…" She whispered as she looked around nervously.

"Are you planning on sneaking out?" He whispered back as she shook her head.

"Um, no…" She said, giggling a little as she shook her head.

"Then there's no reason to even close your door… if you don't want me to…I'll even take the door off the hinges if you don't believe me…" He said as he smiled at her with a wink. He then reached his hand out. "Let's go change you into some pajamas… and get you to bed, and we'll tell some stories before sleepy time."

"Stories? Will you tell the story about Prince Derek and Princess Meredith?" She asked as she walked up the steps slowly as Derek released her hand and grabbed her bags.

"I don't know if I know that one…" Derek said with a soft smile as she walked up the stairs with Derek right behind her.

"I'll help you get it started…" She said as she watched him. "And you can finish it…"

"Sounds like a good plan…" Derek said as he smiled. "But be gentle… I'm new at this story telling stuff…"

"I'm new at the happily ever after…" She replied as she hopped onto the top step and made her way toward her new bedroom.

* * *

><p>Zoey changed into her pajamas and walked out into the hallway silently. She looked down one way and back the other. "Just Derek?" She whimpered as she stepped out into the hallway, hearing a sound in one of the rooms, she jumped back, slamming the door.<p>

"Zoey?" Derek said as he stepped out into the hallway from his bedroom, closing the door, he walked down toward her closed bedroom door. "Zoey?" He said as he knocked on the door. He waited a moment and she didn't answer. "Zoey, baby?" He whispered as he opened the door and peeked inside, finding nothing but a lump in the middle of the bed beneath the blankets. It was a tiny lump, but a lump just the same, and it made Derek concerned that she would hide from him. "Are you hiding on me, little girl?" He whispered, hoping that it was a game, though knowing from the way the little lump was shivering, that it was not a game at all. "Zoey…" Derek said softly as he knelt beside the bed and watched the little lump tremble.

"Don't pull the blanket off me." She whimpered under the covers.

"Okay… I won't…" He said watching her carefully as she continued to tremble.

"Don't touch me!" She exclaimed.

"I'm not going to touch you…" Derek replied. "Zoey… just… just look at me…" He whispered.

"I don't wanna!" She exclaimed. "You left!"

"I was in my bedroom, Zoey… we can't always be in the same room…"

"Yes we can!" She exclaimed, pulling the blankets down off her face, it revealed her red, sweaty, tear streaked face. "Yes we can, yes we can!" She exclaimed.

"Zoey, stop this right now." Derek said sternly as he shook his head with a concerned scowl.

"No! No! No!" She exclaimed, watching Derek stand up. "Where are you going?" She exclaimed desperately as she reached for him, tears continuing to stream down her cheeks.

"There are things that you have to understand here, Zoey…" Derek shook his head as he knelt beside the bed again. "This isn't Lexie's house… this isn't Lexie's rules… this isn't the same as anything that you have had… so you have to stop expecting something is going to sneak up behind you… or hurt you… or leave you… you have to trust me, Zoey…do you trust me?"

"Yes…" She whimpered.

"Am I going to go anywhere far away for a long, long time?"

"I don't know…"

"Probably not… and do you know why?"

"Why?"

"Because I love you… and I want to take care of you… and I need you to trust me…I need you to stop being afraid of me, Zoey… I've never done anything to make you cry… if you need me, you call me… and I'll try my best to be there, or send someone important to be with you… now are we going to tell his story, or are you going to lay under those blankets like a bump on a log?"

"A bump on a log?" She giggled.

"May I sit beside you on the bed?" He asked politely as she nodded, moving over, she patted the spot beside her as Derek climbed onto the bed beside her and lay back as she cuddled up against him. "So how do we start the story?" He whispered as she looked up into his eyes.

"Once upon a time…" She said with a smile. "There was a beautiful princess named Meredith…"

* * *

><p>"Meredith… it was her…" Cristina whispered as she stood above her friend's bed and watched her resting body. "Your little girl… you're little princess, and you moved for her… you moved for her, Meredith…Did you hear her voice? You'd be so proud of her, she sounds just like you… I wish you could just open your eyes and see her… you stubborn pain in the ass… I wish that you could talk to her… hold her, love her… She calls you 'Sleeping Beauty…" Cristina whispered. "I just wish it were possible for her to wake you with a kiss… I miss you, Meredith…" Cristina swallowed hard as she leaned forward and kissed her friend's forehead, gently placing her hand to her side as she watched her friend as she slowly made her way to the door, taking one more look at her friend before slipping out into the hallway to go to sleep.<p>

_I miss you too, Cristina._


	5. Maneuvering the Maze

Derek woke on his stomach, his head hanging off the end of the bed. He looked straight down at the floor, not moving as he lay there, the blankets beneath him were not his own. He could feel the weight of something on his back, curled into the curve of his back with small wisps of blonde hair falling into his face, tickling his nose. He could feel the gentle tickle of a little girl's breath as it floated over his face and into his ear. Two hands were gripping his tshirt as he lay there still, feeling the light of the morning sun beating into the room like a pounding drum, causing small beads of perspiration to wet his skin. He was going to lift his head, when he heard the shuffle of feet in the doorway, but stopped himself.

There was the sound of light chuckling, and the identifiable feet of his friend. "What are you laughing at?" Derek asked as he looked up, shifting the tiny body atop him as he glared at Mark as he leaned against the doorway.

"It looks like you were trying to get away, and she leapt onto your back!" Mark whispered with a laugh, unable to resist the urge to tease his friend.

"She was having a bad dream…" Derek whispered. "She had a lot of bad dreams…"

"What do you expect?" Mark shook his head as he walked over and sat on the edge of the bed. He watched the little girl sleep on his friend's back, her tiny lips smacking in her sleep as she snored lightly.

"And she snores!" Derek whispered loudly.

"Aw…" Mark chuckled. "It's a sweet sound…"

"It sounds like a chainsaw when it's in your ear…" Derek said as he watched Mark laugh. "You're so amused…"

"She's adorable…" Mark replied. "A little monkey on your back…"

"She is adorable…" Derek replied, trying not to move too much, though his neck was hurting from being in that strange position for so long. "Could you…?"

"Sure." Mark said as he leaned forward and lifted the tiny girl from his friend's back, watching Derek roll over, he placed the still sleeping child onto Derek's chest, watching as he gently rubbed her back as she smacked he lips and slowly opened her eyes. She then suddenly jumped back, her eyes flashing to Derek in shock for a moment as her brain slowly worked on the realization of where she was. She gave him a sleepy smile and lay her head back on his chest, her eyes finding their way to the other person in the room.

"Mister Mark…" She whispered as she turned her head to look at Derek. "Just Derek… Mister Mark is here…" She said sleepily as she wiggled her fingers in a slow wave to Mark.

"Yes… yes he is… Mister Mark, why are you here?" Derek said grumpily as he yawned a big yawn.

"I was in the neighborhood… I thought I'd check on you guys to see how you were before I went home to bed." He replied.

"Mark, you can walk to the hospital from your apartment… why would you take the forty five minute ferry ride to my house just to check on me?"

"To make sure that you get up in time for the social services people… and that you don't end up feeding your little guest here Muesli…ick… ick, ick, ick…The kid has been through enough... you should feed her real food."

"Muesli is healthy..."

"Muesli is like eating a box of stale cardboard…"

"I like it…"

"Do you eat the spoon when you're done?" He asked as Zoey rolled over onto the bed, sitting beside Derek.

Derek looked up at the clock and groaned. "The Social Services people are supposed to be here at ten… you had better be out of here by then… I don't want them thinking that we're a couple." Derek grumbled as Zoey crawled a little and stood up at Mark.

Mark lifted her into his arms and smiled, looking down at his friend. "Oh sweetheart… you worry too much…" He said in a flamboyant voice, pretending to flip his hair back he strutted out of the bedroom.

"I am serious, Mark!" Derek exclaimed as he groaned, crawling out of the bed, he followed after him.

When Derek reached the kitchen and walked inside, his jaw dropped at what he saw. Zoey was sitting at the table watching Mark carefully as he poured six bowls of cereal, each holding an individual spoon.

"Mark! What are you doing?" Derek asked as Mark looked up at him innocently. Littered on the table were six individual size cereal boxes, torn and opened lying across the table as Mark held the container of milk in his hand.

"What's her favorite kind of cereal?" Mark asked.

"I don't know, I didn't ask her yet…" Derek replied.

"Derek, Derek, Derek… breakfast is the most important meal of the day! Breakfast… can decide your whole mood for the day…" Mark shook his head as he looked down at the six bowls of cereal and over to Zoey. "What's your favorite kind of cereal?"

"I dunno…" She shrugged.

"See… she dunno what her favorite cereal is." Mark said as he started pouring milk into one of the bowls. "Here, try this one…" He said, sliding the bowl to Zoey, she grabbed the spoon and shoved a mouthful into her open mouth. She munched down on it and looked up at Derek.

"Mmm…" She crunched as drips of milk fell out of the corner of her mouth.

"Mark, you're making a mess…" Derek grumbled as Zoey looked over the table and viewed the different bowls.

"I want to try that one." She pointed at the bowl with the Apple Jacks in it.

"That one?" Mark asked, pouring milk into the bowl, he slid it over to her and grabbed the bowl that she had already started and shoved a mouthful into his mouth as she shoved a mouthful into hers. "Mmm… mishish good…" He said as he spit milk as he talked.

"Mark, that's disgusting!" Derek exclaimed as he watched Mark poured milk into a third bowl with Muesli in it.

"Here… eat this and hush…" He slid the bowl toward Derek and looked over at Zoey as she shoved another mouthful of cereal into her mouth and grinned, giggling at Mark's cereal filled grin at her.

When all of the cereal was gone, and the six bowls sit on the table, milk droplets littering the wooden surface as the three of them sit looking at one another as Zoey sat anxiously looking at the table. "You said my house was too clean." Derek nodded. He looked up at Mark and smiled. "My house is never clean with Mister Mark around…"

"He's messy…" Zoey agreed.

"I'm not messy… I'm comfortable." Mark replied as he stood up and started to gather the bowls off the table. Zoey started to stand up to help and Derek reached out and touched her hand.

"He made the mess… you let him clean it up." Derek nodded as Zoey watched Mark and nodded slowly.

"She wants to help me?" Mark asked as he walked over to the sink.

"We're foregoing chores for a little while." Derek replied as he watched Mark rinse out the sink. "She's my guest… not my personal slave." Derek said, giving Zoey a half smile. "How was the graveyard shift?"

"It wasn't bad… wasn't bad… a couple traumas came in, nothing too big." Mark nodded. "What are the big plans for today? Gonna go down to kids r' us and go wild?" He asked with a silly voice.

"We're going to get the things we need." Derek nodded. "Some clothes and toys…a swingset for the kitchen…" He teased as Zoey giggled.

"A swingset for the kitchen? I always thought you should get one of those…"

"Mark…child present…" Derek nodded.

"I was going to say um… tree forts or something."

"I'm sure you were." Derek chuckled. "Then… I thought we'd go to the hospital to see Meredith." Derek nodded, glancing to Zoey, who's eyes lit up.

"Who is Meredith?"

"Sleeping Beauty!" Zoey exclaimed.

"It's… Lexie's sister." Derek said as he tried to broach the subject lightly as he knew that Zoey was listening very clearly.

"Lexie's sister… so an aunt?" Mark asked, giving Derek a strange look as he shook his head.

"Not an aunt...?" He asked.

"No..." Derek sighed as Mark seemingly thought he understood, but needed to confirm it.

"She's in the hospital?"

"She has been in the hospital for over six years now." Derek said, his eyes looking intensely into Mark's eyes as Mark watched the strange look on Derek's face.

"Six years?" Mark asked, his eyes flashing to Zoey as Derek nodded. "What's wrong with her?" Mark asked softly.

"PVS…" Derek replied. "Brought on by stress and depression."

"So you're going to visit her?" Mark asked.

"Who is it going to hurt?" Derek asked as he looked up at the sound of the doorbell.

"Crap, I gotta go…" Mark said as he put the last bowl in the dishwasher and walked toward Zoey.

"Thank you for breakfast, Mister Mark." Zoey said as he leaned down and kissed her cheek softly.

"Thank you for breakfast…I'll sneak out the back…" He winked as he touched the top of her head and made his way toward the back door.

"Crap…" Derek said as he stood up and glanced toward Zoey. "We should probably get you dressed… run on upstairs… and find some clothes, I'll come up and help you if you need it… I'll let them inside…" He said as Zoey nodded and hopped from her chair, jogging out of the room toward the stairs.

"Good luck man…" Mark said with a smirk as he slipped out, leaving Derek to answer the door alone.

* * *

><p>Derek made it to the door quickly, opening the door to the man and woman who were obviously dressed for an interview. Derek looked down at his t-shirt and sweats and immediately felt underdressed. He knew he had to play this cool, so he just stuck his hand out and smiled a genuine smile. "Good morning…" he said with a smile as he tilted his head. "I'm Derek Shepherd… I apologize for my appearance…" He chuckled. "We just got through with breakfast."<p>

"Oh…" The woman smiled politely as she shook his hand. "It's no problem at all…" She said as the man shook his hand next. "I'm Mary Nolan, and this is Martin Sampson."

"Well Ms. Nolan, Mr. Sampson… come on in and make yourself at home. I should run upstairs and change into something a little more presentable." He said as he ushered them inside. "Zoey is upstairs changing right now…" He said politely as they looked around as they walked into the house.

"Mr. Shepherd, you have a beautiful house." Ms. Nolan said as she looked around at the pristine condition of the foyer and surrounding rooms.

"Thank you." Derek said proudly. "I designed it myself… and saw it through the entire building process. In fact, it was just finished earlier this year." He nodded as they looked around. "As I said, make yourself at home… take a look around… we'll be right down." He said as he closed the door behind them and made his way upstairs.

He walked up the steps and saw the light on in Zoey's room. "Zoey, are you doing alright in there?" He called as he listened to her going through her things.

"I can't find nothing to wear!" She exclaimed from the bedroom. Derek chuckled as he walked toward the room, finding her pulling clothes from her bag, throwing them across the room into haphazard piles.

"Woah, woah… You're making a mess…" Derek said as he walked up quickly behind her, stopping when he noticed her cringe. She turned quickly and faced him, her eyes were filled with a bit of fear, though she was more nervous that Derek had seen her reaction. "You alright?"

"Uh… huh…" She nodded. "I don't see what I want to wear." She said as she pointed to the bag.

"What do you want to wear?" He asked, his eyebrows raised as he looked at the bags.

"Um… a pretty purple shirt… with my blue jeans…" She said, pointing at her blue jeans across the room.

"Well, go get your jeans and set them on the bed…" Derek said as he watched her run across the room to grab the jeans. She set them on the bed and looked up at him. Derek looked through the bag carefully, pulling out a long sleeved purple shirt with little pink flowers on it. "How about this one?"

"Oh! Very good taste…" She nodded as she walked over to Derek and lifted it from his hands. "Thank you, Just Derek…" She smiled as she set the shirt on the bed next to her jeans.

"I will be right back… I'll knock on your door when I come back, I'm just going to get changed in my room, okay?"

"Okay…" She nodded as she watched Derek slip out of the room, closing the door. When he was out the door, she walked cautiously toward the door and reached for the knob. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest as she swallowed hard. She turned the knob and the door opened easily. She opened the door and peeked out, seeing Derek walking into his room. She smiled at the thought of her door not being locked, closed the door and proceeded to get dressed.

When Derek had thrown on a pair of jeans and a clean t-shirt, he ran a comb through his hair quickly and walked back down the hallway. He knocked on the door lightly and waited for her reply.

The door opened and Zoey stood there with a big grin. She had put her jeans and her shirt on and had her bag in her hand. She reached it up to Derek.

"What's this?"

"Hair stuff…" She said as she grinned.

"Hair stuff?"

"Yes." She replied. "Can you braid my hair so it looks pretty?"

"Um…"

"Just Derek?" she whispered as she tilted her head.

"I am not… I don't…" Derek stammered as she watched him carefully.

"Can you help me brush my hair?" She asked as she handed him the brush in her other hand.

"That… that, I can do…" Derek nodded as he took the brush and reached for her hand, leading her over to the bed.

He sat her in his lap and carefully pulled the brush through her blonde locks, being sure not to pull too hard as she happily sat and let him groom her. She looked to him, her gray eyes sparkling as he brushed it so lightly. "You're very good at this…" She smiled as she giggled.

"Well… I've had hair for a little while…" He winked. "I think I can handle this much…" He said as she laughed as he finished brushing her hair. "Alright…" Derek said as he looked at his handiwork, and the smiling little girl sliding from his lap. "Are you ready to go downstairs and meet our guests?"

"Um… yes…" She whispered.

"They're probably going to ask you some questions… so if you get scared, you can hold my hand…"

"Are they going to scare me?"

"I don't know, sweetheart… they seem pretty nice… but you know, they have to make sure that I am able to take care of you well… so you don't get hurt or sad again…" He nodded. "So you don't have to go through what you've gone through ever again…" He whispered.

"Thank you for saving me, Just Derek." She whispered, reaching her arms out to him. He paused for only a moment, simply to look into her eyes, as he reached his arms out to her and enveloped her into a big hug.

"Thank you for saving me…" He whispered, kissing her head. "I love you…"

"I love you." She whispered back, holding back her tears of happiness that she was finally in the arms of someone she knew would take care of her.

* * *

><p>Derek held the little girl's hand as they very slowly walked down the stairs together. Zoey peeked around Derek as they neared the bottom, her feet slowing as he reassured her with a soft squeeze of her hand. She looked up at him and he winked at her, watching her lips curl into a smile, she took a deep breath as she released Derke's hand and bounded down the stairs in front of him. "Zoey…" Derek said as the little girl flitted into the living room where the social workers were sitting.<p>

"Hi, I'm Zoey and I like it here… don't take me away from Just Derek… he gave me my own room with big windows and tells me that he loves me and he makes sure I eat cheeseburgers and cereal… and he has a friend named Mister Mark who comes here and gives me hugs and kisses and makes sure that I smile a lot… later we're going shopping for toys and furniture and then we're going to go visit Sleeping Beauty, so please don't take me away from him… he's my best friend and…" Zoey trailed on.

Derek lifted the rambling girl into his arms as he smile down at the social workers. "She's a bit of a rambler…" Derek said with a soft smile as the little girl's lip stuck out as she gripped Derek tightly.

"I'm just telling them…" She whimpered as she looked to the man and woman as they gave her a kind smile.

"Why don't you sit down with us…" The woman asked the little girl, who nodded softly.

"Zoey, this is Ms. Nolan and Mr. Martin…" Derek said as the little girl's mouth opened and closed as if she wanted to speak but couldn't think of what to say. "Go ahead and say hello." Derek replied as he smiled across at them as he sat down with Zoey on his lap.

"Hi." She said, her voice was soft and sweet as she watched them cautiously, her hand kneading into Derek's leg as she gripped his pant leg.

"Hi, Zoey…" Mr. Martin said softly as the little girl's eyes flashed to him and then to the woman. "How are you doing today?"

"Um… super duper." She said, nodding seriously.

"Wow… super duper… that sounds really good." Ms. Nolan replied.

"Uh huh… don't take me away from Just Derek." She blurted out. The social worker's eyebrows raised at the little girl's words and Derek smiled.

"She calls me Just Derek because when she first met me, she asked me what she could call me, and I said Just Derek… and it kind of stuck…" Derek smiled as the little girl continued to watch the two of them cautiously.

"She seems very attached to you, Mr. Shepherd." Mr. Martin said softly.

"She's been through more than any kid should go through, Mr. Martin. She's been through more than any adult should go through. She's a smart, she's funny, she's sweet… and if she feels comfortable with me, I'm perfectly fine with her being attached for a little while."

"You do know that she must be enrolled in school as soon as possible?"

"We went over this yesterday." He nodded. "I have this week off to get everything settled with the school, to get her used to the idea of going to school. She was homeschooled in New York… and I know that she can read a little… she knows her numbers, and is a very quick learner. I am meeting with the school on Thursday." Derek nodded.

"You're a surgeon, Mr. Shepherd?"

"I am a doctor, yes… working my way to surgeon. I am currently in my third year of my residency."

"I'm sure that takes up a lot of your time."

"It does, it can… but with the guidance of my boss and other staff members, I am able to manage my time. I have the support of my friends, of which Zoey also trusts in the instance that I need help or a babysitter. I have experience with children." Derek said, his voice beginning to sound almost bored as he explained his credential yet again. "I come from a large family, and have been around children my entire life, so I'm not a stranger to how to raise them. I'm a doctor, I know what to do when a child has the sniffles, if they have a fever… I know how to take care of a child." Derek said softly, finishing his sentence sternly as he watched the social workers watch him.

"Are you currently in a relationship?" The woman asked.

"Not at this time." Derek replied. "I am not promiscuous… my last relationship lasted three years and ended because the woman was not ready to settle down. Me? I'm ready to settle down, I'm prepared to have a family and I have more love for this little girl than you could ever even fathom…and it kills me inside to know what happened to her. Every time she cringes or recoils, my heart breaks a little more. She's innocent and pure and deserves to be treated that way." Derek said as Zoey watched the determination in his eyes.

"Well…" Mr. Martin said softly as he cleared his throat. "From your information given yesterday, we were able to run a background check. Everything came out fine… you seem to be a model citizen, Mr. Shepherd. We'd like to… first take a tour of the house if possible… and then we would be on our way…"

"You're not taking me away, are you?" Zoey spoke up.

"We're not taking you anywhere, sweetheart." Mr. Martin said with a shake of his head. "You seem to be very loved here, Zoey."

"Just Derek does love me." Zoey said with a whisper as she continued to watch the strangers suspiciously. Derek leaned into her ear and watched her smile as he whispered. "Would you like to see my new bedroom?" She asked as she glanced to Derek. The man and woman nodded and smiled, watching as Zoey slipped from Derek's lap to the floor and made her way quickly to the stairs. "Come on up…" She waved at them. "Come on up to my new bedroom!" She exclaimed as she walked up the stairs quickly as the social workers followed behind, with Derek watching the little spirit disappear down the hallway.

* * *

><p><em>So here we are again, you're yanking on my ever loving body while I lay here innocently crying out for you to… shit… stop that…for you to stop. Why won't you leave me the hell alo….aaaahhhh oww! Alone! Leave me alone! Izzie, stop it! Stop it! Stop it!<em>

Izzie could feel Meredith's muscles tightening as she exercised her joints, a daily activity that had to be done to keep her muscles and joints pliable and less stiff. The process was painful for Meredith, and if she could communicate the pain she was feeling, she would. Izzie very carefully lay her friend's leg onto the bed and reached for her other leg.

_Jesus, Izzie… do you enjoy torturing me? Do you? Do you really enjoy doing this to me. First you read me smutty magazines about who is marrying who in Hollywood, and now you are subjecting to pain that is almost as unbearable. You should be working in a prison! You have man hands, Izzie! OW! Fucking… fuck fuck…_

Izzie stopped the physical therapy as the door opened slightly, Cristina popped her head in. "How are her lungs?" Cristina asked as she watched Izzie look up.

_Oh, thank God… thank God you're here, Cris! She's torturing me! Tell her to stop torturing me… I'll do anything…_

"Her lungs are clear… the antibiotics are doing their job, she's almost done with the regiment of medication." Izzie nodded. "I'm almost through with her physical therapy, and I was going to give her something to relax her muscles. They seem a lot stiffer than they were a couple of days ago. I hope that her muscles aren't further atrophying."

"She's probably trying to tell you to leave her the hell alone."

_Thank you, Cristina._

"Meredith…" Cristina said as she looked down at her friend as she lay there every so peacefully. "If you want her to leave you the hell alone, just tell her."

"Cris, don't be an ass!" Izzie exclaimed.

_I would, Cris! Trust me, I would!_

"Derek is going to be here soon with Zoey." Cristina said to Izzie.

"Zoey? Why is he bringing her here?"

_My baby?_

"He wants to visit Meredith." Cristina replied.

_Who is Derek?_

"He shouldn't be bringing her here."  
><em><br>Shut up, Izzie!_

"Shut up Izzie." Cristina replied as she sighed.

"Cristina, it's a bad idea…"

"She has no one, Meredith is her mother. Meredith needs her."

"Meredith isn't getting better, Cristina. Putting the little girl through this is just being cruel!"

"No more cruel then leaving her with her aunt who let her abusive ass of a boyfriend near her!"

_What? Lexie did what?_

"Lexie can't take care of her and you just let her attach herself to one of your doctors… she's supposed to be your responsibility, Cristina! She's supposed to be in YOUR care!"

_Cristina?_

"Derek is perfectly fit to take care of her, Izzie… and if Meredith had left you as her daughter's guardian… if she trusted YOU to take care of her daughter… then we would be having a different discussion here… but I think Meredith would trust me in this decision, that she would trust that I would find a person who is worthy enough to take care of her child…"

_What happened to Lexie? Where is Zoey? The boyfriend… did he hurt her? Did he hurt my baby? Where is she? She was here yesterday, you said she was here yesterday… where is she? Who is Derek? Was he the person holding my hand yesterday? Was he the person who was here with my baby? _

"Shit, her blood pressure is rising…" Izzie muttered as she walked over to her monitor to assess the issue.

"It's probably from all of the negative energy you're bringing into the room." Cristina muttered as she touched Meredith's hand.

"I am not bringing negative energy into the room!" Izzie exclaimed as she reached for the IV to see if she could figure out what was making Meredith's blood pressure rise. They both turned their heads as the door opened and tiny feet flitted across the room.

"Oh. My. Gosh!" The sound of a little girl's voice could be heard as they looked down at the little girl as she stood there holding a handful of balloons, dressed with a brand new pink jacket, pink shoes, and little pink ribbons in her hair as she grinned brightly. "You would NOT believe the day I had!" She said excitedly to anyone who would listen.

Derek dragged into the room behind her, a slight smirk on his face as he looked between Cristina and Izzie as they just stared at his exhausted, smirking self. "I believe it…" He muttered with a chuckle as Izzie's eyes went back to the monitor as Meredith's pressure slowly normalized.

* * *

><p>Cristina looked down at the little girl as she stood grinning brightly, and back to Derek. "Holy crap, Derek… what did you do to her?"<p>

"What do you mean, what did I do to her?" Derek asked as he walked up to Zoey and lifted her into his arms. She reached up and unzipped her jacket and showed off her brand new sparkly pink t-shirt.

"You like… she… she's smiling and… and she's giggling… she looks like a giant pink elephant puked on her…" Cristina said as she walked up to the little girl as Derek bounced her a bit.

_I love that sound. She sounds happy._

"Say hi to Aunt Cristina…" Derek said as the little girl smiled.

"Hi, Aunt Cristina…" She smiled.

"Aunt Cristina…" Cristina smiled as the little girl let the words roll from her tongue. "I like the sound of that…what's with all of the pink?"

"She likes pink." Derek shrugged.

"I LOVE pink!" She exclaimed as she glanced to Izzie quickly. "Hi." She said quickly as she pulled herself into Derek a little. She remembered Izzie, but she couldn't remember her name, so her shyness shone through for a moment.

"Hi." Izzie said with a slight smile as she watched the smile on Derek's face. "I'm Izzie…" She said as she held her hand out to Derek. "I… we weren't formally introduced… I'm Dr. Yang's friend… Meredith's friend… her nurse…"

_Meredith's torture specializing, man handling, gossip rag reading, nurse._

"Dr. Derek Shepherd…It's nice to meet you." Derek nodded as he glanced to the bed. "We brought Meredith some balloons…" Derek said as he let the little girl slide from his arms as she ran toward the bed.

"Balloons, huh?" Cristina said smiling as the little girl tried to knot the balloons to the bed. "I'm sure Meredith would enjoy them… if… she knew they were here and all…"

_I know they're here. I wonder what color they are._

"Well, it cheers up the room a little… you can't have her laying here in this sterile nasty room without something colorful to warm it up…"

_A sensitive man… they do exist… and he's a doctor… if I didn't know any better Cristina Yang, I'd think you're setting me up._

"The pink elephant must have thrown up on you too…" Cristina said as she watched the little girl stare down at Meredith, her hands remaining on the small railing beside the bed as she watched her rest there.

"Does she get many visitors?" Derek asked softly as he watched the little girl watch her, her fingers dancing over the railing as she simply smiled at the woman.

"Not too often…" Cristina nodded. "Like I said, I would visit her when her father was around… and then when Lexie was caring for her, I'd see her only now and then… Izzie stayed there most of the time…She administers her medicine, does physical therapy… we all talk to her… tell her the news… tell her what day it is, what its doing outside." Cristina explained.

_Tells me who is sleeping with who in the hospital… Oh, Cris… you should hear what she said about you last week… you'd kill her._

"Cris is convinced that Meredith is still in there somewhere… that she can still hear us talking to her…"

_I'm still not convinced that Izzie is still inside Izzie…_

"You don't believe that?" Derek asked, watching Izzie curiously.

"I don't know what to believe." Izzie said softly. "But it's in my instructions to talk to her… to let her know… just in case there is someone in there…"

_I think they stuck her with me because I can't talk back. _

"It's alright that we visit, right?" Derek asked, glancing to Izzie as she cringed slightly, and to Cristina, who nodded.

"I want you to visit." Cristina replied. "I know she's in there somewhere… and I know she's going to get better…"

"You really don't know that." Izzie retorted.

_Shut up, Izzie. I've been listening to the same crap for six years… it will be nice to get a new perception… besides… it's my baby… why does everyone want to keep taking my baby away from me?_

"I think you're done with Mer's physical therapy now…" Cristina said softly. "Why don't you fold some towels or get her meds ready for tomorrow… hell… why don't you just leave early, save us all the misery of having to listen to the negativity that you bring into this room." Her voice lowering to a growl.

"Cristina…" Izzie said in protest as Cristina just shook her head.

"Meredith has guests…" Cristina said softly. "And whether or not she can hear what they're saying to her, or they can make her better… or whatever… she deserves visitors… and she deserves this visitor." She said nodding toward Zoey. "So why don't we just leave them alone… let them tell Meredith all about their shopping experience… and you and I will go do other aspects of our job that need to be done." Cristina replied with a growl.

"Cris, I…"

"I don't care what you think…" Cristina shook her head. "Let's go… Derek, Zoey… have a nice visit…"

"We'll find you before we leave." Derek nodded as Cristina nodded and walked toward the door, but not before grabbing Izzie's arm and nearly removing her from the room herself.

Derek stood for a moment, his eyes drifting from the door to the bed in the room. The sounds from the monitors were low and steady, the woman's breathing was steady as well, moving in time with the machines. He observed for a moment, his eyes trailing from her feet to her face, angelic and peaceful as she lay motionless.

_She's watching me. My baby is here, I can feel her near me. I can feel her watching me. I want to hold her. I want to hold her… I just want to hold her, just once… just touch her._

He allowed his eyes to travel to the little girl, her blonde hair color matching the color of the woman in the bed's, her eyes grey and solemn as she watched her sleeping beauty sleep. Derek wondered for a moment what color the woman's eyes were, he wondered if they matched the color of her daughter's, if they could be just as bright, just as happy, just as wide as the little girl who stood against her bed, being ever so careful not to disturb her as she watched her carefully.

_He's watching me too. Why aren't they saying anything? I thought they were going to visit me… most visitors talk, why aren't they talking? Talk to me… tell me about yourself… tell me about your day, about the pink things you're wearing… the balloons… please? I'm begging… please talk to me… get me out of this prison…just for a moment... please?_

His eyes traveled back to Meredith, watching her steady breathing and the thin pale complexion of her skin. He shook his head as he sighed.

"Just Derek?" The tiny voice broke through his thoughts as his eyes fell upon those shining gray eyes that he had been thinking about. "If she's sleeping beauty…" She whispered, knowing that she had his undivided attention. "If she's sleeping beauty… can't you wake her up with a kiss?" She asked, swallowing hard as she waited patiently for his response.

_I wish I could cry._

* * *

><p>Derek paused for a moment, the girl's eyes looking directly into his as her posed question floated into the air for just a moment and slammed into the ground like a box full of bricks, shattering on impact as she continued to look at him. "Just Derek?" She whispered, swallowing hard again as her voice rose to a near whimper.<p>

Derek stepped forward and reached for the chair beside the bed. "You think that a kiss would wake her up?" He asked softly as he reached his hand to her. She took it gently and pulled on his hand as she lifted herself into his lap. He reached up and helped her pull her coat from her shoulders, hanging it over the side of the chair, he pushed his chair even closer.

"That's how the story goes, isn't it?" She whispered. "The prince came to the sleeping beauty's house and kissed her, and she woke up… maybe you should kiss her to see if it works…"

_Encouraging relationships with people she hardly knows… she's definitely my daughter…_

"She doesn't even know who I am…" Derek whispered as he reached out to touch Meredith's hand.

"That's okay… the princess didn't know who the prince was… and he kissed her…" She shrugged.

"Maybe I should introduce myself first…" Derek nodded. "So she knows who I am."

"But she's sleeping, Just Derek… how is she going to know you're here?"

"I have a feeling that she knows that we're here… I think she knows that you're here to visit her…I think that she is very happy that you're here to visit with her."

_That's the understatement of the century. _

"Okay then… get on with it." She sighed. "Meet her and kiss her and then she'll wake up…" She huffed impatiently as she waited for Derek to make his move.

Derek paused for a moment, looking to the other side of the room where her bag was leaning against the wall from when he walked in. "I have an idea…" He said softly as he pointed to the bag. "Why don't you get your crayons out of your bag…sit on the floor… color for a couple of minutes… and I'll talk to Meredith… and when I'm through, you can come back up here and visit…and describe to her what your picture looks like…"

_Smart man, I like you already…_

She looked at Derek curiously for a moment, as if he were trying to pull one over on her. She looked to Meredith and back to Derek. "Alright…" She nodded. "But don't hog her too much… I want my turn…"

"Don't worry, you'll get your turn…" Derek said with a soft smile as he felt the little girl slip from his lap. He sat for a moment in silence as he watched Zoey pull her coloring book from her bag. He then turned his attention to the sleeping woman. "Meredith…" Derek whispered as he very gently squeezed her hand in his. "My name is Doctor Derek Shepherd.. I'm a… surgeon here at Seattle Grace… I am twenty six years old…a third year resident, actually… and I would like to get to know you better." He said softly.

"I… hope you don't mind me visiting you… and if you can hear me… deep within your sleeping trance… I hope that you know who this very sweet young lady with me is..." Derek swallowed hard and continued. "I feel a little funny right now, talking to you… since obviously you can't reply, and you don't know me… but… um… there might be some things that you don't know about… I think that Izzie… that's her name… right? I think she probably keeps some of the most important information from you… and as… her mother, you deserve to know the truth." He nodded.

"I don't want this to sound like a confession, and I don't want it to sound like I'm using you as a form of therapy… but really, truly… you should know what is going on with your little girl… and I think it's very important that you're a part of her life." He whispered.

"I have been told of your circumstances… the um… death of your boyfriend… the birth of your daughter… your subsequent depression and your mother's apparent abandonment. I would never be able to endure what you have gone through." Derek cleared his throat. "If I were to experience those things, I'd want nothing more than to be gone…to have held on for six years, is absolutely amazing… and it gives me hope that there is something that could bring you out of it. " He said softly.

"Um… I met Zoey a few months ago… your mother had passed away… and she was sent to live with your half sister…" Derek shook his head. "She… um… Zoey… she did something to my heart when I met her at the airport that day… she had been left to fend for herself waiting for the plane… why in the world someone would leave a six year old girl under the guidance of a flight attendant in a New York airport is beyond me… and it made me so upset…so I talked to her… became her friend…and flew from New York to Seattle with her… making sure she was off with Lexie… as safe as I could assure she was… the next day, in fact… I had seen her because she had stolen my pager while we were on the plane… the little thief…" He chuckled as he told the story.

"But… Lexie was nice enough to allow me to call and talk to her, to develop a relationship… she never told me of anything going wrong…Zoey or Lexie… but… I guess that Lexie had a boyfriend in the home… Joe… I don't know if you had heard him… if you knew of him…"

"He… didn't… I don't want you to think that… as far as we can tell, most of his abuse was psychological… not physical… and… Zoey has been handling this very well… I don't want you to be upset…I think Lexie took the brunt of his abuse, and tried her very best to protect Zoey from him…It breaks my heart… to even think of it, to think of this sweet little girl going through that…" Derek whispered, tears rolling down his cheeks as he cried. "Lexie and Joe had one more fight… while you were here at the hospital and he hurt Lexie really badly… but she defended herself strongly… and Joe… and somehow… and…" Derek sniffled. "Lexie ended up killing him." He whispered.

"She… was beaten pretty badly and unconscious when Zoey found her… she was upstairs when the fighting was going on. Zoey called the police… and she's been with me since she came into the hospital." Derek whispered. "Cristina… was able to use your living will to give custody to me… temporary custody, Meredith…until you're better… because I know you're going to be better… You're going to get to hear her call you Mommy…you will be able to open your eyes, Meredith and see your little girl."

_Why are you doing this to me? Why are you saying these things? All I ever wanted was my little girl, that's all I've ever wanted was to hold her…_

"She's beautiful, Meredith. She's absolutely beautiful… She has your hair… and the shape of your face is the same…and her eyes are the most beautiful gray green-blue that I have ever seen." Derek cleared his throat.

"She's a very special little girl… she's special to me… and I promise from the bottom of my heart. I vow… that I will care for her and love her and take care of her for you. I promise that she will know who her mother is… her real mother because what your own mother did was cruel and wrong… and you deserved ever right to have this child in your life and it was just cruel for your mother to take her away from you and to lie to her. I promise that she will visit with you as often as possible... I promise that… because you deserve it and she deserves it…" Derek whispered as he continued to allow his tears to roll down his cheeks.

_Oh… oh, please don't cry, Derek. Don't do this to me, I can't handle this… I can't see you or see her, I can't cry out in agony, I feel too much pain… please don't cry…_

"Just Derek?" Zoey whispered as she approached him in the chair. She held a page from her drawing pad in her hand as she held it up to him. "Are you crying?" She whispered.

"Maybe a little." He sniffled as he rubbed his eyes with his hands. "I'll be alright, sweetheart… I'll be alright…"

"Can I talk to sleeping beauty now?" She asked softly as she looked up at Derek and tilted her head.

"You want to talk to sleeping beauty, huh?" Derek whispered as she nodded solemnly. He reached his hands down and lifted her into his lap, watching as she reached her hand out to touch Meredith's.

"I want to hold her hand like you held her hand." She said, glancing to Derek.

_Please let her hold my hand…_

"You like her an awful lot, don't you?" Derek whispered, watching as the little girl looked to the resting woman.

"I love her, Derek... she's very prettyful..."

"She is..." Derek nodded as he watched her grasp her hand tightly.

"Sleeping beauty…" She said with a smile as she lifted the paper she had been coloring. "I know you can't see it now, but I drew you a picture…" She said with a smile.

"Describe it to her… tell her what you drew…" Derek said softly.

"Um… it's a picture of you… and me and Prince Derek…"

_You are quite persistent, aren't you?_

"That's Prince Derek, huh?" Derek asked with a chuckle as he pointed to the black haired person in the picture.

"Yes." She nodded.

"He's very handsome…"

_Someone is quite full of themselves…_

"He's okay." She said with a giggle as Derek opened his mouth in surprise. "He's handsome, he's handsome!" She giggled as he tickled her, making her wiggle and let go of Meredith's hand for a moment. "Just Derek, stop tickling me!"

"I love your laugh…" He said with a chuckle, wondering for a moment if her mother had the same laugh.

_I love it too… make her laugh again, Derek… please?_

"Well… I don't love your tickling…" She said, somewhat stubbornly with a smile on her face.

"You were laughing pretty hard for someone who doesn't love my tickling…"

"You're silly, Just Derek…" She laughed as she looked back at Meredith as Derek looked at her little girl smile. He thought for a moment about the pain that this woman must have gone through, losing the love of her life, her child, her mother, her family. She was just an empty shell, a body being kept alive by tubes and machines. She was alone except for the sad visits from her friends, the almost nonexistent presence of her family, and despite the love that Cristina had mentioned was felt by people in the hospital, he had never heard her mention anyone by name, or even seen anyone this far down the hallway.

He watched the woman lying there and wondered for a moment if she did indeed hear the banter of her friends, the happiness of her daughter, feel the warmth of their hands in hers. He remembered when she had moved her thumb, gently stroking his hand as he sit there. Cristina had mentioned that she hadn't moved in nearly a year unless Izzie was the one moving her body. She just wasn't there physically, but the warmth of his hand had caused her to come alive. He didn't know if she knew he was there, if she knew that her daughter was there, but he also knew that it couldn't hurt for this tiny creature filled with love and innocence to show her the affection that he could only imagine she had yearned for since she had become sick.

She had carried this child for nine months. She had given birth to this child, this product of the man she loved in her womb. She had nurtured and loved this child and in a few short months, it was all whisked away from her along with her faculties, her mind, her body, and her ability to express her wants, her needs, her loves and passions.

"Zoey." Derek whispered, noticing that the little girl had suddenly become quiet as she watched the sleeping woman before her. She turned and looked into Derek's eyes and then back to Meredith.

"Just Derek?" She whispered.

"Hmm…" He whispered.

"May I cuddle with her?" She whimpered.

_Please?_

"Cuddle with her?" Derek whispered.

"She looks cold." She whimpered. "She looks lonely…"

_Please?_

Derek lifted her from his lap for a moment, not saying a word he stood and carefully moved Meredith's arm slightly. "You have to be careful." He whispered.

"I'll be careful." She whispered.

"Alright…" He said as he lifted her up. He placed her bottom on the bed and reached down to pull her sneakers off. "No shoes on the bed…" He said with a soft smile as she smiled back at him. "Here…" he whispered, carefully helping her to lay down with her head resting on Meredith's shoulder, Derek very carefully lifted Meredith's hand to her chest, where Zoey stretched her arm around the sleeping woman, her hand resting on Meredith's. She lifted her head and looked at Meredith's face.

"She's like a sleeping angel, Just Derek." She whispered.

"She's not an angel, Zoey." Derek whispered as he watched the little girl press her body against her mother. "She's the real thing." He said softly, as he reached forward and touched her forehead, pushing her hair aside slightly, as Zoey leaned up and lay a delicate kiss on her cheek, Derek watched as so slowly, and so delicately, a single teardrop slipped down Meredith's face. He didn't know whether it belonged to Meredith or Zoey, but he knew that in the big picture, that it didn't matter. Zoey was home, and after six long years, Meredith was finally able to hold her baby again.

* * *

><p>Derek sat in the chair beside Meredith's bed while Zoey lay curled against her tightly. The little girl's gray eyes stared out at him for several minutes as he tilted his head and watched her stare at him. She had a curious sparkle about her playful eyes and Derek smiled softly.<p>

"You look happy…" He whispered gently as she nodded against Meredith's shoulder as she watched him over her body, closing her eyes tightly for a moment as she gripped Meredith's hospital gown.

_I am happy._

"Why is she here?" Zoey asked softly as she lifted her head. "Why is she all alone here, why isn't she home? She was at Lexie's house… She's Lexie's sister… Izzie said that… Why is she at the hospital? Why is she here now? Is she sick?"

"She was sick…" Derek nodded. "She's… better…" He paused, knowing that what was wrong with Meredith was difficult enough to explain to himself, let alone a curious six year old.

"Why is she still sleeping, then?" She asked, her curiousness getting the better of her as she sat up in the bed. "Why is she still sleeping if she's better?"

"Well, she was brought into the hospital for a different reason, sweetheart… she had a cold… the reason she's sleeping is totally different for why she's here in the hospital."

"Why won't she wake up?"

"We don't know, sweetheart. She is just sick… and sometimes it's hard for doctors to be able to figure out what is wrong with their patients… I only just met her yesterday… and I don't know much about her history."

"When you find her history, can you wake her up? You're a good doctor… you made me feel better! You can wake her up, Just Derek, right? You can wake her up…She's Lexie's family… so she's my family, right? You can wake her up, right? You can because you're a doctor!" She whimpered.

_Don't do this to her, Derek. Don't make a promise… Don't make promises you can't follow through on. Don't break her heart… Please… please don't break her heart._

"Zoey…" Derek said softly, watching her carefully as she gripped Meredith's gown tightly. Her mind was racing as she stared at Derek, her brow furrowed with frustration as she watched him. "I can take care of you… and I can make sure that you have someone to love you, and clothes to wear, and food to eat… but I will never make a promise to you that I don't fully intend on keeping." He whispered, watching her nod. "I promise…" He whispered.

_Don't do it, Derek._

"I promise that I'll take care of Meredith too." He whispered. "We can spend time with her and talk to her, draw pictures for her… sing to her, cuddle with her… It isn't fair… you know… what she's gone through… to be sick, and not be able to wake up… it's not fair to her." He whispered.

"No." She shook her head.

"So she needs people to take care of her… She needs people to talk to her and love her… and be here for her… because she doesn't have anyone to look after her like some people do. That's another reason she's here… She was staying at Lexie's house, and now Lexie is hurt…she's here because she doesn't have another home to go to." Derek explained, resisting the urge to just spit out what he was thinking, when Zoey did just that.

_Good save…_

"She can come home with us!" Zoey exclaimed suddenly, her face lighting up as she squealed in delight, watching Derek's eyes carefully as they refused to falter.

_Yeah, Just Derek… what do you say to that? Just when you thought you had everything figured out, the six year old bests you… Did you say you were a neurosurgeon?_

"I… she wouldn't want to live with us…" Derek replied, shaking his head.

"Please, Just Derek? She would love to live with us! She would love it! You have lots of rooms and we could decorate it for her and keep her company! We could tell her stories and stuff! I can draw her pictures! Izzie can come and take care of the nurse stuff, and all of that… Please, Just Derek? Please? You said she has no one to take care of her, we can take care of her! I love her so much, Just Derek… I love her so much… you can take back all of the toys that we bought today, take back all of the clothes! Just let her stay with us… please… please?"

"Zoey… she's a person… she's not a puppy…" Derek mumbled as his conversation with Cristina screamed in his ears.

"She's my family, Just Derek… if we don't take care of her… who will?" She asked desperately as she stared into his eyes, his mouth hanging open as he stared at the eagerness in her face, waiting patiently for his answer.

_Speechless, huh?_

* * *

><p>Derek closed his mouth quickly and looked deeply into the little girl's eyes. "If we take her home with us, how am I going to be able to do tests?"<p>

"Tests?" Zoey asked. "Is she going to school?"

"No… no, silly… but you know… I don't have the equipment or the helpers at my house that I'd be able to get here. If we're here at the hospital, she can be fed and taken care of, and get her physical therapy… and not have to worry about being brought to the hospital if she gets sick."

"But she wouldn't get sick… we'd take care of her, Just Derek."

"Sometimes you can't help getting sick… and if you're in school, and she's at home… a cold could follow you home."

"I don't want to go to school, then." Zoey said stubbornly.

_And to think that you were doing so well there for a couple minutes..._

"But you have to go to school, so that you don't have to sit around and be bored all day while you wait for me to get out of work."

"I can stay here with Sleeping Beauty."

_  
>Kid: 1 , Neurosurgeon: 0.<em>

"Zoey…" Derek said softly.

_Uh oh, here comes the coddling tone… I can just feel it._

"Huh?" She sighed.

"Why don't we talk to Aunt Cristina… see what she thinks about it?"

_Oh! Making Cristina the bad guy! She's going to see right through it! She will so kick your ass… talk to her in here, I want to hear this._

Derek looked up as the door opened slowly, a familiar head popped its way in. "Mister Mark!" Zoey said excitedly as she leapt from the bed to the floor in one quick movement, running across to be lifted high in the air by Mark.

"Little Monkey!" he exclaimed as he kissed the little girl's cheek and looked over to Derek as he sat looking perplexed.

_  
>Mister Mark?<em>

"What's going on?" Mark asked as he walked toward the bed and looked down at the sleeping woman.

"Just Derek and me might take Sleeping Beauty home if Aunt Cristina says we can!"

"Oh, you don't want that." Mark said as he shook his head.

"Why not?" She whispered as she glanced to Derek.

"It's a lot of responsibility… I'd just wait it out… let Sleeping Beauty rest here at the hospital where she can get all the help and comfort that she needs… Just Derek is here when he's working, and he'll be able to check on her all day long… and you will be able to see her after school… it'll work out great!"

"So she should stay here?"

"I think it'd be best." Mark replied. "But that's just my opinion." He shrugged. "What do you think, Derek?"

_Oh, he's good… _

"He thinks she should stay…" Zoey nodded.

"I think she needs to be somewhere she'll be safe… and well taken care of until I get you situated in my house… then we can talk about inviting others to stay with us." Derek nodded. "You working tonight?" Derek asked, watching Mark nod and sigh.

"How did the shopping expedition go?" He asked nonchalantly as he sat down with the little girl in his lap.

"Why don't you ask the little shopaholic you have right there…" Derek nodded with a smile, as they settled back and relaxed.

* * *

><p>"You have absolutely no idea the extended family that Barbie has." Derek said as he and Mark sat in chairs across from one another as they watched Zoey play with her dolls on the floor. "I mean… there's Barbie, Ken, Stacie, Skipper… and like seven billion other brothers and sisters… she has…"<p>

"Barbie is stacked." Mark said, nodding his head as he stared off into space, not really talking to Derek specifically.

_Oh… I have one who is over sensitive, and the other is undersexed… and these are my daughter's influences? _

"Then she has her Beach house, her condo… her castle, her winter house…"

"I think she had a boob job though, you know?" He said as he lifted one of Zoey's Barbie and held the doll in his hand, turning it, he looked to make sure Zoey wasn't looking and lifted it's shirt. "Yeah… she definitely had those lifted… I should know, I'm in plastics…" Mark said matter of factly.

_Yes… Any thoughts of these two being a couple have been stricken from my mind… This Mister Mark is definitely not gay._

"Give me that!" Derek exclaimed as he pulled the doll from Mark's hand.

"So we're playing with dolls now?" The sarcastic sound of Cristina's voice dripped into the room as both men's heads turned.

_Oh Cris, don't ruin my fun…_

"What do you want?" Mark asked with a sarcastic smirk as he watched Cristina step into the room.

"I'm checking in on my friend… what are you doing here?"

"Formally meeting Meredith…" He said as he stood up.

"Doesn't your shift start… five minutes ago?"

"It might…" Mark said as he stepped close to her, staring down at her as he smirked, watching her glare on him follow him around the room.

"Mister Mark was just telling us about Barbie's boob job." Zoey said as she looked up at Cristina.

_HAHA! YOU DID NOT JUST SAY THAT! Oh… If I could just see the look on his face right now!_

Derek burst out laughing as Mark began to turn red. He took a step back and glanced down to Zoey, who was looking up at Mark with a bright smile. "I… have… to go…" he nodded as he blew a kiss to Zoey. "See you later Monkey girl…"

"Bye, Mister Mark!" She exclaimed with a happy smile as Mark disappeared out the door.

"Boob job, Derek?" Cristina asked, trying not to laugh as Derek shook his head as he continued to laugh.

"I didn't say a word… I didn't say a word!" He laughed as Cristina sat down in the chair that Mark had previously occupied.

* * *

><p>"So… besides educating the six year old on the anatomy of her dolls, what other mischief have you been up to?" Cristina snapped as she crossed her arms across her chest.<p>

"We were discussing the fine art of eating spaghetti, the intricacies of lego creations, and the difference between the yellow-green crayon and the green-yellow crayon." Derek replied immediately as he nodded his head.

_Sharp… very sharp, this Just Derek._

"Clever." Cristina said as she glanced to Zoey. "Have you given any inclination as to the identity of a particular side dish…"

_Hey! I am not a vegetable!_

"Firstly, I'd agree that she is quite a dish, maybe it's not appropriate to refer to her as 'Mer-shed taters' or 'Carrot top'. She's in there, Cris." Derek said softly as he watched Cristina stare back at him with a scowl.

_Thank you, Just Derek…Derek…I think._

"You've been here for quite a while." Cristina nodded. "Do you really think the psychiatric ward of a hospital is where you should be hanging out with a six year old?"

"Well, that's what I wanted to discuss with you." Derek said with a sigh as he sat back. "I think Meredith should be moved to a different floor." He said matter of factly.

"Oh, you do, do you?" Cristina laughed.

"I do." Derek nodded.

"And what floor do you think she should be moved to.

"Surgical."

"Surgical?" Cristina laughed.

_Surgical?_

"Yes… because I don't think what is wrong with her is something to do with depression… she needs more tests done."

"No." Cristina said as she started to stand up.

"Cristina?" Derek asked.

"No tests… absolutely no tests." Cristina argued.

"How can you say that, she's your best friend…"

"She's my best friend, but I'm not about to get this hospital sued… You have no idea how badly I want to do those tests, Derek… you have absolutely no idea how hard I have fought with this hospital to have one simple MRI done… one CT scan… there will be no tests unless it is absolutely necessary!" Cristina exclaimed.

"Wow." Derek said as he watched her reddened face as she leaned toward him.

"What?" She grunted angrily.

"They've really scared you…" He whispered.

"I've been threatened on every level, Derek. I have no say in the matter."

"Except that her mother is dead."

"Her mother is dead… but her lawyer is still alive… and he has a very good memory… and as long as there is money in that trust fund, her mother made it abundantly clear that absolutely no tests were to be done.

"She shouldn't be on this floor, Cristina."

"You don't have to tell me that." Cristina said as she stood up. "Visiting… visiting hours are over, Derek… you guys should go…" She said anxiously as she looked down at the little girl and then back to Derek.

_Don't make them go!_

"We'll be back tomorrow…" He said, watching Cristina avoid eye contact. "Zoey, why don't we get going… we have a lot of work to do to decorate your room." He said as she looked up and smiled.

"Yeah! Decorations!" She said as she jumped up and grabbed her dolls.

_She is so freaking adorable!_

"Put your toys in your bag and then say goodbye to Sleeping Beauty." He said as he watched the little girl hop over to her bag and start putting her things away. She put her toys away and Derek watched Cristina as her eyes remained on her friend for the longest time.

"Cris." Derek said as he watched Zoey walk over to him and hold her arms up for him to lift her. He lifted her into his arms as Cristina looked up at him. "What is that thing that you always said about interns…about their brains…" He said as he stepped close to the bed.

"I said that interns brains are like swiss cheese… hard, full of holes… and when you say something, it goes into one ear, bounces around for a few minutes but it never fails to fall right out the other." She replied as she watched Derek hold the little girl over Meredith as she leaned in and kissed her cheek. She whispered something soft to Meredith and pulled back as Derek lifted her into his arms and leaned down to pick up Zoey's back pack. "Why do you ask?"

"Consider this the first day of my internship." He said quickly as he walked toward the door and turned around as he waved, letting Zoey wave as well, as he pushed himself and Zoey out the door, leaving Cristina standing surprised as she watched the door close behind them.

_Kick ass!_


	6. Hello

**One week later-**

"Just Derek! Just Derek! Just Derek! Just Derek!" Zoey called from upstairs as she hopped about.

"What on earth is all the yelling for?" Derek asked as he walked through the hallway, picking up a toy here and there as he got to the bottom of the stairs.

"I cannot find my shoe!"

"It's in your hand…" He said, pointing at the shoe on the little girl's hand as she looked down at it.

"Not that one, the pink sparkly shoes! I don't know where they are! I want to wear those!"

"Did you check in your closet?"

"No."

"Hurry… if you want to stop by the hospital before school, you have to hurry…"

"Oh no!" She squealed as she turned and took off toward her room.

"You crazy nut…" Derek whispered as he listened to her squealing in delight as she hopped around upstairs upon finding her shoes. It took only a moment and her smiling face was coming toward him as her little pigtails bounced as she bounded down the stairs.

"I am so ready! I am so ready! I am so ready!"

"Where's your backpack?" Derek asked with a chuckle.

"I am so not ready… I am so not ready… I am so not ready…" She panted as she turned and ran back up the stairs to get her backpack as Derek laughed, waiting for her to come back downstairs so they could leave.

* * *

><p><em>Derek said that they were going to visit this morning. He said it was her first day of school and he wants to share it with me. Why is he the only person that seems to believe that I can hear everyone? My baby is going to kindergarten… Oh… I wish I could just hold her… hug her and tell her that I'm proud of her. I wish she knew who I was. What time is it? It has to be morning… it feels like morning… With my luck, it's the middle of the night. It probably is… Izzie came in once already… it has to be morning, where are they? If they don't show up, I'll be so disappointed.<em>

The door opened slowly and Derek popped his head in. "No! Move!" Zoey exclaimed, bursting through the door as she pushed Derek. "Haha! I beat you! I soooo beat you!" She exclaimed as she hopped around, her backpack on her back as she watched Derek laugh.

"You did not beat me… I made it here first…" Derek teased.

"No, you didn't have your feets in here! My feets were in here, so I won fair and square, Just Der!"

"Oh, clever… clever, clever, clever…"

"Hiya Sleeping Beauty!" She exclaimed as Derek shook his head at her. She climbed up onto the chair beside the bed and waved down at her. "Just Derek… it's about time you kissed her and woke her up! You read her history, right?"

_Persistent...and a bit bossy... are you sure you haven't been hanging around with Cristina?_

"I read some of it this week, yes… but it's a lot of complicated stuff… you need to be patient… and it may take more than a kiss…" Derek chuckled as he shook his head. "Tell Meredith what day it is today."

"Today is my first day of school!" She said proudly. "I told you last week that I met my teacher Mrs. Morris… she's real friendly and she said I'm going to have lots of fun in her class. Just Derek thought it'd be a good idea to come in here and tell you about my new school clothes… I'm wearing my pink sweater and jeans and pink sparkly shoes… and I asked Just Derek where his pink sparkly shoes are and he said that he sent them away to get refitted because his feet got big!" She laughed uproariously as she held Meredith's hand.

"He said if I do real good in school then we're going to go out to dinner tonight at a fancy restaurant! I wish you could go… I wish you could go to the nice fancy restaurant with us… maybe when you wake up… I told Just Derek to kiss you to wake you up and he wont do it… I think he's just shy… he thinks you're prettyful, he told me that… he told me that…"

"Hey, you're telling all my secrets…" Derek teased as Zoey looked back at him and smiled.

_Are you blushing, Mr. Neurosurgeon?_

"I should go now, school is going to start soon… and I want to make sure I get a good parking space…"

"Desk… a good desk…" Derek laughed.

"Yes, where I park my behind…" She giggled as Derek shook his head.

_Hahaha!_

"Alright…" Derek said softly, reaching his hand to Meredith's. "Tell Sleeping Beauty that you'll see her after school…" He said softly, wrapping his fingers in hers, feeling her soft skin against his.

"Bye, Sleeping Beauty… I love you…" She said softly as she smiled up at Derek.

"Here…" Derek said as he leaned close to Zoey. He lifted Meredith's hand carefully.

_What are you doing?_

"What?" She asked, looking at Meredith's hand.

"Let her hold your cheek… let her feel your smile…" Derek said with a smirk.

_Oh… Oh my God…_

"I like that…" Zoey said with a sparkle in her eye as she leaned forward toward Meredith's face, lifting the woman's hand to her cheek, she leaned into it softly. "Can you feel my smile, Sleeping Beauty…"

_It's in my fingertips… her smile is…she's so beautiful… she's so absolutely beautiful._

Zoey continued to lean forward with Meredith's hand on her lips, rubbing her soft thumb along her smile as she placed kisses on her fingertips.

_You are so beautiful…_

Derek watched her lean over Meredith when suddenly, she jumped back with a small gasp. "Oh!" She squealed as she looked up at Derek. "Sleeping Beauty…. She opened her eyes, Just Derek! She opened her eyes and looked at me!" She exclaimed as she pointed down at Meredith as Derek looked down at the woman before her, her eyes still closed, the peaceful look on her face seemingly more at peace as Zoey looked up at him. "She did! I swear!"

"She looked at you?" Derek whispered, his voice all but incredulous as she nodded. He looked to the monitors, noticing that there was a slight change in her heart rate, her brain activity slightly more intense.

"She's waking up!" Zoey exclaimed as she reached forward and put her hands on Meredith's cheeks. "Sleeping Beauty… " She whispered. "It's time to wake up…" She swallowed hard as a tear began to form in her eye.

"Oh, don't cry, princess…" Derek whispered.

"You don't believe me…" She whimpered.

"I believe you… I do…" Derek nodded. "Let's get going… we should get to school… we don't want to be late for the first day…"

"No… no we don't…" She said, wiping the tear from her eye quickly.

"We can stop back after school… and after I'm done with work…" He whispered.

"Okay…." She whimpered, nodding.

"Let's go…tell Meredith you'll see her later…" He said with a smile.

"See you later, Sleeping beauty!" She exclaimed, as she carefully climbed from the chair and grasped Derek's hand.

"See you later, Meredith…" Derek said softly.

_I'll see you… later…_

* * *

><p>Derek walked toward the elevator with Zoey as she skipped along beside him, her backpack securely on her back, the smile returned to her face as she kept up with him. "So, how far is school?"<p>

"Down the street…" Derek said with a smile. "We're going to walk from the hospital… it's not far at all."

"Oh! We get to take a walk?" She asked with a giggle as she grabbed hold of Derek's hand as they stepped into the elevator.

"We do, we do…" Derek said with a smile as he watched her bounce a little on her heels as the doors closed and the elevator moved to the floor that the lobby is on. She looked up at him and watched him as the elevator doors opened. They stepped out into the lobby and he looked ahead, her eyes still watching him carefully as he walked along with a smile.

She then noticed as his smile slowly disappeared, replaced with an anxious, almost angry look as they walked. She looked forward and noticed a woman coming in their direction. She had said Derek's name and that was how she had gotten Derek's attention, and was now heading right for them. Derek's smile had completely disappeared from his face and his gait had become sluggish as he took a deep breath.

"Derek… where are you going in such a rush!" The woman exclaimed as she pretended to not notice Zoey at first, when in reality she was the only reason that she had even chosen to give Derek the time of day.

"I have an appointment." He said, trying to move past her, his body movements were stiff and his jaw was clenching.

"Oh! Well look here… who is your little friend?" She said in a saccharine sweet voice as she crouched down toward Zoey. Zoey hid behind Derek for a moment as she scowled at the woman.

"I'm not little." She growled, her small voice squeaked as she looked up to Derek.

"She's not little." Derek replied as he tried to move past her. "She's late for school, Rachel, we have to go." He said with an angry growl as he felt Zoey grab his hand with both of hers.

"You don't have to be so rude, Derek." She said sternly as she finally felt the chill in his stare, and looked down at the little girl. "I was just asking a question."

"And I am under no obligation to give you an answer." He replied as he stepped around her as he and Zoey walked toward the door. Rachel watched them walk toward the door and noticed Derek relax as someone came in the door, hearing the squeal of the little girl, she looked over to see Mark Sloan lifting her in the air as she giggled wildly, Derek standing nearby as he talked to Mark for a moment.

Derek nodded as he talked, and Rachel watched Mark give the little girl a kiss on her cheek and lift her to the floor as he held his hand out for her to give him a high five. She then watched Derek take the little girl's hand and walk out the door as Mark walked toward the elevator.

She followed after him, catching up as they reached the elevator, he pushed the button as she came up alongside him. "Mark…" She said with a half smile as he didn't acknowledge her at first. "Mark, come on… act like a grown up…"

"What do you want, Rachel…?" He asked with a grunt.

"Who is that little girl with Derek?" She whispered, watching Mark smirk a little as the elevator doors opened.

"That's Zoey." He said with a smirk. "Derek's girl from New York." He chuckled, walking away from her as she stepped onto the elevator, and he took the stairs.

* * *

><p>Derek held Zoey's hand tightly as they walked out of the doors. She had a bit of a skip in her step as she chattered and gripped Derek's hand tightly. She looked up at him and noticed that his smile had still not returned. "Just Derek?" She said as she watched his eyes come down to hers. His smile slowly slid upon his lips and his eyebrows raised. "Who was that lady?" She asked softly as she gave his hand a squeeze and watched his smile start to disappear. "Was she your friend?" She asked innocently, watching Derek watch her as he looked ahead and back down at her.<p>

"She used to be…" Derek said with a nod. "She was my friend a while ago…" Derek replied as he tried to smile, giving her a fake smirk.

"Did she hurt your heart?" Zoey asked as she watched him swallow hard, his fake smile turning sad as he tried another attempt at a smile, a little more real knowing that this little spirit was trying to make him happy.

"Yep… she hurt my heart…" Derek said as he suddenly swung her up, grabbing her side as he pulled her into his arms as she squealed and giggled. "And that sound right there… that's the bandage…" He said as he watched her smile at him as she giggled in his arms, wrapping her arm around his neck for a hug as he turned toward the street where the school was.

He held her securely as they walked toward the school, the sound of children filled the air as they also entered the building. Zoey's eyes widened when she saw the jungle gym, the slides and swings. "Wowee, wow, wow…" She said as he grinned at Derek.

"Alright…" Derek said as he set her to the ground and held her hand as they stared up at the building. "I'm just as scared about this as you are."

"I'm not scared…" She shrugged.

"And if you get nervous or scared or sad… you tell the teacher…make sure you tell the teacher."

"I'm not nervous or scared or sad." She replied.

"And if you have to go to the bathroom, remember to tell them, and they'll give you the pass… don't wait until the last minute and then you end up like… dancing down the hallway as you try to hold it, running past other people's classrooms shouting... 'I have to pee, I have to pee… get out of my way, I have to pee!' I'm not sure that's ladylike."

"HAHA!" Zoey exclaimed in a fit of giggles as Derek laughed as she shook her head. She grabbed his hand and grinned. "Same goes for you, Just Derek."

Derek laughed as she smiled. "Are you ready?"

"I'm ready!" She exclaimed as she bounced on her heels.

"Set?" he asked as she giggled.

"Set!"

"Let's go!" Derek exclaimed as he grabbed her hand and the two of them made it up the steps of the school, and Zoey's first day of kindergarten.

* * *

><p><em>I wonder how her first day of school is going. I wonder if she was scared. She sounded so excited when she was here, she sounded so happy. Derek sounded like he was the worried one, and Zoey… I… finally saw her… oh… I just want to cry… She is so beautiful, so absolutely beautiful. I wish I could thank Derek for letting her sit with me… for coming here on her first day of school, sharing that with me. I wish he knew how much it means to me. I wish I could tell him how much it means to have touched her face, felt her smile, seen her eyes. I wish he knew.<em>

She was so lost in her thoughts that she failed to hear the door open and the feet of the person walking across the room, the eyes of the person beside her as he spoke, pulling her from her constant stream of thought. "Meredith." Derek's voice chimed softly, his voice soft and happy as she stopped her thoughts for a moment, listening to him sit down.  
><em><br>What are you doing here?_

"I was working… and just finished with a surgery… I thought I'd come and visit you for lunch. If you don't mind." Derek said with a soft smile as he took her hand for a moment and squeezed it.  
><em><br>I actually had other plans._

"Your little one made it to kindergarten, safe and sound… and is surviving her first day."

_She's brave._

"Though I can't say that I'm surviving too well. I've had her with me for a week, and I miss her terribly… wow… I sound pathetic… or I think I do… she's just had such an impact on me… she really touches my heart. She is a very amazing little girl." Derek sighed with a smile.

_I am very proud of her._

"You know… when she said you opened your eyes this morning… I think that it made her day."

_It made my year, Derek. You have no idea._

"I believe her, you know… when she says you opened your eyes… I do believe her, and I'm going to believe her until I see it for myself." He whispered as he reached forward to touch Meredith's cheek.

_Maybe you will. I don't know you well enough yet for that, now do I?_

_Did I just giggle?_

"When I dropped her off at school this morning, the first thing she did was introduce herself to her teacher. She was so brave, I was so proud of her. She always reaches her hand out…" He said as he held Meredith's hand firmly in his. "And she says. 'My name is Zoey Grey… nice to meet you'… It's probably one of the cutest things I've seen, really… and she was so brave, introducing me to her teacher, she got a little mixed up when she tried to introduce me, she didn't know what to call me… She calls me Just Derek… of course, but she didn't know what 'relation' I was… so I told the teacher that I was her 'DD' , her Designated Derek…"  
><em><br>Hahaha… her 'DD'… that's cute!_

"I hope that you don't mind me having my lunch with you today… I mean… I usually sit in the cafeteria with Mark… but I saw my ex-girlfriend today, and I really don't want to talk about it with him… he's like a girl sometimes, Mark is… he likes to gossip." Derek sighed.

_And other times…_

"And other times, he has so much testosterone, that you think that they should invent a testosterone deodorant just to keep the stink down…" Derek chuckled as he settled back in his chair and Meredith listened to the sound of a paper bag.

_What's for lunch?_

"I made Zoey and I the same lunch…. Peanut butter and jelly with a yogurt and a baggie of pretzels. Her yogurt was strawberry… because it was pink…"

_I swear, she's going to turn pink if you're not careful, Derek._

Derek sat quietly for a little while, eating his lunch in silence as he watched Meredith lie there. She seemed at peace, quiet, and strangely not alone as he sat there eating. She could feel his eyes on her, and though she didn't know him well, she knew that he was taking good care of her little girl. She knew he was no threat, a doctor, a kind hearted man, a sincere man, a man who she… tried desperately to picture in her mind, what he looked like, wishing she could just open her eyes and watch him back.

She listened as he finished his lunch, placing everything carefully in the bag before tossing it into the garbage can in the room.

_You're not going to leave now, are you?_

"You know what I just realized, Meredith?"

_What?_

"This was our first date…" He said with a smile on his lips and in his voice. "You… were a very good lunch date."

_You weren't so bad yourself._

"If you don't mind… I'd like to have lunch here with you… I'm not going to use you as therapy, you don't have to worry about that, but I don't know… you seemed concerned when I first came in, and when I spoke, you seemed to relax…"

_Thinking highly of ourselves, are we?_

"It could just be my imagination… I don't know… I just… you make me feel comfortable… and you help me not miss Zoey so much."  
><em><br>Aww… you do miss her…_

Derek cleared his throat as he sighed softly. "Lexie still hasn't woken up…" He sighed. "It has been a week… she is showing signs of improvement, so that's good, I guess… Mark has been keeping a really close eye on her… and I won't let Zoey in to see her… she doesn't need to see her… not when she's like this… not after everything she's been through, I want to protect her from those things." Derek said sternly.

_I think you're doing a wonderful job, Derek._

Suddenly, the door opened and Izzie walked inside without looking, expecting the room to be empty. "Hey, Meredith… It's one thirty…" She said in a tired voice as she turned, jumping a little when she saw Derek. "Derek! You scared me…"

"I'm… sorry, Izzie… do you want me to leave?"

_Don't leave, don't leave… Don't make him leave, Izzie…_

"You can stay if you want to…" She shrugged. "On lunch?"

"Yeah… just visiting with Meredith, keeping her caught up."

"I bet she is liking that…" Izzie said with a smile. "So… you're one of Cris' upcoming residents, huh?" She said in a soft flirty voice.

_BACK OFF BARBIE, HE'S MINE! Where the hell did that come from?_

"Yes… She's a tough teacher, but she's good at her job…"

"How is… Zoey doing?"

"She's well, it's her first day of school… I miss her a bit…" He chuckled as he held Meredith's hand in his.

"Derek… I…" Suddenly, Izzie's sentence was interrupted by the sound of Derek's pager.

"Crap, I'm going to have to take this… what were you saying?"

"Um…"

_Nothing, you were saying nothing… get out, Derek… go on… get out before she grabs you in her clutches… _

"Well, I should go… I'll see you later…You were a wonderful date…" He said, looking down at Meredith, he couldn't resist leaning down to leave a soft kiss on her cheek. "I'll be back later with Zoey…" He said softly, as he nodded at Izzie and walked out the door quickly.

_I'll be waiting…_

* * *

><p>Derek paced slowly outside the classroom as he waited for the children to be excused. There were one or two parents waiting as the children lined up and found their coats and shoes, those taking the buses lined up by the door while the children who were expecting their parents waited patiently.<p>

"Was this your first day?" A soft voice came from behind him as he turned around to see the friendly face of a woman smiling at him.

"I'm sorry…?" He said softly, unsure of what she had said.

"Your first day of school?… you look like I did when I dropped my daughter off on her first day…" She smiled softly as she tilted her head.

"Yes…" He smiled shyly as he glanced to the door. "It's both of our first day." He said with a smile.

"You'll survive… its tough… that first day… but once you get used to it, it gets a lot easier… and you enjoy the peace, though it's always a little too quiet."

"I noticed that right away…" Derek said with a smile. "I'm Derek." He said, holding his hand out to her as the door opened.

"Kara." She said, shaking his hand as several children came running from the room.

"Mommy!" A little brown haired girl smiled as she ran to the woman.

"Oh my goodness!" Zoey exclaimed as she ran toward Derek as he scooped her up in her arms. "Just Derek! Kindergarten was AWESOME!" She exclaimed as she pointed to the room. "You have got to come with me tomorrow! It was so fun, and I met a lot of other little girls, and some little boys and they were all nice to me on my very first day… they showed me where the crayon closet was and where the books were and where the nappy rugs were and where the…"

"Alright… alright, slow down, slow down…" Derek said with a laugh as he tried to calm her.

"Derek, it was very nice to meet you…" Kara said with a smile as she watched the exuberant little girl in his arms as she fluttered about when she spoke of her first day of school.

"It was very nice to meet you, Kara." Derek said with a laugh as her own little girl pulled on her mother's arm to leave the school, he smiled after her as she waved to him and walked down the hallway.

"Who was that lady?" Zoey asked as she scrunched her nose up and leaned forward.

"She was your classmate's mommy… she seemed very nice, don't you think?" Derek asked as she looked at Derek with a sideways glance as she watched the woman disappear down the hallway.

"I'm ready to go see Meredith now." She said as she wiggled out of his grip. "I can't wait to tell her about my very first day of school!" She said excitedly as she pulled on Derek.

"Alright, alright… let's go see Meredith…" Derek said with a laugh as he let her pull him down the hallway toward the front doors.

* * *

><p>Zoey's feet moved almost as fast as her mouth as she babbled on about her first day of school. Derek held her hand as they walked down the street, her tiny feet skipping as she looked up at Derek excitedly. She told him about all of the people that she had met, all of the things they had done. Derek smiled down at the wriggling little girl as they entered the hospital doors. She pulled her hand from his and ran toward the elevator.<p>

"Zoey, don't run please…" Derek called after her as he picked up his pace and caught up to her as she slammed her hand down on the button to take them up to the correct floor. The doors opened and she turned to look up at Derek as she grinned and they both walked into the elevator.

"I decided I am going to call you 'DD' like you said when you went to my school this morning… I thought it sounded a lot easier to say than to say Just Derek… besides, people look at me funny when I call you Just Derek… They don't believe it's your real name." Zoey babbled on as Derek nodded, knowing he wouldn't be able to get a word in edgewise, so to attempt it would be feudal. "Can I call you that? Can I call you that, Just Derek?"

"That'll be fine…" Derek nodded, listening to the little girl as her eyes looked up at his and she smiled, her tiny giggle lifting his heart as he watched the elevator door open. Before she could run out into the hallway, he grabbed her hand. "You need to hold my hand when we're on this floor…" He said softly as he watched her look up at him questioningly. "Just trust me on this… okay?" He said as he smiled at her.

"Okay…" She nodded as she walked down the hallway with him toward Meredith's room. They followed the hall to the room and Derek pushed on the handle. As soon as the door opened, she hopped across the threshold and released Derek's hand.

_There's my girl._

"Sleeping Beauty!" Zoey said excitedly as she climbed onto the bed and sat beside Meredith.

"You don't waste any time, do you?" Derek asked with a chuckle as he entered the room and watched the little girl.

_She doesn't have to waste any time, she's my baby._

Derek watched as she began to talk, her smile lighting up her face as she spoke, her voice high pitched and happy as she spoke. He turned his head as the door opened and Mark popped his head in. "Hey." Derek said as he smiled softly.

"She survived…" Mark said as Zoey's eyes lit up at the sight of Mark.

_What? Does he have sonar or something… _

"Mister Mark! Mister Mark! You have to come over here…" She said, waving her hand to him as she looked down at Meredith. "I'm telling Sleeping Beauty about my day, you can hear too…"

"Is this really healthy?" Mark asked as he stepped into the room, nodding toward Meredith.

_Okay, you can leave now._

"It's fine." Derek said as he scowled slightly at Mark.

"Stop talking to DD and get over here!" Zoey said, waving more frantically.

"DD?" Mark asked, his eyebrows raised, as he stepped into the room toward the bed, as Zoey continued her story.

"Designated Derek…" Derek replied with a smirk as Mark continued to give him a suspicious look. "What?"

"DD?" Mark asked. "As in you're her 'daddy'?" He whispered as Zoey's head snapped up to look at the two men.

_Mark… seriously… shut up._

"Daddy?"

"Mark…" Derek said in a soft voice.

"What's that mean?"

"We can talk about it later, sweetheart…" Derek said, suddenly realizing the implications of his 'change' in name. Mark gave him an expectant look as Zoey refused to take her attention off Derek.

"No…" She shook her head. "Mister Mark said that you…"

Mark suddenly looked to his belt loop as his pager sounded. "Hey, I have to go… I'll see you guys later… I'm glad you had a good time on your first day at school, Zoey!" Mark said as he started to walk toward the door.

_If I could get up off this bed and chase you down, I so would…_

"Mark…" Derek stated as he stood up.

"Sorry, Derek… I have to go…" Mark said as he disappeared out the door.

_Asshole!_

Derek watched the door close behind his friend as he swallowed hard.

"DD?" A tiny voice squeaked as Derek's head slowly turned, his eyes falling on the expectant gaze of the little girl.

_Crap._

* * *

><p>"You certainly know how to ask the difficult questions, don't you?" Derek said with a nervous chuckle as he watched the little girl continue to stare at him with a serious look.<p>

_You have to give her some kind of answer, Derek._

Zoey continued to watch him expectantly, her eyes on Derek as she remained silent. "Why do you listen to him? He doesn't know what he's talking about."

_Derek, stop… just tell her the truth._

"Do you want to know the truth?" Derek asked, tilting his head as he leaned forward and watched her slide from the bed, her feet landing on the chair beside the bed as she looked to Meredith's sleeping form and back to Derek.

"Yes."

"Like… the whole truth… all of it…?" Derek asked.

_Stop floundering… she will listen…_

"What is a daddy?" She asked as she sighed, her voice a bit frustrated by his stammering as she watched him swallow hard, his adam's apple bobbing up and down as he took a deep breath and tried to release it as slowly as he could. "It's okay… I can handle it." She said as she flopped down in the chair beside the bed.

_She can handle it._

"I… I don't know exactly how to explain it." He shrugged as he lifted the little girl into his arms and placed her on his lap as he sat down next to Meredith.

"Um… tell me what a daddy is…" She shrugged. "Do I need one?"

"You had one… you… you had a daddy…" He said softly. "It's like… your mommy's partner when you were made… so everyone has a daddy…" He said with a slight cringe as he tried to explain it to her.

"Is he in heaven too, like mommy?" Zoey asked with a strong confident pout as she watched Derek's eyes as they flashed toward Meredith.

_Oh, baby…_

"He is in heaven… yes…" Derek whispered.

"Like mommy?"

_Mommy is right here… tell her that mommy is right here… I know that you can't… I know that you won't… but I will do anything if you tell her the truth… anything… just… don't make her believe that everyone she loves is in heaven, Derek. Don't break her heart like that, please._

"See… things get confusing for different people, you know… when you're born, things are a little less confusing… you have a mommy and daddy… and they made you, you know?" He asked as she nodded.

_Now you're going to get technical? Don't you think that six is a little young for the birds and the bees?_

"Some people have… the same mommy their whole life… and sometimes it is the woman that gave birth to them… and sometimes, it's someone else… taking care of you because your other mommy can't do it just yet."

_Derek…_

"I don't understand."

"Okay… time for an example…" Derek said as he shifted the little girl in his arms. "When I was born… I had a mommy… I had… four sisters… and a daddy." He explained. "I'm the youngest." He said with a nod. "When I was born… my mommy became very sick… and she… she went to heaven…" He nodded as she watched him. His voice cracked slightly as he went on, his hands trembling as he tried to work his words out in his mind before he explained them to the little girl.

_Oh, Derek…_

"Yes, you said your mommy was in heaven…" She nodded as she listened carefully.

"I did say that, didn't I?" He said with a sigh as he felt a slight bit of relief over his chest. "Well… my daddy was alone… and…"

"He didn't have his partner no more…" She nodded.

"Right…" Derek nodded. "And he had four little girls… and me to take care of… so… he met a lady and married her… and she became my mommy…"

"Wait." Zoey said stubbornly. "You can't have two mommies." She said with a huff.

"Well, she was what they call a 'step' mommy… she wasn't my real mommy, she was there to take care of us, and make sure that we were fed and clothed and loved… and…"

"So you're not my daddy… you're my step… daddy…" She asked as she tilted her head in question and watched him.

"Not exactly…" Derek said with a sigh. "But… technically… I…"

_Just say yes. Make it easier on her._

"I'm just your DD." Derek said as he smiled a soft polite smile at her.

"My DD…" She said with a sigh, her eyes calming slowly as she watched him.

"That's what I am…" Derek nodded as he watched her, his eyes following hers back to Meredith.

Zoey opened her mouth and just as she was about to ask a question, the door opened and Cristina stepped inside. "There you are."

_Leave it to Cristina to bust up a nice bonding moment. Attention whore._

"Hi!" Zoey said as she hopped from Derek's lap and ran over to her, wrapping her arms around Cristina's legs as she gave Derek a confused look.

"She's very huggy today." Derek replied. "You were looking for me?"

"Yes… your post-op patient in 343 has been asking to see you. She has some questions on the medications you prescribed… side effects… she wants to talk to you and only you."

"Only me…?" Derek asked as he sighed.

_Someone has a crush on you…haha…_

"You're her doctor, ace." Cristina said as she watched his eyes for a moment. "Are you alright?"

"DD was just telling me about his mommy in heaven and his step… mommy…" She said as she glanced to Derek.

"Taking things one step at a time, huh, Shepherd?"

_Be nice to him, he's trying…_

"With no thanks to Mister Mark." Derek sighed as he stood up. "Would you mind…?" He asked, nodding toward the little girl.

"You want me to babysit?" She asked incredulously.

_HAHAHAHA!_

"If you don't mind." He said as he tilted his head, his eyes asking politely.

"What am I supposed to do with her?"

"I don't know… take her for a walk around the hospital, show her some neat things… keep her away from the morgue and all sharp objects… don't act like you've never been around kids, Cris." Derek sighed.

"Hey… I didn't say I have never been around kids… I'm just saying that I've never been around a kid that didn't annoy me."

"Well, I'm sure that is about to change." Derek nodded as Zoey grabbed Cristina's hand. "Take your Aunt Cristina somewhere fun…"

"I will…" Zoey said as she pulled on Cristina's arm. "Come on, Aunt Cristina… show me where you work…"

"See that, a girl after your own heart…" Derek nodded as Cristina rolled her eyes.

"I think she's already got it." Cristina replied as she sighed, turning toward the door as Zoey pulled on Cristina.

"Have fun…" Derek laughed as Cristina grunted.

"Bye DD! Bye, Sleeping Beauty!" Zoey exclaimed as Cristina and Zoey slipped out of the door together.

_Bye, little girl!_

Derek sighed as the door latched shut, the sound resonating through the room as he was once again left alone in the hospital room. Derek swallowed hard as he looked down at the woman on the bed, her breathing so soft, it was as if she were suspended in the air by a million tiny strings, her body not resting heavily on the mattress, but nearly floating as she lay there.

_I thought you were leaving me._

He glanced to the door, where Zoey and Cristina had just disappeared out, and he sighed softly as he sat in the chair by the bed. "Mrs. Christianson can wait a couple of minutes…" Derek said as he smiled very softly.

_Your hand is so warm._

He reached his hand out and grasped hers in his, his large hand warm and soft as he gripped her palm delicately in his own. "I wish I knew what to tell her." Derek whispered as he looked at Meredith's hand. "I wish I knew what you wanted me to tell her." He swallowed hard. "She's so smart and compassionate… and… I don't want to scare her… I don't want her to keep saying that her mommy is in heaven. It only reminds her of the way thinks were, when all I want her to think about is the way things are going to be." Derek said as he softly ran his thumb over her palm, his eyes watching her delicate fingernails as he felt her skin beneath his fingertips. "I'm not giving up on you, Meredith… I'm not going to give up on believing that you're in there somewhere…I'm not going to give up… because Zoey needs you… and I know that you need her." He said as he sighed softly. "I just… wish there was some way for me to know that I'm doing the right thing. I wish there was just some… way for me to know that there truly is hope that you will wake up… that she will understand who you are, who I am in this crazy situation… and that you trust me to do the right thing. I just wish there was some indication that I'm doing the right thing in all of this." He said softly as he very gently squeezed her hand, allowing a tear to fall from his cheek, he watched as it landed between their hands, sliding so delicately down their skin as they met in an intimate union, letting the salt of his tear melt with the salt of their skin.

_Lift your head, Derek._

Derek sat for a moment, his head down as he suddenly felt pressure on his hand. His brow furrowed as he looked to her hand and he watched as her fingertips curled slowly over his, squeezing his hand with such a gentle pressure that he could hardly feel it. His eyes lifted.

It was there that he was met the gaze of her beautiful eyes, the eyes that matched her daughter's, staring directly at his face, his soul, his hopes and dreams. Their gaze melted together as he stared into hers in a state of complete shock and trepidation.

_Hello._


	7. Unwanted

Derek continued to stare at her, thinking for a moment that his eyes must be deceiving him. He couldn't speak, he could hardly breathe.

_Now who can't talk?_

Meredith continued to stare at him, her eyes slightly blurry but she could make out his shape, his hair, his crystal blue eyes. Her eyes closed for a moment.

"No." Derek said, moving swiftly forward toward her as her eyes closed, frantic that her eyes opening was only a reflex, he held his breath until her eyes opened again.

_Picky…I have my eyes closed for so long… and now you're being bossy when I want to rest them._

"Don't close your eyes." He whispered. "You have beautiful eyes… don't ever close them." He said, his voice breathless and soft, the sound of surprise still evident in his words.

_Doctor Shepherd, if I didn't know any better, I'd think that you were flirting with me._

Derek watched her with a fascinated stare, his eyes were so bright, so wide, she was becoming lost in the deep pools of his irises, diving into the blackness as if she would never return. Her eyes darted from one eye to the other, unable to stop taking in the sight of him. She blinked, trying to clear the cloudiness from her eyes as she watched him stare into her eyes.

_You're more handsome then you sound._

"You have absolutely no idea who I am." He stated, his eyes showing a bit of disappointment.

_You're Just Derek._

"It's alright if you don't know who I am… I mean… I just… Meredith… can you hear me?" He whispered as he reached for the penlight on the table beside the bed. "What the hell am I talking about, you can't answer me…" He whispered as he turned the penlight on.

_Oh please… don't shine that in my eyes…_

He shines the flashlight in her eyes, watching as her pupils dilated slowly, the light bouncing from the reflective crystal colors of her eyes, her eyelid flicking closed. "You don't like that…"

_No… I told you not to do it…_

"I'm sorry…" He said softly, genuinely. "I should page Cristina… she's not going to believe this…" He whispered.

_Right… right, get Cristina…she's going to help… Derek, she's not going to do anything. She's just going to say that this is a reflex. I still can't move at all. Can't you just stay with me for a little while…please?_

Derek began to pull his hand from hers and realized the slight hold she had on his hand, he glanced down to his hand and watched her fingers curl around his tightly. "You don't want me to get Cristina?" He whispered.

_She'll come back… she'll come back when she realizes you didn't go see your patient. Please… just stay with me. Stay with me and let me look at something. It's been far too long… don't make me beg._

"I can stay here…" He whispered, knowing that his resolve wasn't as strong as he wished it could be, he was a sucker for the beautiful woman staring up at him. "I can stay here with you…" He whispered as he looked up at the monitors. Her brain activity was soaring, her heart rate was strong. "You're really falling off the charts over here…" Derek said as he slowly released her hand, glancing at the monitors. "We should really get you some tests…"

_They're not going to do any tests…_

"Cristina says they won't do any tests… but this is a breakthrough… this is… remarkable." He whispered as he watched her eyes follow him around the room.

_Well, I'm just a remarkable person… and very modest, I might add… Sarcasm is a lonely sport._

She could feel the excitement in his voice, the happiness in his touch as he sat down beside her again and took her hand in his. "Zoey is going to be so excited." He whispered.

_My baby… Derek, go get my baby…I want to see her for more than just a moment. I want to see her smile, not just feel it._

"I have to get Zoey, Meredith… this is just… this would be selfish of me if I didn't tell her right now." He whispered as he stood up, letting her hand slip from his as she followed him with her eyes. He lifted the phone from the receiver in the room and never let her eyes leave his. "Hey, this is Doctor Shepherd… can you page Cristina Yang to room 422? It's an emergency...Thank you." He whispered as he hung the phone up and walked back toward the bed. He sat down beside Meredith again, scooping her hand into his as he smiled a sideways smile. "Hello." He whispered as he looked down at her, noting for just a moment that her eyes brightened. "It is nice to finally meet you." He swallowed as he smiled, feeling her hand move slightly in his as she attempted to hold it in hers.

* * *

><p>Derek continued to watch her, her eyes staring brightly at his as he tried to figure out what to say. He didn't know anything about her, only her name and a few spotty references to her past, but nothing solid. He watched as she blinked, blinked again, her eyes squeezing shut, in a near rhythm as he watched her.<p>

"What are you doing?" He whispered. "Are you trying to talk to me?"

_Yes! Read my eyes…_

"I don't understand."

_READ MY EYES! Damn it… this stupid headache is back._

She squinted and Derek could tell that the light in the room appeared to be too bright for her, he turned down the lights slightly, letting the light from the window and the light above her bed.

_Please… no… I can feel myself getting tired…_

"Rest… rest for a couple of minutes… I don't want you to exhaust yourself… I know you're trying to talk to me with your eyes… I know that's what you're trying to do, but I can't understand… so don't tire yourself… don't tire yourself before you get to see her." Derek said softly.

_Maybe you're right… you don't understand…_

Meredith's eyes stopped blinking so rapidly, her eyes settling on his kind face as she watched him sit beside her. He reached his hand to touch her cheek, very gently turning her head to face his eyes as she continued to look into his eyes. "The light is bright… you don't want to stare directly into it." He whispered, his intention to not only shield her from its brightness, but to have the opportunity to look at her eyes. "Your eyes match hers."

_Just like you thought._

"Just like I thought they would." He whispered. "I haven't told her… who you are yet." Derek whispered. "I'm kind of afraid to… just because she will have so many questions. She's precocious and has so many questions about everything, half of the time I don't know what to answer with. You both deserve to know the truth. I hope you understand that is what I think… and I think what your mother did was absolutely unfair to you." He whispered, watching closely as tears began to form in her eyes. "Oh… oh, don't cry…" He whispered as he pulled a tissue from beside the bed. He leaned over her and carefully wiped her tears.

_It's okay… I can cry. You can let me cry. It's the only way that I can let you know how I'm feeling. If I didn't feel those tears, I would probably convince myself that I'm actually dead._

Derek leaned closer, his eyes directly on hers as he suddenly became entranced in her gaze. She stared up at him, her eyes still filled with soft, heartbreaking tears as he touched her cheek with his hand.

_Your touch is so gentle._

"You don't have to cry, Meredith…" He whispered, moving her head slightly as he adjusted the bed, her eyes still on his. "I'm going to try everything I can to make you better." He whispered as he leaned down, becoming immediately lost in her eyes as he swallowed hard. He couldn't stop himself, the feeling in his chest was too heavy, and his heart was pounding loudly. He continued to watch her eyes as he leaned closer, and ever so slightly touched his lips to hers.

_He kissed me._

Suddenly, the door flew open and Cristina came in swiftly, flipping the light switch on. "What the he-…" She paused as she realized Zoey was right there with her. "What's going on in here?" She exclaimed as Derek stood up straight, Cristina and Zoey standing there in the doorway. Zoey's mouth was wide in shock as Cristina glared at Derek as his cheeks turned bright red in embarrassment. "Doctor Shepherd?" Cristina asked.

"SLEEPING BEAUTY IS AWAKE!" Zoey exclaimed as she ran toward the chair beside the bed, noticing Meredith's eyes open.

"Derek? What is this?" Cristina whispered as she watched.

"Cris…she's awake…" Derek whispered in reply as the little girl stood over the woman, her eyes bright and wide as the little girl smiled down at her.

"DD kissed Sleeping Beauty and she woke up!" She exclaimed happily as she turned her face toward Derek, her smile beaming as she glanced to Cristina. "I told you it would work! I told you, I told you! I did!" She exclaimed happily as she reached her arms down, wrapping carefully around Meredith's neck and shoulders as Cristina and Derek stared at one another and another tear fell down Meredith's cheek.

* * *

><p>"She's awake?" Cristina asked, her mouth slightly open as she stared at Derek.<p>

"Her eyes are open, she's responding to light, she's responding to…"

"But she's awake… really awake?" Cristina said as she moved quickly to Meredith's side and watched as her eyes moved to Cristina.

"Why doesn't Sleeping Beauty move?" Zoey asked as she pulled from her hug with Meredith, looking her in the eyes. "DD? Why doesn't she move if she's awake…?" She asked as she looked to Derek and back to Meredith.

"She needs her rest, sweetheart…" Derek said softly as he reached for her, lifting her tiny body from the bed.

"But she's been sleeping all this time… she doesn't need rest… she needs to wake up… she's my family… isn't she?" She began to panic. "Isn't she my family, DD? Isn't she my family… why doesn't she move or talk? DD… tell her to talk to me… tell her to talk to me…" Zoey started to panic as she pulled on his shirt.

"Zoey, calm down… calm down…"

"No! No I can't calm down… calm down… no…" She started to breath deeply as she watched Meredith's eyes. "She can look at me but she's not talking to me… why isn't she talking to me?" She panted as she stared Derek in the eyes, the look of fear on her face as her lower lip stuck out and tears began to roll down her cheeks as she began to cry.

Derek looked down to Meredith as tears rolled down her cheeks and her eyes blinked rapidly. She did it harder each time she blinked, sometimes holding, sometimes it was quickly. Long blink, two short blinks, followed by another quick blink, another short long and short blink. "Oh… Meredith…" Derek whispered as he tried to wipe her tears with a tissue. "Cristina… it's like she's trying to…" Tears rolling down his cheeks as he held Zoey close.

"Communicate with us…" Cristina said softly. "Meredith… start from the beginning…"

"The beginning?" Derek asked as he held the crying little girl in his arms as he watched Cristina watch her carefully, writing something in the pad in her hand.

Cristina watched her, writing swiftly as Meredith continued to blink in a pattern, her eyes on the crying girl in Derek's arms. "Cristina… tell me what's going on." Derek begged as he watched Meredith's blinking finally stop as her eyes stayed on Cristina as tears filled her eyes.

"She said…" Cristina stood for a moment as she wrote down something on the paper. 'Derek, Zoey… no more cro.'

"No more cro?" Derek asked as he gave her a confused glance. "First of all, what does that mean… second of all… how do you know?" He asked as he watched Meredith's eyes blink once short, once long, and six short blinks.

_Ass..._

"Hey, watch your… eyes…" Cristina said as she gave Meredith a smirk. "It's not my fault you haven't been brushing up on your Morse code."

"Morse code?" Derek asked. "Cristina… I don't understand…explain to me what's going on."

"She doesn't want you and Zoey to be upset…" Cristina said, looking at Derek as he continued to watch Meredith.

"And she told you through Morse code?" Derek asked as he looked to Meredith, who blinked a series of letters.

"She said yes." Cristina sighed as she watched Derek continue to watch Meredith, moving closer to her. "It was how she communicated before she fell completely out of consciousness. I don't understand why she's out of it now… It appears to only be her mental faculties… physically… it would be too painful for her to move… despite the physical therapy, her muscles have still atrophied… and her muscles are all relaxed, including her vocal muscles… which explains why she can't talk…. But she is awake…" Cristina stared at Meredith for a moment and then turned back to Derek. "Besides that…Are you going to explain to me what I interrupted in here?"

"You didn't interrupt anything." Derek said swiftly as Cristina glowered at him. "You didn't interrupt anything… I was talking to her." Derek replied as he watched Meredith's eyes shoot to Cristina as she started another series of blinks.

"She claims you kissed her."

"I… I… can we take her for an MRI now? She's… she's communicating… and … and we need to know why… how… she needs tests done, Cristina!" Derek said as he bounced Zoey in his arms as her crying slowed and her eyes fell to Cristina as she listened to the adults.

"We need permission from the chief!"

"Well, get permission… this is a breakthrough!" Derek exclaimed as he turned to walk toward the door, suddenly being grabbed by Cristina. "What?"

"He's not going to do it, Derek."

"He has to do it! Her status has changed!"

Cristina looked down to Meredith as she blinked another message. "Oh, Meredith…" She whispered.

"What?" Derek asked.

"She wants you to take her hand." Cristina whispered. She watched Meredith's eyes as she looked to Derek. Derek reached forward slowly and took her hand in his. "Warm hands…" Cristina said softly, reading her eyes. "Derek, watch her eyes…"

"I'm watching." He whispered as the three of them stared at the woman lying on the bed.

"Just… Derek… good… daddy…" Cristina whispered. "Do… not… tell… my… baby… yet."

"She has been listening to us." Derek whispered.

"What is she doing?" Zoey whispered as she sniffled, wiping her eyes on her sleeve.

"She's talking to us, Zoey…" Derek said as he tried to control his emotions.

"I don't hear her…"

"She's using her eyes…" He whispered as he carefully 'read' her words.

"What is she saying now?" Zoey whispered as Meredith began to blink again.

"She says… 'Tell Zoey… I … love… her… and I … am trying… to … get better." He whispered to the little girl as she stared at the woman on the bed, her eyes wide with wonder as she listened to Derek's words.

"She loves me?" Zoey whispered.

"She does…" Derek replied. "She knows who you are… you've been talking to her for days now… and now she can finally see you."

"You have very pretty eyes, sleeping beauty…"

"She says thank you…" Derek whispered as Meredith's eyelids began to droop as she continued to watch them. "She appears to become fatigued quite quickly…" Derek whispered to Cristina as he refused to take his eyes off of Meredith.

"You would too if you had been sleeping for six years…" Cristina said as she reached forward and touched Meredith's face. "You rest, Mer… we're going to see if we can fix this… but we're here… and we're not going anywhere…"

_I love you._

Her eyes blinked one more message before her eyes closed heavily, leaving them all in an awkward silence.

* * *

><p>Later in the evening, Derek was preparing dinner as Zoey sat at the table with Mister Derek, Floyd and Molly. She was talking quietly with them as she colored on a piece of paper. "So we can color Sleeping Beauty a picture now and she can see it all pretty…" She mumbled to herself as she lifted Molly from her chair. She placed the doll in her lap as she leaned down and picked up her small pink backpack. She reached into the bag as she glanced up to Derek as he stood by the stove stirring a pot of pasta. She glanced down into the bag and then back up at Derek again.<p>

"DD?" She said softly as she watched Derek turn his head toward her.

"Hmm?" He said as he raised his eyebrows kindly at her.

"Is Lexie going to heaven?" She asked as she closed the bag and held it tightly as Derek watched her curiously.

"Well, that's an odd question…" Derek said as he watched the little girl's fingers roll over the bag in her hands.

"I'm just wondering."

"It isn't something you need to worry about." Derek replied.

"But I do." She said softly. "What about Sleeping Beauty?" She asked with an earnest look, her eyes wide with wonder as Derek turned and placed the spoon he was stirring the pasta with on the spoon holder on the stove. "Is she going to go to heaven?"

"Listen…" Derek said softly as he stepped over to her and crouched beside her, watching as she looked over at him with extreme concern. "Sometimes people go to heaven… sometimes they live for a very… very long time… but if we sat here all the time, and worried about things like that… we'd never have the time to have fun… or enjoy our own lives… The best thing we can do right now, is not ask whether or not they are going to go to heaven… but to hope really hard… that they get better." He said softly.

"I don't want Lexie to get better." Zoey said seriously, her eyes watching Derek's reaction as the little girl's harsh words slammed into him. She had no idea how harsh those words were, how mean and full of hate they sounded. She was only speaking her mind, and Derek couldn't fault her for that. "I hope she goes to heaven."

"Now that's not a nice thing to say."

"She hurt me." Zoey swallowed. "She hurt me and she took away Molly… and she made me feel so sad. She made me feel alone. She took me from you." She whispered as she watched Derek. "I don't want her to be my family anymore. I just want you to be my family. You and Sleeping Beauty." She whispered.

"I know, gumdrop." Derek whispered as he kissed the top of her head and moved toward the stove where the pasta he had been cooking was boiling. "But you can't blame Lexie for everything… it seems to me like she didn't know what to do with a precocious little girl like you." Derek replied.

"Feed her." Zoey said as she rubbed her belly with her hand. "I'm a growing girl, DD… I need my yummy foods…"

"That you do." Derek said with a chuckle as he stepped to the sink with the pot and drained the water from the pasta. "Would you like to help set the table?"

"Yes!" She exclaimed as she placed Molly on the chair beside her. "I'll get the plates and silverware… you get that dinner on the table so we can eat, eat, eat!" She exclaimed as she ran to get the plates, the smile slowly returning to her face as she forgot for a moment what was hiding in the bag that was now hanging from the chair.

"I don't think I've ever met anyone who looks so forward to my crummy dinners…" Derek said as he mixed in some tomato sauce with the pasta and sprinkled it with cheese.

"Oh, your dinners aren't crummy, DD… they're yummy… SUPER yummy!" She exclaimed as she put the two plates on the table and skipped past Derek to get the silverware. The doorbell sounded and Zoey looked up at Derek.

"You know what that means…" Derek said with a nod.

"Extra plate for Mister Mark!" She exclaimed as Derek nodded.

"I'll go get the door… and give Mister Mark a smaller plate… he tends to eat less then…" Derek chuckled as Zoey giggled and grabbed three forks as Derek went to answer the door.

* * *

><p>Zoey waited in the kitchen for a few minutes as she waited for Derek to return with Mark. The plates were on the table, as were the silverware, and she could hear her tummy growling as she waited. A few more moments and she heard Derek's voice raise slightly, the frustration in his voice was not something she usually heard, and she had not heard him speak to Mark that way before. She ventured toward the kitchen door and slowly opened it, poking her head around the corner as she peered down the hallway toward the front door.<p>

"You're not welcome here." Derek's voice boomed through the house.

"Derek, don't be ridiculous. I just wanted to come by to talk to you." The woman's voice floated through the air, hitting Zoey's ears. She recognized that voice. She couldn't quite place it, but she had heard it before. Derek moved slightly to the side and she caught sight of the woman at the door.

"I didn't want to talk to you at the hospital, and I most certainly don't want to talk to you at my home. Rachel… You took yourself out of my life… we work in the same building, but I haven't seen you in months… and suddenly, you're interested in how I am and you want to talk to me as if we're old friends? I don't think so… I don't think that's a good idea." Derek replied.

"DD? Who is at the door?" Zoey asked innocently as she shuffled her feet into the room and grabbed hold of his hand.

"Daddy?" Rachel raised her eyebrows at Derek.

"Rachel… I don't have time for this… She needs her dinner and bath, and then she has to go to bed… I really, really don't have time to deal with having a conversation with you right now." Derek replied.

"She called you Daddy? Derek, I've known you for…"

"Rachel… seriously… now is not a good time. I'm sorry…" Derek replied as he lifted the little girl into his arms. "Maybe we can talk another time." He said, trying to be polite.

"Maybe not." Zoey chimed in, shrugging.

Derek's eyes passed to hers as she gave him a mischievous grin. "Rachel… please."

"I just want to talk to you, Derek… it won't take long."

"I'm so hungry, DD…" Zoey whined into Derek's chest as she held him tightly. "So, so hungry…" She whimpered.

"Derek, who… why are you…"

"We have to go." Zoey said, reaching for the door, to swing it closed.

"Alright… none of that…" Derek said as he shifted her slightly in his grip before she grabbed the door. "Go on and get the cups on the table…" He said as he lifted her to the floor. "DD will be in there in a minute."

"Okay." She sighed as she glared up at Rachel.

"Say goodbye to Miss Rachel." Derek said softly as he watched the look on her face.

"Um… no." She said defiantly as she turned and ran toward the kitchen.

"Charming little thing…" Rachel replied as she watched the kitchen door slam.

"She's been through a lot in a very short amount of time, Rachel… and I'm trying to help her work through some things… and I know that you have questions and you're just trying to be friendly… but right now, I don't have time for friendly. I'm not trying to be rude here. I just really don't have any time."

"I'm sorry for interrupting your dinner." Rachel said softly as she tilted her head. "Maybe we could talk at lunch?" She asked softly as she tilted her head.

"Sure… lunch sounds good…thank you for stopping by." Derek said, much calmer than he had been when he first opened the door to her.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Derek." Rachel said softly as she leaned forward and kissed his cheek, noting his flinch as he took a step back. She nodded and took a step backwards as Derek slowly closed the door.

He sighed deeply and swallowed as he listened to her feet walk down the steps and down the sidewalk as he walked toward the kitchen. He stepped into the kitchen, surprising Zoey as she stood on a chair at the stove with a plate filled with pasta. She started when she heard the door close, sending the plate to the floor with a crash. "Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!" She exclaimed as tears began to flow down her cheeks.

"What on earth are you doing?" Derek asked as he approached her quickly to clean the mess, watching as she flinched, he simply lifted her quickly and looked down at the mess. "Look at this mess…" He said as he looked at the sauce and pasta all over the floor.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" She exclaimed, hiding her face as if she were going to get slapped.

"It's alright…" Derek said softly as the little girl trembled in his arms as she sobbed. "It's alright, it's alright…"

"I was hungry! I was so hungry, I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" She exclaimed as Derek set her in her chair and moved toward the mess on the floor as she cried at the table, grabbing Mister Derek in her arms as she sobbed.

"No more crying… it's fine…" Derek said as he cleaned up the mess, listening to Zoey as she cried. He lifted the other plate from the table and scooped some pasta onto it and placed the plate on the table, moving it toward her. "Hey… hey, your dinner is ready…" He said softly as he watched her lift her face up, her cheeks were bright red, her eyes filled with tears.

"You…" She sniffled. "You didn't yell…" She sniffled again.

"You didn't do anything that yelling would solve…" Derek replied. "Now hush your tears… and eat your dinner before Mister Mark really does get here and eats it all up." He said with a kind smile as she sniffled and cuddled Mister Derek, grabbed her fork and began to eat. "Good girl…" Derek said softly as he finished cleaning the mess and filled his own plate for dinner.

* * *

><p>Zoey ate her dinner quickly, her eyes not leaving her plate as she chewed and swallowed every morsel of food on the plate. "I'm still hungry." She said as she looked up at Derek as he placed another mouthful of food in his own mouth. He tilted his head as he chewed, watching the fork in her hand wave in slow circles as she demonstrated shoveling food from his plate.<p>

"You're still hungry?"

"Yes… so hungry…" She whispered as she sniffled.

"That hungry?"

"Hungry like a bear." She replied.

"Like a bear…?" Derek asked. "Like… a big… gnarly grizzly bear… or like Mister Derek there?" Derek asked, nodding toward the pink bear in her arms.

"Like a big grizzly bear… GrrrROWL!" She exclaimed as Derek laughed, watching her smile slightly.

"Well, let me get you a little more pasta… we don't want me to get eaten next, do we?" Derek said as he took her plate.

"Don't worry, I'm a Veggie Maryanne bear…"

"A Veggie Maryanne bear?" Derek asked as he got up and walked over toward the stove with her plate in his hand.

"Yes, I don't eat meat when I'm a bear…so I won't eat you up."

"Ah… that's a good thing…" Derek said as he scooped some pasta into her plate and watched her as she watched him. "Can… we talk about a couple of things?" Derek asked, treading lightly on the subject, though he knew that it was important to talk to her. He placed the plate in front of her and watched her tilt her head. "We should probably have a couple of rules around the house…" He said, watching as she dropped the fork in her plate and her eyes widened as she put her hands in her lap. "Hey, what's that all about?" Derek asked as she swallowed hard.

"No rules…" She whimpered.

"No rules?"

"No…" She shook her head. "No rules…"

"How about some… guidelines?"

"Guidedlimes?"

"Something like that… nothing too big of a deal… just some things that you need to understand…" Derek said softly.

"What? Was I bad? Did I do something that made you angry?" Zoey asked, her hand still refusing to touch the fork.

"You weren't bad… just listen… when someone comes to the house… like Miss Rachel did tonight… you should try your best to be polite…"

"I didn't like her." Zoey stated defiantly.

"But you should still be polite…"

"But she hurt your heart… and I don't like her… and she was making you talk mad…" Zoey explained.

"I know… I know you're trying to protect me… but I need you to act like a big girl, and be polite… because otherwise… it looks like I'm not teaching you any manners…"

"I know manners, but I don't like talking to her. She has a stuck in the air nose and she smelled funny."

Derek chuckled at the way her nose wrinkled up when she said the last part, though he put on his serious face once again. "Can you be polite for me, please?"

"I will try… but I can't make any promises." She sighed as she looked down at her plate.

"Also…" Derek said as he watched her look up at him with a curious look. "Don't climb up near the stove anymore…" Derek said as he tilted his head. "I'm not trying to be a bully… but it's dangerous and you could have fallen, or burned yourself…"

"I'm careful."

"I understand that… but you have to ask." Derek replied. "Now eat up your dinner… and we'll get ready for your bath."

"I'm not hungry anymore." Zoey muttered as she turned and grabbed Molly, gripped Mister Derek and snatched up Floyd. She slid her arm into her backpack and carried all four items out of the room, leaving Derek by himself at the table as the kitchen door slammed behind her.

* * *

><p>Derek finished his meal in silence, glancing to the kitchen door as he waited to see if Zoey would come flitting in. He could feel his mood deteriorating with each second as he sighed. The phone rang as he stood up with his plate, he glanced over to the phone on the wall and smiled slightly as he walked over to it. "Hello?" He said softly into the line as he gave his full attention to the pause on the other side of the line. "Hello?"<p>

"Derek?" A woman's voice came over the line as he sighed.

"Sarah?" Derek said as he listened to her panting slightly. "Are you running or something?"

"Morgan won't go to bed, she has spent the past half hour running around the table. "Randy finally grabbed her and Sammy and brought them upstairs to bed."

"And amidst all of that, you thought to call me?"

"I had intended to call you all along… it's not too late, is it?"

"Sarah… it's only seven here…"

"Oh… oh, yeah… stupid freaking time zones…" She said with a huff as she took a deep breath.

"What did you need?" Derek asked as he chuckled at his sister's flustered response.

"I was… we were all wondering… are you coming to New York for Thanksgiving?" She asked quickly as she listened for her brother's response. It was usually a pause, followed by a sigh, and then his apology.

Derek paused for a moment, listening to his sister's breathing on the other line as he took a deep breath and sighed slowly.

"It's alright if you can't make it, Derek. We'd understand… you had a tough year…"

"DD, are you coming?" Zoey asked as Derek turned sharply to see her standing in the doorway with her hands on her hips.

"Hang on a second." Derek said softly to Zoey as he tried to cover the receiver.

"Derek, who is that?" Sarah said over the line quickly, hearing the sound of a child in the background, and her brother's response.

"Sarah, can I call you back tomorrow?" Derek asked quickly as he swallowed.

"Derek?"

"I'll call you tomorrow… Tell Randy and the kids that I love them… I'll call you tomorrow, I promise…" Derek said quickly. "I love you…"

"Love… you too…" She said softly as her brother hung up the phone on her.

Derek held his hand on the phone for a minute, his heart pounding in his chest as he looked to the little girl standing in the doorway holding her toys. "I thought you were mad at me." Derek said as he watched her eyes on him.

"I changed my mind…" She shrugged. "I'm hungry…" She said as she ran over to the table and climbed onto her chair, setting Molly, Floyd and Mister Derek on the chair beside her, she grabbed her fork and started shoveling food into her mouth.


	8. I'm Sorry

The morning started slow and tiresome as Zoey rolled off Derek's bed and stepped on his back. "Morning, DD." She said as she climbed onto his back. "Whatcha doin on the floor?"

"Sleeping…" He muttered as she rolled off him and stood up.

"Breakfast time." She said as she skipped out of the room.

Derek felt like he could feel each and every muscle moving, mostly because they were all sore. He had spent half the night in his bed, and half the night on the floor after a barrage of nightmares and night terrors had brought the little girl into his room and onto his bed. At one point, he left to get her a cup of water and when he returned she was sound asleep. He had settled on the floor to sleep so that he wouldn't wake her again, happy that she had finally hit her stride of restful sleep as he found himself cramped and uncomfortable on the hard floor that was only covered by a skimpy little rug.

He couldn't understand why she was so full of energy if she had gotten hardly any sleep, but he was happy that she wasn't haunted by her dreams like he was being haunted by her howls of sadness into the night.

Derek carefully stood up and looked around, finding that his room was once again a mess of blankets and pillows that had been strewn about from her night terrors. He sighed as he made his way downstairs. "Zoey?" Derek called as he stepped down the hallway toward the kitchen.

"Yes, DD?" She said as she sat at the counter with her cereal bowl and spoon waiting patiently for Derek to arrive to serve her.

He looked into her eyes and saw the happy brightness within them, her smile was sweet and full of morning glitter as she rubbed some of the sleep out of her eyes. "Um… what would you like for breakfast?" He asked, holding off on his other question that he wanted to ask her for just another moment.

"Mmm… Froot loops… no! Sugar smacks… ! No! All of them!" She exclaimed as she grinned at him.

"How about I just pull out the sugar bowl and pour some milk over it?" Derek asked with a sarcastic grin.

"Okay!" She said with a laugh as Derek shook his head.

"Let's see what we have… how about some Rice Krispies?"

"Mm… okay…" She smiled as Derek poured the cereal and milk. He sprinkled just a little bit of sugar over it for some taste and watched as she devoured the cereal as if she hadn't eaten in weeks.

"Slow down there, little monster, I don't want you to get a tummy ache." Derek said softly as he poured his own bowl of muesli and began to eat.

"I'm just so hungry, DD… it tastes yummy, yummy!" She said with a smile as she looked up, her hair mussed and standing up as she looked back down to her bowl.

Derek sighed as he watched her. She had been with him for over a week, and she was having nightmares every night. They weren't just normal nightmares, but hair on the back of your neck raising screaming fear filled rants that Derek had no idea how to quell. He had been bitten and scratched while she sleep, her eyes wide open as she screamed for her mother's arms. Until finally she would wake up, and stare blankly at Derek for about thirty seconds before she'd begin to cry.

Derek knew that she needed help, that his love and care would only go so far, but she needed to talk to someone and get these fears out, or her nights would not be the only thing affected. He wanted to discuss it with her first, being six years old, that would be quite a task, but he wasn't about to stick her in a room alone with another adult that she has never met and expect her to share her feelings. "Zoey, you had more nightmares last night." Derek said softly.

"Yeah…" she whispered, her smile disappearing for a moment as she looked at him. "Yeah, I am sorry…"

"No, no… no apology needed, sweetness… I just wanted to make sure you're alright."

"I'm okay…" She shrugged.

"Maybe after work… after school and work, we'll talk about how we can try to make these bad dreams go away, does that sound good?"

"Okay…" She said softly as she watched Derek for a minute.

"I'm going to go upstairs and get ready… you finish your breakfast and pick out what you'd like to wear today…"

"Okay." She said with a brighter smile, watching Derek as he lifted his empty bowl from the counter.

"And don't forget…" He said as he pointed to the bowl.

"Put the bowl in the sink… DD will wash it…"

"Good girl." Derek smiled as she tilted her head and smiled back, as Derek turned and walked out of the kitchen and climbed the stairs to get ready for work.

* * *

><p>Derek walked with Zoey to her classroom, leaning down to her level, she gave him a kiss on his cheek and rubbed his hair before turning and disappearing into the room. He breathed a sigh of relief as he stood up straight and another couple of children ran quickly past him. He swallowed a bit hard as he was about to turn, he heard a voice behind him.<p>

"Looks like you're doing a little better today." The woman's voice was cheerful and happy as Derek turned around and smiled.

"Her or me?" Derek said with a chuckle as he glanced back to the door. "Yeah, I'm doing much better now." He nodded as he smiled at her as she lifted her cup of coffee to her lips and smiled.

She sipped from the cup and her eyes sparkled as she glanced into the room at her own daughter as she hung her coat on the hook on the far side of the room. "It's tough giving them a little bit of freedom… especially when I'm so used to spending so much time with her. It gets kind of lonely."

"I can relate…" Derek nodded as he breathed deeply, trying his best to tread lightly in the conversation.

"Your daughter is Zoey, right…?"

Derek paused for a moment, biting his lower lip as he nodded. "Yes… Zoey…"

"Carrie mentioned her yesterday… that it was her first day of school… I think they got along pretty well." Kara said with a smile as she took another sip of her coffee. "Are you okay?" She whispered, watching Derek look at her coffee as if he were looking at some kind of prize at the bottom of a cereal box.

"Huh? Oh…" He whispered, realizing he had been staring. "I'm sorry… I'm just… I just… I haven't had my morning coffee yet… I'm about ready to grab that one out of your hand and run… though I'm not sure that it'd make a very good impression." He said as he chuckled, watching her giggle as they stood here. "I have to get to the hospital and get some caffeine in me before my shift starts." He said as his cheeks turned red in embarrassment. "Or before I say something else so utterly embarrassing I have to send Zoey to school alone." He said as Kara laughed.

"Oh, you didn't say anything embarrassing… I know how it is before that first cup of coffee." She laughed as Derek looked to his shoe and laughed. "You work over at the hospital?"

"I do." Derek nodded with a soft smile as he looked up into her eyes.

"I do too…" She said with a laugh. "Pediatrics… I'm one of the staff psychologists for the terminal ward."

"Really? I'm surgery… Neuro, mostly… It's my third year… and the new interns will be here tomorrow." He said with a smile.

"The new batch, huh?" She said with a slight laugh as she nodded toward the door. "I'll walk with you over to the hospital." She said as Derek nodded and smiled.

"Hey, that sounds good." Derek said with a smile as he and Kara walked side by side toward the hospital. They talked softly as they walked, laughing and having a fairly good time as they walked through the front doors of the hospital. They walked toward the elevator, Derek stopping for a moment to grab a cup of coffee at the small cart set up in the lobby as he continued his conversation with Kara, laughing as they made their way toward the elevator again. As they walked, Derek thought he could feel the glare of someone at his back, but instead of giving in to his paranoia, he just continued the friendly conversation as they entered the elevator together. They talked a little more as the elevator reached the pediatrics floor and Derek stepped off the elevator with her.

"Hey, you have one more floor to go…" She giggled.

"I know, I know… but since we're both heading to the school to pick up the girls… maybe we could walk together." He shrugged.

"That'd be fine…" She said with a shy smile. "I'll meet you down in the lobby… about… Three fifteen…"

"Sounds good to me." Derek said with a smile as he turned and pushed the button to the elevator. "See you around, Kara."

"See you around, Derek." She said with a half giggle as she watched Derek push his way into the next crowded elevator, sending her a friendly wave as it closed in front of him.

* * *

><p>The morning went by fairly quickly, two surgeries and a half hour of paperwork later, Derek found himself on his way down toward Meredith's room. He was beginning to feel the wear of the day, his eyelids drooping, his knees wobbling slightly in weakness as he gripped his bag of lunch in his hand.<p>

He couldn't help but think he was forgetting something as he wound his way down the hall of the psychiatric wing, his hand reaching his mouth as he yawned. He stopped for a moment just outside Meredith's door, preparing himself for her sleeping form. He had talked to Cristina that morning, and it had put a damper on his day.

* * *

><p><em>Derek stood in the scrub room, scrubbing out of the second surgery of the morning that he had assisted in. He kept his head down as he scrubbed at his hands, his head lifting as he heard the voice behind him speak, sharp and direct. "She didn't wake up today." Cristina's voice was disappointed and worried.<em>

_"What?" Derek said as he stopped, turned his head to face his boss, her eyes were sad and concerned. He knew what she was talking about, but he needed to hear it from her own lips before he believed it._

_"After you left last night, she closed her eyes… we haven't seen any brain activity since." She said with a sigh._

_"No…" Derek said with a disappointed sigh as he watched Cristina sigh. _

_"The chief of surgery said that if she doesn't show activity for more than six hours, he won't see her. He said we can have a psychiatrist come in, but no surgical measures will be made unless she is conscious for more than six hours." She said, watching the anger building in Derek's features. "He also says that he wants her discharged from the hospital by the end of the week, they're going to put her into a nursing home." She swallowed as she watched the rage build in Derek's features._

_"That is bullshit." Derek said with a growl._

_"On a personal level… yeah… it's bullshit… on a professional level, it's protocol. He doesn't want to feel like his time is being wasted."_

_"His time isn't wasted! This is a patient's life we're talking about!" Derek exclaimed._

_"But it's not his patient, Derek. She's not even your patient… or my patient… it's an unfortunate situation, but there is nothing we can do." She said, watching Derek turn and mumble something into the sink as he continued to scrub out. "Excuse me, Doctor Shepherd?"_

_"I said you're a fucking robot!" Derek shouted into the sink. _

_Cristina remained silent for a moment, allowing the stares of the two nurses in the room to burn into her frustration. "Doctor Shepherd, you're off surgeries for the rest of the day… You can do some paper work and some clinic duty… and you're on call tomorrow night and the night after, so you had better find a babysitter. Insubordination will not be tolerated." She said angrily as she turned and swung the door open, slamming it hard as she left the scrub room._

* * *

><p>Derek swallowed hard as he stepped into the room, immediately noticing that there was someone else inside. He stepped inside and closed the door behind him. "I'm sorry…" He said softly as Izzie looked up at him for a moment, surprised by his entry. She had Meredith's blanket pulled down, her legs exposed to the air as Izzie lifted a bowl from beside the bed and brought it to the sink.<p>

_Oh... great idea Izzie... show him my goods... as if I actually have any dignity left to hold onto anyway. _

"No, it's alright, Doctor Shepherd… you can come in." She said softly as she watched the flushed look on his face at the exposed skin of Meredith's legs. "I…do a little bit of hygienic maintenance for Meredith… shave her legs…, brush her hair…and other things she obviously can't do for herself." She said as Derek looked to Meredith's face.

_If I ask her really nicely, she rotates my tires and changes my oil too. Stick around... you never know what might get flashed today._

"Well… I don't want to interrupt… I can have my lunch somewhere else… it's alright…" He said as he took a step backwards toward the door.

"Dr. Shepherd, you don't have to go… it's fine…" Izzie said softly. "Besides, you could always keep me company if you'd like… Meredith hasn't been very talkative lately." She said with a slight giggle that gave Derek's stomach a little twist, sending his lips up in a polite smile. "Go on… sit down… eat your lunch… and we can talk while I do Meredith's exercises…" She said softly as she pointed toward the chair.

"Alright…" Derek said softly as he walked across the room toward the chair, he sat down and pulled his sandwich from the bag. He watched as Izzie pulled Meredith's right leg slightly and began to flex it gently. "Do you think that hurts her?" Derek asked, watching the slight change in the monitors as Meredith's long, thin legs were moved and maneuvered by the young nurse.

_Oh God... oh god... you have absolutely no idea...how badly it hurts._

"I am sure she doesn't feel anything right now… she's been sleeping for six years… I haven't heard her complain yet." Izzie said as she flexed her feet carefully, moving the joints somewhat rigidly as he watched on, his sandwich still in his hand as Izzie continued the procedure.

_Dimwit. Smart ass. I so wish that I had a kick reflex right about now. I'd wipe that pointy nose right off your egg shaped head._

Derek watched diligently, refusing to eat as Meredith's body was twisted and contorted, rolled and pushed by the nurse. Suddenly, a pager rang out in the room as Izzie looked down to her belt. "Shit." Izzie muttered. She looked up at Meredith and to Derek. "I have to go get this… emergency down on the second floor, they need extra nurses…"

_What a shame._

"You can go." Derek said as he nodded. "I can help with her therapy, if you want."

"You don't mind?" She asked as she carefully covered Meredith's legs with the blanket.

_He said he doesn't mind... go..._

"Absolutely not…"

"Upper body, arms, neck, slight shoulder massage… massage her muscles softly, especially in the joints, they're sore from lack of movement so we need to be sure to move them frequently to keep from… why am I telling you this, you're a freaking Neurosurgeon…" Izzie giggled.

_GO! GO! GO! GO!_

"I think I can handle a little PT and TLC…" Derek chuckled as he slid his sandwich into the bag and tossed it on the chair as he stood up and slowly approached the sink. He ran his hands under warm water as he watched Izzie leave, he sighed as the hot liquid cascaded over his fingertips, he dried his hands and approached the bed.

"Hey, Meredith…" Derek said softly as he reached for her hand, holding her fingertips in his hand, he began there and slowly bent each finger ever so gently, cradling her joints in his fingers as he took his time. He swallowed the slight increase in heartbeat and ran his fingertips up her wrist as he ever so gently let his fingers dip into the hollows and thinness of her wrists her arms, the muscle of her arm so weak and small as his palm worked its way across her silky skin, his fingertips pressing into the muscle of her arm as his thumb worked its way over her shoulder to her neck.

_Oh God... are you touching me? Your hands are so warm... you're so careful... so caring... You should keep talking... I love your voice, it's so soft. Please... your fingertips... so soft.. so strong and warm._

"I heard that you haven't felt much like waking up today… those beautiful eyes of yours closed…" He whispered huskily as he ran his thumb over her temple, gently moving her hair from her face, his fingertip tucking the soft strands behind her ear as he very carefully slipped his hand beneath her neck.

_You keep touching me like that, and I'm going to jump you..._

"It's a shame…" He said as he leaned down to cradle her head in his hand, turning her face toward the opposite wall ever so slowly, his fingertips caressing her cheek as he felt his heart beating wildly in his chest. "It's such a shame those eyes aren't open… I would have loved to have seen them today… talked to you… told you a secret or two… but no… they're closed…" He whispered as he very slowly turned her head to face him, he watched as her eyelids twitched slightly.

_I'm trying... I am trying so hard... Don't let this be a dream... please don't let this be a dream... don't let this be a dream._

"You have the most beautiful eyes." He whispered as slowly, she gave him a glimpse. "There they are." Derek whispered as he reached up and turned the light above the bed off, making the room a little more reasonable on sensitive eyes.

_It's not a dream. My stomach is in knots... I almost feel like i'm going to cry..._

He watched as she fluttered her eyelids, his hands still touching her skin on her neck as he lifted her head from the pillow, his hand cradling it so softly as he watched her eyes. She fluttered them open, their faces only inches apart as he smiled a slow smile, his eyes shining with something she just couldn't quite figure out. "Well, now you decide to open your eyes…" He said with a soft, husky whisper.

She stared at him for a moment, her eyes finding the strength to begin blinking as she sent him a message.

**_Until now, there wasn't much to look at._**

"Meredith Grey…" He whispered her name, watching her eyes as they focused on his face. "If I didn't know any better… I would have to say you're flirting with me." He whispered as he watched her cheeks flush slightly. Derek lifted his hand to her face, feeling the warmth of her skin against his fingertips, he felt his heart skip a beat.

_I'm not flirting with you, Derek... I need your touch. I need you to..._

**_Kiss me again._**

"You want me to kiss you?" Derek whispered softly. Meredith watched his eyes as they failed to hide his surprise, or the smile that was playing about his lips. He glanced to the door and back to the woman on the bed. "Do you know how much trouble I could get into for this?"

**_Kiss me again._**

Derek watched her eyes as he held back the thoughts that this was wrong. She was a sick woman, and she had nothing communicable as far as her chart was concerned, she had nothing that he could catch, nothing that could make him sick. She was a lonely woman trapped in a shell of a body with nothing but her thoughts to keep her from gong mad. "Alright…" He whispered. "But only this once…" He swallowed as he leaned forward softly, lifting her head with his hand as he so very gently pressed his lips against hers. He could feel her breathe in deeply, her chest rising as her heart rate increased on the monitors. Her brain activity also sky rocketed, her vitals were higher than they had been in months. Very slowly, he pulled from the kiss.

"Meredith…I..." He whispered.

**_Derek._**

Suddenly, the door opened, Derek's head whipped in the direction of the door as Mark stepped inside. "There you are…" Mark said with an irritated sigh.

"What do you mean, here I am? I told you that I was coming to see Meredith at lunch time."

"Yeah… well… while you're hanging out with the garden salad, I was stuck listening to Rachel complain about how you stood her up."

"Oh, shit…" Derek muttered.

"Why are you holding her?" Mark asked, walking up to the bed, he watched as Derek's eyes went down to the woman, her eyes closed, her breathing normal and her heartbeat regulated as he pulled his hands from around her, laying her head softly on the pillow.

"I was… I was helping out Izzie… I was helping with Meredith's physical therapy."

"Looks like you were making out with the carrot stick." Mark said as Derek shot him an angry glare.

_Oh just wait until I get out of this bed. Maybe I'll shove Izzie's head up your ass, Mark Sloan. You'd make a nice pair._

"Stop calling her a vegetable, you idiot… she has more brain activity than you have." Derek snapped.

_Good one, Derek!_

"Oh… someone is a little touchy about the…" Mark started to say as Derek stood up quickly, making a point to stand as close to Mark as he could, his fists balled up and angry as he waited for Mark to finish the sentence. "Hey… hey… sorry… sorry…" Mark said as he took a step back. "I'm sorry…"

"Tell Rachel that I have things that I need to do… that I don't have time today." Derek said softly as he glanced to Meredith. "I have to pick up Zoey after school… and I'm on call tomorrow night and the night after, so I'm going to need to find a babysitter for her." He sighed.

"I heard how you pissed off Cris…"

"Whatever." Derek sighed as he looked down at Meredith. "She just doesn't get it." Derek shook his head as he looked up at Mark.

"Well I can't babysit tomorrow or the day after… I'm on call too…"

"Huh…" Derek said as he sighed.

"Listen…" Mark sighed. "I'll talk to you a little later… I'll go cover for you with Rachel, but…"

"I don't need a cover for Rachel. I have no obligation to her. Just tell her that I'm sorry." Derek shrugged as he sat in the chair beside Meredith's bed.

"Will do." Mark said as he walked toward the door. "Later."

"Yeah…" Derek said as he sighed heavily. "Later." He said as he leaned over the bed slightly and took Meredith's hand as the door closed slowly. "I really don't expect him to understand." Derek whispered, as he leaned forward and gently kissed her hand.

_Thank you for understanding._

* * *

><p>Derek stood in the lobby, waiting patiently as he checked his watch. He had a lot on his mind and not much to quell it. He was about ten minutes early for meeting up with Kara, so he lifted his phone from his pocket and made the inevitable call.<p>

"Hi." A small voice answered the phone as Derek smiled softly.

"Sammy…" Derek said into the phone as he recognized his niece's voice as she breathed into the line. "Where is mommy?"

"Mommy… is… who is this?"

"Uncle Derek, silly girl."

"UNCLE DEREK! MOMMY! UNCLE DEREK IS ON THE…"

Suddenly, the little girl's voice was distant as the phone lifted to another person's ear. "Derek?"

"Sarah…" Derek smiled as he listened to his sister tell Sammy to take her dinner plate to the sink.

"Explain…" His sister said suddenly as Derek chuckled into the line.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Derek said as he shook his head and listened to the curious sound in his sister's voice.

"Derek Shepherd… you were talking to someone last night and when I asked about it, you hung up like you were trying to keep something from me… now out with it…" She said in her 'mommy' voice.

"Sarah… would I ever keep anything from you?" Derek asked with a playful chuckle as his sister laughed, almost bitterly into the phone.

"Yes… yes you would… now what's going on?"

"Who was planning on having Thanksgiving at their house this year?" Derek asked, avoiding the question.

"I think Nancy…" She said softly, noting her brother's change of subject. "Derek…"

"What do you think about you all coming out here for Thanksgiving this year?" He asked honestly, his voice hopeful as he listened to the long pause on the other end of the line. "It's October seventh now… and Thanksgiving isn't until the end of November, it'll give you guys enough time to plan and get tickets… the house is big enough… I can accommodate." He said, feeling excited at the prospect of his family visiting for the first time.

"Derek…"

"Seriously… Sarah…"

"Derek, that's crazy… there's more than twenty of us… and we can't leave Marjorie here alone."

"Bring her too." Derek said, referring to his stepmother whom he had been on the outs with for several years, since his father had passed away.

"You want us to bring Marjorie too? Derek… what has gotten into you? Are you dying or something?"

"Sarah… cut that out." Derek said sharply as he watched Kara step out of the elevator. "Think about it, okay? Talk to Nancy, Kathleen and Jen… see what they think."

"Derek…"

"I have to go, my friend is here… I'm walking with her to pick her daughter up at school… just… just think about it, okay? I have to go…"

"Derek…"

"Sarah… think about it… I really want you guys to come to Seattle… I love you…" He said quickly as he snapped his phone closed as Kara approached, her hands in her jacket pocket as she smiled. "Ready to go?" He said as he nodded toward the door and put his hands in his pockets.

"Ready to go." She said with a smile as she walked up alongside him and they began their walk to the school.

They were quiet for a while, lost in their thoughts as Derek watched her look to the ground as they stepped over the sidewalk. "How was the pediatric floor today?" He asked, trying to make conversation with her as she looked up at him.

"It was good… it was good…" She nodded. "Surgery?"

"I assisted on two… it was fun, rewarding… it's always a high to get into that operating room." Derek said softly as he watched her walk for a moment. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah…" She said as she glanced to him. "One of my kids died last night." She said softly as she watched the concern in Derek's eyes.

"Oh…" He whispered as he put his hand on her shoulder lightly. "I'm sorry to hear that…" He said as he watched her eyes lift to his, a tear rolling down her cheek. "I'm sorry…" he whispered.

"It's… it's alright… I just…" She sniffled as she wiped the tear from her cheek. "I try not to get emotional about it, you know… try to stay disconnected… but you know… they're kids… and they're handed this crappy chance at life… and they have so much spirit, so much passion, so much…"

"Life?" Derek whispered.

"Yes!" She exclaimed as she stopped on the sidewalk. "They have so much life… and it gets torn out from beneath them faster than they can take a breath… it's not fair… it's just not fair…" She said as she put her face in her hands. "I'm sorry… I'm sorry… I'm a mess, I'm so sorry…" She whispered as she walked down the sidewalk quickly away from Derek, shaking her head as she talked to herself, scolding herself for being vulnerable, for falling apart in front of this stranger.

"Kara… wait a second…" Derek said as he walked quickly to catch up with her. "Hang on…" He said as he touched her shoulder.

"I'm stupid… stupid, stupid… with a stupid heart and stupid tears and I just embarrass myself…" She muttered to herself as she continued to walk.

"Kara, wait…" Derek said softly as he finally got her to turn and face him, her eyes were red rimmed and sad, her eyes still filled with unshed tears.

"What?" She whispered.

"It's alright to be vulnerable… and it's alright to be attached to your patients… like you said… they're kids… innocent children who…" Derek paused for a moment as the sounds of Zoey's screaming the night before passed through his mind. "Who experienced something… or…are…they need… they need someone to be there for them." He said softly. "And you should be proud that you were the one that was there for them when they were so broken, alone and scared… You should be proud of that." He said with a soft smile as he watched her wipe her tears. "I'm sure this isn't the first time you've lost a patient." He said as he watched her shake her head slowly.

"It's a constant battle… I work with terminal kids… meaning… no turning back." She whispered.

"But you're giving them something to live for… even if it's temporary." Derek said with a slow smile as he held out his arm. "Come on… let's go get Zoey and Carrie… and we'll grab a slice of pizza or something… unless you had other plans." He said as he shrugged his shoulder and watched her shake her head.

"Just dinner…" She shrugged.

"Good…" He said with a smile. "Dinner is on me." He said as he walked with her toward the school, as their conversation slowly started back up again.

Kara and Derek walked up the steps of the school, passing children who were heading toward school buses and parent's cars. They entered the front doors and showed the identification cards that they had been given as parents of children who attended the school, and walked toward the classroom. "Kara…" Derek said softly as she looked to him and smiled politely. "Just... I just…I need to explain something about Zoey." He stammered as her brow furrowed. She stopped and turned to face him as she glanced toward the classroom as the children all rushed to the coat hooks.

"What is it?" She whispered as she glanced toward the classroom as the two girls came running from the room.

"DD!" Zoey exclaimed as she jumped and leapt into Derek's arms as he caught her in mid air and lifted her over his head and brought her down again to kiss her cheek.

"She's… Perfect…" Derek said softly as he cuddled her into him as Carrie ran up to her mother and hugged her as her attention remained on Derek's face, the anxiety on his face was evident as she looked her daughter in the eyes.

"How was your day, sweetheart?" Kara said with a genuine smile to the little girl.

"It was good…" She said with a smile as she looked over at Zoey as she talked quickly to Derek. "Zoey is my new best friend!"

"Really?" Kara asked as she looked up at Derek as he smiled down at the little girl as Zoey pointed out the same thing about Carrie.

"Yes!" Carrie exclaimed.

"Can we go see Sleeping Beauty now?" Zoey asked as she tugged on Derek's shoulder. "Can we? Can we bring Carrie to see Sleeping Beauty…" She asked excitedly as Derek looked over to Kara and back to Zoey.

"Meredith is resting, sweetheart… we should let her rest…"

"But I wanted to show Carrie how she can talk with her eyes… and how prettyful she is… I promised Carrie I'd show her… oh, DD… oh, DD, please? Please?" She begged as Derek shook his head softly.

"I… we can't visit Meredith tonight… not right now…" He said softly as he bounced the little girl. "How would you like to go to get some pizza for dinner with Carrie and her mom?" Derek asked as Zoey glanced to Kara.

"No!" She exclaimed.

"Zoey, that's enough…" Derek said softly as he tried to be firm and serious with her.

"I don't want to go! I want to go see Sleeping Beauty! I want to go see Sleeping Beauty, now!" She screeched as Derek cringed.

"Zoey, stop…"

"NO!" She screamed. "LET GO OF ME!" She shouted as she hit Derek on the shoulder.

"Zoey, stop this right now."

"NO!" She screamed as she swung her hand as hard as she could, slamming Derek's face with her open palm as the sound of her hand hitting his skin echoed through the hallway as everyone who was in the vicinity waited for Derek's reaction. Zoey stopped, her eyes widening as she stared at Derek's face, his cheeks turning red, not from the slap but from the embarrassment of being stared at by everyone.

His face suddenly became very serious as he turned his eyes from Zoey and looked to Kara. "Kara, I'm sorry… Zoey and I won't be able to join you for dinner this evening…" He said softly as she nodded her head and watched him shift Zoey in his arms as she took Carrie's hand in hers. "Perhaps another time…" He said as she nodded softly. "Thank you for the company today… We'll see you in the morning." He said softly as Kara said a soft goodbye and watched as Derek turned on his heel with the little girl in one arm and her backpack in his hand as she looked back to her friend, her screams echoing through the hallway as Derek walked, unaffected through the hallways with her in his arms.

"NO! NO! I'm SORRY! I'M SORRY, DD! NO! NO! LET'S GO BACK! LET'S GO BACK! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! DD! DD! I'M SORRY! CARRIE! I WANT TO HAVE PIZZA! I WANT TO GO! DD! PLEASE! PLEASE!" She screamed as Derek walked down the sidewalk with the little girl, his arm firmly around her as he said not a word, only carried her back down the street toward the hospital. He stepped up to the car silently and unlocked it, sliding the screaming little girl in the car seat as he reached across and let her scream in his ear as he buckled her in, walked around the car and got into his seat. He turned the ignition, put the car in drive, and drove all the way home with the wailing six year old in his ear, breaking his heart.

Zoey howled apologies and sobbed loudly the entire ride home. She hiccupped and shouted, her screaming becoming more erratic as he drove toward the ferry dock. He pulled onto the ferry, her screams continued as she reached for the window and squeaked her fingers down the closed glass again and again as the tears rolled down her face and her cries broke Derek's heart. He let her scream, hoping that she'd stop when she became tired, but every time he thought it was about to stop, another wave of screaming would start up again.

She sobbed loudly as he pulled up the driveway, her hands now pounding on the car seat as Derek parked the car in front of the house. He climbed out and opened the back door, lifting her from the car seat, her screaming cries echoed through the woods that surrounded them, filling the air with her angry, sad, frustrated voice. He lifted her toward the house and watched her cry, her cheeks were bright red, her eyes were sad and bloodshot, her face soaking from the tears. "Are you done crying yet?" Derek asked as she shouted louder and shook her head as Derek climbed the stairs and moved his keys. He unlocked the door and walked inside, kicking his shoes off, he pulled her sparkly pink shoes off her feet and carried her upstairs.

"NO! NO! I DON'T WANT TO GO INTO MY ROOM! NO! NO, DD! PLEASE! I DON'T WANT TO GO INTO MY ROOM! DON'T MAKE ME GO INTO MY ROOM!" She screamed loudly, angrily, nearly hyperventilating as she struggled against him.

"You're going to go into your room until you can calm down… when you can calm down, we'll talk about this… but I am not going to talk to you when you're screaming like this." Derek said as he opened her bedroom door and walked in, flipping the light switch on, he walked toward the bed.

"NO! I don't wanna BE here! I DON'T WANNA BE HERE! DD!" She shouted as she kicked at the bed and screamed as Derek lay her down on it. "BAD DD! BAD, BAD! BAD DD!" She screamed as she kicked him and hit him as he watched her roll around and bury her head in the pillow as she cried into it.

"When you're done screaming, you can come downstairs and talk to me." Derek said as he took a step back from the bed as she rolled around and cried.

"Don't go! DD! Please don't go!" She exclaimed as she reached for him.

"I'm not going to listen to any more screaming, Zoey… so when you are finished screaming, you come downstairs to see me." He said with a stern nod, turning out of the room as he stepped out, closing the door behind him. Her screaming became more fierce as Derek closed the door, his back resting against the wall as he put his fingertips to his forehead and rubbed his face down to his chin as he tried to block out the sound of her screeching.

He took a deep, deep breath and let it out very slowly as he walked down the hallway and down the stairs. He could still hear her screaming, her feet pounding into the ground as he stepped into the kitchen and began dinner.

* * *

><p>About forty five minutes later, he stepped from the kitchen and found the house eerily quiet. His stomach twisted slightly as he walked to the stairs and walked slowly up them, his thumbnail nervously scratching his index finger as it normally did when he was filled with anxiety. He didn't call her name, for he could see as he reached her room, a set of four tiny fingers sticking out from under the door, wiggling slightly as she sniffled with her cheek against the floor.<p>

"I'm sorry… I'm sorry…" She blubbered slightly as she sniffed, her voice soft and delicate. "I'm sorry… please don't hate me… please don't leave me…" She sniffed. "Please…"

Derek sat on the floor beside the door. He reached his hand out softly and hooked one of her tiny fingers in his index finger, feeling her soft skin against his. "I'm sorry, DD…" She whispered. "I'm sorry I screamed… I'm sorry I hurted you… I'm sorry…" She whimpered.

Derek held her finger for a while, her tiny finger flexed and wiggled in his as she whimpered under the door. "I love you, little one." Derek whispered.

"I love you…" She sniffled.

"Come here… open the door… for Just Derek…"

"Not Just Derek…" She whispered. "You're my DD." She whimpered as her tiny fingers disappeared back beneath the door. Derek sat and waited, and he listened to her shuffle around in the room a bit before the door slowly opened. Her blonde hair was in disarray, her cheeks red with exhaustion as her gray eyes seemed almost transparent to him. The door opened a little more as her bare feet stepped out and walked toward him, her tiny bare toes touching the floor as if she were testing the cool depths of a swimming pool, frightened that she'd find it too cold.

"Do you know what you did wrong?" He whispered, tilting his head as she stopped for a moment. She stared into his eyes as she allowed his question to linger in the air for a moment, before nodding her head.

"I shouted." She whispered.

"You shouted." Derek nodded.

"I hit you." She whispered.

"You hit me." He said as he reached his hand to his cheek.

"I'm sorry…" She whimpered as she watched him hold his cheek in his hand, her action playing in her mind as her lip began to tremble. "I didn't… I… I'm … I'm sorry…"

"You should never, ever hit." He said seriously as she nodded. "Young ladies never hit… and hitting is never the way to solve anything… no matter what."

"I wanted to go to see Sleeping Beauty…" she whimpered.

"I know that… and I understand that… but I thought that having dinner with your new friend would be something you would like… and I understand that you wanted to do something else… but instead of shouting at me, you should have talked to me…I think I'm a pretty reasonable guy… don't you think I'm a pretty reasonable guy?"

"Mmm…hmm…" She nodded slowly as she poked her lower lip with her finger and leaned into him as he spoke.

"Thank you…" He said as he reached his hand for hers. "I have dinner for you downstairs… are you hungry?"

"A little…" She whispered.

"A little?" Derek said with a soft chuckle as he pulled her into his arm, letting her wrap her arms around his shoulders as she squeezed him tightly. "That means I'm going to have to find something else for me to eat, doesn't it? Because you're going to eat all of the yummy food I made…" He asked as she giggled into his shoulder as he carefully stood up. "You have a hollow leg, my dear…" He said as he lifted her off the floor and cuddled her into him as he carried her downstairs to the kitchen.

Derek let Zoey finish her dinner, her little mouth devouring each and every morsel on her plate until she lifted it from the table and glanced to Derek. "Can I lick it?" She asked, her eyebrows raised as Derek shook his head.

"You shouldn't lick it…" He said as she stuck her tongue out and challenged him. "You really… shouldn't lick it…" He said as she sighed, putting the plate down on the table she gave him a sweet smile and moved her hands from the plate. He tilted his head and laughed. "What the heck… lick it…" He said as she lifted the plate up and giggled.

"I was kidding!" She said as she laughed at Derek as she put the plate down on the table.

"You fooled me!" He exclaimed as she giggled and stood up from her chair, putting her fork on her plate as she walked toward the sink.

"I did… I did fool you…" She said as she reached up and slipped the plate into the sink, listening to it fall to the bottom roughly as Derek walked up behind her and put his own plate in the sink.

"So I take it you liked dinner?"

"Loved dinner!" She exclaimed, rubbing her belly with her hand as she skipped across the kitchen and picked up her cup off the table and brought it to Derek. "Can I help… wash the dishes, DD?"

"You want to help?"

"Yes." She smiled. "We learned about helping in school. I used to help mommy with dishes… she would wash them and I would dry them…" She said as she held up the cup to Derek. He took it from her hand and placed it in the sink.

"Well… in the spirit of helping, I think we can arrange something…" Derek said as he walked toward the table and grabbed one of the chairs. He pulled it toward the sink and placed it beside the sink. He reached to the cupboard and pulled a dishcloth from within it, and shook it out as he lifted her onto the chair. "Here…" He said as he turned toward the sink next to her. "Now you're nearly as tall as me…"

"I have to be tall to dry the dishes?" She giggled.

"Yes." Derek nodded as he began to was a dish in the sink, being sure to rinse it thoroughly. He handed it to her carefully, watching as she rubbed the cloth over it haphazardly, smiling at Derek as she did it. "Be careful not to drop it…" He said as he watched her nod.

"I don't want to break another plate…" She said with a serious sigh, shaking her head.

"That's right… because then we'll be eating off of napkins… and I'm not quite sure how well that'd work with soup…" He said seriously as he watched her dry the plate, she looked up at him and giggled.

"You can't put soup on a napkin!" She laughed.

"See… now you get it…" Derek laughed as he washed another plate and handed it to her. "Here… stay right here, I'll be right back… I have to grab my cell phone from upstairs… dry that plate…" He said as he headed out the door.

"And don't drop it…" She nodded.

"And don't drop it!" Derek called as he disappeared into the hallway.

Just as he disappeared, the house phone rang and without thinking, Zoey grabbed it from the wall receiver. "Hello." She said into the phone as she glanced to the door.

"Hello?" A woman's voice came over the line. She sounded confused and paused.

"Hello?" Zoey said again, unsure of what to say.

"Hello?" The woman repeated as she cleared her throat. "I'm sorry… I must have the wrong number…" She said softly as she hung the phone up.

"Bye…" Zoey said as she put the phone back on the receiver.

Just as she did, Derek walked back into the room. "Did the phone ring?"

"Uh huh…" She nodded.

"And you answered it?"

"Uh huh…"

"Did they say who it was?"

"Nope."

"Hmm…"

He sighed as the phone rang again. Zoey grabbed it and lifted it to her ear before Derek could get to it. "Hello?" She said into the phone.

"Hello?" The woman said again.

Derek reached her and grabbed the phone from the little girl as he kissed her cheek and chuckled. "Hello?" He said softly into the line.

"Derek?"

"Mom?" Derek swallowed, as he immediately recognized his step mother's voice. He swallowed hard and waited for the inevitable question.


	9. Falling

Derek's voice caught in his throat as he heard his stepmother thinking to herself over the line, trying very carefully to choose her words. He wanted to be the first one to say something, yet there was just something about her pause that made him stop. She could feel the tension over the line, her interest obviously piqued as she waited patiently for an explanation. It wasn't that she felt that she deserved one, but she knew Derek, and she knew how his mind worked. He hated people talking about him behind his back, and if he avoided this, he knew that her questions would only go to his sisters.

"Derek?" She said again, unsure of his mood, unsure of exactly what he was thinking. "Are you alright, sweetheart?"

"I… I'm alright… I'm alright, how are you?" Derek asked awkwardly, his voice was polite and soft as he listened for her reply.

"I'm doing alright, dear." She said in return, her response coming off her tongue strangely as she tried to remember why she had called him.

"Did you talk with Sarah?" Derek asked, figuring that the reason she had called was because of the message that his sister had left for her, he could sense that she was recovering from the initial surprise of the little girl answering the phone.

"Oh! oh, yes… Sarah… she called me this morning." Marjorie nodded her head as she listened to her own voice for a moment, noticing the nervousness in it. "She said that you wanted to have Thanksgiving at your home this year?" She asked softly as she waited for Derek's response.

"Yeah… yes… I talked to her earlier about that… I want the whole family to come out here to Seattle. You all can see my new house and my land… I could show you guys around the hospital or something… visit the space needle… we could..."

"Maybe get an explanation or a name for the voice of the child answering my bachelor son's telephone…" She asked quickly, hearing silence on the other line. "Derek?"

"Um…" He paused, sucking in his breath, he released it quickly. "Can you hang on a minute, Mom?" Derek asked.

"Sure." She said, making sure that the amusement in her voice was evident.

Derek held his hand over the telephone receiver and watched Zoey as she stared at him with a wide eyed expression, her eyebrows raised in an almost expectant look as Derek almost laughed out loud. "My mom wants to know who you are." He whispered as he watched her jaw drop and her little butt wiggle as she covered her mouth with her hand.

"Oh my goodness, she does?" She asked.

"Yes…" Derek said, watching as Zoey shook her head, her hand still over her open mouth.

"Well, tell her!" She said, her smile and energy shining through.

"What do I tell her?"

"Tell her the truth!"

"But how do I tell her?"

"Gimme the phone…" She said, holding her hand out to the telephone, Derek shook his head. "Come on, DD… gimme the phone… I"ll tell her who I am." Zoey said with a confident sigh as Derek smiled slightly and handed her the phone.

"Hello?" Zoey said softly into the line as she looked to Derek.

"Well hello, again…" Marjorie said into the line, having heard Derek's conversation with her, she was smiling at his interaction, but also extremely curious who the little girl was.

"Hi, are you DD's mommy?" She said into the line, waiting for a response.

"DD?" She asked with a slight question in her voice. "Yes… yes, I'm his mommy…"

"But not his real mommy?"

"Um…"

"Skip that part…" Derek said quickly, wishing to avoid an awkward situation.

"I'm Zoey Grey and Just Derek is my DD." She said with a smile.

"Really?" Marjorie said with a friendly voice as the little girl immediately began to gush.

"Uh huh…" Zoey nodded. "He rescued me… He rescued me and he let me live in his house. He takes care of me and makes sure I have food to eat. He takes me to school and makes sure my nightmares stay away. He gives me hugs and kisses and loves me very much. He said that we could have a swingset if I do good in school and am a good girl, and he let me help with the dishes and he lets me visit Sleeping Beauty… he helped me not be afraid of the airplane when I came from New York and he liked my pink shoes, he said they're just like his pink sparkly shoes, but he says they're in the shop right now. DD is a great guy. But you probably already know that since you're his almost mommy. Did you know he's a great guy? Did you know that?" She asked as she paused for a moment, listening for Derek's mother's response.

"It sounds like he is quite a guy…" Marjorie agreed as she listened to the little girl take a deep breath.

"Yep, he sure is! He sure is a great guy… and he's going to let me have ice cream for dessert tonight. What's your favorite kind of ice cream?"

"Oh, I like chocolate…" Marjorie smiled at the little girl's enthusiasm.

"Mmm… chocolate… I like chocolate too… Hey, DD… your almost mommy likes chocolate ice cream just like me!" She said as she pulled the phone from her ear and spoke to Derek's grinning face as he shook his head and laughed. She put the phone to her ear and watched Derek as her face turned serious for a moment. "Would you like to talk to DD?" She asked as Derek nodded and held his hand out.

"I would love to talk to him, sweetheart." Marjorie replied with a slight chuckle. "It was very nice talking to you."

"It was nice talking to you too, DD's Mommy… what's your name so I can call you that?" She asked as Derek put his hand down for a minute.

"You can call me Nanny, sweet pea. That's what all the little ones call me." Marjorie said into the phone.

"Okay… Okay, Nanny…" Zoey smiled as she looked up at Derek with a bright grin, her eyes sparkling like he had never seen before. "You're my family now… is that okay?"

"That sounds absolutely delightful, sweetheart…" She said sincerely as Zoey giggled into the line.

"Here is DD… bye, Nanny…"

"Bye, sweetheart."

"I love you." She said as she handed the phone to Derek and hopped around at his feet as he lifted the phone to his ear.

"Hello?" Derek said cautiously as Zoey continued to giggle and bounce about.

"I don't know what you've gotten yourself into, Derek Shepherd…" She said in an amused, yet stern voice.

"Mom…"

"But whatever it is… it sounds to me like you're handling it just fine." She said as Derek sighed in relief as he looked down at the little girl.

"Mom… can I call you back in about ten minutes… let me… scoop her ice cream and get her settled down, and I'll call you back and explain all of this." Derek said softly.

"That's fine, Derek." She said as she listened to the giggling little girl.

"Ten minutes… please… please don't tell anyone just yet, I want this to be a surprise." He begged as he watched Zoey dance around him.

"Oh… this will be more than a surprise, I'm guessing." Marjorie replied. "I'll be waiting for your phone call."

"Thank you." He replied as he hung up the phone on the wall and turned quickly, scooping the little girl right off the floor mid skip. She squealed and laughed as he lifted her above his head. "You, little miss… are going to get me into trouble!" He exclaimed with a laugh as she giggled at him and wiggled in his arms. "Who is ready for ice cream?" He asked as her eyes opened wide and her mouth opened surprise.

"Me! Me! I want ice cream!" She exclaimed as Derek scooped her to the floor and watched as she ran for the table, sliding onto the chair, she grinned as Derek walked toward the cupboard for a bowl.

"I don't know what I'm going to do with you…" Derek said with a chuckle as he watched her smile.

"Keep me forever." She grinned.

* * *

><p>Derek scooped Zoey's ice cream and settled her in the living room on the floor in front of the television. He turned on a Disney movie and she smiled up at him for just a moment before she was completely mesmerized by the television screen. She ate her ice cream slowly as she watched the story unfold.<p>

"Zoey, I'm going to call my mom back… okay?" He said softly as she glanced to him as if she hadn't heard what he was saying. "I'll be in the kitchen…" He said softly as she nodded and turned her head toward the television screen once again.

"Uh huh…" She whispered.

Derek stepped into the kitchen and glanced back down the hallway to the little girl, watching as she remained mesmerized by the bright colors and the story on the television screen. He reached for the phone and dialed his mother's phone number, her voice answering on the second ring.

"Hello?" She said softly into the line.

"Hey…" Derek said, his voice was anxious, but he had a bit of a smile on his lips as he watched the little girl from down the hallway.

"Derek." She said matter of factly. "Now what's going on over there?" She asked politely as she waited for his explanation.

"I… made a new friend." He said as he took a slow, deep breath. "A couple of months ago… on my way home from New York." He said as he listened to her listening carefully. "She was traveling alone… and… she was living with her grandmother when her grandmother passed away." He explained, deciding not to get into the sordid details of Zoey's case. "She went to live with her Aunt… here in Seattle… and her Aunt had um… an accident and couldn't care for her any longer. She's in the hospital… and so the little one needed a place to stay… and she wanted to stay with me… so I took her in." He explained.

"How old is she?"

"Six." Derek cleared his throat. "She's six… and um… she's been through a lot… a lot of trauma… and I think… um… I think it made her feel better talking to someone other than me, so… so, thank you for being kind to her."

"Derek, I'm not a monster…" Marjorie said, her voice sounding vaguely offended.

"I didn't say that you were a monster." Derek replied, his voice becoming agitated. "Why do you have to make this about you? I said thank you for being nice to her… that was all."

"Yes, and you're assuming that I wouldn't be?" She asked, her voice getting slightly higher as she spoke.

"Not this again… alright? I am not going to argue with you on the phone… its stupid, okay, it's really stupid to argue about it." Derek said, his voice raised slightly as he spoke. He glanced down the hallway and could see those two gray eyes staring back at him as he lowered it quickly. "I was saying thank you… okay?" He whispered softly, as he watched Zoey turn back to her movie.

"It's fine." She said softly into the line. "Are you sure you can handle a child on your own, Derek?"

"We're doing fine." He said softly. "I am on call tomorrow… I need to find a babysitter… but other than that, it's just fine… she's in school for the full day during the week, and I'm able to get the rest of the afternoons off… the hospital has a daycare if I need it, and she likes my cooking… so that's a plus." He said softly.

"Are you still hanging out with… that… what was that fellow's name that thinks he's God's gift to women?"

"Mark?" Derek laughed at her description. "Yes… Mark is around… he's great with Zoey, she loves him… but he can't watch her tomorrow either, he's on call too. I'll be able to find someone." Derek said with a soft sigh. "I should probably go… but I wanted you to know a little about her… and there are other details… but… I'll talk to you about them later… I… have a few things I have to figure out." He said softly.

"Derek." She said with a swallow, her voice sounding anxious.

"Hmm?" He whispered.

"It is a big thing that you've done for that little girl… I'm very proud of you." She whispered.

"Thank you."

"If you need anything. Call me." She said softly.

"I will." Derek replied.

"I do love you, Derek… despite all of our arguments and fights… I love you very much." She said as she listened to his smile over the phone, she could hear the slight curling of his lips.

"I love you too, Mom." He whispered. "I'm sure I'm going to need some advice." He said softly. "Are you thinking about coming for Thanksgiving?" He asked.

"I'll be there." She replied. "I'll make sure everyone else is too." She said quickly.

"Just remember…"

"Your secret is safe with me…"

"Thanks, Mom." He whispered. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, sweetheart." She said softly as he reached to hang up the phone as he peered down the hallway and noticed that the little girl was no longer sitting in front of the television.

* * *

><p>Derek walked down the hallway slowly, looking around for the little girl as he listened to the sound of the television chattering away. "Zoey?" He said, trying not to sound too worried, he looked to the door and noted that it was still locked. "Zoey, sweetheart?" He called. He glanced to the floor where her half eaten bowl of ice cream sit, her toys were gone from the spot where they were beside her and there was no answer. "Zoey?" he called as he walked toward the stairs, climbing them slowly as he called her name again.<p>

He was answered by silence as he walked toward her room, noticing that it was dark, he glanced in his room and a couple other rooms as he called her. "Zoey, where are you hiding, little girl?" He called as he entered her room, immediately noticing the light beaming from under the closet door. "Zoey…?" he whispered as he heard the sound of her very low hushed voice as she talked quietly.

"Hush…" He heard her say, her voice low and soft. "DD is coming…" She said as he walked into the room and up to the closet door.

He knocked on the door lightly. "Zoey?" He said , his voice displaying his anxiety as he waited for her to reply. "Zoey, are you in there, sweetheart?" He whispered.

"Um…" She said, her voice a little louder as she shuffled things around in the closet. "Yes, I'm in here… just a minute…" She said as her shuffling became a little more frantic. "Just a minute…" She said as suddenly, the door opened and she stepped out quickly, closing the door behind her. "Hi." She said with a shy smile, the room was dark but for the light from beneath the closet and the light of the hallway. Derek was feeling very anxious about this strange, secretive behavior and took a very slow, steady deep breath.

"I thought you were watching your movie…" Derek asked softly as he tilted his head and watched a sense of surprise wash over her face that he hadn't asked why she was in the closet.

"Oh, I was…" She said, walking past Derek, she slipped out of the room. He listened as her little feet padded down the stairs toward the television and he heard the movie turn back on.

He paused for a moment as he stood in front of the closet door, on the cusp of being curious and feeling guilty about it, he tried to stop himself, but his hand reached out for the closet door and opened it slowly. Sitting in a little circle, but for a spot for Zoey, were her three favorite toys, one or two Barbie dolls and a stuffed animal or two. In the middle of the circle sat her backpack, the one that Mark had brought to her. It was packed full of something, and Derek couldn't imagine what. He swore at himself for his curiosity, and crouched down to the bag. He lifted it up and thought for a moment that this wasn't his, this wasn't his to go into.

He pushed his thoughts aside and instead of letting the little girl have her privacy, he unzipped the tiny bag. Within the bag was a small blanket, haphazardly knitted, and very well worn. He brought the blanket to his nose, smelling its mustiness, with just a slight hint of sweetness. He pulled out a small box, opening it with his fingers, he found a pendant, silver and worn with the letter 'M' etched in a swirling, beautifully scrolled font. He then saw a small picture frame, shoved haphazardly to the bottom of the bag, its frame was worn and well loved, the picture protected by the glass. The picture was of a younger, healthier looking Meredith holding a small bundle in her arms, staring at her child with such love and adoration, that Derek became lost in the picture. There was so much love in her eyes, so much love and care, and fear in her eyes, and he became so lost in the picture, that he didn't notice the small figure in the doorway of the closet behind him.

"DD!" She exclaimed. "That's mine!" She shouted, startling him. The picture slipped from his hands and he reached forward to catch it, feeling it slipping from his fingertips as it fell to the ground, its frame and glass covering shattering on impact of the hardwood floor of the closet. He heard a sharp intake of breath from the little girl as she watched the picture frame shatter, his own heart shattering with hers as she stared at the broken pieces settling on the floor. "No!" She screamed. "No! No!"

"Zoey…" Derek whispered.

"Bad, DD!" She screamed as she turned and ran from the room, her tiny feet pounding down the stairs as hard and as fast as she could move them.

* * *

><p>Derek stood for a moment, looking at the broken frame and broken glass that littered the inside of the closet. He looked around at the stuffed animals on the floor, her prized possessions, her warmth, her comfort. She had surrounded herself with the things that made her happy and made her feel comfortable, sharing with them the memories of her mother, the memories of when she felt the safest, and he had literally destroyed it in front of her very eyes. In front of all of their eyes, plastic or painted, he felt his stomach knot as he placed her bag on the floor and stepped over the mess he had made.<p>

"Zoey!" He called, listening to her running across the floor downstairs. "Zoey, come here!" Derek called. His voice was desperate and full of sorrow, his hands shaking as he ran from the room and down the stairs, following the sound of her feet as their pounding stopped and he heard the sound of the sliding door in the back of the house open and slam closed. "Zoey… Zoey, please!" Derek called as he ran down the hallway and to the back door, where he pressed his face against the window, watching as she climbed onto the swing on the back porch, turned and grabbed the blanket she had pulled from the chair and wrapped it around herself as she stared at her feet and rocked back and forth.

He carefully slid the door open and walked toward her. "Zoey… Zoey, I'm sorry… look at me… look at me, sweetheart?" He asked as he crouched down in front of her, her feet rocking as she stared at them, kicking Derek as she rocked, not on purpose, but not really caring at the same time. "Zoey, please look at me." Derek whispered as he moved his head into her line of sight, sending her eyelids closed tightly. "Please, little girl… DD is sorry… he's sorry… look at him, sweetheart, please? Please look at me, baby…" Derek whispered as she squeezed her eyes tighter, pulling her hand across her face as a tear escaped the corner of her eye. "Please… please, Zoey…" He whispered as he felt hot tears rolling down his face. "Please?" He said in a broken voice as she shook her head, another tear rolling down her cheek as she tried to hold in her tears, her teeth gritting as she clenched her fists and held tightly to the blanket. "Do you want me to go away?" He whispered, watching her nod her head quickly. "Are you sure?" Another nod. "I'm going to go into the house… I'll let you… I'll let you be alone…" He whispered. "I'm sorry… I'm so sorry, Zoey, I'm sorry…" He sniffled as he reached out to pull her hair from her face, watching her push him away.

His heart was clenching, shooting pains into his chest as he tried desperately to hold in his emotions. "I love you… I love you and I'm sorry… I'm sorry…" He whispered as he stood up and took a step backwards, watching as she caught another sob, a loud gasp as she clenched her teeth and eyes harder as he slipped back into the house and closed the door.

She heard the door slide closed and she could feel him watching her, she could feel him willing her to accept his apology. She could feel his sorrow, feel his pain and anger at himself. She could sense that he was hurting too, but her eyes were closed so tightly and all she kept seeing over and over was the vision of her mother's picture falling from his fingertips and breaking into a million pieces at his feet. "Mama…" She whimpered as she squeezed her eyes tightly. "Why did you have to go to heaven, Mama!" She shouted angrily as she slammed her fist down on the swing. "I'm so alone…" She sobbed, staring up at the top of the porch, she moved her eyes down and they settled on the image of Derek sitting on the chair in the kitchen, his head in his hands as he too cried tears of sorrow.

She watched him as she cried, her tears rolling down her cheeks quickly as she cried, she put her head down when he looked up at her, allowing her tears to fall into her lap as she stood up and walked toward the door. She wiped her tears from her face and reached up for the door, sliding it open, she walked inside as she sniffled, holding back her sobs as she closed the door again, she kept her eyes downcast as she walked past him out of the kitchen, down the hallway and back up the stairs, leaving Derek alone with only the memory of the happy little girl.

He waited a short time, her sobs didn't last long after she had gone to her room, and Derek thought that maybe she had fallen asleep upstairs. He walked to the stairs and climbed delicately up each step to her room. He thought to knock, but if she were asleep he didn't want to wake her. He stepped into the room and by the light of the moon shining in her window, he could see her still form on the bed, curled comfortably on her blanket. Her thumb was planted firmly in her mouth, her arm wrapped securely around Molly as she slept soundly. On her other side, grasped tightly in her hand was Floyd, the little mouse from Alex. His brow furrowed as he swallowed hard, his eyes traveling the room for only a moment as they led him to the small rocking chair across the room. In the rocking chair, covered comfortably with a blanket, alone and away from all of her other toys, sat Mister Derek. Derek's breath caught in his throat as he looked at the bear sitting across the room so sad and alone. He first walked to the bed, lifting the blanket over her tiny body, she curled instinctively within it, her eyes closed tightly as she barely moved. He then stepped over to the rocking chair, watching the gentle rise and fall of the little girl's chest as he lifted the bear from his resting place. He turned and backed himself into the chair, pulling Mister Derek into his arms, he covered his lap with the blanket, wrapped his arms around the bear and fell asleep to the sound of the little girl's sleepy sighs as he cried silent tears for her.

* * *

><p>Derek lean uncomfortably in the rocking chair, his sleep was cramped and full of cricks and cramps as he sit on the rocking chair. At one point in the middle of the night, he felt a slight pressure on his leg. He didn't move as he felt the coolness of the room envelop him for a moment as the blanket covering him was lifted off his body. He kept his eyes closed, not wanting to frighten her or send her running off. He stayed perfectly still as he felt a hand on his leg, pushing slightly as her little bottom deposited itself in his lap. He felt her tuck Molly in his other arm beside Mister Derek, and Floyd in his other arm as she pushed herself into his embrace and pulled the blanket over them both.<p>

She reached up gently and placed a very small kiss on the corner of Derek's chin, whispering soft sentiments of sweet dreams before she lay her head on his arm and fell back to sleep.

When morning came, Derek thought that what he had experienced had only been a dream because when he opened his eyes, the little girl was nowhere in sight. He straightened himself out and looked around, his lap was cold and his arms no longer held the small child. He looked in his arms and found that all three toys had been tucked gently on his lap, and the closet door was open.

He lifted the toys and held them as he placed each on the bed where she always left them when she was going to school, tucking them delicately beneath the blanket as she always did. He walked toward the closet, peering in for a moment he saw that she had cleaned the broken pieces of the frame and had swept them into a pile. The picture was no longer on the floor and her backpack was not in the closet anymore. He stepped farther into the closet, noticing a small folded piece of paper that had found its way tucked along the side of a box in the closet. The paper was yellowed and worn, and when he opened it, he didn't recognize the writing, but he quickly realized who it was from.

He turned the paper in his hand, realizing that it must have been tucked in the picture frame, placed there for its eventual finding by the little girl. He read the message again and again as he turned sharply at the sound of the little girl walking up the stairs, her shoes smacking the hardwood steps of the stairs as she neared the room.

Derek slipped the paper in his pocket as he stepped out of the closet, leaving it opened like it was when he walked inside. He walked over to the rocking chair and stood beside it as she entered the room. She was dressed, her hair brushed, and she stood in the door with her arms folded across her chest.

"Hey…good morning…" He said softly, waiting for her reply as she looked him up and down, glanced around him to see that her toys were tucked into bed, she turned sharply and walked out of the room. "Hey… don't I get a good morning?" Derek asked, the only reply was the sound of her feet bounding back down the stairs. "The silent treatment…" He mumbled as he walked out of her bedroom toward his room to get showered and dressed.

* * *

><p>Derek showered and dressed and walked downstairs to find Zoey had eaten and was waiting patiently by the door for Derek, her backpack on her back, her coat and shoes on. She sat on the couch until Derek was finished getting ready. He kept talking to her, trying to get her to respond, but her mouth remained closed, her eyes averted from his as he held his hand out to her. "Alright, let's go…" He said as she turned from his hand, reached for the doorknob and opened the door, walking through the door, she ignored his outstretched hand and walked outside. "Come on… you're not even going to hold my hand?" He complained as he followed after her down the steps toward the car. "Zoey, please?" He begged as she stood beside the car door. She looked up at him and back toward the car. "I'm not unlocking the door until you talk to me." She ignored him and stared at the car. "Come on, Zoey…"<p>

She ignored him and he unlocked the car anyway, opening the door for her, she slipped into the car and grabbed the seatbelt, glaring at Derek when he reached for it to help her. She stretched it across herself and latched it as Derek leaned down to kiss her cheek. She moved from his kiss and he ended up lifting his head, slamming it on the top of the car. "Ow… hey… I'm just trying to tell you that I love you… I'm sorry…Zoey… please? Please talk to me?"

She stared at the seat in front of her as she waited patiently for Derek to drive her to school. He gave up after a moment and climbed into the driver's seat, driving them toward the hospital, he tried talking to her the entire way, trying this and that to get her to talk to him. He didn't want to push her, but her silence was deafening, and he needed her voice. He needed her to talk to him. He pulled into the parking lot and got out, turning to see Zoey unbuckling her seatbelt and grabbing her backpack as she reached for the door handle. She pulled on it as Derek climbed out of the car and rushed around to her side just as she slammed the door closed. She looked up at him and turned for the sidewalk. "Come on, Zoey… hold my hand… you have to hold my hand, we have to cross a couple of roads… I promise if you hold my hand, I won't make you talk to me." he said as she stopped. She turned around and watched Derek approach her. He held his hand out to her and she reluctantly grabbed hold of it, sighing as he smiled triumphantly.

He held her hand securely in his as they walked toward the school and true to his word, Derek didn't ask her any questions or try to get her to talk to him. They walked up the steps of the school together, her silence was starting to make his stomach hurt, he could feel a tightening in his chest, his mouth was strangely dry, and he squeezed her hand to see if she would squeeze back, with no response at all.

They stepped up to the room as Derek waved to Kara as they approached. "Hey, Derek… Hi, Zoey…" She said in a soft voice as Zoey continued to pull Derek past her, refusing to say hello.

"I'll be right back…" He said quickly as he let her pull him toward the room. They reached the room and she let go of his hand, turning around, she faced him and looked up at him.

"I love you…" He said softly as she looked up into his eyes. "I'm sorry." He whispered.

She looked down at his feet and back up at his face. "Your shoelace is untied." She said simply. He looked down at his sneaker and back up, but in that split second, she had disappeared into her classroom. He swallowed hard. He didn't know whether to laugh, or to cry as he stood there staring into the room. His eyes moved back down to his tied sneaker as he felt the lump in his throat. "Oh yeah…" Her voice sent his eyes up to her face appearing from around the corner. "I love you too, DD." She said quickly as she turned back around and disappeared back into the room.

* * *

><p>He stood for a moment in front of the door, watching the children running around, hanging up their jackets, finding their places and he took a very slow, very deep breath. He closed his eyes for a moment and felt a hand on his shoulder. "Derek?" Kara said as she watched him release his breath slowly, opening his eyes, he turned his head to her.<p>

"Hey." He said, with a half smile. He tried to sound nonchalant, but it only came across as exhausted.

"Are you alright? You look like you were counting to ten…" She said with a friendly smile.

"I was just… hey, how are you feeling? You were pretty upset yesterday because of your patient…" He said as he put his hand on her shoulder and started to lead her away from the classroom.

"You're changing the subject." She replied. "Denial, Derek…"

"Not denial… concern… are you feeling better?" He asked.

"You're changing the focus… I'm asking about you, and you're changing the focus…"

"Good… you look to be on top of your game today… you must have gone home, had a nice meal… gotten some sleep…"

"Bubble bath, I had a bubble bath…" She said as they walked out of the school and down the steps.

"And here I am… trying to be a good friend and not imagine you naked or in bed…" He said as he laughed at her shocked face. "Sorry… was that an inappropriate joke?" he asked as she stood with an amused, slack jawed face at the top of the stairs as he passed her and walked quickly down them, turning around with a smirk as she stood there.

"Derek!" She exclaimed as she hopped down the stairs quickly after him, smacking him with her hand. "I'll have you know… I have a boyfriend who would be pretty jealous if he heard you talking like that."

"Well… I have a girlfriend who would be pretty upset if she heard me say that…" He said, as he kept walking, smiling as she caught up with him.

"Hey, you never mentioned that you had a girlfriend…" She said as she looked over at him as he laughed.

"I just dropped her off at school…" He said with a laugh as she shook her head. "You never told me that you had a boyfriend." He said, nudging her as they walked.

"You never asked." She said as she walked backwards a little and watched him raise his eyebrows at her.

"Touché" he replied, nodding at her giggle.

"So, you were going to tell me something yesterday…" She said as she glanced to Derek, trying to get his attention as he walked with his head down. "About Zoey…"

"I was?" He replied, looking up at her, shuffling his feet as he stopped. He tilted his head as he feigned confusion. "I don't think I was…" He said as he turned and continued to walk.

"Yeah you were… and the little ones came out of the room, and you stopped… Does it have anything to do with the fact that you're not Zoey's father?" She asked as Derek stopped. He stared at his feet for a moment and Kara instantly felt bad. "Derek… sorry… I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that… I'm just… I'm pushy and Carrie told me that Zoey had told her some things, and I asked her a couple questions… I'm sorry…"

Derek smirked at his feet as he lifted his eyes to hers. "No… she's not my daughter…" He said with a polite smile. "I told you… she's my girl…" He chuckled as he continued to walk. She rushed to catch up with him again as they walked across the parking lot.

"You adopted her?"

"Took her in." Derek said as he walked with Kara by his side. "I feed her… she eats a lot… does your daughter eat a lot?" He asked as he gave Kara a strange look. When she didn't answer right away, he just continued talking. "I hold her when she has nightmares… I make sure she has clean clothes and a bed to sleep in… she's not my biological child… and I really don't know her family very well…I just… She's in a very unique situation… and I was in the right place at the right time, and when all is said and done… she keeps me sane." He said, stopping at the door as the doors opened in front of him. He ushered Kara inside, and smiled as she nodded and laughed, walking past him into the hospital as he followed behind her.

"You took her in… well, that was very noble of you."

"Not noble… it was my responsibility… she needed me, and I needed her… and now she needs her mother… and its my responsibility to make sure that happens."

"Where is her mother?"

"Oh… well… that's another talk for another walk to work…" He said with a smirk. "I should go… I have some new interns today… I have to get them all situated and initiated…" He winked as he took a step backwards.

"Okay…" She said with a smile. "What about lunch… are you busy then?" She asked with a polite smile.

"Actually… I have a date…" he raised his eyebrows at her.

"You do?" She asked.

"I do…" He nodded. "With one of the most beautiful women in the hospital… excluding yourself, of course…" He nodded.

"Oh well then… you have fun on your lunch date…"

"I will… she's a shy one… but I'm dying to get inside her head…" He wiggled her eyebrows at her.

"I hope that's all she lets you inside of…"

"Oh! That was getting me back for the…"

"Yeah, get out of here… you have interns to corrupt…" She giggled as she watched him take off for the stairs as she laughed on her way to the elevator.

* * *

><p>Derek was about to step into Meredith's room, a brown bag in his hand when he was grabbed from behind. "What the… Cris, what the hell do you want?" He said with an almost angry scowl as he turned to face Cristina as she looked down the hallway to see if anyone saw his outburst.<p>

"Is that any way to talk your superior?" She asked, raising her eyebrows at Derek as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"I'm on my lunch break… you're no more my superior to me on my lunch break than my thumb is to my middle finger." He said as he gave her a demonstration.

"Oh, that was clever… where'd you come up with that one? A monkey teach you?"

"Alright, Cris… let's get back to the question at hand. What the hell do you want?"

"What crawled up your ass and died, Doctor Shepherd…? I wanted to know if you had found a babysitter for mini Mer yet…"

"You mean Zoey?" He asked, raising his eyebrows with an irritated scowl.

"Yeah… duh…" She sighed.

"No, I haven't found a babysitter yet…" He said with an irritated sigh. "Maybe I'll just drag her around the hospital with me… traumatize her a little more… it seems you'd like that… you can't call her by her name, you give me a days notice of having to be on call… and then, you put me on call for two nights in a row… you know I have responsibilities, I thought we had an agreement, and understanding… but I see now that I was wrong… you're just as spiteful and nasty as the chief… you don't give a shit about Meredith or her daughter… you're an awful friend and if I were her, I'd figure out a way to talk just so that I could tell you how much of a bad friend you really are." He growled.

"You know, Derek…" She said, barely even affected by his words. "I think I may have found you a babysitter…" She said with a smirk, just as he felt a tap on his shoulder.

"Hey guys!" Izzie said with a happy smile.

"Cris… no…" Derek whispered under his breath.

"Izzie… what are you doing tonight?" Cristina asked.

"No…" Derek growled under his breath again.

"Nothing… why?"

"Derek is looking for a babysitter for Zoey… He's on call… you interested?"

"Cristina!" Derek growled.

"Sure…" She said with a grin. "Oh… but I have to check on Meredith… she needs her meds and therapy before bed…"

"Don't worry about that, I'll make sure Doctor Shepherd takes care of Meredith on his rounds." She said with a smirk as Izzie nodded.

"Okay!" She said with a smile as she glanced to Derek. "I just have to finish up here with Mer's afternoon therapy, and I will catch up with you, Derek…" Izzie said with a smile.

"Actually…" Cristina said with a smile. "Why don't you come with me to my office… I'll get you Derek's information… he'll take care of Meredith's therapy instead of taking his lunch break… he's a committed doctor…" She nodded with a faux serious look on her face.

"Cristina…" Derek sighed.

"Okay." Izzie said with a perky smile. "I'll meet you down at your office…" She said as she turned and faced Derek. "I'll see you later, Derek…"

"Bye, Izzie…" Derek said politely as she disappeared down the hallway.

"Oh my GOD… you did NOT just do that to me!" Derek growled at Cristina as he took a step toward her just as she grabbed his shirt collar and pulled him down to her level.

"Listen to me, Doctor Shepherd." She said as she watched a couple doctors walk past her looking nervous as she threatened Derek. "Say one more word and you're going to have more than your share of things to do tonight while you're on call… one more word and you're cleaning out the MRI room when everyone has gone home… one more word… and you'll be cleaning that room from top to bottom… inside the machine… outside the machine… you'll be everywhere… in the control room… everywhere… dusting… everything… hell, you could even get Meredith to help you scrub the inside if you want… I don't give a crap…" She said, her eyes sparkling as she shook her head and gave him an angry glare. "One… more… word…" She growled.

Derek smirked. He could read her eyes loud and clear, the look on her face said everything as he swallowed hard. "Bitch." He whispered, reaching his hand up, he uncurled her hand from his labcoat, turned and walked into Meredith's room, closing the door behind him.

* * *

><p>Derek stepped into the room without saying a word, he closed the door and looked immediately to the woman lying in the bed. He wanted nothing more for her to open her eyes as soon as he stepped in, but he knew that it wouldn't happen. He swallowed as he stood in the doorway.<p>

_It's about time, Izzie… My muscles are aching for you to man handle them again… I'm so freaking miserable… I just want this damn headache to go away… and my baby wasn't here last night, I hope she's alright. I only just met her, but it's so lonely without her voice. What's with the quiet too? I mean… the only time you're this quiet is when you have laryngitis. Oh, I'm hilarious… _

Derek took a step forward toward the bed. He watched the monitors as he stepped around to her chart, lifting it from the small holder as he read through it.

_Come on Izzie, talk to me… stimulate me… bore me to tears… I wonder how 'Brangelina' is doing this week… come on… who is Mark Sloan sleeping with now? Give me some hot hospital gossip… did you find out if Derek has a girlfriend yet? Did you find out who this Rachel chick is?_

He looked at the vitals and found that since the afternoon, her stats had all been a little on the low side. Her blood pressure was a little high recently, but other than that she was fairly stable. There were no indications on her chart of any interaction with anyone, leading him to believe that her eyes had remained closed while he was away, and he felt guilty for not visiting her the night before.

_Izzie? Come on… are you giving me some kind of silent treatment? You usually just leap into action and grab hold of my leg like you're getting ready to wrestle an alligator… but you're being too quiet… and you're really starting to freak me out._

He set the chart down and walked to her side. He leaned close to her, and very gently picked up her hand.

_You're not Izzie._

"Your daughter is no longer talking to me." He whispered softly, his voice showing his sorrow for the situation.

_Derek. Why isn't she talking to you? What happened? I am so happy to hear your voice._

As if on cue, her eyes opened. It was strange to Meredith, this ability to open her eyes when Derek was around. It wasn't like she only wanted to see him or Zoey, but something in his voice, in the presence he brought her the strength to move. Derek, Zoey, Cristina… something in their energy, their presence, their hope and personal, internal strength had a power to bring her around to communicating outwardly.

"Oh… so I get the satisfaction of seeing those beautiful eyes again."  
><em><br>Don't flatter yourself, brain man… go on…_

"She's not talking to me anymore, and I don't know how to get her to forgive me for what I've done…" He said softly.

**_'What?' _**She blinked as Derek read carefully, her eyes as he very gently began her therapy while he talked. His fingers danced over her skin so very gently, her sore muscles melting beneath his strong fingertips as he stroked her skin ever so lightly and helped her through her exercises.

"I broke something of hers… something that meant a lot to her… I didn't mean to, I didn't mean to even go through her little bag, but she was hiding in the closet… and you know… I still don't know her well… and she has such awful nightmares… and she's young, you know… and she was so traumatized, that I know there are things that she doesn't tell me… and I was afraid she was hoarding food… or was… I don't know… I don't know what I was expecting… but there was a picture of you…" He whispered as he watched her eyes, the concern held deep inside them as she followed him.

**_'Me?'_**

"It's a picture she must have brought from New York with her. I found a note that had fallen from it." He said as he continued to softly massage Meredith's arm, moving his fingertips up her arm as he watched her eyes remain on his.

**_'What?'_**

_What did it say?_'

"The note?" He said as he released her arm.

_Keep… no, don't…_

Derek reached into his pocket and pulled the paper out. He swallowed as he looked into her eyes. "Your mom put it in the frame of the picture…" He said softly as he turned, sitting down on the bed. "I found it this morning, and I don't think Zoey saw it." He said softly as he unfolded the paper and watched her eyes.

**_'Read.'_**

Derek looked down at the paper and cleared his throat softly. "Zoey… I don't think that I could live from day to day without you knowing the truth. I know that you won't read this before I'm gone, but you need to know that the person in this picture is not me. It is your real mother. She lives in Seattle, and she loves you very much. Meredith Leigh Grey. She is your mommy, please tell her that I loved her. Love always, your Grandmother. Ellis Grey." Derek read slowly as he folded the paper. He watched the tears in Meredith's eyes as she watched him react to her words, react to her sadness.  
><em><br>I hate her. I hate my mother._

Derek cleared his throat as he watched the tears roll down her cheeks. "Oh… please don't cry…" He whispered. "Please… please don't cry…" He whispered as he wiped her tears with his thumb, drying her cheek gently with his fingertips as he felt tears in his own eyes. "I am so sorry… but… I hate your mother so much…" He said as he swallowed hard. "I hate her for taking your little girl. She had no right… she had no right to do that to you… and now she's gone… and she had no intention of telling her the truth…" Derek swallowed. "She'll figure it out, Meredith… if I don't tell her, she'll figure it out…"

**_'Derek, please no cry' _**

Her eyes spoke to him as he wiped his own tear with his fingertips. "I'm sorry… I just… she means so much to me… and now she won't even talk to me, because I lost her trust."

_Derek, she's a girl… you invaded her privacy… but she still adores you… she loves you._

"She said she loved me before she went to school today… that's all she's said to me… she's giving me the silent treatment."

**_'You aren't complaining about me giving you the silent treatment'_**

Derek chuckled at her response, he could feel her smile within her still form. "You think you're funny, don't you?" He asked with a laugh.

**_'I like your laugh.' _**

"I am sure I will love yours." Derek replied as he imagined what her giggle would sound like, laughing with her eyes. "I want to tell her, Meredith. I want to tell her so she doesn't feel alone anymore."

**_'If I die?'_**

"No…" Derek said sternly. "That's not an option."

_But if I do, then it's another disappointment…_

"I don't want her to hurt anymore. I need her to know there are other people in the world that love her, that adore her. I told my stepmother about her."

_I am sure that went well._

"My stepmother and I don't get along very well…" Derek explained as he slipped the folded piece of paper into his pocket and watched Meredith listen. "My mother died when I was very young… she became sick after I was born, and only lived for about six months after I was born. My father was alone until I was nearly five years old… raising me and my four sisters and he met Marjorie. She was a nice enough woman… nice enough for me to call her Mom… I was young enough to know that she was trying… but old enough to have a grudge against her for trying to take my mother's place… and there was always tension between us… My father died… about two years ago… I had inherited a lot of money, and that's how I built my house… how I am able to survive on an intern's salary… and I think that Marjorie felt that my decision to live in Seattle was a way for me to get away from her…She's a nice woman… and though there is still some tension, I try to be civil." He explained. "She's going to visit for Thanksgiving… so that my family can meet Zoey…" He whispered. "I want her to have a family…"

**_'You are good.'_**

_You're being a very good father, Derek… You're being a very good father… stop doubting yourself._

"You're too kind…" He said as he reached out and touched her cheek as the door opened and a head poked in. Derek turned to face the young doctor who was standing nervously in the doorway.

"Um… uhm… Doctor… um… Doctor Shepherd?" The young intern said softly as Derek nodded.

"Yes? Doctor O'Malley, right… you're one of the first year interns from the orientation this morning?"

"Yes Sir…" He said with a nod. "Doctor Yang said you needed to see me?" He said as he stepped in and closed the door, seeing the young woman lying in the bed, her eyes bright as she didn't say a word, move, or anything. She just watched.

_Cristina?_

"Doctor Yang?" Derek said with a surprised sound in his voice.

"She said you needed me to bring something to the lab… something important…?" George stammered as he swallowed hard, unsure of what he was even there for.

"The lab?"

"Blood tests, or something." George said as he shrugged as he dragged in a tray with some equipment on it.

"Oh!" Derek said softly as he grabbed Meredith's chart. "Yes… blood tests…"

_Derek? Derek, what do you mean blood tests?_

"Doctor O'Malley, meet our new patient… Meredith Grey… Meredith, this is George O'Malley…"

"Hi, Meredith." George said with a polite smile.

_Hi George…_

"She's not going to be one of our more talkative patients, Dr. O'Malley." Derek said quickly as he grabbed the band from the tray and put it around Meredith's arm. "You see… she is unique… in that she's been out of it for about six years now…a little bit of a coma… and just recently, she's decided to come back to us…" Derek explained.

"Welcome back." George said awkwardly.

Meredith's eyes remained on Derek through the entire thing from the beginning to the end of him taking her blood, talking as nonchalantly as if he were just doing a routine checkup. He rubbed the spot on her arm as he handed the vials of blood to George. "We're going to do an MRI on Ms. Grey this afternoon. I want these vials marked with a different name though… you know… for privacy's sake…" Derek said as he wrote a few things down… George, what is your mother's name?"

"Um… um… Louise…" He mumbled as he looked at Derek strangely.

"That's good… we'll call her Louise Livingston…. Because living is what she's going to be doing when we find out what's going on with her…"

_Clever, Derek…_

"Why the alias?" George whispered as he accepted the vials and looked down at the young woman's eyes as she stared at the older doctor.

"Because there is nothing quite like that added privacy, is there, Doctor O'Malley… she's our patient, got that? Your patient and my patient… only you, me and the lab technician will touch this blood… and this conversation here… between you and I… it never happened… I want you to stand in the lab until the tests are done." He said as he scribbled several notes down on a paper from the chart and tore it out. He handed it to George. "Have them run these tests… maybe a couple of more for good measure" He said as George nodded anxiously. "Don't worry…its only your first day, O'Malley… they can't fire you on your first day…" He said as he ushered George out of the room and waited for the door to close as he turned and faced Meredith again.

**_'MRI?'_**

"You and I have a date with an MRI machine tonight...How does a little after midnight sound... just you, me... the subtle sounds of x-rays and brain scans..." Derek said with a smirk as he walked to Meredith's bedside, reached his hand out, and placed his hand on her cheek as he smiled softly. "You deserve this chance, Meredith… and I'm willing to risk everything I have to make it happen." He said softly as he watched another tear roll down her cheek.

_You're making it very hard for me not to fall for you, Derek Shepherd._


	10. No Other Option

Derek helped Meredith through her exercises, talking to her the entire time as his lunch hour slowly grew to a close. "I'm going to have to get going, Meredith…" He said softly as he felt her hand clamp onto his slightly.

"I will bring her to you… right after school I have about three hours off before my shift starts again." He smiled at her as he noticed her eyes were staring straight into his. "Izzie is going to watch her for me tonight. Don't worry, she'll be in good hands."

Man hands.

"I will have Izzie bring her to the hospital in the morning tomorrow, before school to see me so that I can walk her to school…"

If Izzie is watching her, and you're working, who will do my exercises with me? Who will keep me company? Who is going to tell me who is sleeping with who in the hospital? Derek… what will I do with all of my free time?

"You know…" Derek said as he watched her eyes. "You get this little look in your eyes sometimes when I'm talking… and I know you want to say something to me… but this particular look… I don't know…it's a little more playful than the other looks you give me… are you making fun of me?" He whispered as he leaned on the bed, looking down at her.

'Me?'

He could see the smile in her eyes, he could sense the giggle in her body that wouldn't allow it to escape. "I bet when you start talking again… you're never going to shut up." He said with a chuckle.

'Nope.'

"That's good to know." He said with a smile. "I was thinking… and I don't know what you think of this… but Zoey… I am sure she'd like to communicate with you. And… since you've gone all military on us with your superior Morse code knowledge… maybe we could make it a little easier on her… maybe we can say like… one blink for yes… two blinks for no."

'Three for… I love you.' Her eyes communicated back to him as he smiled.

"That sounds good…" He said as he squeezed her hand.

"I may need your help with this, Meredith." He whispered as he settled back on the bed again. "Cristina has… well, let's just say that she's earned an Oscar for her performance as a mean, nasty resident… she's trying to hold back the rumor mill, and make it look like I'm anything but competent and trustworthy." He whispered. "But if we find something in those scans… we're going to have to figure out how to do an MRI legitimately… so… we may need some acting on your behalf…" He said as he watched her eyes carefully. "Are you up for the task?" He asked.

She blinked once and his eyes lit up as he watched hers light up as well. "You may not be able to talk… but I bet your wit is quicker than mine." He said, watching her blink once more. "You're laughing at me, aren't you?" He laughed. One blink.

"I really should go…" He said softly as he stood up and smiled down at the woman lying in the bed. She blinked twice and he smiled. "I'll be back later…" He said as he watched her eyes droop. "Get some rest… and Zoey will be here before you know it." He said as he kissed her cheek softly, and with a smile as he moved toward the door. "Don't worry… you're not going to miss me, are you?" He said with a small laugh as she blinked once, twice. He laughed softly as he left the room, closing it securely behind him.

Three times.

* * *

><p>Derek walked with Kara to the school. He didn't tell her anything about Zoey being angry at him, and he didn't give her much more insight into Zoey's past. They walked pretty much in silence as Derek thought of his tasks later in the afternoon, his mind was very much full of other things, and he didn't even hear Kara talk to him when she finally said something.<p>

"Derek?" She said softly as she touched his shoulder.

"Hm…?" He asked as he turned to look into her eyes as she tilted her head.

"You didn't answer me." She said softly as she watched him give her an apologetic look.

"Oh… Oh, I'm sorry… I'm just… I'm kind of lost in my thoughts. What were you saying?"

"I was asking if you were interested in getting something to eat after we pick up the girls… You have time before you're on call, right?"

"Yeah… but… I promised Zoey we'd do something together…" He said with a nod.

"Go see sleeping beauty?" She asked as she watched Derek's eyebrows raise slightly. "Carrie told me a little…"

"Sleeping beauty is her mother." Derek said softly. "If you must know… nosy little thing…" Derek said with a slight smirk. "She… is in a coma."

"Her mother is in a coma? How horrible…" She said as she covered her mouth and looked Derek in the eyes.

"Yes… but… what is worse… is that she doesn't know it's her mother… she thinks her grandmother was her mother… it's a long, complicated story. I told you… its for another walk to work."

"And she's in the hospital… Zoey's mother?"

"She's on the psych floor… they think it's a psychological issue… I think it's a neurological issue… See… she can communicate… just recently she's begun to communicate in small bursts… and… I think if she's tested, we will find a clot or a tumor or something… but the chief of surgery refuses to go that avenue. Her mother had requested no testing on her, unless it was to save her life… unless…otherwise, she wanted her to die of natural causes when it was her time."

"It sounds cruel." Kara whispered.

"It's very cruel…" Derek replied. "But the crueler fate would be if she died before she was able to know her daughter… I'm not giving up on her." He whispered as he swallowed hard, letting his emotions show through in his face as he gave Kara a half smile. "They both deserve more than they've been given." He whispered.

"You really love them, don't you?" Kara said as she watched Derek's eyes dart to hers.

"I hardly um… I hardly even know, Meredith." He said as he cleared his throat.

"But you know her… and you care for her, it's evident in your reaction."

"It's not…strange?" He whispered. "To be reacting this way to someone who I have only known through a strange silent connection?"

"It's not strange at all, Derek. It shows you're compassionate… that you're caring and connected to this little girl. The fact that you want her mother to be well again is a testament to your values and your feelings and love for that little girl… who frankly, I think adores you… absolutely adores you." Kara says as they reached the classroom.

Zoey and Carrie came running out of the room together with their coats and bags and they both ran to Kara. "Mama… we had a great time at school today!" She said excitedly. "Can Zoey stay over sometime?" She asked as Zoey smiled brightly.

Kara looked to Derek, who looked lost as he looked to the little girl. She didn't even look in his direction and Kara thought it was odd. "We'll talk about it another day, sweetheart… not on a school night.

"Zoey… come on, sweetheart." Derek said softly, unsure of what to say to her as her face darted in his direction, and back to Kara.

"Bye, Carrie… bye Ms. Swann." She said softly as she turned toward Derek, who looked pathetically sad as her smile dropped from her smile. She walked over to him and took his hand.

"Bye, Derek…" Kara said as Zoey tugged on Derek's hand on their way toward the exit.

"See ya, Kara… Carrie…" he sighed as he let the little girl pull him through the hallways back to the sidewalk, her mouth closed and her demeanor solemn as they walked toward the hospital together.

* * *

><p>Derek held Zoey's hand tightly as they walked toward the hospital. Derek's questions about her day at school went unanswered as she stared straight ahead on their walk. He knew he had done something wrong by invading her privacy, but he was beginning to think that she was taking the silent treatment a little too far. He thought for a minute about telling her that they wouldn't visit Meredith until she spoke to him, but he was not sure how she would react, or if it would even be right for him to do that. He knew that Meredith was looking forward to her visit, and it would be unfair to her if he denied Zoey that visit.<p>

Parenting was a new adventure, something that he thought that he had maybe five or six years before he experienced it. He had helped his sisters with his nieces and nephews, but they were always well behaved… at least to their fun loving Uncle who never had to bring them down from their sugar highs or up from their grumpy lows. He wished for a moment that he had talked to Kara about the situation. Her daughter was Zoey's age, and though she hadn't experienced things the way that Zoey had, Derek was sure that Carrie had a silent streak in her.

"Why don't we sit down in one of the waiting rooms for a minute and talk before we go see Meredith." He said softly as he stopped in the lobby of the hospital.

"No." She grunted as she crossed her arms across her chest and glared angrily at Derek. "I don't want to talk to you." She muttered.

"We need to talk, Zoey." Derek said softly as he reached for her hand.

"No!" she exclaimed, slapping Derek's hand as she stepped back. "Don't make me run… I will run…" She muttered.

"Don't make me take you straight home like I did yesterday." Derek challenged as he raised his eyebrows. Her jaw dropped in surprise as she thought of the day before.

"You said I could visit Sleeping beauty." She mumbled as she continued to stand there staring at Derek.

"I did… I said if you're a good girl we could visit Meredith…and right now… this behavior… not talking to me, threatening to run… that's not being a good girl. That's being a very, very bad girl." He said crouching in front of her as she continued to give him an angry glare.

"I am not a bad girl!" She shouted as people looked as they passed. Derek refused to give in to her plan of embarrassing him. He showed no break in his coolness.

"Shouting… is being a bad girl too… let's go home." He said as he stood up and reached for her hand.

"No!" She said as she pulled on his hand as he grasped it. "No… no… I'm sorry… I'll talk to you… I'm sorry…" She mumbled as he stopped and turned around.

"You promise you'll talk to me?"

"Maybe." She mumbled as she shrugged.

"Maybe is better than nothing, I guess…" He said with a sigh. "Let's go see Meredith… then we'll talk about the arrangement for tonight."

"Tonight?" Zoey whispered.

"DD has to work tonight… Izzie is going to take you to my house and watch you overnight."

"No!" She said as she grabbed Derek's arm. "No… no, you tuck me in, DD! No one else!" She said as she started to whimper and hop from foot to foot. "No… No…" She whimpered.

"We'll talk about it after we visit with Meredith… let's go…" He said with a very soft sigh as she gripped his arm and walked with him to the elevator, where they got inside and pushed the button for Meredith's floor.

They rode the elevator in silence as Zoey clung to Derek's arm. As soon as the door opened, she released his arm and went to run, as Derek grabbed hold of her hand tightly. She turned and looked at him, shaking his head lightly she sighed heavily and walked at his side.

They walked toward Meredith's room, their stride was quick and purposeful as Zoey continued to look up at Derek as he just stared straight ahead, his thoughts elsewhere as he let go of her hand to open the door, watching her run quickly into the room.

"Sleeping Beauty, Sleeping Beauty!" She said excitedly as she ran up to Meredith's bedside and climbed onto the chair, climbed onto the bed and immediately leaned over and kissed Meredith on the cheek. "I missed you so much yesterday…" She said with a little sniffle as she smiled down at Meredith and began her usual babble about how school was and about her friends and how happy she was that she was visiting. "Are you going to wake up for me, Sleeping Beauty? I miss you…" She whispered as she kissed Meredith's cheek again. She looked to Derek quickly, but turned her face toward Meredith instead. "I am mad at DD…" She whispered. "He was a bad boy."

Though she was whispering, Derek could still hear her. A six year old's whisper is not exactly a whisper, but more of a normal person's speaking tone and he could feel the hurt in his heart from her words. "He wants to leave me all alone tonight with someone else… and work here at the hospital… he wouldn't take me to see you yesterday, Sleeping Beauty… he made me cry…"

"Zoey." Derek said as he stepped forward.

"Hush, DD… go away." Zoey snapped.

Suddenly, Zoey felt a firm hand on hers, squeezing it as Meredith's eyes opened slowly. "Sleeping Beauty!" She said with a grin as she looked to Derek instinctively, though his eyes were on Meredith. She could feel Meredith's hand on hers, and her eyes were not confused or anxious, but firm and concerned. Her eyes were on Derek, not Zoey for a moment.

"What is it?" Derek whispered, sensing that there was something that she needed to say.

'Don't let her talk to you that way.'

"Meredith…I…"

'No.'

"What is she saying?" Zoey asked innocently as she looked to Derek, watching as his forehead wrinkled as he looked into Meredith's eyes, her eyes not meeting Zoey's just yet. "DD, what is she saying? She's talking to you, what is she saying?"

"She said that you're being mean to me." Derek said as he glanced to Zoey, his eyes passing back to Meredith as she blinked once.

"She did not say that." Zoey said stubbornly, the response from Meredith being another squeeze to her hand. Zoey turned her face to Meredith, who started to blink again, her eyes looking straight into the little girl's.

"What is she saying?" Zoey asked in a high voice, still looking into Meredith's eyes.

"She says that DD loves you… don't be mean. Teach him…what he needs to know. Love him."

"I do love him…" She mumbled as she squeezed Meredith's hand.

"Forgive him." Derek whispered, reading her eyes as she stared into his. "Love him." He whispered again as his voice drifted off. He swallowed hard, this eyes becoming lost in Meredith's for a moment as he watched her carefully as Zoey looked between the two of them. Suddenly, Derek was pulled from his reverie, his eyes going to Zoey as he took a deep breath. "Do you want me to teach you how to talk to Meredith?" He whispered. "So you understand what she's saying?"

Her mouth opened wide as she smiled. "Yes!" She said excitedly as he looked to Meredith. "Alright… its easy…" He said softly as he smiled at Meredith, seeing her eyes light up in excitement to talking with her little girl. He turned and sat on the bed as Zoey allowed him to lift her into his lap as he explained the rules to what they called 'Yes, No, I love you.'

* * *

><p>Derek set the tray on the table in the cafeteria and held the little girl's hand as she pulled on it slightly, lifting herself up onto the chair, she sat down and looked up at Derek as she reached for her cheeseburger and fries on the tray. "Patience… patience…"<p>

"No, I'm not a patients… I'm your girl." She said with a giggle as she looked up at Derek and listened to his chuckle. "I like your laugh too, DD." She said with a smile.

"Well, I love yours…" Derek replied. "And I missed it."

She sighed as she climbed onto her knees and leaned over the table as Derek pushed the plate over to her and she grabbed the cheeseburger from the plate and shoved it into her mouth, munching on it as she watched Derek give her a sideways glance as he picked up his sandwich. "You eat more like a bear, less like a small child." Derek remarked as he watched her giggle with her mouth full of cheeseburger.

"DD… I'm sorry I was mean." She said as she swallowed her bite and looked up at him. "I am sorry."

"I know you're sorry, little one." Derek said as he took another bite. "I should have been more careful."

"You shouldn't go through my stuff…" She nodded.

"Well… here…" He said as he pulled the tray closer to him. "See this?" Derek said as he counted out six French fries and put it in one pile, and then started counting out another larger pile of French fries.

"What are you doing?" She asked as she watched him, setting her cheeseburger down.

"This… is you…"

"No, that's six French fries…" She giggled.

"Okay… these french-fries are like… they… represent you." He said. "Because you're six years old." He said as Zoey nodded. "This… bigger pile of French fries… there are…"

"A MILLION!" She exclaimed.

"A million? Really? Do you really think I'm a million years old?"

"You could be, you're smart…and older than me…" She shrugged.

"I'm not a million." He rolled his eyes. "Okay… so… there are twenty six French fries." He replied.

"Twenty six?" She asked as she opened her mouth wide in surprise.

"That is not a lot… come on…" Derek replied as he sighed.

"What about the French-fries, DD? You're off topic, and I'm hungry."

"Okay, okay… so like… you are like six French fries…" Derek said as he showed her pile and I'm like twenty six… meaning… I'm older, you know? It means… I'm about twenty more French fries smarter than you, and twenty more French fries more responsible than you." He said.

"Um… You lost me."

"Okay… it means… the bigger pile gets to know more… it means… you are smaller than me, so you have to tell me things…"

"I don't get it…"

"Eat your French fries…" He said with a laugh as he shook his head.

"Look…" She said with a giggle as she reached out and grabbed a fry from the larger pile. "I'm making you younger!" She laughed as she shoved it into her mouth and giggled as Derek shook his head and laughed.

They laughed and ate their dinner together as Zoey leaned her head on Derek and told him about her day at school, when Derek looked up to see Izzie walking across the cafeteria.

"HI!" She exclaimed as she got to the table. She sat down next to Derek and leaned toward Zoey. "How are you?" She said with an overly saccharine voice.

"Fine." Zoey said as she raised her eyebrows and looked to Derek, her eyes flashing back to Izzie.

"Derek… is going to have to work tonight, sweetheart, and he asked me if I would look after you at his house…" She said with a smile.

"Oh, that sounds like so much fun…" Zoey said in an almost sarcastic tone that Derek didn't miss, but flew into one of Izzie's ear and very quickly skipped its way out the other.

"We can make cookies, or play with dollies… and then we'll tell stories and go nighty night…"

"Oh goody goody gumdrops!" Zoey said in a sarcastic giggle as she looked to Derek and noticed the amused, yet stern look on his face. She giggled and tilted her head. "You're bringing me right back here in the morning." She stated and didn't ask Izzie as she shoved another French fry in her mouth.

"Oh! Of course! It'll be so fun!" Izzie said in an overly giggly voice.

"I'm excited too…" Derek said in a fake giggle as Zoey laughed and Izzie looked at him strangely as he looked down at Zoey and then to his tray. He tilted his head and looked the little girl in the eye. "Like… twelve French fries…" Derek said with a nod.

"That's what I thought." Zoey nodded as she shoved another French fry into her mouth and smiled at Izzie as they finished their dinner.

* * *

><p>Derek walked with Izzie and Zoey toward the car. She held his hand tightly as they walked, looking up at him with a bit of a lost look in her eyes, he leaned down and lifted her up into his arms as they walked. She wrapped her arms around his neck and held him tightly as Derek talked about how to get to his place.<p>

"I can't believe you live all the way out there… I would think you'd want to be close to the hospital to get here in emergencies and stuff… but like… you're a ferry ride and a long drive away and all that… you should get a place closer to the hospital… I have a place… right down the road from the hospital… between where Lexie lives and… crap…" Izzie whispered.

"What?" Derek said as Izzie bit her lower lip.

"I have to go back to the house and get the mail… I was taking care of the house… until the um… police were done, and I have to go and clean and…"

"You will not under any circumstances bring this child anywhere but home… Izzie… I'm serious… home and back to the hospital, that is it…" Derek said sternly as Izzie sucked her breath in slightly. "I am absolutely serious, Izzie." Derek said, his voice even more stern as he shook his head. "My house… hospital… that is it."

"DD's house and hospital…" Zoey whispered into Derek's ear.

"Alright, alright…" Izzie rolled her eyes as she got to Derek's car and he unlocked it quickly. He reached inside and pulled her car seat carefully while still holding tightly to the little girl.

"You're going to have to loosen your grip a little, you little monkey…" Derek whispered as she squeezed him tighter. "Don't worry… I am not going to be far…" He said as he pulled the seat from his car and held it with his free hand as he held Zoey tightly with his other.

"Don't make me go, DD…" She whimpered.

"Shh…" He whispered as he bounced her as they followed Izzie to her car. They stepped up to Izzie's car and she unlocked the doors. Derek opened the back door and crouched down, pulling Zoey's arms from his neck, he set her on the ground. As he fastened the car seat into the car, she clung to his leg tightly.

"Don't leave me…" She whimpered. "Please…"

"Don't worry… you'll get home… you'll get some sleep… and Izzie will take you right here to see DD." He said as he pulled her from his leg and lifted her into the car.

"I don't want to… I want you to tuck me in…" She whined.

"How about…" He said as he pulled his calling card from his pocket and handed it to her. "If you get scared, sad, unhappy… you name it… and you want to talk to me… you call this number… it'll go right to my phone or my peeper…"

"Your peeper…" She mumbled as she took the card and put it in her pocket.

"Make sure you give Mister Derek, Floyd, and Molly a kiss goodnight…" He said softly.

"I will…" She whispered.

"Please try your best to be a good girl for Izzie…" He whispered. "She's a nice lady… she takes good care of Sleeping Beauty, doesn't she?" He asked.

"Yes…" She sighed.

"Then I think she is just the lady for the job of taking care of you…" He smiled. "Why don't you talk about Sleeping Beauty… she makes you smile, right?" Derek asked.

"Yes…" She whispered. "I can tell her the story…"

"The story?"

"Sleeping Beauty and Prince Derek…" She said solemnly as Derek kissed her cheek.

"Great idea…" He said with a smile as he ran his fingers through her hair. "You know what my job is tonight, right?"

"No…" She whispered.

"I… get to keep an eye on your Sleeping Beauty." He whispered.

"She's your Sleeping Beauty too." She replied.

"She is?"

"Yes." Zoey whispered. "I asked her if she liked you and she blinked one time during 'Yes, No, I love you.'" She said with a little smile.

"Well I guess I'm just going to have to talk to her about that, aren't I?" He said with raised eyebrows.

"I guess…" She giggled.

"You have sweet dreams, little monkey…" Derek whispered. "I'll call you before bedtime."

"Not if I call you first…" She said with a giggle as she patted her pocket.

"Hey… that number is for emergencies." He said as he leaned forward and kissed her nose. "I love you, Zoey Grey." He said softly as she smiled a sad smile.

"I love you, DD Grey…" She said as Derek's eyes widened and she giggled. "You're my DD…" She shrugged.

"You're my girl… I'll talk to you soon…"

"Bye, DD… don't forget I love you."

"I would never…" He said as Izzie started up the car. "I love you."

"Bye…" She said with one more wave before Derek closed the car door and watched Izzie drive away, as Derek watched the car disappear, the little hand of Zoey waving in the air as it disappeared out of sight.

* * *

><p>12:00am.<p>

Derek walked down the hallway toward Meredith's room. He had just gotten off the phone with Izzie, who claimed she hadn't seen Zoey since they walked in the house. The little girl had hung up her coat, pulled off her shoes and walked directly upstairs to his bedroom where she had closed the door. She said she checked on her now and then, finding her snuggled in Derek's bed with her three stuffed friends, the pillow in her arms as she curled her body into the bed.

He looked through the labs that George had delivered to him not ten minutes earlier and turned to lean against the wall as he looked at the results. He scratched his head as he glanced to the door, his brow furrowed as he opened the door and walked inside the room. The sound of the machines was low, and he remained quiet as he continued to look through the results.

You can try to be quiet, Shepherd, but I know its you.

He had visited Meredith a little earlier that evening, helping her with her exercises, her eyes remaining closed throughout, though he knew she was in there somewhere. He talked to her about Zoey, about his family, about the surgeries that he had been involved in that week. He talked about anything he could think of, his voice soft and tender, his touch was the same.

"I bet you're thinking that I'm late…it's 12:05am… I hope you're not sleeping." Derek whispered.

Sleep through our date? No way…

"I'm not going to be able to do this alone." Derek said softly as he moved around the bed. "I am bringing in someone to help, they should be here soon, and we'll start the tests." Derek said as he grasped her hand tightly in his own.

So secretive… It's kind of sexy.

"I hope you're not scared… we're going to find out what is going on… we're going to find it and take care of it." He whispered as he watched her eyes move slightly. "Oh… so you are awake, you little sneak…" Derek said with a soft smile as he waited, watching her eyes open. She just stared into his eyes as he watched her stare back at him, her eyes were filled with anxiety as she tried to convince herself otherwise. "You're going to do great." He whispered.

What? No flowers? I thought this was a date.

She blinked slowly as he read her eyes. It took him a moment and he laughed. "It is a date…" He laughed. Its you, me… under the soft glow of the MRI and CT scanner… the sounds of the… um… x-ray filling the night time air. I can't think of anything more romantic than that." He said with a grin.

Nerd.

"Oh… oh, that hurt… right here…" Derek said as he pounded his chest lightly. "And to think that I was going to get you out of this awful room for a little while…"

It isn't a date if we have a chaperone.

"A chaperone? What…Mark? He's harmless." Derek shrugged.

He is mean.

"Oh, he's not mean… he just doesn't think before he talks. You will like him… trust me… he's a good guy…" Derek nodded as he heard the door to the room open and close behind the curtain. He waited a moment before he said anything more, to ensure that it was Mark. He glanced to Meredith and noted that her eyes were now closed. He shook his head and glanced to the person walking through the curtain. "Good, you're here." Derek said with a half smirk.

"Yeah… I'm here, what do you need?"

"A hand." Derek said as he nodded toward Meredith.

"A hand? Why do you need a hand?" Mark asked as he watched Derek's cue as he nodded toward Meredith again. "No…" Mark said with a shake of his head. "Derek, she's not supposed to be tested."

"She fell off the bed." Derek said as he watched Mark.

Liar, Liar.

"She fell off the bed?"

"She did…" Derek said as he shrugged. "Just… rolled right off the bed… we're going to have to get her an MRI and a CT." Derek said in a serious tone.

"Derek, she can't have tests… she can't have anything done… we're not her doctors, first of all and second of all…"

"She fell off the bed, Mark. Help… me… please?"

Pants on fire…

"Derek…" He whispered.

"Mark… this is for Zoey." He said, watching Mark's eyes lift to his. "She has no one." Derek whispered. "Chances are, Lexie isn't going to be waking from that coma… and Meredith… she's alive, Mark. She's in there… and she communicates… and she wants out. If we don't do these tests, then you are condemning that little girl of the hugs and love that only her mother can provide." Derek said as he watched Mark shake his head.

Oh, the mommy defense… good one, go with it, Derek!

"It's her mommy, Mark." Derek whispered as Mark stared at him.

He took a slow, steady deep breath and turned his eyes to the door. "What if Cris finds out?"

"Cristina is a busy woman." Derek replied. "Besides… I have to clean out the MRI room tonight…Cris' orders…"

"Yeah…" Mark nodded as he looked toward the door for a moment and his eyes slowly lifted to Derek. "Wait… you mean…?

He's a quick one, Derek…

"Yes… now get that gurney in the hallway in here now." Derek said as he started to get Meredith ready for transport. When Mark was out of the room, he leaned down and kissed Meredith's forehead. "We're going to get you out of there." He whispered as he pulled her hair back carefully and kissed her temple, standing up straight as Mark walked back into the room with the gurney.

-

* * *

><p>They lifted her onto the gurney and made sure anything that was supposed to be connected to her remained connected. They settled her in, and with a quick look down the hallway, they were off on their way to the MRI and CT scans. They worked quickly, slipping down the quiet hallways undetected to the elevator as they got to the room where the machine was. Derek talked to her at every step of the way as if she were communicating back to him. Mark watched his friend as he cared for the young woman, his attention completely on her as he spoke, trying to make sure she wasn't afraid.<p>

"Derek, she can't hear you." Mark mumbled.

"Shush." Derek replied.

"She can't hear you, Derek… why do you keep talking to her."

"Mark… stop." Derek said softly as suddenly, Meredith opened her eyes.

"Shit! Her eyes just opened!" Mark exclaimed as Derek elbowed him. "Ow…" He mumbled as he rubbed his stomach.

"Stop yelling… What is it, Meredith?" Derek whispered.

Tell 'superfly' here to shut up, he is giving headache.

"She says shut up." Derek said as he looked up at Mark.

"She did not…" Mark said with a smirk as Meredith's eyes flashed to him. She blinked once and Derek laughed. "What?" Mark asked as Derek smiled.

"She said 'yes'… as in… yes, she told you to shut up."

"How do you know? How do you know what she's saying?" Mark asked as he watched Meredith watching him.

"She has beautiful eyes." Derek replied.

"She talks with her eyes?"

"She does… but it's more than that." he whispered as he glanced to Meredith. "I don't know what it is… exactly… but it's more than that… she's not just talking with her eyes… Its more complex than that." He said as he glanced to Mark and then to Meredith. "Are you ready to do this thing?" He asked, watching her blink once. Derek looked up at Mark. "Once means yes… two means no." Derek replied.

"What does three mean?" Mark asked as Derek glanced to Meredith.

"Why?" Derek asked.

"Because she just blinked three times, looking directly at you." Mark replied as he stepped back.

Derek's eyes flashed to her as he raised his eyebrows and smiled, shaking his head. "Is that true?" He asked, watching her close only one eye. He chuckled and shook his head. "I'll take that as a maybe." He said as he stepped backwards. "We're going to step out of the room, Meredith… We'll be able to see and hear you at all times." He said as he watched her blink once.

They stepped out of the room together and Mark followed Derek into the control room. "You never answered my question." Mark said as Derek ignored him and started the machine, a long silence followed as they put her through the machine.. "Derek?"

"What, Mark…?" Derek said slowly as he watched the screens as it slowly took the pictures that they needed.

"What does three blinks mean?" Mark asked.

"It means… holy…"

"Shit…" Mark whispered as they both stared at the screen, and the images that were coming up on it.

* * *

><p>Derek and Mark stared at the scan in front of them in an eerie silence. The last words passed between them were in the distant past as Derek reached his finger out to touch the monitor, running it along the object on the screen.<p>

"That thing is going to…" Mark started as Derek's pager sounded. Derek looked down at the pager as Derek swore. "What is it?"

"It's Zoey." He said as he looked up at the screen as Meredith continued to go through the machine.

"What's going on?"

"I have to call… it's Izzie… about Zoey…" He said as he sighed.

"Well go…"

"I can't go, she's in the fucking machine." Derek said as he looked to the screen. "I… I mean… Look at that thing…I mean… how is she… how…"

"Is she even alive? I have no idea." Mark whispered as he continued shaking his head as they watched the other images coming from the machine, as Derek stared at his pager and back up to the machine, and to his pager again. "Don't worry about it." Mark said. "I'll get her back to the room, you call Izzie and find out what's wrong with Zoey.

Suddenly, Derek's pager went off again and Derek looked down at the message. "Fuck."

"What now?"

"It's Cris… code white…"

"Code white?"

"Chief… the chief is in the building. Get her the hell out of that machine now!" Derek said as he and Mark ran toward the room frantically. "Let's go…" Derek said as the machine slowly shut down as Mark and Derek rushed to get her onto the gurney as carefully and quickly as possible. Derek could tell that Meredith was worried, her body stiffened as they pulled her to the gurney carefully. "It's alright… it's alright…" He whispered. "Your baby had a nightmare, I think…" He whispered as he watched her eyes dart to his. "She'll be alright… Chief is roaming the halls…" He said as he felt her body relax slowly. "Don't worry…"

"Don't worry?" Mark muttered. "This is our jobs on the line, and you're concerned that she's worrying?"

"She has no control over the situation, Mark…" Derek snapped as he made sure that everything was connected correctly. "Get her to her room…" Derek said as he lifted the blanket to cover Meredith. He looked out the door down the hallway and could see the chief walking briskly down toward his office. He waved to Mark to stay, and walked out into the hallway releasing a slow, deep breath. He looked down as he walked nonchalantly out of the room.

"Doctor Shepherd?" The chief said as Derek looked up at him.

"Doctor Bailey." Derek swallowed.

-

* * *

><p>Mark waited for a minute as he watched Meredith looking at him. He could see the concern in her eyes as he stood there, her eyes flashed to the door, and back to Mark.<p>

"We're waiting until Derek goes… he's going to stall the chief…" Mark said as he watched her blink. She began to blink furiously as she looked at him. "I don't know what you're saying, Meredith…" He replied.

"Meredith, relax… just relax…" He said as he watched her worry, her eyes still blinking, her breathing getting more erratic. Mark lifted his phone from his pocket and dialed Derek's house phone. "It'll be alright… it'll be alright…" He said as he touched her hand, grasping it as she blinked quickly.

"Derek!" The person on the other line exclaimed when they answered, the sound of screaming could be heard in the background.

"Jesus, Izzie… what are you doing to her?"

"You're not Derek!"

"No, It's Mark… what's going on, Iz…"

"She won't stop screaming! She had a nightmare! Derek warned me about her nightmares, and she finally woke up… but she won't stop crying! I need his help! It's killing me here!" Izzie exclaimed.

Mark looked to Meredith as she stared at him. "Nightmare… the baby had a nightmare… she'll be alright…" Mark said softly as he listened.

"Put the phone to her ear…" Mark said quickly.

"Mark! It's not going to…"

"Just do it, now!" He barked at her as he heard the screaming become louder immediately. "Zoey…" Mark said, his voice almost stern as he said her name, though there was a tinge of softness. "Zoey… Monkey… it's Mister Mark…" He said, his voice becoming softer as he imagined her screaming into her stuffed animals, maybe clinging to Izzie, maybe clinging to Derek's pillow, but her face red with frustration, tears rolling down her face. "Zoey Monkey… it's Mister Mark… talk to Mister Mark." He whispered, his heart breaking as he listened to her gasp between cries. "Baby girl…please…" He whispered, his voice whimpering as he listened to her crying. "Zoey Monkey…" He said softly as he heard her hiccup as she began to pay attention to his voice. "Zoey…" He whispered again. "Zoey girl…" He whispered, his eyes on Meredith as she watched him.

"Zoey…" Mark whispered as her screaming cries turned to a whimpering cry. "Zoey… talk to Mister Mark…"

"DD…" She moaned into the line.

"You miss DD?" He whispered.

"I want DD…" She whimpered.

"You want DD?" Mark whispered.

"Yes…Mister Mark… get me DD…" She whimpered.

"Oh, baby… DD is going to see you soon…" He whispered.

"Get me…" She sniffled. "Get me DD…please…" She whimpered.

"Baby girl… let me talk to Izzie…" He said softly.

-

* * *

><p>Derek was sitting in the chief's office as she went through a couple of things, looking for a file. "Was that all you needed, chief?" Derek asked as he tried his best to not look as if he were up to anything.<p>

"Yes… I just wanted to make sure that there weren't any issues between you and Yang. She's one of the best we have here, and I don't particularly trust the rumor mill around here."

"Nope… Doctor Yang and I are fine… you know though… we have to keep those discussions between she and I pretty heated… keeps our chemistry going… keeps things rolling, the passion and whatnot." Derek muttered as he watched the chief look at him with a sideways glance, her eyes showing the confusion.

"Whatever." She muttered. "Just don't piss her off any more… I don't need to be hearing rumors rolling around this hospital any more than I already do." She said as she watched Derek pause. "What do you want now?" She asked. "I have to get back home… I only came in for a file or two, I have tomorrow off." She grumbled.

"You have tomorrow off?" Derek asked. "Must be nice to be the chief…" He said as he took a step toward the door.

"Yes… it's nice…whatever." She muttered as Derek waved. "I'll see you next week, Doctor Shepherd."

"See you next week, Doctor Bailey." He said quickly as he turned and walked out of the door, moving quickly down the hallway, he walked into the MRI room to find it empty, the monitors all shut down and the lights off. He flipped the switch and found a note.

'Putting the vegetables back in the fridge… Izzie is bringing the tater tot. –M'

"Smart ass." Derek muttered as he crumpled the note and shoved it in his pocket as he jogged toward the stairs.

* * *

><p>Derek walked briskly down the hallway, down the stairs to the psych floor where he walked quickly down the empty hall towards Meredith's room. He kicked into Meredith's room as Mark looked up, hooking the tubes and making sure the monitors were working properly.<p>

WILL SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT IS GOING ON?

Meredith's eyes were wide, darting to the opening door as Derek stepped in, he immediately noticed her hand flexing slightly as he stepped inside, her eyes were wild with worry, and relaxed slightly as soon as Derek walked into the room. "Did anyone see you?" Derek asked.

"I don't think so." Mark replied. "Did you talk to Bailey?"

"I talked to her. She was just checking to make sure that things with Cristina and I were fine… she's been hearing the rumors that Cris wants her to hear." Derek replied.

"Zoey is coming… Izzie is bringing her. She had some nightmares." Mark said as Derek shook his head, a worried look across his face.

"Thank you. Thank you for calling her." Derek replied. He looked down at Meredith, whose eyes were directly on him as she blinked. He glanced to Mark and then back to Meredith as she passed along her message. "Izzie will bring her here." Derek whispered. "She'll be alright." He said softly.

"What is she saying?" Mark asked. "How do you know what she's saying? This is really freaky, and I…"

"Shut up for a second, Mark." Derek replied as Meredith blinked another message, Derek watched intently as his brow furrowed. "We haven't gotten the results from the scan, when we…" Derek watched as she blinked at him more fiercely.

You will not lie to me. You saw the scans.

"Meredith."

You will tell me what you saw. Am I dying?

"We don't know anything yet, Meredith." Derek replied as he looked to Mark. "She asked if she was dying."

"You're going to need surgery." Mark replied, Meredith's eyes flicking to his.

"Mark!" Derek exclaimed as he watched Meredith's eyes flash to him as she blinked. "She said thank you… to you." Derek mumbled.

"She should know the truth." Mark replied.

"She should… but in time."

"There isn't a lot of time." Mark exclaimed to Derek. "There isn't…Derek."

I'm dying?

"You're not dying." Derek replied, glaring at Mark. "But… there is a clot… and what probably started out as depression… is turning into something much more devastating."

I have a clot in my brain?

"Brainstem." Derek replied. "It's large enough… to where it has affected most all of your motor skills, obviously… including speech and most movement. Though… I'm worried that the fact that you have been able to communicate, is an indication of a change in the composition of the clot." Derek swallowed.

It could be bleeding?

"I don't know." Derek whispered as he glanced to Mark. "We don't know, unless we… Unless we go in." He whispered as the door opened. Meredith's eyes closed and the two men were standing above the bed as Cristina came barging inside.

* * *

><p>"Thank God she's in here." Cristina panted when she looked from Derek to Mark and back to Meredith, she swallowed hard when she noticed the solemn looks on the two men's faces. "What? What's going on?" She whispered.<p>

"Cristina, I need to have a word with you." Derek said in a low voice as he glanced to Meredith's closed eyes.

"Why? What? Did you… were you able to…"

"Outside the room, please." Derek replied.

"I don't under…" Cristina started as Derek grabbed her arm and pulled her out the door into the hallway. "Get your filthy mitts off me." She growled as she pulled his hands off her. "What's going on?"

"What's going on? What's going on? Cristina… she has a goddamned blood clot in her brain the size of Puget Sound… and you are asking me what's going on?"

"Blood clot." Cristina breathed.

"Yes, a blood clot… what did you think that I…"

"How long do you think she's had this blood clot?" Cristina asked, swallowing hard. "I mean… how did it look? Was there bleeding? Headaches…?"

"I haven't asked her yet, Cris." Derek whispered. "My thought, though… is that the fact that she's communicating is good in that she can tell us what's going on, but it's bad in that the composition of the clot is changing. She could be slowly bleeding out into her skull and we won't know unless we get a CT and another MRI, now that we know what we're looking for. Cristina… she may only have a day or two left…" Derek said, his voice high with worry as he swallowed again.

"Shit." Cristina muttered as she looked down the hallway. "I have to go find Bailey." She said as she turned.

"Wait… why are you looking for Bailey? I talked to Bailey, you paged me to tell me that Bailey was in the building. Why would you be looking for Bailey?" Derek started to sputter.

"Will you just cool your goddamned jets? Because Bailey is the head of the department, but she's also in charge of Neuro. If we have a blood clot, we need to get it out now."

"Get it out now? She hasn't been cleared for surgery! They don't even know that we did the tests!"

"Derek… I didn't page you to tell you the chief of surgery was in the building. I paged you to tell you the chief of staff is in the building. Doctor Webber… it's Doctor Webber that doesn't want any tests. We need to get her in for a real MRI now… right now, no fooling around or she's going to die. I'm not going to let her die."

"You were fine and dandy with her dying just an hour ago… and now you're all gung ho about letting her live?" Derek exclaimed.

"Don't make me slap you, Derek." Cristina growled. "She's my best friend, and I am not going to let her die…" She said quickly as she glanced down the hallway as Izzie rushed toward them holding Zoey in her arms. "What are they doing here?"

"She had a nightmare…" Derek said as he walked toward them. Zoey was holding Izzie tightly as Derek lifted her from her arms.

"Oh, DD…" She whimpered as he held her. "DD, DD…"

"It's alright, baby…" He whispered as he rubbed her back as Cristina watched for a second. "What are you still doing standing here? If you're going to find Bailey, find Bailey!" He whispered in a frustrated voice. "She said she had tomorrow off, you had better goddamned catch her before she leaves this building!" Derek whispered fiercely.

"Don't yell, DD…" Zoey whimpered as she rubbed his back as she popped her other thumb into her mouth. "No yelling… shh…" She whispered.

"DD is sorry, sweetheart…" Derek whispered as he glared back at Cristina as she watched on for a moment, seemingly in thought.

"Stay here with Meredith… don't move… I'll call you when we're ready for you and Mark to bring her down." Cristina said as she moved quickly down the hallway.

"Bring Meredith where?" Izzie asked as Cristina ran down the hallway quickly.

"To surgery." Derek whispered as he glanced to Izzie's surprised face. "We are saving her tonight." He swallowed as he turned and walked into the room, leaving Izzie out in the hallway for a moment.

* * *

><p>Derek rocked the little girl in his arms as she held him tightly, her arms securely around his neck as he rubbed her back and whispered to her.<p>

"Hey, little monkey…" Mark said softly as he walked up to Derek, she turned her head and waved with her fingers as her thumb remained in her mouth. "Poor little thing…" Mark whispered as he ran his hand through her blonde hair, her eyes closed tightly as she buried her face in Derek's neck. "What are we going to do?" Mark asked as Derek rocked her back and forth, looking down at Meredith who lay there with her eyes closed.

"We're going to go in." Derek shrugged. "There's nothing else we can do."

"What do you mean we're going in? We don't have tests, we don't have consent! How are we going to go in? It could kill her!" Mark whispered fiercely as Zoey's head popped up and her eyes went to Mark. She turned and faced Derek and then Mark again. She had a look of panic in her eyes as she slammed her face into Derek's neck and gripped him so tightly, her fingernails were pulling into his skin.

"Are you stupid?" Derek whispered angrily at Mark. "Mark Andrew Sloan… are you seriously, honestly and truly… THAT stupid?" Derek raised his voice as Zoey whimpered into his neck. "I'm sorry, sweetheart…" He whispered as Izzie walked into the room.

"Derek, these are her things…" Izzie said as she set the small backpack down on the chair in the room. "She insisted on packing this bag…" She shook her head. "She was throwing a fit because she couldn't get all of her toys inside… and finally she let me help." Izzie swallowed. "I wasn't able to get her school clothes for tomorrow."

"It's alright, Izzie. I don't think she'll be going to school tomorrow." He said softly. "She hasn't slept at all tonight, there really isn't any sense in it."

"I wanna go to school…" Zoey whispered.

"You're going to be too sleepy, little bear…" Derek whispered. "Let's see how you're feeling in the morning." Derek said softly, not wanting to upset her as he rocked her. "I need to get her into a room or something…she needs to be sleeping, not being dragged around the hospital." He said as he looked to Izzie. "I'm still on call…and… and I'm waiting for Cristina to call me…"

"I'll go find an on call room… I can take her there and lay her down… and if there are any problems, I'll page you." Izzie said softly as she nodded.

"Sounds like a good idea." Derek nodded. "Thank you, Izzie."

"It's no problem." Izzie said as she disappeared out the door as Derek rocked Zoey in his arms carefully and walked toward the bed.

He slung the little girl's legs over his arm as he cradled her even more, sitting on the edge of the bed as he looked down at Meredith. He watched the woman in the bed, her eyes closed delicately, her hair clean and surrounding her head on the pillow, the look on her face so peaceful. Derek's eyes traveled to the little girl in his arms, the same delicate eyes, the same tiny nose, her soft, sweet lips, and the same halo of beautiful blonde hair crowning her head, long and flowing and angelic even in the lights of the hospital room. Derek lifted her slightly and kissed her forehead as her nose wiggled in her sleep and she sucked her thumb a little harder for a moment before it slowed.

"You deserve the world." He whispered as he rocked her gently as she slept in his arms. Mark sat silently across the room as he kept his head down, the soft rhythm of the machines keeping him alert as he let his friend have a moment of silence with his family, saying a silent prayer of hope, as he tried to block out the fear that was slowly invading the room, threatening to choke them to death.

* * *

><p>Derek held the tiny angel in his hands as she clung to his shirt, her thumb still planted in her mouth as she breathed easy and softly. His eyes moved to her bag, a bit of pink fur stuck from the zipper as he smiled slightly knowing what it contained. He sighed softly and rocked her as he slid from the bed and sat in the chair beside the bed and placed his foot solidly on the floor as he tilted it back about two inches, enough to make it rock just a bit. His eyes moved to Mark, who was watching him carefully. "What?" He whispered.<p>

"Nothing." Mark shook his head as his eyes went to Meredith and then back to Derek.

"Mark?"

"I'm just…" Mark sighed as his eyes went to Zoey. "I'm trying to figure out what you got yourself into here." Mark whispered.

"What does that mean?" Derek asked him, furrowing his brow. It seemed he was half angry for Mark saying it, even though he knew he was right, but he also was on the verge of agreeing with him.

"I don't know, Derek… two weeks ago, you had…"

"Nothing, Mark. I had nothing." Derek replied.

"Now what do you have, Derek?" Mark whispered. He could see the frustration building in Derek's eyes, the anger and misunderstanding clouding his eyes right as they sit there and Mark shook his head. "Derek… I'm not trying to disrespect you or your decisions… but I want to make sure you understand the implications of all of this."

"Thank you, Mark." Derek whispered as he continued to rock the little girl.

"I mean… there are easier ways to adopt…"

"That's not funny." Derek replied.

"I'm sorry…" Mark sighed. "I just… you know me, when there is something this big… I make jokes."

"I know." Derek replied. "Which is why I haven't killed you yet." Derek said with a slight smile. "I just wish I knew what we were going to do… what is going to happen…"

"Wish we were clairvoyant?" Mark asked with a laugh.

"Just today." Derek replied. "God, I hope Bailey is in."

"Bailey? I thought we were hiding from Bailey…"

"No… Doctor Webber."

"Chief of staff, Doctor Webber?"

"Yes." Derek sighed as he glanced to Meredith. "I don't know what he has to do with this… but I'm really worried that if we do something… at least one of us involved isn't going to have a job." Derek whispered.

"But… you think the surgery would be successful?"

"If we can get the right doctor for the job." Derek said softly. "I…am scared, Mark."

"I know." Mark nodded.

"A surgery like this has all kinds of complications." He whispered. "Its very invasive… and even if we take care of the bleed, there is no guarantee that she'll wake up… or that she wont have paralysis. It's a ridiculously complicated surgery."

"You've researched it…"

"I wrote my dissertation on this type of surgery, Mark… I've read everything there is to know…" He whispered as he swallowed as the door opened and Izzie walked in.

"I found a room." She whispered as she glanced to Mark.

"I think… we'll stay here for a little bit, Izzie." Derek whispered. "Save the room though… We'll put her in there when we know something… right now I just… I just want to hold her." He said softly as Izzie nodded.

"I'll go rest." She said as she glanced to Meredith. "Do we know anything yet?"

"I'll page you when we do." Derek replied as he watched Izzie nod and watched her slip from the room.

* * *

><p>Derek held that little girl in his arms until they fell sore from her weight, her sleeping face far too angelic to disturb, her soft breathing was drifting over the skin of his neck, as he pulled her up into him a little more. Mark had left the room after an hour, leaving Derek to the peace of the hospital room. The doors opened after about two hours, Derek's eyes lit up as Cristina stepped into the room. She looked nervous, unraveled and scared. Derek watched her eyes as they drifted to her friend.<p>

"What's going on?" Derek asked as he sat up slightly, Zoey stirring minimally as he moved, her body settling in the cradle of his arms, his arms aching from stiffness. "Cristina, don't stand there and look at me like that if you have nothing to say."

"We saw the scans." Cristina whispered as she glanced to Meredith and back to Derek.

"Cris…"

"We saw the scans and Bailey determined that it was big enough… it was… its dangerous enough to warrant surgery." She said as she closed her eyes. "We… but we can't do it here." She said as she scratched her index finger with her thumb as she looked to the floor. "We can't do it at Seattle Grace."

"What do you mean we can't do it at Seattle Grace?" Derek shook his head. "Why is she allowed to lay here and…" Derek paused for a moment as he looked down at the sleeping girl in his arms. He stepped to the bed and very delicately placed her on the bed beside Meredith. He made sure that any tubes or wires would not be disturbed as he kissed her forehead, watching her cuddle into Meredith's body. He then turned back to Cristina, his eyes showing the frustration in them, that she knew would be wrought. He glanced to the bed and took Cristina's arm as she followed him to the other side of the room, where he turned her to face him. "Why is it that she is allowed to lay here and die, but when she needs help, you have to take her away?" Derek growled.

"It's not me, Derek." Cristina whispered. "It's a lot bigger than me…"

"Then why are you the one giving me the news, Cristina?" Derek shook his head. "This is a hospital for Christ's sake… you're supposed to be helping people, not letting them die!" He said with an angry growl.

"Derek… she's not going to die!" Cristina exclaimed. "But they have to take her to a different facility… for this surgery… for any surgery… the hospital is locked in a dispute over her medical care. We can't treat her… we're not… legally obligated to treat her. If we treat her, Derek… the estate of Ellis Grey has been ordered to issue a statement against the chief of staff. Meredith signed her power of attorney to her mother, and it was thusly transferred to Lexie. Lexie is her only living relative… and Lexie can't release it.

"Lexie is brain dead." Derek grunted.

"Lexie is still alive, Derek." Cristina replied. "We have no rights to treat her while Lexie is breathing."

"Unplug Lexie." Derek growled.

"You know we can't do that, Derek… we can't kill one to save the other… Bailey is having her transferred to an undisclosed location. They will perform the surgery and we have to hope for the best." Cristina whispered. "There's nothing more we can do."

"Why an undisclosed location? Why can't we be there? Why can't we see her after the surgery? How will we know that she has survived? What the fuck is with all of the secrecy, Cristina. That little girl's mother is hanging by a thread, and you're holding a very sharp, very unsteady ten blade against it. Do you want to be responsible for killing your best friend? Do you want to be responsible for killing that little girl's mother?" Derek growled. "You're not taking her out of this hospital!" Derek exclaimed.

"Derek… its for your career… for Mark's career… for my career."

"And my career is nothing if I have to deal with one more thing happening to that little girl!" Derek said as he rubbed his forehead with his fingertips.

"They're taking her in the morning, Derek." Cristina whispered, glancing to Meredith. "She'll be alright… they'll get the clot out… and…" Cristina rubbed her face with her hand as she tried not to cry. She watched Derek as he continued to fall apart in front of her.

"Just… fucking leave me alone." Derek muttered, turning away from Cristina. "Just leave… leave us alone." He said as he sat down in the chair and put his head in his hands as he stared at the floor.

"Derek…"

"Cristina…" Derek whispered as he looked up at her and shook his head, tears in his eyes as he tried to work everything out in his head.

"I'll… see you in the morning, I'll call someone to cover your shift for the rest of the night, and tomorrow." She whispered, as she turned and walked from the room, trying her best not to break, knowing already, that Derek was doing enough breaking for the both of them.

* * *

><p>Derek sat in the chair beside the bed for several moments. He watched the little girl in the bed as she pressed her face into Meredith's shoulder, cuddling closer as she seemed to slip into a contented sleep. He glanced to the door, his stomach knotting at the thought of what Cristina had said, his head spinning with her words. He stood up abruptly, dialing a phone number on his cell phone, he waited. "I need you to come in here and watch her, please." Derek whispered as he swallowed hard.<p>

"What happened?" Mark asked, his voice soft and sleepy.

"I just need you to… come in here and watch her for a little while… I don't want to bring her to an on call room, I want her to stay with Meredith for as long as possible… I have to do something." Derek said determinedly.

"What do you have to do, Derek?" Mark asked.

"I have to… research something." He said as he heard Mark moving around. "Are you coming?" He asked. "I can have Izzie watch…"

"I'm coming, hold your horses…" Mark muttered. "What happened?"

"Nothing happened… please." Derek whispered as he heard the door opening, and glanced to see Mark flip his phone closed.

"What happened?"

"Nothing happened." Derek said as he ran his fingertips through his hair and swallowed hard.

"You look like you've been crying… what's going on with you, Derek? Are you alright?"

"I'm fine… can you watch her?" Derek asked.

"I can watch her." Mark replied.

"Call me if anything happens… call me if she wakes up… call me if…"

"Shut up and go, man…" Mark said as he plopped down in the chair. "I can handle it."

"Thanks, Mark." Derek whispered, and with that, he slipped out the door and made his way quickly toward Lexie's room in the ICU.

* * *

><p>Derek walked quickly down the hallway. He had purpose in his step, though his heart was heavy and he was beginning to feel very alone. The hallways all seemed to be a little longer, and his head was now throbbing as he tried so hard not to break apart. He couldn't understand why it was bothering him so much. He had known Meredith for nearly two weeks and he hadn't even heard her voice, listened to the way she thinks, how she feels, what she believes, but he knew her daughter.<p>

His pace slowed slightly as he walked down the hallway toward the room, swallowing hard he thought for a split second that he may be overreacting and acting with his heart instead of his brain. It wouldn't have been the first time in his life that he had done that, and if it was the case, he knew that it wouldn't be the last. His pace quickened and he entered the room swiftly.

He remembered the last time he had entered that room, having been only hours after cleaning the blood, tears, and anguish of the brutal mistake that Lexie had made from both his body, and the body of the innocent child that he now called his own. He stared at the woman in the bed, the tubes and wires and whatnot extending from her body to various machines. These machines were keeping her alive, keeping her heart pumping, her lungs inflated, though the one machine measuring her brain activity was eerily more silent than the others. Seeing the output on that machine only managed to churn the bile in Derek's stomach, cause his teeth to grit tightly, and his fists to ball up into angry, hate filled fists.

His eyes darted to the respirator, and back to the woman in the bed. "I am all she has." He growled, his pupils dilating slightly as they deepened with his mood. "I am all she has in the world, Lexie." He whispered. "I am all she has in the world… that can hold her through the nightmares. The nightmares that you helped to create." He growled. Derek closed his eyes. He was unable to look at the woman in the bed for a moment, unable to contain his rage. He took a very slow, very deep breath as he swallowed. "You have absolutely no idea how badly I want to pull that cord out of the socket, Lexie." Derek whispered. "You have absolutely no idea how badly I want to be able to suck the life from your undeserving lungs." Derek whispered. "How badly I want you to die right this second…" He swallowed.

Derek opened his eyes and looked down at her as he moved closer to the bed. "But do you know what that would do, Lexie? Do you know what that would do?" He whispered. "If I killed you right now." He breathed as he leaned down and stared at her face. "If I killed you right now, that baby girl would have nothing." Derek whispered. "You would slip off to hell, and I would be shipped off to jail… and where would we be then, Lexie? We'd be right where we started from." He whispered. "You are so fucking lucky that I took an oath to save lives, Lexie. You are so… so fucking lucky that I love that little girl… and it kills me to know that you laying here… with probably just as much brain activity as you did when you were alive… you hold the key to that little girl's mother. It kills me." Derek whispered. "I hope you can hear me, Lexie… and I hope you know that I loathe you… and I want you to know… that I'm not the only person who never wants to see you again." He whispered.

"I hate you." He whispered. "I have never hated anyone in my life… but I hate you." He said as the hot tears rolled down his cheeks. "Congratulations, Lexie." He growled. He stood up straight and wiped his tear from his cheek. He swallowed and looked up at the monitors and glanced to the respirator. He looked back at Lexie, and turned on his heel, moving his body in a quick and steady pace out the door and down the hallway, his feet pounding into the ground as he made his way through the hallway. His mind was set, and he was determined. No one was going to be going anywhere, not if he had anything to say about it.

* * *

><p>Before returning to the psych floor, Derek decided to do a little detective work on Meredith's case. He decided to look into her past treatments to learn as much as he could about her as possible. He found his way to the records room in the basement, and after some thorough searching, he found a large cardboard box that said "Grey" across its label, and Derek pulled it from the shelf, going through every bit of paper he could find in the box. He found one of the documents he was looking for, gripping it in his hand, he flipped the top back on the box and tossed it on one of the shelves before heading out of the room quickly.<p>

Derek walked purposefully down the hallway toward the stairs, disappearing into the stairwell, he decided to waste no time in getting back to the room. He had tried his very best to calm down, calming his breathing and thinking positive thoughts as he weaved through the hallway back toward Meredith's room. He was trying his best to keep a brave face, his heart pounding in his chest as he opened the door to the room and stepped inside.

Mark looked up and his face looked alarmed. Derek glanced to the bed to see Zoey and Meredith still snuggled together, Derek's eyes glancing back to Mark. "What?"

"Derek, are you going to tell me what's going on?"

"What do you mean… what do you…?"

"What were you researching? Is there anything I can do to help?" Mark asked as he watched Derek stand against the door with a determined look in his eyes. Derek's jaw clenched slightly as he stared over at the bed with Zoey and Meredith sleeping peacefully.

"I just… I…"

"Derek, you're a freaking mess…what the hell is going on with you?" Mark whispered.

"Meredith." Derek whispered.

"Meredith?" Mark asked.

"Meredith, Mark… how am I going to… how is… Cristina said that they're going to take her."

"Take her?"

"Cristina said they're going to take her away… to another hospital for surgery."

"Why the fuck can't they do it here?" Mark asked, sitting up straighter, watching Derek stare at the two lying in the bed.

"I think they're waiting… I think they're going to try to wait for Lexie." Derek whispered. "I don't trust them, Mark." Derek said as he looked at him. "Lexie has power of attorney… Medical power of attorney over Meredith… she has brain activity so they're saying that she is still alive, not brain dead… if she dies… no one is over Meredith. The chain ends."

"Zoey?" Mark asked.

"No. She isn't old enough." Derek replied as he held a paper up. "If there is no one to proxy for her, no one related that can proxy for her care… then she has a do not resuscitate order. If she goes into cardiac arrest, she is dead, Mark." Derek whispered.

"She has no one?"

"No one else… there is no one else, Mark."

"Cristina?"

"They have to be related… it's in her living will." Derek replied.

"Who the hell would sign something like that?" Mark asked as he stood up and walked toward Derek. He pulled the paper from Derek's hands and started to scan through it. "This looks like it was written up with quite the detail."

"Her mother's lawyer, I think." Derek replied.

"Fucking figures." Mark said as he slammed the paper back into Derek's hand. "That woman was the goddamned devil." He grunted at Derek, who nodded in agreement. His eyes went back to the bed and back to Mark.

"What am I going to do?" He whispered to Mark, who looked almost as lost as Derek.

"Are you really falling for her?" Mark whispered as he watched Derek nod solemnly, his eyes still on Meredith. "I already know that you love her daughter." Mark said as Derek's eyes moved to his friend's. "If you love them." Mark said as he glanced to the bed. "Don't you dare let them out of your sight." He said as he took a step beside Derek toward the door. "I'll be back in the morning… call me if you need me." Mark said as Derek nodded, raising his hand to run his fingers through his hair as he watched Mark walk from the room.

He stared at the door for a moment and his eyes then turned to the woman in the bed, who was looking directly into his eyes. "Meredith." He whispered. Her eyes were saying a million things to him without even blinking. There were so many questions, so many fears. He watched her. She blinked once, twice, three times, and he swallowed hard. "Meredith." He whispered as he stepped toward her bed. He placed his hand in hers, never tearing his eyes from hers as he blinked back. One, two, three times, releasing a slow, deep breath from his lips as he felt her fingers move slightly in his hand. "I'm not going to let anything happen to you, Meredith." He whispered. "I promise… I'm never letting you out of my sight." He said as he felt her hand squeeze his slightly as a tear came to her eye and she blinked three times once again.

In a swift and delicate move, Derek rolled his leg up onto the bed and leaned back on his side into the bed, pushing the little girl closer to the middle as he wrapped his arm around Meredith and held her and Zoey in his arms. He kissed her head and sighed as he held them securely in his arms as he failed to sleep, only held them to his heart and tried his very hardest to find a way to keep Meredith in his life, and alive without losing his job or his mind. "You're not going anywhere." He whispered as he felt her breath softly sigh against him as he held her and their little girl.

* * *

><p>Derek lay on that bed through the night until Izzie came to check on Meredith. His eyes were on Izzie as she entered the room and she noted the slight bit of fear in his eyes. "I just came in to check her vitals… and her monitors." Izzie whispered as Derek nodded. "Is she alright?"<p>

"She's sleeping." Derek whispered, leaning over to kiss the top of Meredith's head as Izzie's brow furrowed. He watched her reaction and he kept his nose buried in Meredith's hair as he watched her. "They think they're going to take her." He said softly.

"They think…"

"They're not taking her anywhere." Derek replied as he swallowed hard. "How long have you known her, Izzie?"

"Meredith?"

"Yes."

"Since medical school." Izzie said softly. "I… started in the same program as Cristina and Meredith. I had some… family issues and ended up going into nursing. I have been at Seattle Grace since, and was hired as Meredith's personal nurse. It's challenging, sometimes… but I feel like I'm helping her, you know? I can tell when she has good days, bad days… I think that it has made us better friends. I know I make jokes about her being a good listener… but the truth is, she was always a good listener and a good friend." Izzie admitted. "She's a remarkable person."

"And you don't want anything to happen to her?" Derek asked, reassuring himself that Izzie was on his side.

"Cristina said they want to take her." Izzie whispered.

"I'm not letting them take her." Derek whispered.

"Derek, how are you going to…" Her eyes widened in surprise as Meredith's eyes opened. "She's awake." Izzie said as she stepped quickly toward the bed. "Meredith…" She whispered as she reached for her friend's hand.

Tell her that I will be fine, Derek.

"She is going to be alright, Izzie." Derek whispered.

I can always rely on your optimism.

"This surgery… that she needs, the clot… how large is it?"

"It's very large." Derek whispered, and we're not sure if there is any other issues associated with it… but moving her would be risky. Different pressures and sharp movements. They need to get this thing out now." He whispered as Izzie watched her friend with a sad frown.

"When are you going to tell Zoey the truth?" Izzie whispered.

"I don't know." Derek replied as he sat up slightly, moving so that he could see Meredith's eyes. He could see the apprehension within them, the fear. "She needs to know, Meredith."

Whether she knows or not, she still loves me.

"Mama…" Zoey whispered in her sleep, her eyes fluttered open as she lifted her head. Her eyes immediately caught Derek's. "DD?"

"Hey, baby…" He said with a gentle smile as she smiled a sleepy smile back at him. Her eyes moved up to Meredith, who caught her with her own. "Sleeping Beauty." She smiled as she tried to sit up.

Derek reached out to make sure she didn't pull any of the wires or tubes on accident, and rolled himself up and off the bed, holding Zoey in his arms. Meredith blinked at him quickly as he tried to catch her message.

Don't go far.

"We aren't going anywhere." Derek said softly as he lifted Zoey to the ground. He looked to Izzie and swallowed as she watched Meredith communicate with Derek.

"Morse code." Izzie said softly. "You have been talking with her?"

"I have." Derek nodded. "When I was a kid, we used to have these walkie talkies that had morse code communication… that's how I know it… how did she learn?" Derek asked as Zoey moved to the floor and sat beside her backpack as she unzipped it slowly.

"Her therapist taught it to her." Izzie explained. "When she started to slip into her depression, it was the only way to communicate with her. They had done dozens of tests on her to see what could possibly be wrong and they found nothing… when it was deemed psychological, her mother just decided to keep her as comfortable as possible, hoping she'd snap out of it." Izzie whispered.

"And she took her daughter…" Derek whispered. "How did she think that would help?"

"Oh my goodness! Oh my goodness! Oh my goodness!" Zoey exclaimed suddenly as she jumped up from the floor, her arms shaking as she stared at something in her hands, her eyes shooting up to Derek.

"What is it, sweetheart?"

"Sleeping beauty is my MOMMY!" She exclaimed as she shoved the picture from her hands at Derek, her eyes wide in surprise as her bottom lip stuck out and her eyes began to water.

* * *

><p>The little girl stood there, her breathing erratic as she looked at the woman on the bed. "Um… um… um… um… DD? DD?" She whimpered.<p>

"Hey… come here…" Derek whispered as he held his hands out to her as she climbed up into Derek's arms.

"DD… Sleeping… sleeping beauty… my… um… um…" She whimpered as tears fell down her cheeks. "I… I…" She panted as she watched Meredith's eyes.

Derek… Derek, calm her down.

"It's alright… come here… relax… deep breaths… deep breaths…" Derek whispered as the little girl practically hyperventilated as she pulled at Derek, unable to get a word out edgewise as Derek held the picture in his hands and rocked her as she stared at Meredith.

"Sleeping… Sleeping beauty… but who… who was…. I … I don't understand…" She whimpered. "DD… DD, who is she?" Zoey finally spit out as she grabbed Derek's shirt and stared into his eyes.

"Zoey…" Derek whispered as he looked up at Izzie desperately. "Zoey…" He whispered.

"Sweetheart?" Izzie said softly, suddenly as she glanced to Meredith's eyes. They were pleading with her, pleading with Derek. Izzie reached her hand out to touch Zoey's hair. "Zoey… look at Aunt Izzie for a second…" She whispered as Zoey's eyes flashed to Izzie as she continued to hold Derek's shirt. "Why do you think that sleeping beauty is your mommy?" Izzie whispered as she watched Zoey lay her head on Derek's chest, her eyes flashing to Meredith before flashing back to Izzie. "Why do you think that Meredith is your mommy? Why would you say that?" She asked. Her voice wasn't accusatory or negative, but positive and friendly, warm. "Zoey?" Izzie whispered.

Thank you, Izzie.

"I… the picture." She whispered. "The picture that DD has…I… my… the um…how can she be my mommy, DD?"

"Did someone tell you that this picture was your mommy?" Derek whispered, finally finding his voice as her desperate eyes looked into his. "Did someone say that?"

"Yes." Zoey whispered.

"And you think that the woman in the picture is Meredith here?"

Derek... she... she can't know.

"It is! It is, it has to be!" Zoey exclaimed as she knelt on Derek's leg sending a sharp pain through his leg making him wince as she gripped him tightly. "DD… it is…" She said as she turned quickly in his lap and grabbed the picture from his hand. "See, see… that's not um… my… I… oh…" She shook her hands as she tried to find the words, frustrated that she couldn't express what she wanted to say.

"You want to know who it was you were calling mommy?" Derek asked as she looked up at him.

"Yes! If she says this is my mommy in the picture… then this isn't who she is… see… this looks just like sleeping beauty… just like her! See? See, DD? See?" She said as she waved it at Derek. "It looks like her, doesn't it? Doesn't it? Doesn't it, DD?" Zoey interrogated, her excitement getting the better of her as she pointed quickly at the picture.

Derek glanced up at Meredith, whose eyes were watching them carefully. "What do you think about sleeping beauty being your mommy?" Derek asked, trying to hide the slight smirk on his face as he sensed her excitement shooting from her body like the sparks of a firework. "What would you say if you found out that it was true… that she is your mommy?"

Oh, Derek.

"I would love that!" She exclaimed as a bright grin lit up her face. "But…" She swallowed hard. "Why… why did I not know that before?" She whispered as she glanced to Derek. "Why didn't anyone tell me? DD… did you know?" She whispered.

"Not until you showed me the picture." He said with a shrug. "Looks pretty convincing to me…"

"Yes." She nodded. "Yes, pretty um… conv… yeah…" She nodded. "So… my old mommy… she was my… step… mommy?"

Derek paused, thinking of the confusing situation that the little girl had already found herself in, knowing that there would be no sense in confusing her further, he shrugged. "We'll have to figure that out… won't we?" Derek asked as he watched her nod. "You know…" Derek said as he watched Meredith continue to watch. "We've been talking to Meredith all of this time… and she's laying right here." He whispered. "Maybe we should go right to the source." He said as Zoey glanced to Meredith and then back to Derek. "Go on… ask her…" He whispered.

"One is yes… two is no… three is… I love you?" Zoey asked Derek.

"That's right." He confirmed.

"Sleeping Beauty?" Zoey swallowed hard as she held up the picture in her hands as she balanced on Derek's legs. "Is this you in the picture with baby Zoey?" She asked as she pointed at the picture and showed it to Meredith.

Yes... yes, baby... that's me...

Meredith could feel her sadness welling up, the little girl's hopeful eyes resonating into her soul as she looked so helpless. She blinked once as she felt a tear roll down her cheek. "Yes?" Zoey asked. "DD, she said yes!" Zoey exclaimed.

"Now ask her the important question…" Derek said with a half smile, though he could feel the sadness in Meredith's heart.

Oh... oh, Derek... don't do this to me...

"Sleeping Beauty… are you my real mommy?" She whispered, watching Meredith watch her. She could sense that Meredith was having some sort of internal battle. She could sense that there were some things that she would never understand. Things she wouldn't understand until Meredith was able to explain them, but for now, all she wanted was the truth. "Are you my real mommy?"

Baby...

One blink.

Zoey gasped. "Oh!" She exclaimed as she turned to Derek. "She said yes!"

"She did…" Derek whispered as he squeezed Meredith's hand in support.

"Oh my goodness! Oh my goodness!" She exclaimed as she nearly leapt to the bed.

"Watch it… watch it… careful…" Derek said as he wrestled with Zoey for a second to make sure she didn't pull anything.

Let her hug me... for the love of God let her hug me...

"I need to hug her, DD!" She exclaimed as Derek let her go as she crawled onto the bed and wrapped her arms so gently around Meredith, hugging her close, she kissed Meredith's cheek. "She got sick, DD… she got sick and she couldn't take care of me, right? That's why I wasn't here in Seattle… because my real mommy was sick…"

"That's right…" Derek nodded.

"We need to fix her." Zoey whispered as she started to whimper. "DD… DD, please fix her…" She said as Derek watched on, unsure if telling her the truth was a good idea… for Zoey, or for Meredith, but when the door opened and Cristina, Bailey and Doctor Webber walked in, he was sure that he had his answer.

* * *

><p>Derek sat up. His attention fell upon the three people entering the room as Izzie stood up as well. "I should… I should check on my other patients." Izzie whispered as she excused herself quickly.<p>

Chicken.

Derek touched Zoey's arm as she looked up at the strangers in the room, along with Cristina and she only clung to Meredith tighter. "Doctor Shepherd?" Cristina said softly. Her voice was solemn and sad, her demeanor was broken. "Derek…"

Just tell him. Tell him what's going on, don't hold him hostage here!

Doctor Webber was watching Meredith, her eyes were wide open and they moved with the motion of the people in the room, as if they were taking in each and every solitary inch of them. "Doctor Shepherd." Richard said as he pulled his eyes from Meredith, refusing to look into them. "I regret to inform you that Lexie Grey passed away during the night."

Oh God.

"Lexie…" Derek's breath sucked in, his eyes widened as Meredith's eyes darted to Derek. His face had turned a sickly pale, his mouth hung open slightly as he tried to form a thought, a word, a feeling or even a gesture that could express what he was thinking.

Someone say something. Someone! Derek! Derek, say something!

The room was eerily silent, the sounds of the machines were the only echoes within the walls of the hospital room as everyone struggled with what to say. Everyone but one tiny soul with the heart of a lion, and the resilience of an army of shielded men. "Aunt Crissy… please fix my mommy." Zoey's voice broke through the silence like an arrow hurtling through the air, piercing the bulls eye that was Cristina's heart as she felt a sharp pain as it slammed full force into her willpower.

"Derek, you told her." Cristina whispered as her eyes darted to Derek. She took a step forward and Derek did as well, blocking the little girl from Cristina, blocking Meredith from everyone.

"If Lexie is gone." Derek whispered. "Then I want to talk to my lawyer." He whispered.

"Your lawyer?" Richard said, hearing his voice boom and echo off the walls as he watched Derek stand strong against Cristina, his eyes flashed to Doctor Bailey, who shrugged. "Doctor Shepherd, this isn't any of your concern. This is merely protocol since you have…"

"It is my concern." Derek interrupted. Richard straightened himself as he crossed his arms over his chest. "It's my concern because Meredith is my family… and I'll be damned if you're going to let her die."

"Doctor Shepherd, Meredith's life is just as much of a concern to me as it is to you. She is the daughter of a very close friend of mine, and it has been very hard on everyone who knew Ellis Grey, knowing that…"

"Ellis Grey was the devil, and she deserved to die for what she did to her family." Derek grunted.

Just when I think that I can't like him more…

"Derek!" Cristina exclaimed.

"Doctor Shepherd." Richard said stubbornly.

"It's Derek." He replied. "I'm Derek when I'm in this room. This is not my job, this is my family." He said with a stubborn scowl, his jaw clenching in anger. "I want to speak to my lawyer about this situation…"

"Derek." Cristina said as he stood strong against the bed, his body blocking view of Meredith and Zoey. "You have to let Doctor Webber take a look at Meredith." She whispered.

"No one is touching Meredith until this surgery is agreed upon." Derek said as he glared at Cristina. "I'm sick of the mind games. I'm sick of the bureaucratic bullshit. I'm sick of the dancing around the truth and the pretending that everything is just going to miraculously become better." Derek argued. "No one touches Meredith until I talk to my lawyer and I get this straightened out." He said as he held them all hostage as they stood around the bed. Derek pulled out his cell phone as he reached his hand back and felt a tiny hand grasp his as Zoey pulled herself up as she watched each and every person in the room. Her gray eyes were inquisitive and concerned as she held Derek's hand in support, while holding Meredith's hand with her other.

"Fine then." Richard said, taking a step back. "Make your phone call." He said as he gave Derek a scowl.

Derek dialed a number and glanced to Meredith. One. Two. Three blinks. He could feel his racing heartbeat calm at her reassurance as he blinked three times back, his eyes beginning to water as Zoey tugged at him slightly, having seen the message they had passed between them, she blinked three times at them as she turned her head and watched Cristina stand in the room with the two strangers.

Derek waited as he listened on the other line, his eyes resting on the little girl staring up at him, pleading with him, praying with him, hoping with him, loving him. "Jeni." Derek sighed as he heard his sister's voice over the line.

"Baby brother…" Jeni said with a smirk in her voice as she sensed the tension over the line immediately, her smirk disappeared. "What's wrong?" She asked, hearing the pause and anxiety in his demeanor, she waited patiently for his response.

"Legal question." Derek said as he looked around the room at Richard, Bailey, and Cristina.

"Legal question?" She asked as she swallowed. "Did you get yourself into some trouble?"

"Just… I'm going to put you on speaker phone, Jeni… I need you to state your name… your firm… and then I'm going to ask you a question or two… can you help me?"

"I can." She said as she paused, shuffling some items on her desk as she stood up to close the door to her office.

Derek pushed the button on his cell phone and glanced directly at Richard. "Alright, Jeni, go."

"Jennifer Halpert with Eggert, Halpert, Raymond and Meyers." She stated. "Manhattan, New York… you had a question, Derek?" She asked as she slipped into professional mode for a moment, her voice taking on a slightly deeper tone as she expressed the seriousness of the situation.

"Jen… Keep it as simple as possible with as little lawyer speak as possible." Derek sighed. "Twenty eight year old woman… Persistent vegetative state… her living will gives responsibility of her to her parents and in their failure, her sister… what happens if they are all deceased…?" Derek whispered.

"There must be a stipulation in the will for that case, Derek. What is this about?"

"No questions… just answers, Jen." Derek replied.

"It states that she is under doctor care or the care of a rest home until her faculties give up, Doctor Shepherd. She has a DNR." Richard said with a loud growl.

"Derek?" Jeni said over the line.

"What if she has other family… family that needs her to survive?" he said as he glared at Richard. "What if she has a daughter, Jeni… that just found out she exists."

"Derek… what kind of mess have you gotten yourself into?" Jeni asked as she sighed. "How old is the daughter?"

"She's six."

"She's too young, Derek. The agent must be at least 18 years old."

"What if she can appoint someone else as agent?" Derek asked, watching Cristina's eyebrows raising.

"You said she was PVS." She stated.

"She's not in a complete PVS… her circumstances have changed, and she can communicate with her eyes."

"Derek, this is getting confusing."

"Jen… if she can be proven as competent… can she appoint a new agent."

"Derek, she communicates with her eyes?"

"She communicates with her eyes." Derek stated gruffly. "Morse code."

"Derek."

"Jeni." Derek said abruptly, his voice holding all of the pain and frustration that he had been trying so hard to hold back.

"You need to get a translator." Jeni said after a short pause. "You need to get a translator that is not bias to the case or the agent. You need to have her proven as competent, and in the instance that she cannot sign for herself, she can have someone be her proxy. The proxy cannot be related or stand to benefit in anyway. The proxy cannot be related to the agent. The proxy cannot be the agent's boss.

"I have someone." Derek said, clearing his throat.

"Are you going to explain to me what's going on, Derek?" Jen asked as she failed to hide her concern for her brother.

"Is there anything else I need to know?" Derek asked.

"I'll fax you the rules and instructions." She said without asking any other questions.

"Thank you, Jen." Derek said softly as he turned the phone off speaker. "I'll see you for Thanksgiving?" He asked, trying for that split second to shave a bit off the tension in the room.

"We should be there." Jen replied as she sighed softly. "Am I going to be getting an explanation in return for my law services?" She asked with quick snap that sent Derek's eyes to the little girl.

"We'll talk about it… please send that information as soon as possible." Derek said quickly. "Love you." He said as he flipped the phone closed and glanced to Richard. "I want her therapist, and I need Mark Sloan. He will be the proxy."

"Doctor Shepherd…" Richard said as he took a step forward, blocked by Derek once again.

"No, Doctor Webber… I need that therapist now… perhaps you need to make some room in one of your operating rooms for this surgery." Derek replied.

"There is no way she can be proven competent, Doctor Shepherd." Richard replied.

"Well then we'll just have to see, won't we?" Derek replied. "And if that therapist doesn't work out, we'll find another that will." He nodded. "I think you've messed around with her live enough, Doctor Webber. I think she's gotten the short end of the stick for far too long. She can't stick up for herself just yet… but when she snaps out of this… I can guarantee that you're going to get an earful… and you'll be lucky if she doesn't sue the hospital right out from under your feet." He growled as he shook his head.

"Doctor Shepherd." Richard said as he took a step back. "I'm going to allow you to follow through with these procedures… but don't be surprised if you don't have a job to come back to when your shift starts tomorrow." He said as he turned sharply and walked from the room, leaving Cristina and Bailey standing to stare at Derek for a moment as he tried to regain his composure.

"Why are we just standing here?" Derek asked. "We have a mother to save! Dr. Bailey, we need OR 3 ready to go… can you do this surgery?" He said as Bailey nodded. "Alright…" He said as he swallowed and watched Bailey leave, followed by Cristina, who paused a moment in the door as Derek lifted his phone to have Mark paged.

"Derek…" Cristina whispered.

"I don't want to talk about it right now… we've wasted enough time." He said as she glanced to Meredith and the little girl clinging to her.

"She can't die now." Cristina whispered as she turned to get the faxes that Jen was sending to them.

"That's not even an option, Cristina!" Derek called after her, as the door clicked shut and he dialed Mark's number.


	11. Silent Goodbye

**_November 20th. (A month and three weeks since the last update)  
><em>**

"DD!" Zoey's voice echoed through the room as she twirled in circles. "DD, DD, DD!" She exclaimed.

Derek walked around the corner quickly to find the little girl dressed in a pair of blue jean overalls and a pink shirt with little red flowers. She had a ribbon in her hand and she was twirling in circles as she watched the ribbon fly from her fingertips. "What on earth are you doing?" He asked as he stepped into the room and grabbed her, lifting her into the air as she squealed in delight, her giggle vibrating gently as she laughed a hearty laugh.

"I'm waiting for you!" She laughed as he twirled her around, watching the ribbon dance in the air as he twirled her.

"You're going to make yourself sick!" He laughed as he flopped her body down on the bed and watched her bounce a little, her giggle was happy sounding as he flopped down beside her. She was wearing a pair of pink socks with little white hearts, the front hanging slightly off as he reached down and pulled at the top of the sock. "Who in the world dressed you this morning?" He laughed. "You're mixing flowers with hearts… you're all confused!" He exclaimed.

"I dressed me!" She said with a smile as she rolled over and landed on Derek's chest. She held up the ribbon and watched him scrunch his nose as she tickled it. "Hehe…" She giggled as she watched him rub his nose. "Don't I look cute?"

"Adorable." He said with a laugh.

"I'd look cuter with the ribbons in my hair." She said as she tickled his nose again.

He reached his hand up and grabbed the ribbons from her hand as she opened her mouth wide and released a loud, hearty laugh as he tickled her until she rolled off him onto the bed. "Don't tickle me!" She squeaked as she reached her hands over and tickled Derek's ribs as he pretended to try to get away from her.

"No!" He exclaimed with a laugh as he rolled right off the bed onto the floor, the sound of the doorbell stopping their horseplay for a moment as his eyes widened. "Oh my goodness… who could that be?"

"The mailman?"

"The mailman?" Derek laughed. "Why would the mailman ring the doorbell…?" Derek asked as he sat up a little and pulled himself up.

"I dunno… it was just a guess…" She shrugged.

"You stay here… I'll be right back…and we'll do the braiding and the ribbon in the hair thing…"

"But what if whoever it is wants you to leave? Are you going to leave me here all alone?"

"Have I ever left you here all alone?"

"No."

"Then I don't think I'm going to start now…" Derek said as he stuck his tongue out at her as she giggled and stuck her tongue out at him. He raised his eyebrows as her tongue slipped back into her mouth and she giggled.

"Sorry." She giggled.

Derek disappeared out the door as he walked down the steps quickly. He didn't bother to look into the peephole, but when he opened the door he was certainly surprised to see who was standing on the other side. "Sarah!" Derek said as he pushed his way out onto the porch, closing the door behind him as he smiled at his niece. "Morgan, baby…" He said as the baby held her arms out to Derek as he lifted her into his arms.

"Uncle Derek!" The little girl from behind her mother squealed as she jumped up and down.

"Sammy!" Derek exclaimed as he lifted her into his arms and kissed her cheek as she kissed his back. "It's so great to see you…" He said with a smile as he stood in front of the door.

"What are you doing here?" He asked as he lifted the baby into her mother's arms and lifted Sammy to the ground.

"What, we're not allowed into your house?" Sarah asked as she looked around. "This house is absolutely gorgeous…" She said as she looked at the wood on the door around her brother as he tried to block her access.

"No." He shook his head. "I mean… I mean, yeah… yeah you can come in… but what are you doing here? Where's the rest of the family and um… I didn't think you were coming until Wednesday… it's only Monday… Thanksgiving is on Thursday and you're… you're here… you're here now with two… with your two…"

"Derek… are you alright? It's cold out here… why don't we go in and talk, you can give us a tour of your house… aren't we allowed to visit you a little early? Nancy and I figured that you didn't have…"

"Nancy isn't coming early, is she?" Derek asked as he put his hand on his sister's shoulder as she tilted her head in confusion.

"No, only me… we wrote out a list of groceries and stuff… and I figured I would get here a little early… shop for plates and silverware, which I'm sure you don't have enough of for all of us… maybe a new dining room table or some tray tables or something. Are you alright? Are you trying to hide something, Derek?"

"No." He said quickly. "I have a table." Derek said as he swallowed. "Sarah… you…"

"Why do you have ribbons in your hand?"

"Huh?" Derek asked as he looked down at the two pink ribbons in his hand. His eyes flashed to the door. "They're…"

"DD?" A small voice came from behind Derek as the door opened slowly and a little face poked around the corner. "What are you doing out on the porch?" She asked as she looked up at the woman at the door and her eyes flashed to the baby in her arms and the little girl with them, who looked just about her age. "Hi." She said as she smiled.

"I'll be right in, sweetheart." Derek said as he reached behind him and touched the top of her head as she glanced to his sister again.

"Okay…" She said softly and shyly as she closed the door.

Derek glanced to his sister to see a look of complete and utter shock on her face. "Derek?"

The door opened again and Zoey popped her head out one more time. "DD?" She whispered as Derek turned his head to the little girl. "I'll take my ribbons." She said as she held her hand out.

"Why don't we go inside?" Derek said as he turned toward Zoey and she nodded as she watched the new people cautiously. She grasped Derek's hand as he turned his head to his sister. "Are you coming inside, or are you going to stand there gaping at the door?" He asked as she swallowed and grasped Sammy's hand as she walked in after Derek. "Zoey… this is my sister Sarah…" Derek said as he turned around. "This is my niece Morgan… and that over there is Sammy…she's just about your age." Derek smiled. "Ladies… I would like you to meet Zoey." He said with a smile. "She's my…"

"Little girl." Zoey smiled as she tugged Derek's hand. "Ribbons, DD." She said as she held them up to him. "Ribbons, ribbons, ribbons!" She said as she hopped up and down.

"Yes… Ribbons…" Derek said as he walked down the hallway with Zoey. "Go get your brush and the rubber bands and we'll do this thing right."

"Okay!" Zoey said as she ran quickly toward the stairs.

"Walk, please…" Derek called after her.

"Sorry." She said as her pace slowed for a moment, only to be heard pounding quickly up the stairs.

Derek turned to Sammy and smiled. "You can go on upstairs too, if you'd like… There are tons of toys up there. I'm sure if you introduced yourself to Zoey, she'd let you play with them." He said as Sammy grinned and took off running toward the stairs. "Sammy… no running…" He said calling after the little dark haired girl as she slowed for a moment and then ran up the stairs just as fast as Zoey had. Derek turned to his sister and smirked. "Don't they ever just walk?" He asked as he smiled as she continued to stare at him in a stunned silence.

* * *

><p>Derek's smirk remained on his face as he walked through the kitchen and over to one of the cupboards. "Derek…" Sarah stammered as she stood in the doorway, Morgan reached out and poked her nose, but Sarah just continued to stare at Derek. "Derek…" She mumbled again.<p>

"Alright…" Derek replied. "Formalities aside…" He chuckled as he reached into the cupboard and pulled out a box of fruit snacks. Morgan immediately recognized the box and held out her hand.

"Nummy!" She said as she cupped her hand and wiggled her fingers as Derek walked over to her.

"You don't mind if the girls have fruit snacks, do you?" Derek asked as he opened a pack and put a couple in Morgan's hand as she quickly shoveled them into her mouth and held her hand out for more.

"Derek…" She shook her head as she whispered, her eyes darting to the little girl who came careening into the room holding a brush and a small baggie with colored bands in one hand, and a pink bear in the other as Sammy came running into the room after her.

"DD, Sammy likes my room!" She said excitedly as she held her arms out to Derek, who lifted her up and deposited her bottom onto a barstool beside the counter.

"She does?" Derek asked as he placed the brush and bands on the counter as he continued to watch his sister.

"Oh my goodness, Uncle Derek… Zoey has so many cool stuff!" Sammy exclaimed as she rested her arms on the counter and watched Derek as he picked up the brush.

"Fruit snacks!" Zoey said as she grabbed the box and pulled a pack out. "Here, Sammy… you want one?"

"Sure!" Sammy exclaimed as she crawled carefully onto the barstool beside Zoey and took the pack that Zoey was holding out to her. "Mommy, you should see Zoey's room… it's so awesome!" She said as she watched her mother stand and watch Derek as he put his back to her as he started to brush Zoey's hair.

"So you're six, and I'm six… so that means we are the same age! When is your birthday?" Zoey asked as she watched Sammy out of the corner of her eye.

"My birthday is in June… June tenth…"

"Oh my goodness! Mine is in June too! June fifteenth!" Zoey said excitedly. "Did you hear that, DD? Did you hear that? Sammy and me are almost twins!"

"Almost…" Derek chuckled as he laughed.

"DD says you guys live in New York… I'm from New York. That's where my fake mommy and me lived for a long time till I came here to live with DD." She said as she tried to nod.

"Hold still… unless you want crooked braids…" Derek laughed as he carefully slipped a rubber band over half of the little girl's hair, as he brushed the other half of her hair up and prepared to put a rubber band in it.

"Where did you learn how to braid hair?" Sarah asked as she moved toward Derek, walking around the counter so she could see his face. "Derek?"

"Someone taught me…" Derek chuckled as he watched Sarah walk around and stand with her fingernail in her teeth as she watched the two little girls talk back and forth, the little blonde haired girl keeping the conversation so light and happy, that Sarah didn't know what to think.

"I am so… confused…" Sarah said as she watched Sammy look up at her mother.

"What's wrong, Mommy?"

"I just… I don't…"

"Mommy wants to know where Zoey came from." Derek laughed.

"Oh… Oh, mommy, don't be silly… Zoey came from her mommy. That's where we all came from." Sammy laughed.

"Derek?"

"Zoey came from her mommy." Derek shrugged. "Sounds like a good enough explanation to me." He said as he started braiding the one side of Zoey's hair. He put the rubber band around the very end and tied the pink bow from the counter at the very top of the braid as he turned Zoey so he could reach the other side.

"Derek… you…"

"Owe you an explanation?"

"Huh… yeah…" She puffed as if she couldn't believe he would even suggest not explaining the situation.

Derek finished the second braid, tying the second bow onto it, he leaned down and kissed the top of Zoey's head. "All set." He said as he held out his hand for the wrappers of the fruit snacks, where Zoey placed it and grinned.

"Thanks, DD." She said with a happy smile.

"You're very welcome." He said as Sammy put her wrapper in Derek's hand.

"Thanks Uncle DD." She said as she giggled and she and Zoey climbed from their barstools. "Let's go play with your toys!"

"Yeah!" Zoey exclaimed as she and Sammy ran out of the room.

"No running, girls!"

"SORRY, DD!" The two girls shouted as the sounds of their pounding feet could be heard going up the stairs.

"Sammy… Sammy…" Morgan grunted as she wiggled from her mother's grip.

"You can let her go… the house is kid proof… just…" Derek walked down the hallway to the bottom of the stairs. "Zoey…?" He called as after a moment the little girl's face could be seen at the top of the stairs. "Let Morgan come play too, alright?"

"Okay…" Zoey said as she came flitting down the stairs. "Come on, Morgan…" She said sweetly as she took the little girl's hand. "Let's go play with Barbie…" She said with a smile as Morgan laughed as the two little girls disappeared up the stairs together.

Derek stopped and turned his head to his sister. She could see the beaming smile on his face and the light in his eyes that she couldn't remember having seen in years. "What the hell is going on with you, Derek Shepherd?" She said as she couldn't help but smile at his happiness.

"I am so glad it's only you…" He said as he grabbed her arm and pulled her toward the couch. She sat down in the couch and he turned and sat in the recliner chair beside it. "You won't even believe what has happened in the past two months." He said as he grinned brightly.

"Humor me." She said with a smirk as the happy sounds of three little girls tumbled down the stairs playfully, and Derek settled in to tell his sister of his adventures of the last two months.

* * *

><p>Derek's smirk slowly disappeared as he sucked in a slow, steady breath. His gaze was averted to the arm of the chair he was sitting in as he listened for a moment to the infectious giggle of the little girl upstairs. "It's not an easy story, Sarah." He said as he watched her lean forward slightly, resting her elbows on her knees as she cradled her chin in her hands.<p>

"Try me, Derek." She said as she watched him carefully. "How long have you been… taking care of her?"

"It has been a little less than two months now." Derek said as his eyes lifted to his sister's.

"Why haven't you said anything to us… why would you… why would you invite your family here if you knew that it would be hard? You looked petrified when you saw me at the door."

"Well… I wasn't ready just yet. I hadn't mentally prepared myself… or anything, you know? There is an order of things that I wanted to be sure that you understood… and besides… Mom knows."

"Mom knows?"

"She does." Derek shrugged. "Zoey answered the phone."

"I just saw Mom… I mean… we see her every weekend, she hasn't given any indication that anything was…"

"I asked her not to say anything." Derek replied, watching his sister sigh. "It's just… it's a sensitive matter… her situation is sensitive, and… her safety is very important to me. Her happiness is very important to me."

"But Derek… what on earth do you know about raising a child?" Sarah asked, sitting up straight as she watched her brother's eyebrows raise.

"Probably just about as much as you did when you had your first child, Sarah. Maybe a little more than that." He said with a slight huff. He was insulted that she would insinuate that he didn't know what he was doing. "Now stop sounding like Nancy, and start being the good sister again." He said stubbornly as she gave him a faux glare.

"That was a cheap shot, Derek."

"What's wrong? You can dish it, but you can't take it?" He asked as he challenged her. "Sarah… she's good for me." Derek explained.

The two of them talked for a while, the story of how Zoey came into his life, his heart, his home and his soul was whispered in a delicate manner. The gasps of her life with Lexie and the horrific episode that brought her back to him were caught in her throat as she felt the little girl's pain, she couldn't imagine such a precious and happy child having gone through that. His story then moved to the little girl's mother, and the lies that shrouded the woman that had lay motionless for six, excruciating years. He told her of her communication, her thoughts, her pain, her laughter that he was sure was hiding within the walls of her mind that he couldn't hear out loud, but he knew was right beneath the surface. He spoke of his vow to her, the MRI, the blood tests and the threats from the chief of staff. He told her of his promise and his words to his boss and the young woman's friends as he promised to take care of her, promised to save her, promised with all of his heart to take care of her beautiful child.

He told her of the therapist who had come to prove that she was of sound mind, and that she had chosen someone to care for her, to love her, to hold her through the pain. Someone who truly understood what was important to her, not easy for everyone else to have to deal with. She had found Derek, and he signed those papers with such pride and such strength. He whispered about his feelings of love, admiration and hope for the young woman, and when he spoke of their goodbye to her, she watched as he slowly crumbled before her very eyes as she moved to his side and held him as he cried, unable to make it through the story without breaking down completely.

* * *

><p><em>Derek stood beside the bed, his eyes were downcast as he watched the woman lying in the bed before him. She was at peace, resting. Her eyes were closed and her breathing was so soft and delicate that she hardly even moved as she slept. Mark had taken Zoey for a walk around the hospital, the circus of doctors and therapists and code detectors and proxy signers was over. The papers were signed, and Derek was now in charge of the body before him. He was now responsible for a person that he hardly knew, but felt such a strong bond with, that it sent sharp pains of anxiety through his chest.<em>

He watched as she rested, knowing that the interview with the psychiatrist was taxing on her, the fear of this blood clot killing her silently was enough to exhaust her. She had so much fear, so much anxiety, so much pain in her body, and there was no way for her to release it. She was hurting, and she couldn't express it. She was dying, and she couldn't prevent it. She was awake, and she wouldn't let him in.

"Meredith." Derek whispered as he touched her hand. He could see that her eyes were moving beneath her eyelids slightly. He knew that she could hear him, that she was listening, that she was just lying there waiting for him to speak to her. "I… am very afraid of this surgery, Meredith." He whispered. "It's risky… dangerous… It's scary… very scary, and I'm so worried that we're going to lose you." Derek swallowed. "I know that it isn't the way that I should be talking… I'm a doctor… a surgeon… I am someone who should know how to do this, and have you survive this… but there is one thing that I am not, Meredith." Derek whispered. "I'm not you."

Derek could feel the tears welling in his eyes, he could feel his throat closing slightly as he tried to release his emotions without falling completely apart. "I have no idea how strong you are." He whispered. "I don't know… if you have the strength to make it through this surgery. It's complicated… and painful… and there are… aspects of it that I… I don't like… and there is a lot of work… a lot of um…" Derek swallowed. "A lot of things that go into it… that… will make… I mean… what I'm… Meredith… in order for them to get to your brainstem… they will have to remove your inner ear… for ease of access." He swallowed. "You… they're going to have to put you on a bypass… and as with any surgery, there is the possibility of paralysis… or… or death, Meredith… I don't know how strong you are." He whispered. "I need to know that you want this… that you want this without a doubt, Meredith." He whispered. "I need to know."

Her eyes slowly opened.

"Meredith." He whispered.

**I just want to hold my baby. Kiss my baby. I want to say her name. Hear my voice say her name.**

Derek watched her slow, steady blinks, reading each and every letter carefully. "I understand." He whispered.

**I am doing this for her.**

"No, Meredith." Derek said softly. "You need to be doing it for both of you."

**You are doing this for both of us.**

"I love you." Derek said, the words rolling off his tongue so gently, tenderly and easily. He couldn't believe he had said it until it was already out there in the open. He couldn't have stopped them if he wanted to.

**You hardly know me.**

"Yet there is something about you that is so pure, so beautiful… so enchanting." He whispered.

**I am not really sleeping beauty, Derek.**

"I wouldn't bet my money on it, Meredith." Derek whispered. He looked up as the door opened and Zoey came running inside. She grasped Derek's hand as he lifted her into his arms.

"Are you going to fix her, DD?" She whispered. "Are you going to fix my real mommy?" She asked as she looked down at Meredith as a tear trailed down her cheek. Derek looked up at Mark, seeing the look of complete and utter concern on his friend's face as the little girl begged for him to save the only thing left to connect to her past and who she is. "DD…" She whispered as she rested her head on his shoulder.

"Derek?" Mark whispered as he nodded toward the door. "Doctor Pai is here." He whispered as Derek held the little girl in his arms a little tighter.

"I need to stay here for a couple more minutes." He whispered. "Just… can you… um…?"

"I'll make sure that the necessary tests are done… I'll be there the entire time." Mark whispered.

"I wish that they would let me… let me be there."

"You know they can't do that, Derek." Mark whispered.

"I know." He whispered.

"You have to be here for Zoey." Mark said softly.

"I know." Derek nodded as he rocked her softly and looked down at Meredith as she looked up at him. "We're going to be here when you wake up." He said softly.

"I'm going to have to stand up for nine or so hours because of you." Mark winked as Meredith's eyes closed. "Oh… don't play hard to get, Meredith… you know that you love me too."

"She only puts up with you because you take care of her daughter." Derek replied as he watched Meredith open her eyes again. She blinked once as her eyes moved to Mark. Derek laughed a short laugh.

"What?" Mark asked as he watched Zoey look over at Meredith.

"She said that I was right." Derek said as he squeezed Meredith's hand.

"Oh… you're a spunky little thing, aren't you?" Mark said as he touched Meredith's other hand. He looked up at Derek. "I'll give you guys a little more time… and Cris and I will be in to get her…" Mark whispered. Derek nodded and Mark nodded in response as he slowly slipped out of the room.

* * *

><p><em>The door clicked as Mark left the room, leaving Zoey and Derek alone with Meredith. Derek shifted Zoey in his arms as she looked down at Meredith. "You're going to fix her, DD?" Zoey whispered as she watched him grasp Meredith's hand.<em>

"We're going to try our best, little one." Derek whispered.

"What are we waiting for?" Zoey asked.

"Just… I…"

Meredith's eyes blinked and Derek turned his attention to her.

**Tell her that you're saying goodbye.**

Derek was struck by her answer. Goodbye was not an option in Derek's mind. Goodbye was by no means something that Derek was ready to say. "No." Derek whispered.

"What?" Zoey asked as she looked to Meredith as she blinked. "What is she saying, DD?"

**Tell her that I loved her… tell her that I want to say goodbye… so if I don't make it… she'll know she's not alone, that her mother always loved her.**

"What is she saying?" Zoey asked softly.

Derek cleared his throat as Meredith finished what she was saying. "She says she loves you very much, sweetheart." Derek said as he kissed the little girl's head. "She said that she's always loved you and will love you forever."

**I didn't say that.**

"She loves me very much?"

"Yes she does." Derek replied.

**Tell her I said goodbye, Derek.**

"She says that she is going to do everything she can to come back from this… She wants to hug you."

"I can hug her."

**Derek! Tell her I said goodbye!**

"She wants to hug you back." Derek said, watching Meredith plead with him. He shook his head and gave her a stern look as he watched Zoey smile softly.

"I want her to hug me."

**Derek… please… please tell her what I'm saying.**

"She's going to try her very best." Derek said softly as Zoey snuggled into him as she watched Meredith. Derek lifted her down to the bed, as she crawled up toward Meredith's face.

"I love you very much, Mommy." Zoey said as she leaned forward and kissed Meredith softly.

**I love you.**

"Meredith…" Derek said softly.

**I don't want to talk to you.**

Meredith's eyes closed when she said that, tears rolling down her cheeks as Zoey kissed Meredith again. "Feel better soon, Mommy." Zoey whispered as she ran her fingers through her hair and kissed her forehead. "Feel better soon…"

"Meredith…" Derek said as he wiped the tear from her cheek. "Meredith, please look at me." He whispered.

After a moment, Mark and Cristina walked into the room. Cristina glanced to Derek, and noticed an immediate look of panic on his face. "Derek… are you alright?" She whispered.

"She won't look at me." Derek said as he looked to Cristina.

"She's probably tired." Cristina replied as she approached the bed. "Don't take it so seriously." She said as she approached the bed.

"Aunt Crissy… are you taking mommy now?"

"We are…" Cristina nodded.

"Take good care of her… okay?" Zoey whispered as she kissed Meredith again.

"I promise we'll take care of her…" Cristina whispered as Derek lifted the little girl from the bed. "Are you ready, Mark?"

"I'm ready." He nodded.

"Let's get her down there…" She nodded as Mark and Cristina helped lift her to a gurney. Her eyes remained closed the entire time. "Let's go…" Cristina said as Mark covered her with the blanket and tucked her hands beneath it. "I'll have Mark keep you informed." Cristina said, as Derek held tightly to the little girl as she waved.

"Bye, Mama… bye, Mommy…" Zoey waved.

As they rolled out of the door, Meredith's eyes opened and she looked directly at Derek.

**Goodbye.**

* * *

><p><em>The rain was unforgiving. It poured down in sheets, wave after wave of raindrops pounding into everything that stood in its path. The cemetery stood empty, stoic, and alone on the side of the hill, it's gray and white stones taking the brunt of the vicious storm as the wind swirled and pushed the rain into patterns in the air and eventually pushed the falling water to the ground.<em>

_The rain gathered in small puddles along the path through the cemetery, the water displaced in a constant pattern as more water ran down the hard asphalt into the cracks, creases and crevices of the path. Far along the path, three umbrellas bobbed solemnly along, their owners each bundled in their jackets, the black of the two larger umbrellas overshadowing the delicate tiny pink umbrella that bobbed along between them._

_Tiny pink galoshes splashed into each puddle, no giggles were emitted, only the occasional eye contact between the gray eyed girl and her two companions. There were no words passed between the three of them, no words were needed, for they all knew what the other was thinking._

_The little girl's hand was warm and enveloped delicately into Derek's, his pace was slow and solemn as he watched her little feet skip along in a desperate attempt to keep up. She looked up at Mark, his eyes were downcast and open, his mind was elsewhere, keeping itself warm and far away from the sadness that he felt walking through the desolate, soaking resting place for the dead._

_They stepped down the path, the only sound in their wake was the gentle splashing of the little girl's feet, and the hard hammering of the rain into the nylon of the umbrellas. Large drops of collected water slipping from its waterproof covering and falling to the ground, mixing with the water that had long since found its way to the waiting asphalt._

_They turned at the next path, somewhat sharply, causing Mark to step into the grass for a moment, his foot sliding along the slick green clumps of grass as he lifted his foot and placed it squarely on the pavement as Derek turned again, walking down the line of gravestones toward a freshly placed stone, and the dark spot behind it, marking the freshly laid grave._

_Derek stopped before the stone, his eyes burning into its granite structure, his eyes moving along the scrolling words upon it, his heart fluttering in his chest as he felt Mark step up behind him and place his hand on his shoulder._

_"Derek?" Mark whispered._

_"No." Derek replied, his voice but a deep shuddering croak as he tried to swallow his words._

_"It's alright." Mark whispered._

_"It's not alright." Derek choked. "It's not alright." He whispered, feeling Mark back off for a moment, his hand moving to his pocket as the little spirit in pink galoshes tugged playfully at his fingers. She was restless and tired, her eyes wide with concern for Derek as he stared at the stone as if he were trying to change the past._

_"DD?" She said as she looked up at him, trying desperately to get his attention, to see some sort of reaction from him. "DD?" She said again, her voice the perfect mimic of itself as she waited._

_Derek looked down at the angelic figure below him, her hair in braids, her eyes filled to the brim with concern as tiny droplets of rain splattered from her umbrella to her raincoat. "Hmm?" he whispered as he watched her tilt her head._

_"Can we go see Mommy now?" She asked as Derek glanced quickly to Mark. "I want to go see her now…" She said as she swallowed hard._

_Derek took a slow, deep breath. He held it for a split second as he very carefully crouched to her level. "Sweetheart." Derek shook his head as he watched her bite her bottom lip and wait. "We talked about this." He said softly._

_"I… but…" Zoey whimpered._

_"Zoey." Derek whispered as he watched the little girl's eyes drop to the rain soaked ground. She gripped Derek's hand tighter and pushed herself into him as she held tightly to him, refusing to say another word as Derek and Mark said their silent goodbyes._


	12. Choosing Sides

Derek's sister held her brother in her arms securely as he cried. His sobs were gentle and not violent, but it was very rare that she ever saw her brother cry. She could tell that the whole situation had affected him deeply. She could tell that the little girl that he spoke of, and her mother meant so very much to him, and she could tell that his heart was breaking for her plight. "It's alright, Der…" She whispered as she held her arms around him tightly. "It's alright…" She whispered as her vision caught sight of two wide gray eyes staring across the room at her from the top of the stairs. "Derek…" She whispered as she looked down at Derek, and when she glanced back to the stairs, they were gone. "Derek…" She whispered as Derek sat up slightly and wiped his tears almost embarrassingly from his cheeks.

"I'm sorry…" He sniffled. "I… I just… I haven't…. there hasn't been anyone around me lately that doesn't already know the story." He said as he swallowed hard. "Anyone I would have had to talk about it to around here… they already know… and we don't talk about it. It… it just was a lot harder to talk about than I thought it would be." He whispered.

"Derek… I think…" She whispered as she looked back up the stairs and saw those two gray eyes staring back. "I think someone wants to check on you." She said as his eyes lifted to the stairs as he watched the little girl's eyes disappear.

"Zoey?" Derek said aloud as he waited a moment. "Little monkey?" He called as Sarah watched him, listened to his tone, how it softened when he spoke her name. "Come out, come out, wherever you are." He said gently. Her eyes appeared once again as she stared wide eyed down at him. "Come here, little one." Derek whispered. He watched as she moved forwards slightly, taking a step down the stairs. She paused as she watched Derek cautiously, her hands grasping the spokes of the stairs as she walked down slowly.

"Are you crying, DD?" She whispered.

"I'm alright, baby…" Derek whispered.

"Did something happen to mommy?" She asked.

"Oh… oh, no, sweetheart… come here…" Derek said as he held his arms out. "Come here, baby." Derek said again as she climbed down the rest of the stairs quickly and ran across the room, grabbing him tightly as he pulled her into a hug. "Nothing happened to Mommy, baby… nothing bad happened to mommy…" He whispered.

"Then why are you crying, DD?" She whispered. "Why are your eyes all red, and your cheeks all wet…? Why are you crying if nothing bad happened to mommy?" She whispered as she pushed her body into Derek's chest and watched Sarah cautiously. "Did Miss Sarah make you cry?"

"No, sweetheart…" Derek whispered. "DD is just… he's a little tired… and just thinking of sad things." He whispered.

"Don't think of sad things." She whispered. "Think of um… think of happy things. Think of when mommy said my name." She said as she watched his eyes light up. "You laughed then." She said as Derek nodded.

"I did laugh." Derek said as he smiled a genuine smile through his tears. "I was happy… I am happy…" Derek nodded.

"She made it?" Sarah asked, watching Derek as he caught her eyes. "Meredith… She made it through the surgery?"

"She did." Derek whispered. "And… it… took a lot out of her." He said as he felt Zoey wiping the tears from his cheeks as she watched his face carefully. "But… she made it through… and it was touch and go for a while… we didn't think she'd make it… it took a while for her to wake up." Derek said softly. "They had to take out her inner ear… she's deaf in her right ear now… and there is paralysis on her right side, only time will tell if she will regain use… but she's alive."

"Alive and…talking?"

"She can make… sounds… she needs speech therapy, physical therapy… occupational therapy… but she is alive… and she is going to need help for a long time."

"Derek…" Sarah said as she shook her head with a smile on her face.

"What?"

"Why are you crying?" She whispered. "She's alive."

"DD?" Zoey said as she looked up into his eyes.

"Hmm?" Derek asked as he raised his eyebrows.

"I want to go visit Mommy, please." She said as she put her hands up to her braids. "My ribbons are in… and I'm ready to go."

"You're ready to go?"

"Yes."

"Would it be alright if Miss Sarah and Morgan and Sammy came too?"

"Oh yes!" She said excitedly. "Sammy is one of my new best friends." She said as she watched the two little girls walking down the stairs.

"Sarah…?" Derek asked. "Would you mind coming along with us? We were on our way out the door when you got here."

"I would love to meet her…" Sarah said with a curious look into her brother's eyes.

"What?" Derek asked as he helped the little girl slip from his lap.

"Nothing…" She said with a smile. "I was sure I saw something in your eyes…"

"You're crazy, Sarah…" Derek said with a laugh.

"Hurry, DD! Hurry…. Let's go see mommy…. Get your pink sparkly shoes on and let's GO!" Zoey exclaimed as she ran toward the door to find her shoes.

"Sparkly shoes?" Sarah laughed as she looked to Derek.

"It's a very long story…" Derek said with a laugh as he and his sister stood up, and they got ready to visit Meredith.

* * *

><p>"Zzzzzz…" The sound had been coming from Meredith's lips for almost a half hour, pausing only to breathe as Izzie worked on her secondary therapy.<p>

"She'll be here, Meredith… stop with the noises." Izzie whispered as she tried to move Meredith's arm, only to have her pull it out from her hands and move it away, attempting to roll over. "Meredith… stop…"

"ZZZZZZZZZZ…" She grunted loudly in protest as Izzie released her arm and stood with her arms over her chest.

"Stop being so stubborn! I'm trying to help you."

"No." Meredith grunted, her brows furrowing as she narrowed her eyes, muttering the only full word she had been able to mutter since she woke up.

"Meredith, there's nothing I can do. They said they'd be here, and they're not here yet… you know they visit every day, they're not going to forget about you. Wipe that dirty look off your face, now."

_Maybe they will forget me, you don't know, Izzie. You don't know._

"Stop being stubborn and let me do your exercises… and…"

"Is she giving you trouble?" Derek's voice came from the doorway as Meredith's eyes moved to the doorway and her left side of her mouth lifted to a lopsided grin.

"Zzzzzzz…" Meredith muttered as the door opened a little wider.

"Yes… she's driving me crazy…" Izzie rolled her eyes. "You're late… and she won't let me forget it."

"Oh…" Derek said with a smirk. "I was talking to Meredith…" He winked as Izzie rolled her eyes.

"I'll let you deal with her for a while…" Izzie said with a laugh as she walked toward the door, resting her hand on Derek's shoulder for a second, she smiled at him and slipped out the door.

"Zzzzzzz…" Meredith said again as she raised her eyebrow.

"She's here…" Derek nodded from the doorway. "There's someone I wanted to introduce to you though… a visitor…" He glanced behind him and Zoey came shuffling in quickly, hopping, into the room with her hospital gown covering her clothes as she waved.

"Hi, Mommy." She said with a smile as she moved toward the bed.

"Be careful." Derek whispered as Zoey turned and gave him a scowl, followed by a half smile.

"I know, DD." She said as she turned and grasped Meredith's hand. "Mommy…" She whispered as she leaned her head on Meredith's hand. Meredith moved her fingertips as she tickled the little girl slightly, hearing her giggle.

"Meredith…" Derek said as he opened the door as Sarah stepped through with the two small children as they grasped her tightly. "This is my sister Sarah… Sarah, this is Meredith. This is Morgan…" Derek said as he touched his niece's head.

"That's Sammy." Zoey said as she pointed to Samantha as she held tightly to her mother. The sounds and sights of the hospital were new to them, and they were slightly frightened by them. "Sammy is my new friend." She said proudly.

"They're just a little nervous…" Derek explained. "Sarah is here for Thanksgiving…"

"I'm his favorite sister." Sarah spoke up, making Derek chuckle, Meredith's eyes watched her as she felt her lip move slightly into a smile. "I came a little early to get things ready…"

"She thinks I can't go grocery shopping." Derek replied.

"I never said that."

"It was implied." Derek teased.

"Still… I never said it." She said as she raised her eyebrows at him and gave him a challenging look. He gave the same look back to him as he pulled a chair from the corner to allow Sarah to sit.

"Here…" Derek said softly as he watched his sister approach. "Have a seat… you two ladies can sit on mommy's lap…" He said as the two little girls scrambled into their mother's lap.

"Now how much nonsense have you been filling this poor woman's mind with?" Sarah asked as she watched Derek walk to Meredith's bed and whisper something to her, to which she responded by blinking at him. He pushed the button and the seat raised slightly to put her in a slightly upright position, she attempted to move her head, finding that it pushed back against the pillow awkwardly, he adjusted it so she could see her guests.

"I have filled her mind with no nonsense." Derek replied, watching Meredith roll her eyes, Sarah laughed. "Okay… maybe a little." He said as her lip curled slightly. "See that smile?" Derek asked. "It's beautiful." He said as he watched Zoey trying to pull herself onto the bed. He lifted the little girl up and let her rest against Meredith's body. "Meredith talks through blinking for the most part now, but she's learning to speak clearer." Derek said as he watched her eyes watching him.

"Oh, Derek… stop talking about her like she's not here… sit down and relax… you're not her nanny…" Sarah replied. "We'll figure out a way to communicate…" She said as Meredith turned her head toward Sarah.

"Thhh…"

"You're very welcome…" Sarah said with a smile as Meredith's eyes flashed to Derek and back to his sister. "You want to hear some Derek stories, huh?" She giggled as Derek watched Meredith nod slightly.

"How did you do that?" Derek asked as he watched Sarah glance to him.

"Give me a break, Derek… You can see it in her eyes that she wants some dirt on you… and having dealt with you for two months with no other choice… I think she deserves it." Sarah giggled as Meredith emitted a slight noise from her throat, that resonated into the air.

"You made her giggle!" Derek exclaimed as he watched Meredith's cheeks turn pink. "Oh…" He laughed. "It was beautiful."

"He says that about everything you do, I'm guessing…" Sarah laughed as Meredith nodded.

"Mama, I have to pee." Sammy whispered as she glanced at the woman in the bed for a moment and then back to her mother.

"There you go, Derek…" Sarah said with a smirk. "You can follow after her… and Meredith and I will get to know one another a little better."

"Sarah… I…"

"She has to pee, Derek… don't make her hold it." Sarah said as Sammy slipped from her mother's lap and glanced to Meredith before latching onto Derek's hand.

"Pee pee too…" Morgan said as she slipped from her mother's lap and ran to Derek and grabbed his other hand.

"You heard the ladies…" Sarah said as Zoey sat up.

"Me too!" She said as she leaned up and kissed Meredith. She slipped from the bed and ran toward Derek, as he rolled his eyes.

"You planned this…" Derek muttered with a smirk.

"I don't think it could have been better planned." Sarah said with a laugh as Derek shook his head and walked out the door with the three children in tow.

Sarah sat with Meredith for the longest time, her stories of Derek rattled off her tongue as if she had been rehearsing them for years. Meredith's eyes stayed focused on her, and she was simply delighted to be able to talk to someone different for a change, someone who wasn't focusing on her illness, on her inability to react.

She could see a lot of Derek in his sister, the same dark hair, the same piercing blue eyes, though she had a few more laugh lines than Derek, she could see that his sister was a nice woman, a happy woman. She felt very comfortable in the presence of Derek's sister, and Sarah seemed to be very comfortable talking to Meredith, her stories were funny and she could feel herself start to laugh, her head moving slightly as she listened.

"Derek told me a lot about the situation… about your family." Sarah said softly. "I don't want to get into it… but I can vouch for him… he is a great father figure." She said softly as Meredith's eyes softened. "He told me how he met Zoey… and I have to say… watching them together, you would think the man were in love. He watches over her so carefully… and I can see how important she is to him, and oh my goodness, she is the most adorable little girl I've ever met… she is absolutely precocious, smart… and she keeps Derek on his toes." Sarah laughed.

"Thhh…" Meredith said, trying to thank the woman for the compliments, she felt proud and happy that someone else was seeing the same things that she was seeing from a distance.

"I'm just speaking the truth." Sarah smiled.

* * *

><p>Derek took the three little girls to the bathroom, waiting for them to finish up, he helped them wash their hands and led them back into the hallway. He stopped as he saw a familiar face coming in his direction. "Derek!" The woman said as she approached them quickly. Zoey hid behind Derek and Derek stiffened at the voice.<p>

"Rachel…" He said as he watched the woman coming toward him as his nieces each hid beside his legs.

"Are you adopting more?" She laughed as she approached, pretty proud of herself with her little joke as Derek stood in front of the three girls.

"I'm actually thinking of moving to Africa, and adopting a small country of children and raising them as my own. If you'd like to marry me, you can come along too." He said with a completely straight face as he watched her mouth drop.

"I… I… Derek, I…"

"No? Too bad… to think of all the fun we could have had…" Derek said as he turned. "Let's go, girls…" He said as he grasped Morgan's hand and Zoey grabbed Samanthas, as they led the way back down the hallway toward Meredith's room.

"Who was that, Uncle Derek?"

"Ever hear about the big bad wolf?" Sammy asked.

"Uh huh…"

"That's his financial director." Derek replied, watching the little girl give him a confused look. "Don't worry about who that is… Nosy kid…"

"That's Rachel… she hurt DD's heart."

"Oh!" Sammy said as Derek rolled his eyes and ushered them back into the room.

"Someone has a big mouth…" Derek muttered as they all walked inside the room as Meredith's eyes moved to the door and Sarah looked over.

"Who has a big mouth?" Sarah asked.

"I do." Zoey smirked as she walked over to Meredith's bed. "Mean Miss Rachel was making DD angry."

"Rachel was out there?" Sarah asked.

"Mean Miss Rachel." Derek said as he nodded toward Zoey and helped her climb onto the bed beside Meredith. "Big mouth." Derek said to the grinning little girl. "Did you two have a nice talk?" Derek asked as he watched Meredith blink once.

"We did have a nice talk." Sarah said with a smile. "You're very lucky to have a person like Meredith to talk to, Derek… but I have a feeling that once she's up and about… you're not going to get away with a thing." She said as she watched Meredith's smirk.

"No." Meredith said aloud, as Sarah, Derek, and Meredith shared a laugh.

* * *

><p>Derek sat with Sarah and Meredith for a while as the girls colored and talked as well, telling their own stories that made everyone laugh. Derek straightened up and Meredith's eyes went to him. She knew what it meant. "No." She mumbled, her voice sounded soft, and sad.<p>

"Meredith…" Derek whispered.

"What, what is it?" Sarah asked.

"She knows we have to go."

"No." She said again, her eyes closing tightly.

"Not this again, Meredith…" Derek said softly. "I don't want to go… but we have to."

"No…" She said louder. "NO!" She said again, louder and more forcefully.

"Meredith." Derek said sternly as Sarah stood up.

"Derek, you have to understand what she's going through." Sarah said as she walked to the bed. "She doesn't want to be left alone."

"I know… but we have things that we have to do… and… I want to stay here, I do… but…"

"NO!" Meredith said loudly, swinging her good arm haphazardly to hit Derek in the hand.

"Alright…" Derek shook his head. "No hitting… Zoey… pick up your crayons, sweetheart… we have to go…"

"Mommy says no." Zoey replied as she continued to color.

"Mommy is not…" Derek stopped himself as he glanced to Meredith. "Mommy doesn't get…"

"Derek." Sarah said as she shook her head with a frustrated look on her face. "Meredith… they'll be back. You need your rest… I know you don't want to be alone…" Sarah said softly. "Derek, you need to get her some way to communicate… she can't go on like this…" She shook her head.

"I… Meredith is… I just… Zoey, get your crayons." Derek said sternly.

"No." Zoey said from the floor as she continued coloring.

"Zoey, don't do this…" Derek sighed. "Pick up your crayons… and let's go." Derek said as he reached forward to grab her crayons.

"NO! NO! NO!" Zoey screamed as she pulled the book from Derek and rolled on the floor away from him screaming. "NO!"

"That's enough!" Derek exclaimed as he reached for her coloring book, watching as she held a crayon in her hand and slammed it into his wrist, stabbing at him.

"No! No! No!" She exclaimed, releasing a loud, angry screech that sent Sarah and the two girl's hands over their ears as the two girls stood up and ran toward Sarah.

"Derek!" Sarah exclaimed as she pushed him back a little as he released the coloring book and reached for Zoey's hand. "Come on, sweetheart… why don't we go and we'll come see mommy again soon?"

"No! Mommy doesn't want me to go! Mommy wants me to stay! Mommy wants me to stay!" Zoey exclaimed as she stood up and ran around the bed, climbing beneath it as Derek stood up straight and glared at his sister for a moment.

"Don't look at me like that… you're the one handling it all wrong…"

"Handling it all wrong? What do you know about the situation, Sarah? Just… go out in the hallway for a minute…and I'll take care of it." He said sternly.

"Derek."

"Just go out in the hallway, alright?" He said as he pointed his finger toward the door as he watched Zoey poke her head out from the other side of the bed. "Just… please…" He said as he took a deep breath. "Please…" He said as his eyes closed for a moment and he opened them again, giving her a pleading look.

"I'll… be just outside…" She whispered. "Come on, girls…" She said as she took Sammy and Morgan's hand and walked toward the door. "Meredith… it was a pleasure to meet you… we'll talk again soon." She said with a kind smile as she stepped out into the hallway, but not before giving her brother a warning glance.

Derek stood with his arms crossed over his chest for a moment as he looked over at Meredith as she watched him. There was a challenge in her eyes and he knew this wouldn't be easy. "Meredith, we have to…"

"No!" Meredith said again as Derek shook his head.

"Meredith…" Derek said as he watched Zoey climb back under the bed. "Zoey, come out from back there."

"No!" She exclaimed as she popped her head up and then back down. Derek turned toward the crayons on the floor and began to clean them up. He put them in the drawer by the bed, and watched Meredith as she watched him carefully.

"You know that we can't stay all day long… why do you put up such a fight? You know that I want to stay… and every time we get ready to go, you start this right back up… please… Meredith… don't you know that we want to stay?"

"No." She muttered.

"Meredith…" Derek whispered as he touched her forehead, her eyes following his fingertips as he touched her skin. "Meredith…" He whispered again. "We'll visit tomorrow… you know we'll be here... we haven't missed a day."

"Ddjjj…" She mumbled as he watched a tear roll down her cheek.

"Oh…" Derek whispered. "Don't cry…" He said softly as he wiped her tear and let his fingers linger on her skin for a moment. She blinked her eyes tightly, and released a gasp of air as she tried to hold in her sob. "Oh, Meredith…please don't cry…" he said softly as he moved his fingers through her hair. He watched as Zoey popped out from where she had been hiding.

"Don't cry, Mommy… don't cry." She said softly as she patted Meredith's hand. "We love you… we love you very much…" Zoey said softly. She looked up at Derek and he smiled a half smile as she gave him an apologetic glance. "We love you, Mommy and we'll visit tomorrow, okay?" she said as she kissed her mother's hand. "Say my name, mama…" She said, bouncing a little. Derek smiled as he watched Meredith glance to the little girl longer. "You can do it, mommy… say my name… say… Zzzzzzoey…" She said with a smile.

"Zzzzz..." Meredith attempted as Derek smiled at the little girl.

"Yay!" She said excitedly as she clapped her hands for Meredith, who smiled slightly as she watched the little girl's braids bounce. "Soon you will be able to say the whole thing!" She said as Zoey looked at Derek.

"Meredith…" he whispered as he touched her forehead again as she looked at him. "We will be back tomorrow…" He said with a nod. "I promise…" He whispered.

**_I know. _**

Her eyes blinked back at him, as he watched her watch him. "We'll see you then." He whispered.

**_Bye._ **

She blinked as she swallowed, blinking once, twice, three times, as he ran his finger over her cheek one more time, before she felt the little girl's hand in hers release as she felt the absence of Derek's fingertips, and watched as she took Derek's hand and left with him.

* * *

><p>Derek walked out of the room with Zoey, his eye caught his sister's and Zoey let go of his hand to run to Sammy and Morgan, who acted like nothing had happened in the room and latched onto Zoey's hand as they giggled and talked. Sarah watched Derek as he walked down the hallway, not pausing as he stomped toward the elevator. "Derek…" She said as she caught up with him, watching him usher the three girls into the elevator as he held the door to her.<p>

"What?" He asked as he raised his eyebrows, his mood was dark and filled with shadows, she could see the torment in his eyes that he was attempting to hide, and it was making her nervous.

"Are you alright?" She asked, watching as his mood had completely turned around from before the visit. She couldn't believe the change. "Derek…?"

"I'm fine, Sarah… I'm fine… alright… let's go grocery shopping or whatever… and get some things for the house, maybe some… decorations or something… what do you do for Thanksgiving anyway? There aren't any like… lights or trees or anything for this holiday… do you decorate for it?" He asked as he tilted his head, his attempt to change the subject was weak, but she was willing to give him a little breathing room.

"No… there aren't lights or trees…" She laughed. "Did you and Zoey carve pumpkins or anything?"

"Oh! DD! We can draw punkins… and leafs… and pretty things and hang them up in the house!" Zoey said excitedly as Derek watched her smile and look to Sammy, who nodded her head.

"Yeah, yeah!" Sammy exclaimed.

"Color! I wanna color!" Morgan exclaimed.

"There… decorations are taken care of." Sarah said as she touched her brother's shoulder as the elevator door opened. He grabbed Morgan's hand before she could run out after the two older girls and lifted her into his arms as she protested for a moment, but eased into his arms.

"So… now we have to get a turkey and fixings…" He said as he kissed Morgan's cheek as she wiped it off and laughed at his surprised face.

"Do you have enough plates?" She asked, watching Derek sigh as he watched the two older girls.

"Um… no…" Derek said as he glanced to his sister. "It's not every day that I have an army of twenty five-ish people in my house."

"Say it…" She smirked as he grabbed Zoey's hand as they approached the front door of the hospital.

"I am not saying it…" He said as he walked through the opening doors as Sarah grasped hold of Sammy's hand.

"Come on, Derek… you want to say it…" She said as she stopped and put her hand on his chest to stop him from walking.

"Thank you for coming early and saving me from the rest of the family…" He rolled his eyes as she laughed.

"There… now doesn't that make you feel good… now finish…"

"Sarah…"

"Come on!" She exclaimed as she pushed on him slightly. "I'm not letting you step off the curb until you say it."

"You're a bully…" He smirked.

"Come on…"

"Okay… fine… you're right… I'm not prepared, I'm not ready… and I probably wouldn't even have a thawed turkey by the time everyone got here … does that sound about right to you?"

"You could have just said that I was right…" She shrugged with a laugh as her eyes moved to the side as a young woman walked toward them.

"Derek!" She called as she walked in their direction.

Sarah watched his eyes light up as the woman stepped close to them, she seemed to lift his mood when he said hello. "Kara…" Derek said with a smile as she smiled as she approached them.

"Hi Miss Kara…" Zoey said with a smile.

"Hi, Miss Zoey…" She smiled as she touched the little girl's freckled nose.

"What are you guys doing here? Visiting with mommy?" She asked as her eyes fell upon Sarah and the other two little girls. "Oh! And who is this!" She said with a smile as she tilted her head at the little dark haired girl in his arms.

"This is one of my nieces… this is Morgan… and that's Sammy… and this one over here is my sister Sarah." He said with a smile as Sarah held her hand out.  
>"Hi…" Sarah said, giving her brother a suspicious look as she shook Kara's hand.<p>

"I'm Kara… a friend of Derek's… my daughter and Zoey are in the same class. How are you enjoying your week off?" She asked as Derek gave her a refreshed smile.

"Well, it's going to be a busy week." Derek said with a laugh as he bounced Morgan a little in his arms. "The rest of the crew will be here on Wednesday." He said as Morgan pushed her head into Derek's neck shyly. "You girls should stop by… maybe for dessert or something… you'll fit right in. You can even bring the boyfriend."

"Oh! That reminds me… there was something I wanted to talk to you about… I should get in, I have a session in a few minutes… but seriously… call me later…"

"So no on the Thanksgiving invite?" He asked as she tilted her head and laughed.

"I'll see… maybe for dessert…"

"You should have taken the week off too…" Derek teased as she laughed. "You don't know the freedom you're missing…" He rolled his eyes as he laughed.

"DD, let's go! We gotta get crayons and paper and stuff!" Zoey insisted as she pulled on his arm.

"I should go anyway…" Derek said with a laugh. "I'll see you guys on Thursday…" He said as she smiled.

"I'll see…" Kara replied. "It was nice to meet you, Sarah… Sammy and Morgan… Zoey… I'll see you next week."

"Thursday, Kara… you're going to see her Thursday…" Derek called as she shook her head and walked into the hospital.

"Thursday, Derek… got it…" She disappeared around the corner as Derek stood with a grin on his face.

"Derek, Derek, Derek…" Sarah said as she shook her head and walked toward the car holding Sammy's hand.

"What?" Derek asked as he stood there with Morgan in his arms and Zoey holding his other hand. He watched his sister walk toward the car, her head shaking the whole way. "What?" He asked as he followed after her quickly.

* * *

><p>Derek followed his sister and watched as she waited beside the car for him to catch up to her. He pushed the button on his keys to unlock the door and watched as she helped Sammy and Zoey into the car, turning around to take Morgan from Derek to put her in the car seat. "Sarah." He said as he watched her eyes flash to him and then go back to the task at hand.<p>

"What, Derek?" She asked as she looked up as she poked Morgan in the nose to make her giggle as she watched Zoey and Sammy put their seatbelts on as she closed the back door and turned toward her brother. "What? Why are you standing there? You said my name… what did you want to say?"

"You're giving me the disapproving look."

"Me? I don't have a disapproving look." She said as she shrugged. "I don't even know what you're talking about." She said as she walked around him toward the passenger side door.

"Yes you do… and you're giving it to me now." He said as she tilted her head down and gave him an irritated look as she shook her head. "See… there it is again!"

"Get in the car and shut up…" She said with a half smirk as she opened the passenger door and climbed in, watching as her brother opened his door and got into the driver's seat.

"Are you going to tell me what you're thinking, or do I have to figure it out from the looks on your face."

"You should know what I'm thinking about… you're the brain man…"

"Sarah… She's just a friend…"

"Hmm…" Sarah nodded her head as she buckled her seatbelt. "I'm sure she is…"

"Sarah, she has a boyfriend."

"I'm sure she does." Sarah nodded her head.

"Sarah…"

"Derek… let's just go and get groceries, I don't have time for you to explain in detail your love affair with everyone that you meet." Sarah said as she turned her head toward her brother with a sarcastic smirk. "I get it." She said as she nodded. "You're friends."

"Really good friends…" Derek replied.

"And she has a boyfriend?"

"A pretty serious boyfriend… yes."

"It still doesn't settle well with me." She said as she shook her head.

"Well… you thought that Rachel was nice… and sweet… and perfect for me, Sarah. That just goes to show you how much I trust your opinion." Derek teased as he watched her scowl from the seat next to him.

"I was just being nice…"

"So you've now decided to not be nice?" He asked as he raised his eyebrows.

"I just… I think you have other priorities in your life now." She said as her eyes flashed to the back seat, she watched Derek stare out the windshield and sigh. "Derek…"

"Sarah… she's just a friend."

"Mmmhmm…" Sarah nodded.

"You are so frustrating…"

"You're a liar." She said as she scowled.

"I am not a liar…" Derek replied as he glanced in the back seat to see that the two older girls were listening intently. "Can we not have this conversation right now?"

"When is a good time to have this conversation, Derek?" Sarah asked.

"Never." Derek replied as he swallowed. "Maybe you're not the good sister after all." He said as a smirk began to rise on his lips. "Ow!" He exclaimed as she smacked his arm hard, he glared at her. "Don't hit."

"Don't say things that make me hit." She replied as she crossed her arms over her chest. "Liar…"

"Midget." Derek whispered under his breath as his sister scowled at him.

"You're going to get it for that…"

"Sorry… little person…" He said as he smirked as she smacked him again. "No more hitting… we'll talk about this after we go shopping…"

"Fine." She said with a sigh.

"Fine." He said softly, as he felt anxiety rising in his belly, as he drove toward the grocery store.

* * *

><p>The shopping trip was uneventful, and Derek went about making dinner for him and his guests. Sarah sat at the counter as she watched him. "Derek…" She sighed.<p>

"You know, when you say my name like that, I know you're going to bring up something I don't want to hear…" He informed her as he turned his head to see her leaning on her hands.

"I just… I don't know… a child is a big responsibility."

"She keeps me together, Sarah." Derek replied. "She showed up at just the right time… and I can't imagine life without her."

"Derek…" She whispered. "What… are you going to do when her mother is well enough to take her back?" She asked as she watched Derek turn his head quickly.

"Huh?"

"Meredith, Derek… what are you going to do when she is well again. You wouldn't have had the surgery done if you didn't want her to be well again. I'm assuming you have the expertise to know whether she'll be fully functional after her therapy."

"She will be." Derek said. "We're sure the paralysis is only temporary… but she's been immobile for six years. It can take months for her to start moving around on her own."

"And then what?"

"And then… what? Derek shrugged. "Then she's better."

"And then she takes her daughter, Derek. What are you going to do?" Sarah asked.

"I haven't really thought about it, Sarah." Derek replied. "Why do you insist on bringing up things that are going to do nothing more than irritate the crap out of me?" He asked.

"Because they're important questions, Derek. I don't want your heart to be broken." She said as she watched him ignore her. "Derek… I've seen you hurt… don't do this to yourself. You need to talk about it."

"It's not anything that is going to happen soon, Sarah. Meredith knows how much she means to me… She knows Zoey is important to me, and she knows that she's important to me."

"Alright." Sarah said. "Now turn that around… what happens to Meredith when you're ready to give up Zoey?"

"Sarah." Derek replied.

"No, Derek… stop saying my name… this is just… argh! You are frustrating me!"

"What do you want me to say, Sarah?" Derek asked as he turned around quickly. "What do you want me to say? The little girl is going to have her mother… her mother, the woman who has been waiting to walk out of that hospital holding her hand for that little girl's entire life… I am not going to be the one to stop it from happening… and I'm not going to stand in their way. Yeah… maybe I'll be hurt, maybe… maybe I'll get a little depressed…"

"Don't fool yourself, Derek. It's going to devastate you." She whispered as she held his eyes with her.

"Then so be it." He said as he turned around again, continuing to prepare dinner. "What is the point of this conversation, anyway?" He muttered as he listened to his sister sigh.

"I just want you to know… that… when you do break… I'm not going to say 'I told you so.'" She whispered. "You can come to me, Derek… no matter what."

"I know that." He muttered as he looked to the ceiling. "Sarah…" He said as he turned his head. "Don't worry about me, alright?"

"I'm always going to worry about you, Derek." Sarah said with a small smile. "You always manage to find something for me to worry about."

"I'm dreading Thanks giving." Derek whispered.

"I know you are." Sarah shrugged. "But when it's all said and done… you've got quite the life out here in Seattle. And the women just fawn over you."

"You're not bringing up the Kara thing again, Sarah."

"I didn't say anything about Kara… but it's funny that you should mention her… first thing out of your mouth." She said with raised eyebrows.

"Shut up, Sarah." Derek muttered as he shook his head and continued making dinner.

"What's the name of that river in Egypt?" She asked, as she giggled, listening to her brother's low chuckle as he shook his head and pretended to ignore her.

* * *

><p>"DD…" Zoey asked as they sat at the kitchen table eating ice cream for dessert. The little girl's gray eyes flashed to Sammy and back to Derek. "Is Sammy and Morgan spending the night?"<p>

"They sure are… they're going to be here for a few nights until everyone else gets here." Derek replied as Sarah wiped chocolate ice cream dripping off Morgan's chin.

"So they can stay in my room?"

"They can… if you feel comfortable with that." Derek said, feeling his sister's eyes on him.

"Why wouldn't she feel…" Sarah started to ask as Zoey sighed.

"I guess it's okay… um… I just… um…"

"What is it, baby?" Derek asked as he scooped a mouthful of ice cream in his mouth as he watched her thinking.

"What happens if I have a bad dream?" She whispered as she watched Derek carefully.

"Then DD will be there to take care of it." Derek replied. "Stop worrying so much…"

"But that time… that time that Miss Kara stayed, and Carrie was here… remember, DD? Remember?"

"I remember… but we know what to do now, right… if you have a bad dream?"

"Miss Kara stayed?" Sarah asked, her eyebrows raised as Derek's focus remained on Zoey.

"She and DD had a slumber party when Carrie spent the night…" Zoey giggled. "It was really fun!" She said with a laugh as Derek stood up to put his bowl in the sink. Sarah stood up to follow him as there was a knock on the back door. Everyone turned to see a face peering in the window. Sarah jumped an the two girls nearly screamed as Zoey grinned. "MISTER MARK!" She exclaimed as she nearly leapt from her chair and ran for the door.

"Jesus Christ, Mark!" Derek exclaimed as he walked toward the door and unlocked it, letting Mark inside. "Are you trying to give us a heart attack?" He asked as he opened the door. Immediately, Zoey attached herself to Mark's leg as she squeezed tightly.

"Sorry about that…" He said as he laughed and walked into the house. "Hey… I didn't realize you had guests…" Mark said as Zoey ran back to her ice cream bowl at the table.

"Mark, you know my sister, Sarah… that's Morgan and Sammy, two of my nieces…"

"Hey…" Mark said with a smile as he walked over toward the cupboard and reached in for a bowl. "So I was going down to finance to help someone with one of their bills today…"

"Ever the chivalrous person…" Derek rolled his eyes as Mark pulled a bowl out and set it on the counter.

"Shut up, she was hot… and who do I see there, but…"

"Rachel… let's not talk about this…" Derek said as he looked to Sarah who was glancing over as Mark talked.

"What? She said she saw you today… and that you were carting around three kids… so I had to come around and see what was going on…" He said with a smirk.

"You knew what was going on, you just wanted ice cream." Sarah teased as she watched Mark smile.

"Me? No…" He laughed as he watched Sarah approach him. "It's been way too long, Sarah…" He said with a chuckle as he gave her a hug, reaching for the ice cream container that Derek was holding out to him as he released her and opened the top, scooping ice cream in his bowl. "So you here to help him go turkey hunting?" Mark asked as he watched Sarah laugh.

"Yeah…" She laughed. "And yam wrangling… tater tracking… cranberry bogging…" She said as Mark handed the ice cream container back to Derek as he tossed it back in the freezer. "Are you coming to Thanksgiving?" She asked with a smile as she walked back to the table and sat down.

"I may… I haven't been invited." Mark said with a smirk.

"Mister Mark is coming to Thanksgiving." Zoey replied. "I will invite you…" She said as she climbed off the chair.

"You will?" Mark said as he laughed as they all watched her walk to the refrigerator. She very carefully pulled the finger turkey on the refrigerator down and turned around, running toward Mark. "See, Mister Mark… this is your invitation…" She said with a smile.

"Hey, I thought that was my finger turkey?" Derek asked as Mark lifted her up and took the paper from her fingertips.

"No, it's Mister Mark's…" She said as she kissed Mark's cheek.

"Wow… this is a great turkey, little monkey…" He said as he admired the picture.

"I made it just for you." She said with a smile as Derek watched with raised eyebrows.

"I'll have you know…" Derek said. "That's a second hand gift… She told me the very same thing." He said as Mark laughed and walked toward the table with his bowl of ice cream.

"It doesn't matter to me… it's the thought that counts." Mark laughed as he sat down with Zoey in his lap, setting the paper on the table beside his bowl as he began to eat his ice cream.

"Gift thief." Derek muttered.

"Whiner." Mark replied.

"You know…" Sarah said with a laugh. "I'm… about this close to asking if you two are dating."

"Dating?" Derek laughed. "We're practically married… weren't you listening?" Derek laughed as he rinsed out his bowl and joined his guests at the table for a visit.

* * *

><p>Mark visited for a little while as he and Derek talked with Sarah and caught up on a few things, their conversations remained light and fun as they teased one another. Derek was feeling a lot more comfortable with Mark around, the gravity of the conversations had been brought down a few notches to more comfortable territory. The conversation moved into the living room at one point, where Derek watched the three little girls becoming tired from their adventures during the day. Zoey had pushed her way into Derek's arms at one point and Morgan had already fallen asleep in Sarah's arms as Mark sighed slightly. "Well… I should probably get going…" He said as he nodded toward a sleepy Sammy leaning against her uncle's arm. "It looks like you have some bedtime to get ready for."<p>

"Yeah… that's stopped you before." Derek said with a chuckle as he looked down at the sleepy girl in his arms.

"I'll see you guys later…" Mark laughed as he leaned over and kissed the little girl in Derek's arms on the cheek. "You be a good little monkey."

"Don't forget your picture, Mister Mark." She mumbled as she yawned.

"Can I keep it here? For safe keeping?" He asked as he watched her nod her head.

"Yep… he just doesn't have any room on his refrigerator… all of those pictures from all of those other little girls he sees all the time." Derek teased as Zoey sat up, her eyes widening, her mouth opening in surprise.

"Take that back!" Mark said as Sarah laughed at the two of them as Zoey started to climb down from Derek's lap. "Lies, Zoey… they're all lies!" He exclaimed as he followed after her as she stomped off toward the kitchen. "You're going to get it, Shepherd." Mark said as he followed her into the other room.

Derek laughed as he glanced to his sister as she yawned. "Well… I should probably get them upstairs and ready for bed…" She said as Morgan pushed her body farther into her mother's arms.

"Go on up… I'll make sure Mark gets out of the house… and I'll bring Zoey up and tuck her in too. I think the girls have their bed spots picked out anyway… You can have the spare room on the left side at the top of the stairs." He shrugged.

"Derek… your house really is beautiful." Sarah said with a smile as she glanced toward the kitchen door as it opened and Zoey stomped back in, holding her finger turkey in her hands as she swung it at Derek, Mark walking into the room after her.

"Here, DD… this is yours… Mister Mark doesn't 'preciate it…" She said as she glared back at Mark, who was still apologizing.

"I think that you should give it to Mister Mark, sweetheart…" Derek laughed as he watched Mark pleading with the little girl. "I think he learned his lesson…"

"You think so?" She asked as she glared back at Mark.

"I think so…" Derek said as he laughed, letting her push herself into his legs for a moment as she thought about it. She turned around and lifted the paper up to him.

"Okay… you can have it… but you have to put it on TOP of all the other little girl's pictures…" She said as she put one hand on her hip and gave him a scrutinizing look.

"There are no other little girl's pictures…" Mark pleaded.

"Hmm…" She sighed. "Then gimme a kiss so I can go to bed…" She said as she turned her head and waited as Mark leaned down and kissed her cheek softly, taking the paper from her hands. "Goodnight, Mister Mark."

"Goodnight Miss Monkey girl…" Mark said with a slight chuckle as he stood up straight and waved toward Sarah and Derek. "Goodnight everyone."

"Goodnight, Mark." Sarah said with a smile. "It was good to see you again."

"It was good to see you…" He said with a smile. "Goodnight…" He said as he waved one more time before he headed for the door and let himself out.

Derek sighed as Zoey turned to smile at him. "Last one upstairs is a tired, old person…" He said as she giggled as she took his hand.

"Let's all go upstairs at the same time then." She laughed as Derek laughed as he glanced to Sarah who was laughing as she stood up holding Morgan, and Sammy crawled sleepily from the couch as they all made their way upstairs together.

The girls were all changed and tucked in, in a matter of minutes, sleeping soundly as soon as their heads hit the pillow. Derek took a step toward the doorway as Sarah walked out in front of him, turning as he checked the room one more time. He turned to Sarah as he sighed. "The hallway light stays on… and we'll keep the door open." He said as he sighed.

"Just in case there are nightmares?" Sarah whispered.

"There will be nightmares." He nodded softly. "It's just… we don't know how bad they'll be." He said as he gave her a sad smile.

"That's…"

"That's just the way it is." He shook his head. "Goodnight, Sarah." He whispered as he stepped toward his bedroom.

"Goodnight, Derek." She said nervously as she looked toward the bedroom.

"She'll be alright." He whispered. "I'm really glad you're here." He said, as he waved slightly and opened his door. "Goodnight." He said softly, as he disappeared into his bedroom.

* * *

><p>Sarah lay in the spare bedroom for a while, the quiet of the house was strange for her, always having the sounds of the city to lull her to sleep. She rolled over one more time and sighed, the thoughts of her brother and his new life floating through her mind, her worries for him plaguing her slightly as she rolled over once again, finally deciding on getting herself something to drink downstairs.<p>

She rolled out of the bed and stood up, making her way toward the door she glanced out into the hallway. She could feel her stomach twist a little, knowing why the light was on in the hallway, her heart immediately going out to the spirit filled little girl in her brother's care. She glanced toward the room where the girls were sleeping and then made her way down toward the kitchen. She thought it odd, that the kitchen light was still on, but thought maybe that too had something to do with the little girl's sleeping habits, and made her way toward the refrigerator. She reached for a glass in the cupboard beside it, and opened the refrigerator door, her attention suddenly stolen by the sound of her brother's voice.

It was nearby, but he wasn't talking to her, and it was low and filled with humor as he talked a little. She heard him chuckle, and her eyes followed the sound of his voice to the sliding glass door near the dining room. She walked toward it, unable to see outside from where she was, she walked around to the shadow of the dining room where she could just make out the figure of her brother sitting on the swinging bench on the outside porch. He had a phone to his ear and was chuckling and talking to someone candidly on the phone.

Her eyes flashed to the clock in the room, surprised to find he was talking to someone on the phone at two o'clock in the morning, she listened closely to the conversation.

_"Oh… no… seriously… you can't be serious…" He laughed as he tipped the phone and chuckled. "Come on… Kara…" he laughed._

Sarah bristled at the sound of the woman's name, her ear picking up more of the conversation as she listened.

_"Are you serious? You've never done this before?" He asked as his voice went lower as he became serious. "Well… there's a first time for everything, huh?" He whispered, the throaty sound of his voice was filled with a deep, lusty breath as she watched him shift slightly on the swing._

_"No…" he whispered. "Everyone is bed… of course it's alright… I have the week off… and sleeping is totally overrated." He said as he chuckled slightly. "Hmm… yeah? No one is going to hear… it's just you and me."_He whispered as he wrapped the blanket around him tighter and turned his head, Sarah found it hard to hear what he was saying.

She had all but forgotten why she had come downstairs, and stood beside the door, trying to hard to listen to what her brother was saying to this woman on the phone. He had said she had a boyfriend, why was she talking to him on the phone. Why was she talking to him this late? Also, why was she so concerned that someone would hear what they were saying? She swallowed hard as she pressed her ear harder against the wall, trying desperately to hear what he was saying.

_"Mmm… mm… you want it really moist…" He whispered as he then chuckled an almost shy laugh._

"What the hell are they talking about?"

_"Make sure you use your hands… yeah… knead it… you want it soft…tender…" He whispered as he moved slightly on the swing and tilted his head back as he laughed. "No… no… Yes…." He whispered as he tilted his head down and listened to the other line. "Mm….mmmm, hmm… that's right, you got it… yeah… yes…" He said as he smiled wickedly into the line. _

When Sarah couldn't take it any longer, she opened the sliding door and Derek sat up straight, his eyes flashing to his sister as she stood angrily in the doorway. "Hey…" He said into the line. "I'll call you tomorrow after you're out of work… yeah…" He whispered as he smiled into the line. "Yeah… we'll talk more…" He said in an almost shy laugh. "Yeah…" He said with a slight chuckle as Sarah stood shaking her head angrily. "You too…sweet dreams, Kara. Goodnight." He said softly as he hung up the phone. Without saying a word to Sarah, he stood up.

"What were you doing?"

"Nothing." Derek replied.

"Do you know what time it is?" She asked him as he walked toward the door, pushed past his sister and walked into the house with the lap blanket. He put it over the back of one of the chairs and continued toward the stairs.

"It doesn't matter, Sarah. It's my house… why are you spying on me?"

"Because you won't give me details… you won't give me any inside information, and Meredith really, really likes you… and you act like she doesn't even exist… you just… you…"

"Woah… woah… woah… Meredith? Where did this come from? Sarah… did you get into my liquor cabinet or something?" He asked as he felt his breath catch in his throat as a sudden, frightened scream came from upstairs. "Shit, here we go…" he whispered as he ran up the stairs as Sarah stood shocked, confused and frightened at the bottom of the stairs as Derek ran to Zoey's nightmare.

* * *

><p>Derek practically leapt up the stairs three at a time, his body moving quickly as the frightened yelps of Zoey came hurdling down the stairs, enough to snap him into reality. He found his nieces hadn't woken up yet, but Zoey was standing on the bed, her eyes wide open as she stared at her hands, brushing at her clothes.<p>

"Get it off! Get it off! Get it off! No! Get it off!" She shouted as Derek grabbed her immediately and ran across the hallway holding her as she struggled in his arms. "No! No! Get off me! Get off me! Get it off me!" She exclaimed as Derek reached the bed in his bedroom, he lay her on her back as she continued to scream and kick in the air as her eyes stared off into nothing, her body fighting with all of its strength. "GET IT OFF OF ME! DD! PLEASE! DD! PLEASE!" She screamed as she grasped the air for something, Derek lay against her as he pulled her body into his.

"No… no more…" He replied. "Zoey… Zoey, wake up… Zoey…" He said, his voice was stern as he tried to get into her nightmare somehow, tried to melt into it so that she knew he was there. "DD is here…" he said quickly as her eyes flashed to him for a moment, it was almost as if she were nearly snapped out of it. "Zoey… DD is here… DD loves you… DD is here…"

"No…" She whined. "Get it off me… get the blood off me, DD… get the blood off me…" She cried as Derek felt his heart squeezing with sadness. "DD… it's all over! It's all over me! Get it off me!"

"There is no blood, Zoey…" Derek said softly. "No blood, baby… there is no blood."

"Yes… yes there is… it's on me… see it…" She said as she held her arm out, her eyes finally turning back into two sleepy gray orbs as she realized that she had been dreaming, and that Derek was there. There was no blood, there was no evil, just her and Derek, and a warm bed that she was lying against. "DD…" She whimpered as she looked up at him, her lip sticking out as she could feel the sob rising in her throat. She was incredibly embarrassed, knowing how earth shatteringly loud her screams could be, she swallowed hard as her eyes began to water. "DD, it happened again…" She whispered as Derek shook his head and pulled her into his arms.

"It's okay…" He said softly as he kissed her head as she gripped him tightly. "It's alright… it's gone now… it's gone now…" He said as she suddenly released him and pushed against his chest, climbing up to the top of the bed, she pushed her way into the pillows and covered herself with them, curling into a ball. "Oh… come here…" he said softly. "Don't do this, baby girl… remember what we learned?" He whispered.

"No." She whimpered.

"What did Miss Kara say about your dreams?" He asked as she remained silent for several minutes. "Zoey? What did Miss Kara say… about your bad dreams?"

"That… they're not real." She whispered as she swallowed. "She said to find a happy place…"

"She did, didn't she? She said… to think of… what your nightmare was about, what did she say?"

"Um…" Zoey whispered from beneath the pillows, her nose poking out as she tried to look at Derek. "She said… to pick the things I'm scared about…"

"Yeah…" he said, encouraging her.

"She said, to pick three of them… and to say why they're not scary…"

"That's right… what did you dream?" He asked.

"I dreamed that I had blood on me."

"And what did Miss Kara say about that?"

"She said… blood isn't scary… its inside me… and it's not on me."

"She did… do you see any blood on you?"

"No."

"Are you scared of blood?"

"No." She said as she watched Derek's eyes, her own eyes becoming braver. "Um… DD was gone." She said as she looked at him.

"I was gone?"

"Yes… You were gone, and I had blood on me."

"What did Miss Kara say about that?"

"She said you're not going no wheres…"

"That's right, Zoey. I'm not going anywhere. I love you very much… and I'm here to take care of you. I love you."

"I love you…" She whispered.

"Anything else?"

"Um… no… No more… DD… did I wake up Sammy and Morgan?" She whispered as she looked toward the door and then back to Derek.

"You didn't wake them, baby…" He said as he kissed her forehead. And even if you did… they have had bad dreams before. They know what that is like." Derek replied.

"You're sure?" She whispered.

"I'm positive." Derek replied. "Don't you worry about Sammy and Morgan." He said softly.

"I think I'm ready for bed."

"You're ready for bed…" Derek asked with a gentle smile as he watched her wiggle a little as she moved toward him on her belly. She leaned forward and kissed his nose.

"DD?" She whispered as she looked into his eyes and swallowed, wiping the tears from her eyes.

"Hmm?"

"Were you upset I gave Mister Mark the finger turkey from school?" She whispered.

"I wasn't upset." Derek replied as he watched her nod her head. "I was a little disappointed… I mean… you gave it to me as a present, and it was up on my refrigerator…. And it made me smile."

"Oh… can I make you a new one?" She asked. "Can I make you a better one?"

"You can make me a new one, sweetheart. I would like that very much." He said as he kissed her forehead. "You're ready for bed now?"

"Uh huh…" She sniffled as she rolled to the edge of the bed and carefully climbed out. Derek stood up and held his hand to her, as she turned to face him. "Lift me up, please?"

"No problem…" He said as he lifted the little girl into his arms and felt her wrap her arms around his neck. "I love you, Zoey Grey."

"I love you, Daddy." She whispered sleepily as she buried her head in his neck, and he carried her out of the room. He watched his sister out of the corner of his eye as he turned his head to see her watching him carefully, knowing that she had been listening to him quell the little girl's nightmare.

"Do you understand, Sarah?" Derek whispered softly.

"She's a really good friend." Sarah said softly as she watched her brother carefully.

"My best friend in all of this. I don't need to explain myself to anyone." He replied, as he turned sharply and entered Zoey's room.

* * *

><p>Derek woke to the poking of two little girls who were eager to get the day started. "DD… DD, wake up… it's time for you to wake up…"<p>

"It's time for you to go back to sleep…" Derek muttered as he covered his head with a pillow and waited a moment as he felt them climb onto the bed.

"Uncle DD… it's time to get up…" Sammy said as she climbed on her uncle's back and sat on him, rolling back and forth as Zoey tried to pull the pillow off his face.

"DD, we have to go see mommy… you promised her you'd go see her today."

"I know what I promised." Derek replied as he rolled over slightly, rolling his niece onto the bed as Zoey hopped to the side and laughed as Sammy tipped over. "You don't think I know what I promised?"

"I know you keep promises, DD." She said as she crawled over his chest and kissed his nose. "Now get up, you lazy sack of bones…" She said as she rolled off Derek and jumped on the bed as she and Sammy jumped off the bed and ran out the door together.

Derek rolled off the bed and rubbed his eyes, pulling the blanket onto the bed he yawned as he stood up, stretching a full stretch, he listened to the pounding of the two girl's feet go running down the stairs. He sighed as he shook his head, and walked toward the stairs. He stepped down the stairs slowly and listened to the girls giggling in the kitchen as Sarah talked to them and he stepped into the kitchen slowly. His sister's attention was immediately brought to her brother as he yawned gain and scratched the back of his head.

"Nice hair…" She teased as she watched him immediately run his hands through his messy mop of hair, smoothing it down as the four girls giggled.

"Thanks…" He muttered as he gave her a half smile, his hands still rubbing through his hair as he glanced to the three girls. "What are you waiting for?"

"Breakfast." Zoey replied. "Silly, dilly…" She giggled.

"Is she allergic to anything?" Sarah asked as she turned her head to Derek, who shrugged.

"I don't know."

"Don't you think that her allergies would be something you'd need to know?"

"She hasn't broken out in welts, or stopped breathing on my watch… and she eats everything, so I don't think you have anything to worry about." Derek replied. Sarah rolled her eyes and turned back around toward the stove as she continued to cook. "What are you making anyway? They can have cereal, you know."

"I know… but cereal isn't good for them… all you have is sugar packed fruity rings… and Muesli… two sides of the spectrum, and I wouldn't give my kids either one." She said as she made a disgusted face.

"Thank you for questioning my parenting skills."

"It's no problem." Sarah said with a smile as she continued to cook. Suddenly, the phone on the counter across the room began to ring, and Derek walked to it quickly. He flipped it open and watched his sister watch him. "Shepherd." He said into the line as he immediately smiled, turning away from his sister. "What do you want this early in the morning? It's my week off… What do you want? What? Seriously…?" He asked as he swallowed hard and glanced to his sister. He then sighed softly. "I'll be right there… Just… don't worry, I'll be right there. No… No don't do that… just… just wait for me." He said as he hung up the phone and looked to his sister. "Sarah, I…"

"Go on." She said as she nodded toward the door.

"You don't mind?"

"I don't mind… I don't have anything to do today anyway. I don't mind one more little one to look after."

"Thank you so much!" Derek exclaimed as he started for the door.

"DD! You can't go! You promised you'd take me to see Mommy!" Zoey exclaimed as she jumped from the barstool and ran toward Derek with a concerned look on her face as Derek turned to meet her eyes.

"I promised… and we'll go… Don't worry, I won't be long." He said as he leaned down and kissed her nose. "Now you be a good girl for Aunt Sarah."

"I'll be a good girl." She said as she sighed softly. "You be a good boy."

"I will… I promise." Derek said softly as he watched her run for the chair as he ran upstairs to get changed.

* * *

><p>Derek walked down the hallway quickly, his eyes glance to his watch as he finds himself surprised how little time it took him to get there. He walked down the hallway and he could hear her voice loudly, angry and insistent.<p>

"NO! NO! NO! NO!" She exclaimed as he listened to something crash to the floor in the room.

"Jesus Christ, Meredith, what are you doing?" He mumbled to himself as he walked around the corner into the room. She held a bedpan in her hand above her head as she swung her hand. "Meredith, No!" Derek exclaimed as she stopped herself from swinging it, and Izzie stand across the room ducking from what she thought was an impending crash. Meredith had impeccable aim, and it wouldn't be the first time that she had been in the way of one of her fits.

"Thank god you're here! Tell her to stop this!" Izzie exclaimed as Meredith swung the bed pan through the air, listening to it hit the ground with a loud clang as she swung her hand back and forth reaching for something else.

"Meredith… Meredith this is enough!" Derek exclaimed as he reached the bed and felt her struggling beneath him. "Meredith… Stop this!" He exclaimed.

"NO!" She exclaimed as she pulled her arm from him, she reached her hand down to her unmoving paralyzed hand and grabbed hold of her IV. "No!" She exclaimed

"Meredith, stop!" Derek exclaimed as he grabbed her hand and held it down on her IV, her eyes were filled with rage as she stared at him angrily. "Stop it, Meredith…" he whispered as she continued to stare him in the eyes, a fire was burning deeply within them, a strong and unbreakable frustration was developing deep within her vision. "Stop it, Meredith." He whispered. "Please… please, stop this." He said softly as he felt her hand loosen slightly on her IV. "Please…" He said as she suddenly pulled her hand out from beneath his and smacked him across the face with her wrist, sending him backwards.

"NO!" She screamed as she grabbed for her feeding tube, nestled beneath her hospital gown, she held it tightly in her grasp as she growled at him. "NO!" She shouted.

"That is enough!" Derek exclaimed. "How in the hell can you ever expect to get custody of your daughter if you act like a goddamned animal, Meredith!" Derek exclaimed desperately as he watched her eyes widen suddenly as she stared into his face. "Oh… shit…" He whispered. "Meredith…" he whispered. "Meredith, I'm sorry…"

"No." She whispered. "No… No…" She said again and again as she shook her head and tears fell from her eyes. "No. No." She whispered as she released her hand from the feeding tube and closed her eyes. "No." She whimpered again.

"Meredith… Meredith… please… please look at me." He whimpered as she turned her head from him. "Meredith… please."

"No." she said softly. "No."

"Meredith… look at me." Derek whispered as he touched her cheek, making her face turn to look at him as he felt her tears, hot on his hand. "Meredith…" He whispered.

She blinked as she swallowed, her eyes falling to her paralyzed hand as she looked straight into his eyes.

**_I don't want to see you anymore, Derek._**

She blinked as she closed her eyes and began to cry, turning her head from him, balling her hand as best as she could, she refused to look at him as she began to cry, leaving him stunned and silenced as he stood above her bed.

* * *

><p>Sarah was just putting the finishing touches on the apple pie she was baking when she heard the doorbell ring. She heard the sound of the girls tumbling around upstairs as she shook her head and laughed. "I'll get the door, don't worry about it…" She said as she walked to the front door. She glanced up the stairs and saw the smiling faces of Sammy and Morgan. "I said I've got it, you crazy kids…" She said as the two girls giggled.<p>

Sarah looked out the peep hole and her brow furrowed as she opened the door. "Mark?" She said as he stood in the doorway with his hands in his coat pockets.

"Hey…" He said with a slight smile. "Derek asked me to pick up Zoey." He said as he glanced up the stairs to see the two girls standing, watching him carefully.

"He asked you to pick up Zoey?" She asked with a confused look as she looked up the stairs. "Where is he?"

"He… had some things to do… said that I can drop her off at the house later."

"I don't understand. He hasn't called me or anything… is he alright?"

"He didn't say much." Mark replied. "He just asked me to pick up Zoey and bring her to see Meredith. He said he had some things to work on and he'd be home a little later."

"So he wants you to bring Zoey to Meredith?" She shook her head. "Where is he? Where did he go this morning?"

"He went to the hospital." Mark replied. "Apparently, there was something going on with Meredith… and he went to take care of it, but I got a phone call about a half hour ago, and he asked me to pick up Zoey to visit Meredith."

"Is Meredith alright?"

"I guess…" Mark shrugged. "Sarah, seriously… I really don't know much about what is going on… he just asked me to do him a favor. Try his cell phone…" Mark shrugged.

"Hang on…" She said as she beckoned him to step inside as she closed the door. "Zoey… are you ready to go?" Sarah called as Zoey continued to stare down the stairs at Mark. This was very unorthodox, and she was getting a nervous feeling in her tummy.

"Where's DD?" She called down as Mark sighed.

"Come on down and I'll take you to see Mommy." He said as he tried to give her a soft smile as she stood anxiously at the top of the stairs.

"No… no, where is DD… not mommy… where is DD?" She asked.

"Sweetheart… I'm…"

"NO! I WANT TO KNOW WHERE DD IS NOW!" She exclaimed as she took off running toward Derek's bedroom, slamming the door behind her as Mark stood at the bottom of the stairs.

"Shit…" Mark muttered as he climbed the stairs quickly as Sarah dialed her brother's number.

"Shepherd." Derek muttered into the line.

"Derek, where are you?" Sarah asked as she listened to a long, slow sigh.

"I'm at the hospital." He said as he swallowed hard. "Did Mark pick up Zoey?"

"No… I mean… he's here, but she's locked herself in your room…" Sarah said as she listened to Mark knocking on the door.

"What do you mean she's locked herself in my room? What's wrong? What's going on over there?" Derek asked as he became very anxious. "Sarah?"

"Apparently, she's not a fan of changing routine." Sarah said as she sighed. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." He said quickly as she listened to the pain in his voice.

"Derek, what's going on? Why is Mark here, and why is everyone being so cryptic?"

"Can you give the phone to Zoey, please?" He asked, ignoring his sister's questions. "Please give the phone to her?"

"Derek?"

"Sarah… please." Derek replied.

"Fine." She said angrily as she walked down the hallway quickly and up the stairs. She stepped over Mark trying to see under the door and she knocked on the door as she listened to the little girl crying on the other side. "Zoey…? Zoey, sweetheart… DD is on the phone…"

"No… no he's not… he's not on the phone…" She sobbed. "You're just trying to trick me!"

"No trick, sweetheart…" Sarah replied. "Please come out and talk to Aunt Sarah… and take the phone, he's very worried about you."

"You just want me to open the door! It's a trick!" She cried. "DD is in heaven! DD is in heaven and you don't want to tell me that!" She shouted as Sarah felt the tears coming to her eyes for the little girl, she looked down at Mark who gave her a worried look. Sarah hit the button for speaker phone on the cell phone.

"Derek… you're on speaker phone…"

"Zoey?" Derek's voice echoed through the hallway as Mark sat up and looked up at Sarah as she listened at the door. "Zoey, baby… where are you?"

"DD?" She whimpered from the room. "DD, are you here?" She shouted through the door.

"I'm at the hospital, sweetheart… Mister Mark was supposed to pick you up… where are you?" He asked.

"I'm in your room…. I'm in your room, DD!" She exclaimed as she opened the door quickly, tears in her eyes as she reached for the phone. Sarah switched it off speaker phone and handed it to her. "Oh DD! Oh!" She exclaimed as she held the phone securely in her hands. "It's really you…" She said as her voice sounded relieved, her crying ceased.

"It's really me… why are you giving Mister Mark a hard time?" He asked as he waited for her to answer. "Aren't you going to come see your mommy."

"I'll be right there, DD!" She exclaimed.

"Okay… I'll see you soon…"

"See you soon, DD. I love you."

"I love you too, baby." Derek said softly as he listened to the phone exchange hands.

"Derek?" Sarah said into the line, the concern in her voice was evident.

"Just let Mark bring her in, please." Derek replied. "I'll be home soon." Derek replied, as the line fell dead.

* * *

><p>Mark held Zoey's hand as she skipped along the sidewalk. She was calmer than she had been in the car, with Mark constantly letting her know that Derek was alright, and that she was just going for a regular mommy visit. "I never see Mommy without DD, Mister Mark." She said for the fifteenth or sixteenth time as they approached the front doors. "DD is always with me… are you sure he's okay?"<p>

"I am sure he's okay. He promised me that he would meet us back at home when you're through visiting with mommy…"

"He's going to be at home after I see mommy?" She asked as she looked up at Mark as they entered the hospital.

"Yep." Mark replied as he nodded his head and watched her gray eyes dance as she smiled up at him.

"You promise, right Mister Mark?" She asked as she watched him nod his head.

"I promise." He replied as he squeezed her hand a little to let her know he was serious as they walked into the hospital front doors.

* * *

><p>Derek pulled the car into the driveway as he rubbed his eye slightly. He tried to mentally prepare himself for the tongue lashing he knew he was going to get from his sister as soon as he walked in the door. He did not want to hear it, but he knew it was inevitable, and the groan he emitted when he saw his sister standing on the front porch, her arms crossed over her chest as she waited for him said it all.<p>

He opened his car door and climbed out, rubbing his eyes as he pretended that he was alright. "Sarah… it's freezing outside, I'm not heating the entire forty acres." He said as he gave her a tight lipped smile as she shook her head and continued to stand angrily at the door.

He walked toward her as she continued to stare at him, her lips closed, her eyes giving him a slight preview of what was to come once he stepped into the house. He decided to just walk past her, and see how far he could get before she forced him to talk. He was surprised she let him walk into the house, and as he walked toward the stairs, he cringed as she slammed the door.

"Where are the girls?" Derek asked as he turned around, raising his eyebrows as he found himself staring straight into his sister's matching eyes, though where his were tired and worn, hers were angry and determined. "Sarah?"

"Don't give me that, Derek. Don't even think about giving me that!" She exclaimed as she shook her head angrily at him.

"I have no idea what you…. OW! Let go!" He exclaimed as she grabbed him by the ear and pulled, yanking him across the room as she pushed him down onto the couch.

"Don't give me the shit, Derek. I'm tired of the shit."

"Stop talking like that…where are the girls?"

"They're taking a nap, Derek. They're upstairs and they're sleeping. Do you know why they're taking a nap, Derek? They're napping because last night, Zoey woke them up three times in the middle of the night because of nightmares. They are napping… because for some strange ass reason… their uncle took in a little girl with more problems than she has solutions, and he's just a dumb ass moronic brain surgeon who became one to make up for the brain he doesn't have! What is your problem, Derek? You're going to give me some answers! I deserve answers!"

"I told you why I took her in! I told you!"

"I want you to tell me everything, Derek! I want you to tell me why that little girl is terrified that you're dead! I want to know why she locked herself in that bedroom and told me that I was tricking her… Derek, you need to tell me this stuff. Stop leaving me in the goddamned dark! My children are starting to get affected by this, and you know damn well that I'm not going to sit here and let that happen." She said as she shook her head.

"Sarah." Derek said softly, trying to play the calm game, trying to find a soft spot, trying desperately to get her to drop it, but he knew he had only told her half of the story, and he knew he'd have to give up details if he wanted her to drop it, but he didn't think he was ready.

"Don't you dare, Derek." She growled as she pushed him back as he tried to stand up. "You're going to tell me everything… in detail… Now." She said with an angry growl.

* * *

><p>When Mark and Zoey reached the hospital room, no sounds were emitted out of the ordinary. The door opened and Meredith lay, her head was still bandaged, her left ear still covered with the large bandage from the surgery, her eyes closed peacefully, her hands at her side.<p>

"Mommy is sleeping." Zoey whispered as she released Mark's hand.

"She sure is." Mark whispered, the conversation he had with Derek was bouncing around in his head, the sounds, the images, the complete and utter anger that Meredith had shown and Derek had explained to him was not there, only peacefulness.

"Can we wake her up?" Zoey asked as she walked toward the bed, glancing to Mark.

"Why don't we sit quietly for a little while… let her rest? She'll wake up soon enough." Mark said softly as he watched Zoey nod her head and walk to the drawer, where she opened it up and pulled out her coloring book and crayons.

"I'm going to color her a picture." Zoey whispered as Mark nodded and smiled softly as he sat and watched her sleep, remembering Derek's conversation with him.

* * *

><p><em>Mark picked up his phone and sighed as he looked at the name of the person calling. "Sloan…"<em>

_"Mark, can you do me a favor?"_

_"Derek…"_

_"Mark, please… just one thing… can you do me one favor…"_

_"It starts out as one favor, and then I end up buying you coffee for a week. What do you need?"_

_"I need you to bring Zoey to see Meredith." He said softly, his voice was soft and affected and Mark could hear a bit of anxiety hidden within it, he swallowed._

_"What happened?" Mark asked straight out._

_"She had another fit." Derek said with a sigh. "She… was screaming and throwing things… she's threatening to pull her IV and feeding tube out if I go in there… I have to get out of the hospital. I just… I can't… watch her do this to herself." He whispered as he closed his eyes. Mark then realized that Derek was crying._

_"Are you alright, Man?"_

_"She doesn't want me in there anymore." He whispered. "I have to… figure something out for Zoey… but she doesn't want me there… anymore… she doesn't want my help." He sniffled as he listened to Mark's voice._

_"Derek…"_

_"I need you… to bring Zoey to see her. I'm going to go home in a little while, I have some paperwork to deal with regarding some of her therapy sessions, and I'll be home… but I need someone to pick up Zoey at home and to bring her back there when she's done… if you can't do it, I can have…"_

_"No." Mark said, stopping Derek mid sentence. "I can do it." He said softly. "I'll take her to see Meredith." He said softly as he listened to the pain in Derek's voice. "Are you going to be alright?"_

_"I'm just… I'll… I'll be alright." He said softly as he swallowed hard. "Thank you for this, Mark. I do owe you." He said softly as he rubbed his eyes._

* * *

><p>"She doesn't want you there anymore?" Sarah asked.<p>

"She… said she doesn't want me to get attached to her." Derek said as he swallowed hard.

"She doesn't want you to get attached?"

"She said that… I make it harder and harder for her each day. She said… that… I am getting in the way, and that… her goal is to get well enough to leave the hospital, and to take Zoey away from Seattle." Derek whispered. "She wants to take her away."

"Derek, we just talked about this yesterday." Sarah said softly.

"I know." Derek said as he stared at his hands. "But I didn't think that it would be this soon. I didn't think she would do this to me." He said softly. "I didn't think that… my… Sarah… she said that I do too much for her… that she spent so much time inside herself, that she doesn't want anyone doing anything for her anymore. She doesn't want any help… She threatened to pull out her feeding tube, her IV… she said she's tired of taking orders, and that I am not her doctor, and… she wants full responsibility for her health." Derek whispered.

"What about her therapy?"

"She has a physical therapist, a occupational therapist, a speech therapist and a psychotherapist… she doesn't need me." He whispered. "She said she doesn't need me." He swallowed.

"What do you think?"

"I think I need her." Derek whispered, as he let his head rest in his hands and stared at the floor as Sarah gently rubbed his back as she leaned on him and tried to soothe him.

* * *

><p>Mark sat on the chair in the room reading through a magazine as Zoey sit on the floor quietly and colored a picture. She seemed happy and content to just be in the room, though her eyes moved up to Mark now and then as if she wanted to say something, and realizing it was Mark and not Derek, she looked back down to her paper and continued coloring. "DD sometimes helps…" She said softly as she colored inside the lines of the little dog on the picture.<p>

"He helps, huh?" Mark said softly.

"Yes." She nodded as she continued coloring.

"Does he know how to stay inside the lines?" Mark asked, intending for her to giggle, but instead received a very serious look from the little girl.

"DD always stays inside the lines, Mister Mark." She said as she stared into his eyes, replying to his question as if he were asking her a very important thing. "Always…" She said as she watched him swallow hard. She looked back to her paper and continued coloring. "I miss him." She said softly as she continued to color.

Mark sighed as he listened to the little girl's words. Of all of the people that she had been near, hugged, loved or talked about. Of all of the surrogate parents and 'mothers' and watchers, this was the first time he had ever heard the little girl say that she missed someone. She had sometimes called out for her 'mother' in the middle of a nightmare, and she had sometimes held her toys so close to her, you would think they would become part of her, but this was the first time he had ever heard that little soul say she missed someone. He didn't know what to say, as she lifted her eyes to his for another second, and then moved her eyes to the page, picking up another crayon to continue its colorful journey on her page.

The door to the room opened and Izzie stepped in. She walked toward the bed and jumped a little when she saw Mark hunched over, looking to the floor. "Oh… I didn't realize you were here." She said with a smile as Mark sat up in his chair, and after a moment, Zoey crawled a little from beside the bed to peek out.

"Hi Izzie." She said as she waved and smiled.

"Hey there…" Izzie said with a soft smile as she looked to Mark.

"DD isn't here." Zoey said as she carefully stood up. "DD isn't here, it's just me and Mister Mark. DD couldn't come." She said again as Izzie nodded her head.

"I saw him today." She said with a smile as Zoey nodded.

"Did he talk about me? Did he say he missed me?" Zoey asked as she glanced to Meredith. "Mommy is sleeping. She's going to be disappointed that DD isn't here." She said as she looked back to Izzie. "She's so sleepy."

"She is…" Izzie said keeping a tight lipped smile on her face as she touched the little girl's head and watched her rush over to the coloring book and crayons as she continued to color. Izzie glanced to Mark, seeing that he was watching her carefully.

"She's sedated, isn't she?" Mark asked as Izzie nodded softly. "Is she alright?" He whispered.

"She was threatening to hurt herself." Izzie said as she approached him, talking in a hushed voice so Zoey wouldn't hear. "When Derek left… she couldn't calm down… she was really upset, so we gave her some meds to calm her down."

"What the hell happened, Izzie?" Mark asked as he watched her sleep soundly.

"She was stuck within herself for six years, Mark. She just wants out." She whispered as she watched Meredith as well.

"At what cost? Derek is putting all he has into these two… if he loses either one of them, the house of cards that he's been working so hard to keep standing is going to fall to the ground…" Mark replied. "And all he's going to have left… is an empty heart, and a floor covered in cards. I'd say that she needs time… but that's all she's had, Iz. Time to think, time to contemplate, time to try and become frustrated. Time to make herself bitter and angry at the people around her. She's spent six years inside her head dreaming for the moment that she could see her daughter, hold her, touch her… that I'm afraid she's going to push away everyone else."

"She's stubborn…" Izzie whispered. "But she isn't stupid. She does need time Mark… because if all she has had time to do is think… then she knows very well who is going to be here through it all, and who is going to walk away… and as far as I can tell, the only people that would walk away… are dead." She said as she watched Mark nod softly as their eyes went to the bed. Zoey jumped up and grinned at the movement on the bed.

"Mommy!" Zoey exclaimed happily as she ran around the bed to the stepstool that was beside it, climbing atop it, she was there just in time to see Meredith's eyes open.

"Zzzzz…" She whispered sleepily, as the corner of her lip turned up slightly, though her eyes were filled with a deep, dark sadness.

* * *

><p>Derek stared at the floor as Sarah rubbed his back. He wanted to tell her more, he needed to tell her more, he couldn't speak. "Derek… there's something that you're not telling me." Sarah whispered as she continued to rub his back, trying to get him to look at her. "Why did she think you died?" She whispered, watching his eyes meet hers for a moment. "And tell me… why is she having those nightmares?"<p>

"I… told you what happened." He said as he cleared his throat. "I told you that… I met her… in New York… at the airport." He said as she nodded. "Her grandmother was caring for her… and had passed away… and she was coming to live with her aunt.

"Go on…"

"I told you that… she snatched my pager… and that… I met her aunt… and she and I talked a few times on the phone… and that night… she found her aunt had passed away in the night." He whispered.

"Yes." She said softly.

"What I didn't tell you." He said as he glanced to his sister. "Is that… before she was born, Zoey's father was killed in a car wreck. Meredith went into a deep depression and when she was born, her grandmother took her away from her mother… and was raising her as her own. Her grandmother died and she came to live with her aunt, who she was told was her sister."

"Derek…" She whispered.

"Her sister… Aunt… Lexie… abused her." Derek said bluntly. "I mean… she…traumatized her… and she had a boyfriend who also abused her, treated her like garbage, Sarah. They starved her and locked her in her room. They treated her like an unwanted animal." He said as Sarah sat with her hand over her mouth, shocked at what Derek was telling her. "One night… the boyfriend got drunk and came home and started beating Lexie… with a frying pan… and he had a gun or something… someone had a gun, I don't know. All I know is that… she ended up shooting the boyfriend… and then collapsed. Zoey found them… she called 911 and was brought to the hospital."

"Derek… this is awful…" Sarah said as her lip trembled, her hands trembled, her whole body was filled with shivers as she listened to her brother's words. She wanted to tell him to stop, but she needed to know more, and it was killing her to hear the awful things that had happened to the little girl.

"It is awful." Derek whispered. "But I took her in… She had no one, Sarah. She had no one… and she needed someone who could promise to be here for her." He took a deep breath. "And… she was having horrible nightmares… I mean… worse than the ones she had last night, you wouldn't believe them… we met Meredith… and spent time with her… and she learned the truth about her mother. Meredith was incapacitated… practically a vegetable." Derek said as he watched her eyes. She could only move her eyes… there was no talking, no movement… no anything… only blinking." He whispered. "Then we learned that Meredith was dying... and we had to save her… for Zoey… for Meredith."

"Derek… I… I'm… Derek…"

"She had a clot in her brainstem… and a little over a month and a half ago, she had it removed… and what you saw yesterday… communicating… and… moving a little… that's the start of it all." He whispered. "That's the start of her recovery process…"

"Derek…"

"She wants me out of the way, so that she can have time with her daughter." Derek said as he leaned back on the couch and turned his head to face her. "She wants a bond with her… who the fuck am I to say no to that?" He asked as looked his sister in the eyes. "Who am I to tell that woman… that she cannot have anything she wants. I'm not her husband, and I'm not her daughter's father. I have no rights, Sarah… I'm just a guy who was there… at the right time… I'm no one." He whispered.

"You're DD." She replied, without even thinking for a moment, she had her answer. "You have responsibilities and you know what is best for her, Derek. You are… that child's parent, Derek. You are her father, for a lack of a better word, you are her father. You protect her and feed her and hold her and love her… you are Zoey's father, Derek… like she has never known before, and you're just looking out for her. You're just… trying to do what is best for her. Is she seeing a therapist?" She asked, swallowing hard as she watched Derek's eyes meet hers.

"Kara is her therapist." He said as he watched her expression become a little more surprised. "She's a therapist for terminal kids… and she… knows how to deal with trauma. She's been helping Zoey with her nightmares, and for about two weeks, now… she hasn't had one. Last night was her first one in a while." Derek sighed. "I think it's just the changes… having new people around… she becomes anxious and it triggers the nightmares." Derek replied.

"What are you going to do when everyone else gets here… that's going to be traumatic, and you know Nancy and Kathleen… you know they're going to grill you. You know they're going to upset you… upset Zoey."

"Which is why I'm counting on you and Jen to thwart their evilness." Derek said with a completely serious look. "Sarah… what do I do?" He whispered as Sarah watched her brother sigh in frustration. "What do I do?" he whispered, the desperation in his eyes making her chest tight, her breath catch.

"You… have to talk to Meredith, Derek." She whispered. "You need to tell her how you feel."

"She won't see me." Derek replied.

"Then you need to give her time." She replied. "You're there every day, Derek. You are raising her daughter… she's holding some resentment… you need to give her time to realize you're doing this for her. You need to give her time to understand that."

"How do I do that, Sarah? How do I take a step back without her thinking I've abandoned her?" Derek whispered.

"There's no way that Zoey… is going to let anyone forget you're here." Sarah replied. "You wouldn't believe the things she said about you while you were gone, Derek. You're her entire world. You're her hero. You're her daddy."

"She called me daddy last night." Derek whispered. "She only slipped, but I heard it… it made me feel wonderful."

"She didn't slip… she said it on purpose. She loves you, Derek… and I know that Meredith loves you."

"Meredith doesn't love me, Sarah. She just needs me… until she can do everything for herself. That's not love."

"You keep telling yourself that, Derek." Sarah said as she watched his eyes look up to meet hers. "Zoey isn't going to let anyone forget you, Derek… give Meredith time… she'll come around." She said softly as she reached her arms for her brother, accepting his hug as she felt him calm in her arms.

* * *

><p>Mark sat across the room, scrolling through his blackberry as he listened to Zoey talk to Meredith. The little girl's voice was high and excited, full of happiness as she became incredibly animated in front of Meredith.<p>

"And DD gave me a hug to say everything was going to be alright. He said he was dis-pointed bout the finger turkey that I gave to Mister Mark…" She said as she glanced to Mark and watched him push the buttons on his blackberry. "But I promised DD, I'd make him a better one…" She whispered as she held her finger over her lips. "Are you sad cuz DD isn't here, Mommy?" She asked as she watched Meredith's eyes droop slightly.

She didn't move or make a sound, her throat was swallowing involuntarily as she listened to the little girl, her voice caught in her throat. Her heart was pounding as she watched Zoey watch her curiously.

"Mommy, are you alright?" Zoey whispered as she swallowed hard again, not responding, her eyes just lost on the little girl's face. "Mommy?" She whispered. "Mister Mark, Mommy isn't talking to me." She said as she turned her head and watched Mark glance up at her.

"She must be tired, monkey…" Mark said as he watched her look to Meredith and back to him. "She's just tired…" He said as she turned her face toward Meredith again.

"Mommy, are you just tired?" She asked as Meredith's eyes went to Zoey and she didn't respond, only watched the little girl. "Mommy… please talk to me…" She whimpered as she turned to see Mark walking toward her. "Mister Mark…" She whispered.

"She's just tired, baby… she has had some medicine to help her sleep." Mark said as he watched Meredith's eyes move to him. He reached his hands to Zoey and lifted her into his arms as she held him tightly.

"I love you, Mama." She said softly as Meredith lifted her hand toward Zoey, a movement that made Zoey feel better as she reached down and grasped Meredith's hand. "I love you…"

"Zzzzz…" Meredith whispered as her eyes drooped slightly and her hand slipped from Zoey's.

"Are we going, Mister Mark?" She asked as she watched Mark's eyes watch her mother carefully. "Are we going back to DD now? You said DD was at home, we have to make sure he got home okay…" She said as she wiggled in his arms.

"Yes…" Mark said as he kissed her cheek as he let her slip from his arms. "Go pick up your crayons and coloring book…" He said as he set her on the floor. "Mister Mark wants to talk to Mommy."

"Okay…" She said as she crawled across the floor toward her coloring book and crayons and began to clean them up.

Mark watched Meredith for a moment, her eyes locked with his as he stepped closer to the bed. His eyes flashed to Zoey quickly and back to the woman in the bed as he leaned closer to her and watched her eyes. "Meredith…" Mark whispered as he tried to keep his voice low. "Meredith… I am going to be honest with you." He said softly. "I get… that you're stuck in that bed, okay? I get… that you've been in this bed for six long, excruciating years… do you understand?" He whispered. "I even get… that you're in pain, and you've been in pain for a long time… and you're going to be in pain… for a long time." He said softly. "But you have absolutely no right to treat Derek the way you did today." He said softly as Meredith's eyes stared into his, her lower lip sliding into her mouth as she bit it softly.

Mark glanced to Zoey as she stood up and smiled at him. "I'm ready to go, Mister Mark." She said with a smile as she glanced to Meredith.

"Okay, sweet pea… go sit over in Mister Mark's chair for a minute… and then you can say goodbye to mommy." He said softly as she nodded her head and smiled.

"Okay, Mister Mark." She said cheerfully as she skipped toward the chair.

Mark's attention then went back to Meredith as he glanced to the little girl and watched her lift a children's book to flip through it as he watched Meredith's eyes meet his again. "You have no right to tell him that you don't need him, Meredith." He whispered. "From where I'm standing, you could use all the friends you can get. Pushing him away will get you nothing but pain, it will give him nothing but pain, and as you can tell… from your own daughter's lips, Meredith… it will give her pain. I know you don't want to hurt her." He whispered. "I'm not threatening you, Meredith. I'm not using your child's love as collateral for Derek." He said softly. "But I'm not on your side, either." He whispered. "I'm on Derek's side, and I will always be on Derek's side." He said softly. "I'm on Zoey's side." He whispered.

Mark paused for a moment as he watched a tear roll down Meredith's cheek as he spoke, the pain in her eyes was evident, the exhaustion of the sedative's effects was still clear. "Derek will do what you want him to do, Meredith." Mark whispered. "He's an honorable man with honorable intentions. He loves your daughter as if she was his own, and will love her until the day that you rip her from his loving arms, and forever after that." Mark said softly. "Tomorrow is a busy day, and I will bring her to see you because you refuse to see him. I will bring her here, and you should know that I'm not here for you, like Derek was. I'm here for her." He whispered as he pointed toward the little girl. "I do care if you get better… and I do care that you find happiness… but I also care about my friend, and I care about that little girl… you can't do this alone, Meredith… and you may be able to pull her from his arms physically… but his love for her will never disappear… and his love for you will never disappear."

"No!" Meredith exclaimed suddenly as she made Mark jump, her voice was angry as her finger pointed toward the door. "NO!" She exclaimed.

"Mister Mark?" Zoey whispered.

"Come on, sweetness." Mark glared at Meredith as her eyes narrowed. "Mommy needs her rest."

"Okay…" She said as she slipped from her chair and walked toward him, grasping his hand tightly. "Are we going to see DD now?" Zoey asked as she looked up at Mark. She watched as his eyes went to her mother as soon as she asked her question, his eyes moving to Zoey as he smiled sweetly.

"Yes, Ma'am… we're off to see DD." He said softly as she smiled brightly. "Say goodbye to Mommy." He said softly as Zoey walked over to the bed and grasped Meredith's hand.

"Goodbye, Mama…" She said with a smile as she watched Meredith's sad and frustrated face. "I love you… feel better soon." She said softly as she leaned forward and kissed Meredith's hand softly. "Feel better…" She said. "Maybe tomorrow DD will be able to visit again too." She said with a hopeful smile as she turned and grabbed Mark's hand, smiling up at him, he led her out of the room without another word to Meredith.


	13. If That's What It Takes

**_Thursday, November 23rd_**

"UNCLE DD!" Sammy exclaimed as Derek ran through the living room with his niece attached to his back, her voice squealing loudly as he laughed, swinging her into the dining room as he slid across the floor and swung her around on his neck, where he caught her in his arms as she giggled. "Let's do it again!" She exclaimed as Derek breathed heavily, laughing as Sarah shook her head.

"You shouldn't be running through the house." Sarah said with her eyebrows raised as Derek laughed breathlessly.

"I wasn't running through the house, Uncle DD was running through the house…"

"Uncle Derek…" Sarah replied.

"Eh." Sammy shrugged her shoulders as Morgan stood on the ground holding her arms up.

"Up! Up! Up, DD! Up!" She exclaimed.

"Look at that…" Derek said as he slid Sammy to the floor and lifted Morgan into his arms. "Someone wants some hugs…" He said as he lifted his niece above his head and listened to her happy squeal.

"Uncle DD, when is Zoey going to be back from visiting her mommy?" Sammy asked as she sighed. She looked up at Derek and watched as the smile fell from his face.

"Oh, she'll be home soon…" He said with a kind smile, watching Sammy's eyes on his. "What?" He asked as she shrugged.

"Nothin…" She said as she turned and headed off down the hallway. Derek was about to sit down, when the doorbell rang. "Doorbell, doorbell!" Sammy exclaimed as she ran toward the door.

"Samantha! Don't you open that door!" Sarah called as she glared at Derek rolling his eyes as he walked down the hallway.

"I'm coming, Sammy…" Derek said as he carried Morgan down the hallway with him, and looked out the peek hole on the door. He took a deep breath as he looked down at Sammy. "Are you ready?" He asked as she nodded her head and grinned. He swung the door open and laughed as Sammy hopped in front of him. "Who is that?" He asked as Sammy's eyes widened and her jaw dropped.

"NANNY!" She exclaimed as Marjorie laughed at the sight of her granddaughter standing in front of her.

"Oh my goodness! I must be late!" She exclaimed as she bent down and hugged Sammy, lifting her into her arms as she gave Derek a half smile. "You are getting so big!"

"I am!" Sammy exclaimed as her grandmother let her down and she ran into the house to announce the arrival to her mother.

"You found the place." Derek said with a smile as he held his hand out to her.

"I did…" Marjorie said with a smile. "It was quite the experience, let me tell you… I didn't know if the cab driver was trying to trick me or something." She said as she took his hand and stepped into the house, accepting a kiss from Morgan as she stepped into Derek's house. "Oh my goodness, Derek… this house is absolutely breathtaking!" She exclaimed as she looked at the woodwork and fine detail put into the entrance.

"Thank you." He said with a smile. "Now it's time for the tour…" He said with a chuckle as he watched the kitchen door open. "Sarah…" She said with a smile as the door opened and Sarah and Sammy came walking out.

"Hey, Mom…" She smiled.

"Where is everyone else?" She asked, looking around as she watched Derek let Morgan to the ground.

"They'll be here soon." Sarah said as she gave Marjorie a hug. "Let's show you around…" She said as Derek rolled his eyes.

"I already said that…" He chuckled as he took Marjorie's arm and began the tour of the house.

* * *

><p>As the tour moved upstairs, Marjorie tugged on Derek's arm slightly, their eyes met and she tilted her head. "What's going on, Derek?" She whispered as she squeezed his hand as they reached the top of the stairs.<p>

"What do you mean?" He asked as he watched her inquire with her eyes.

"Your eyes…" She said softly as she touched his forehead. "You have the exact same eyes as your father, Derek… I can see that there is something missing in them. Are you alright?" She whispered, watching his eyes dart to the side.

"I'm fine…" He said softly. "I'm fine… but… thanks for asking, I'm alright." He nodded as she tilted her head to try to get him to look at her. "Mom, I'm fine." He said with a little more of a stern tone and turned out of her grasp as he led her down the hallway.

"This is my bedroom… Zoey's bedroom… there are plenty of rooms, plenty of beds, plenty of blankets. Sarah made sure there were enough towels and sheets and pillows… She…"

"Where is Zoey?" Marjorie asked, her eyebrows raising as Derek stopped.

He didn't face his mother right away, running through his mind what he had told her and what he hadn't told her. "She's with her mother." Derek replied. "She's visiting her mother." He said softly.

"Her mother?" Marjorie asked as Derek cursed himself internally.

"Her mother is in the hospital." Derek said as he turned around and faced her. "Mark took Zoey to visit with her. He's been helping me out a lot with her, making sure she gets to school and that I stay sane. It has been pretty busy." He said with a soft nod as he watched his mother's surprised expression. "Don't worry… an explanation is in order." He said as he sighed. "We'll get to that when everyone is here… after you meet Zoey." Derek said softly as Marjorie nodded.

Marjorie was about to ask him again if he was alright, his behavior was very disconnected, very lonely, very worried and concerned. He just exuded a strong sense of pain and hurt, and she couldn't quite identify it, but the feeling was causing her stomach to stir as the doorbell downstairs rang.

"That's probably another one of your sisters." Marjorie said as Derek nodded.

"You can walk around up here… look at anything you want." He said with a half smile. "Pick out your room or whatever too." He said as he nodded, walking past her quickly as he made his way for the stairs, his pace was almost as if he was trying to get away from her. She listened to him pound down the stairs quickly, as he opened the door to his sisters.

"Derek!" Nancy exclaimed as a van load of kids started piling into the house. "Kids! Take off your sneakers and coats, Uncle Derek will tell you where to put them!" She called past him as they all ran down the hallway to explore the house, saying hello to Derek as they went, their voices loud and excited as they all talked.

"Put coats in the living room on the couch for now… sneakers in the hall closet…" Derek called as Nancy hugged her brother quickly.

"You live in the middle of nowhere!" She exclaimed.

"Do you even have running water out here?" Kathleen asked as her husband walked up the steps.

"Michael…" Derek said as he held out his hand for his brother in law as the flood of children rushed into the house and Michael shook his hand.

"Ray said he's sorry he couldn't make it." Nancy said quickly as one or two if his nieces attached themselves to Derek's legs as Kathleen hugged her brother. "He had to work today..."

"Come on in, come on in…" Derek said as he suddenly felt overwhelmed with his family surrounding him, knowing he still had a sister and two brothers in law on their way, not to mention four more kids and Zoey.

"Starting to regret it, Derek?" Kathleen asked as she watched Derek lift one of his nephews from the floor.

"Absolutely not." Derek said as he nodded his head. "Living room is over there… television, the football games should be starting soon. There are chips and dip for before dinner… dinner will be at four… Sarah is in the kitchen. Derek rattled off as he looked around as everyone made themselves comfortable, the children played throughout the house as they explored their uncle's house, stretching their legs after such a long, tiresome plane ride.

Derek stepped to the stairs as his mother walked down the steps, she smiled at the look on his face, she watched as his eyes scanned the room and several of his nieces and nephews talked to their grandmother when they discovered that she had already arrived. The volume in the house was becoming louder, mixing together to form just a cloud of conversation that Derek had no idea how he'd be able to keep up, as the doorbell rang again, and Derek sighed, walking toward the door.

He opened it quickly as two little girls came running inside, followed by two older boys of eight and was greeted by the bright grin of his brother in law.

"Jim!" Derek exclaimed as he held his hand out.

"Der." Jim said as he shifted and Derek's sister's head leaned against his as she held tightly to Jim's neck, her legs wrapped around her husband's waist.

"Saving money on a cab? Did you carry her from New York?" Derek laughed as Jen swatted at her brother.

"Haha, funny… I twisted my ankle last week… and I'm on crutches… jerk…" She said as she swatted at him again.

"Well come on in… though I'm not sure about how I feel about monkeys in my house." Derek said as Jim laughed and stepped past Derek, leaning to the side as Jen reached out for her brother and grabbed him by his shirt, pulling him close as she hugged him from his back.

"You're just jealous that you don't have a hot man to carry you around and answer to your beck and call…" She said as everyone laughed at her joke, and Derek's face turned red as he let his sister grab hold of her husband one more time as the volume in the house became even louder, and Derek moved around the room, accommodating.

Randy stepped into the house and gave Derek a smile as he gave him a friendly handshake. "Randy…" Derek said with a smile.

"Where are you keeping my wife?" He laughed. "She said you've been running her ragged." He laughed as Sammy ran to her father and giggled as he lifted her from the ground.

"Me running her ragged? She's been running me ragged!" Derek laughed as he looked toward the kitchen to see Sarah come through the door with a big grin as Morgan jumped near Randy's feet as he lifted her up and gave her a hug and Sarah approached for a hug and a kiss.

"I am keeping you on your toes, Derek… not running you anywhere…" She said with a laugh as she said hello to everyone and hugged her husband again, kissing him on the lips as they all visited and began talking at the same time.

Derek stood by the couch, watching his family converse and visit, his stomach was in knots, his head reeling as he tried to comprehend everything, preparing for the questions and answers that would be bouncing in the room in a few short minutes. He backed up slightly, stepping out of the room and away from everyone as he took a deep breath, when the door suddenly burst open and a flurry of pink and purple came racing through the room.

"DADDY! GUESS WHAT! GUESS WHAT, DADDY!" An excited voice exclaimed as everything around Derek melted into nothing. The sounds and sights disappeared, all that mattered was the hands that reached out to him, and the weight of the tiny soul in his arms as he lifted her into his arms. Her grey eyes were filled with excitement, her freckled nose wiggling as she grinned at him.

"What, baby?" Derek whispered as he pulled the purple hat from her hair as Mark stepped in the door and turned to close it.

"I'm home!" She said with a giggle as her eyes widened and her jaw dropped as she suddenly realized the house was filled with people.

* * *

><p><em>Life is full of need. From the day you are born, you rely on other people. You need someone to feed you, to give you water, to clean you, to hold you. You need someone to clothe you, to keep you warm, to smile at you, to coddle you, to discipline you, to teach you, to protect you.<em>

_The day you are born, you are nothing but a wrinkled bundle of flesh and bones that relied upon the souls of the people that surround you to protect you from the unknowns and fears of the world. The day you came into this world, you were cold, afraid and alone until the moment that your mother's flesh touched your own, and you could feel that connection, that hunger, that need for closeness and happiness and contentedness._

* * *

><p>Derek held the little girl in his arms, pausing for a moment in the hallway as he watched the little girl's eyes as they stared off into the living room as the sounds from the room became quieter as all eyes were on the stranger and the little girl.<p>

"Hey everyone!" Mark said with a bright grin as some people said hello, but most of the eyes were still on Derek and the excited little girl in his arms who had called him 'daddy'.

Derek leaned forward and whispered in her ear. "I told you they were coming." He said as she turned her face toward him, her cheeks were turning red as her blonde pigtails swung and dangled as her eyes met his. She leaned in and pressed her lips to his ear as she whispered.

"I forgot." She said as Derek smiled and whispered in her ear, fully aware of the stares he was getting.

"Didn't you see all the cars?" He whispered.

"I didn't notice." She whispered back as Derek smiled at her. "I was too excited to see you…" She said as she smiled at him.

"Do you want to meet everyone?" He whispered in her ears, his cheeks burning as he smiled at the little girl as she moved her lips to his ear again.

"Yes, please." She said as she turned her head, her pigtails swinging a little more as Derek lifted her to the floor. "Can you please hang up my coat, DD?" She asked as she pulled her coat off her shoulders, trying to not act nervous as she listened to the whispers in the other room.

"Of course." He said with a smile as he took her coat hang hung it by the door on the coat rack.

"I think I'm ready now." She said as she swallowed and looked up at Derek, her smile was soft and her eyes were filled with bravery. "We practiced… so we're ready…" She nodded.

"Right…" Derek said with a laugh as he took her hand. "We practiced…" He said with a smile as he walked into the living room reluctantly, Zoey's hand giving his a squeeze for support as they entered the living room.

"Hi everyone…" Derek said as he felt Zoey squeeze his hand. "There's someone I'd like to introduce to you." He said with a smile as the tiny spirit tugged his hand and smiled, her bravery swelling within her belly as she faced her newest family members.

* * *

><p><em>That child that you were knows no love in the moment it comes into the world. You knew nothing about the fears and anxieties that you would face in the future. You knew nothing of the happiness you would feel, or disappointments that you will be victim to when you grew into the person that you were to become. A blank slate without a name, you grace the world with your presence and everything happens so fast, that before you know it, you are living the life of someone that you never thought you'd become, and learn as you grow older whether you have become a success or a failure in a world that your parents pulled you into.<em>

_Most children emerge from their womb head first, a testament to how your parents expect you to face the world. Head first. Dive in. Your first cries are due to the bright lights, the loud noises, and the cold wet feeling of the afterbirth as your skin hits the air of the room, where you feel a pinch of pain as your umbilical cord is cut, and you are sent on your way to a world of blurry sights and loud sounds and tests that will conclude with the decision of whether you are perfect or not._

* * *

><p>Derek took a deep breath as he stood behind the door to the kitchen. Introductions had gone well, and the family seemed content with the idea of him caring for a 'friend's' child. He had explained that his friend was in the hospital and was unable to care for her daughter, so he took her in, her eyes flickered mischief while he told the story, and he knew she wanted to talk to him about it, but she was now playing with Derek's nieces and nephews as if she had known them forever, as if she belonged in the brood, as if she were Derek's own daughter as she had actually said to his family.<p>

"He's my daddy." She had said quite confidently to everyone as Nancy gasped slightly and her jaw dropped and Marjorie stood aside and smiled as she waited her turn to meet the little girl, the sound of 'Nanny' coming off the little girl's lips as if she had been waiting her whole life to have a grandmother to smile at her beautiful shining eyes. It was as if she understood everything and knew that her smile brightened Derek's spirits, and made the dread of explaining his situation to his family disappear for minutes on end as she began to jabber away and make everyone's heart warm as she walked around and shook everyone's hand, meeting her new family one at a time.

Derek took another deep breath as he released it slowly, closing his eyes as he heard the door to the kitchen opening. "Derek?" It was Nancy and Kathleen. He knew that this was coming.

"Don't say anything." He said softly as he listened for the sound of the little girl's voice in the other room, her giggle calming him for a moment as the kitchen door closed and his sisters stood in front of him.

"We think that you should talk to us…"

"Of course you think that." Derek said as he opened his eyes. "What?"

"You… took custody of a stranger's child?" Kathleen asked.

"I took custody of Zoey, Kathleen." He stated flatly. "She's not a stranger's child, she's her mother's child."

"You said that you don't know her mother well… Derek, do you really think this is a wise idea?"

"I wasn't thinking wise at the time, Nancy." Derek said with an irritated growl. "I was thinking more along the lines of necessary, needed, destiny…fate." He replied as he shook his head. "I invited you here for Thanksgiving, and to meet her… if you don't want to be respectful, and you don't want her to be a part of my family…then you can leave. No questions asked." Derek said as he turned and walked out of the kitchen, leaving his sisters to stand in the kitchen after him as the door slammed in their face.

* * *

><p><em>One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten fingers, ten toes. Two eyes, two ears and a nose. Perfect.<em>

_When you're born, it's easy to say you're perfect. You've made no mistakes, you've committed no sins, and as your lungs fill with air, you squeak with the life your parents gave you, getting your first taste of this new world is exhilarating and absolutely frightening at the same time._

_I am like a newborn child._

_I am a woman who has spent six years of my life inside my own body. I was contained in a womb of safety and security of my own mind, my own body, my own thoughts and intentions. There were things around me that I could not control. There were people and events that influenced my very life and future, and the future of my family and friends. Through it all, I had no one to rely upon but myself._

_Like a child in the womb, my nourishment came from a tube. My experiences came from those who spoke to me, touched me, cared for me, and loved me. Like a newborn child, life now is a blurry mess of sights and sounds that frighten me, and make me fight for the safety and security of my own mind, and dream of a time where I was safe, secure and warm against the body of someone who loves me. Like a newborn child, I am frustrated with the inability to communicate to those around me my needs._

_I have needs._

_I have the need for protection, the need for love. I have the need for hope for the future, and the need for the past to rest. I have a need to heal, and to fight for my happiness. I have the need to be cared for, and to care for others as they have done for me when I was in the direst of situations. I want to give. I need to give. In order to give, I must take, and if I take, I will hurt those that have protected me._

* * *

><p>Izzie stepped into her friend's room and watched her sleep, her eyes closed, her body peaceful as she checked her vitals. The patch over her ear was large, the look on her face was peaceful. "Meredith… she waited for you to open your eyes… she waited for such a long time, why are you being so stubborn." Izzie whispered as she thought of Zoey's visit with Mark.<p>

She had wished her mother a Happy Thanksgiving, told her a thanksgiving poem, and waited patiently for her to open her eyes, to acknowledge her, to say her name as best as she could There was no movement, there was no change only peace and quiet and the wishful hopes of the little girl as Meredith didn't wake up for her, she slept peacefully through the little girl's visit, and when Mark whispered it was time to go, she reluctantly kissed her mother goodbye and told her that she was thankful that she had Derek, thankful that she had Mark, and thankful that she would never be without her mother, ever again.

"Meredith…" Izzie whispered. "Don't slip away… there are too many people that love you, too many important people who need you." She said as she squeezed Meredith's hand, as she turned and walked from the room, leaving Meredith to her peaceful slumber.

* * *

><p><em>I am like a newborn child in circumstance, but not in spirit, not in my soul. In my soul, I am Meredith Grey. I am a woman who has lived the life of a caged creature for far too long. I am stronger than a newborn child. I am courageous. I will not cry. I will not fight it. I will fight for it.<em>

_My life has been filled with challenges. From the moment I came into this world a wet, cold, screaming newborn, to the day I slipped away unknowingly. I have always been a fighter. When the love of my life died, he took with him, the soul that he had embedded in me. With that, he took my love. In its place, a dark hole remained._

_My mother took my child from me, the only piece of my love that remained, sending me deeper into a sleep that never wished to lift. My father cared for me as best as he could until the day he died, replacing his warm hands with the hands of my half sister. My child was gone, my love was gone, why did I remain behind?_

_I remained behind because there was something more for me here._

_I didn't know it then, but I know it now._

_My daughter is a ray of sunshine. She is a burst of energy that is so bright, so blinding, so intense, that she herself could provide the energy for the entire world with just her smile. I am her sleeping beauty, her mommy, her focus when she walks into this room. I am her family._

_But he…_

_He is her life._

_He is the be all and end all for that child, and for that, I respect him. For that, I love him. He doesn't try too hard. He doesn't beg or plead with her to love him._

_He just is._

_And she just is._

_And together, they're perfect._

* * *

><p>Derek stood before his family with his glass in his hand, his arm outstretched as he smiled at his family before him. His eyes were filled with joy, though his heart was missing something. He didn't feel complete and he knew why, and he tried his best to hide his emotions as he toasted his guests.<p>

"First and foremost, I'd like to thank all of you for coming out here across the country on one of the busiest holidays of the year. It means a lot to me to have you all here in my home together. It makes it a little more real, a little more official, and a little more like home having everyone here. I am glad you could all make it, and I love you all very much." He said as his eyes passed over the table full of adults, and the large table of children as they all smiled and giggled as they tried to remain quiet.

"I want to thank so many people for so many things… and I'm thankful that… that we have this delicious meal before us… and that I'm doing well at work… despite some rocky days over the past two months… I am thankful to have my family… especially Zoey… here to share her first Shepherd Thanksgiving… with her new family… I'm thankful that you have all been so nice to her… inviting and loving of her… though there are some skeptics out there." Derek said as his eyes passed to his two sisters. "We're happy… and we will be happy… I'm thankful that Zoey's mother made it through her surgery… Meredith…" He choked out her name as he tried to remain calm. "She's recovering…and…" Derek said as he started to become choked up, his tears rolling down his cheeks as Mark patted his arm. "Thank you everyone." He said with a smile as he held his glass up. "Happy Thanksgiving."

"Happy Thanksgiving!" Everyone exclaimed as they held their glasses up and toasted one another, and all of the many things they have to be thankful for.

* * *

><p><em>Sometimes when they visit, I just lay here and listen to them color or talk to one another. It's like being in the room of a secret society where 'pink' is the secret code word, and giggles and tickles are the secret handshakes.<em>

_Sometimes when they visit, I can't help but wonder if there is a bit of her father's soul that snuck from her tiny body into his, finding its way to his eyes or his smile, showing its face so that I know that it's there, so that I get a feeling in the tips of my toes and warms my entire body, reassuring me that she is in the best care possible._

_I am afraid though._

_To love him._

_He's a young man with his own life and ambitions and dreams. He's a young man with a home of his own, and a heart that I am frightened to death that he may give to me. I am afraid that if I love him, that he will share the same fate as everyone else that is connected to me. I am afraid I will disappoint him. I am afraid that I will hold him down and make him feel obligated to help me._

_I want to love again._

_I want to feel the love that he feels when she says his name. I want to feel the love that she feels when he holds her. He brought her back to me, and for that he is my hero. Not some idyllic being that stands heads and shoulders above all others, but a young man who took in a small child that he had no obligation to take in. A young surgeon with dreams and responsibilities and the heart of a lion, full of strength and youth and stubbornness, and not without his faults._

* * *

><p>Derek sat at the table for dessert, the pieces of pie had been handed out and Kara and Carrie had joined them all, introduced to the family one at a time as she marveled at the busyness of the house, and the happiness that the house was filled in. Everyone laughed and enjoyed themselves as they ate their desserts and questions passed around the table as they noted Derek and Kara's close friendship.<p>

"So are you and Derek dating?" Jeni asked as she watched Derek shake his head and Kara laughed.

"No… no…" She giggled. "We're just good friends… We can call one another any time day or night..." She said with a smile.

"She's a good support system." Derek nodded as he shoved a mouthful of pie in his mouth and nodded. "It's a good thing to have when you're raising an energetic child on your own." He said as Kara laughed.

"Or if you have a bread making disaster at two o'clock in the morning…" She laughed as Derek chuckled.

"Yeah, like that hasn't happened before…" He said as Kara nudged him and they laughed as everyone enjoyed the levity of the conversation.

Suddenly, the sound of Derek's pager pierced the happy mood as Derek lifted it to his face, his face gone pale as he stood up and stared at the pager. "I…" he whispered as he looked to Kara. "I have to take this." He whispered as he turned and walked toward the door. "Excuse me…" He said as he walked into the kitchen.

Kara and Mark exchanged a look and she stood up and excused herself as she walked toward the kitchen.

Derek stood in the kitchen pacing as he listened on the phone line. "Uh huh…. Uh huh… yes… Yes… Izzie… just… just calm down." He sighed as he looked up at Kara as he sighed. "I will be right there." He said as he flipped his phone closed.

"What's wrong?" Kara asked as Derek sighed.

"It's Meredith…" Derek whispered. "Izzie is worried about her… and she… she isn't responding to anything and Izzie is scared that she's falling back into her depression." Derek replied.

"Are you going in?" Kara whispered.

"Kara, I have a house full of…"

"Shut up and go in… I'll take care of your family… you look like you can use a break from them anyway." She said as Derek watched her give him a fake dirty look. "Oh, just go tell your famly, and get the heck out of here before I kick your ass." She said as he chuckled nervously and walked out the kitchen door.

* * *

><p><em>I don't want him to think that is why I love him. I want him to know that the fact that he took in that precious little girl is only one of the million things about him that I have learned that makes me feel like the flashes of one thousand lightning bolts lighting the nighttime sky, sending wild surges of energy through my body when he touches my hand, or presses his lips against mine.<em>

* * *

><p>Derek followed Izzie into the room and they found that her eyes were open as she stared directly into his eyes as he stepped into the room. "Izzie, she's awake now…" Derek said as she shrugged.<p>

"I know." Izzie said softly as she shrugged her shoulders again. "But if I sent you a page that said she was awake and wanted to see you…"

"I would have rushed here just as quickly." Derek replied. "Don't kid yourself." He said as he approached the bed without looking to Izzie, he didn't even notice that she had stepped out of the room. The only thing that existed for him at that moment… was Meredith.

"Jjjj…." Meredith whispered, her face concentrating as Derek reached for her hand.

"Meredith… don't…"

"Jjjjjjjju…Jjjjjuuuu…" She whispered as Derek moved closer to her.

"Meredith…" He whispered as he moved his face toward hers as he smoothed her hair back softly as he watched her eyes talk to him, he watched her eyelids flutter involuntarily as she watched him. "Meredith…" he whispered.

"Jjj…." She whispered.

"Meredith… what do you need? He whispered. "What do you need, I'll give you anything?" He asked as she swallowed and concentrated, her eyes burning into his as she licked her lip softly and watched his eyes.

* * *

><p><em>I think I love him, and I want him to know it.<em>

_I need him to know that._

* * *

><p>"Jjj…" She whispered. "Jjjj…"<p>

"What do you need, Meredith?" He whispered. "I'm listening… I'm listening to you." He said as he watched her eyes. "I promise…"

"Jussssst…" She swallowed. "Jjjjussst…. Dah-rek" She said, her voice forceful as she listened to the words tumble from her mouth as she watched his lips curl into a bright smile, his eyes sparkling, his hand gently running along her cheek, as he leaned down slowly and leaned his forehead onto hers as she watched the happiness in his eyes.

* * *

><p><em>Because life is too short to push people away. Life is too precious to lie in a bed stuck within yourself and not allow anyone inside. I'm ready to face the world. I'm ready to be reborn. I'm ready to fight for my life and my love.<em>

* * *

><p>"Deh-" She said as she watched his lips move closer to hers, the soft warmth of them making her feel complete as they pressed gently against hers. "Rek…." She whispered as he felt her hand move up and touch the back of his head, pulling him close as she accepted his gracious and loving mouth upon hers, sharing their love for their lives and their family with that kiss, he pulled himself onto the bed with her and held her, kissing her lips, her cheeks her ears and her temple, as she repeated his name over and over again, the happiness in her voice being the most rewarding thing that Derek had felt, in a very long time, and a warmth that he never, ever wanted to let go of.<p>

* * *

><p><em>I'm ready to live again.<em>

_For Zoey, for Derek, but more importantly._

_For myself._

* * *

><p><strong>The end. (There is a sequel, if you're interested... thoughtful reviews are often rewarded)<br>**


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